The Skolney Blog

Guess what, everyone! A new Star Wars movie is here! Which means only one thing anymore: CULTURE WAR!!!! Yes, because no franchise (not even Marvel) has become more of an object for internet fandoms to whine and argue about incessantly, often for political reasons. Yes, how DARE a franchise that began as a Vietnam allegory and featured bad guys called "stormtroopers" insert anything even vaguely political into its product! I loathed the discourse around the prequels back in the day, but at least that was mostly left to the films themselves. The Disney Star Wars era has proven that the prequel era was not an outlier. Star Wars fans exist to bitch. They hate everything. If it came out after 1980, it is shit. And now in this era we have all the added whining from the deplorables, the ones who hold extra disdain for all things Star Wars now that there were projects fronted by women, or prominently featuring any non-straight white male 100% of the time. And when the overseer of al...

Just over 2 weeks ago, Minnesota sports had one of the coolest nights we have ever had, a truly unique convergence of teams and stakes, with the Timberwolves and Wild both clinching 1st round playoff series wins at home. But the problem with winning in the 1st round is that you then have a 2nd round. Never before had the Wolves and Wild both advanced in the same year. Could they do it again and against superior competition?  Well, this IS Minnesota sports. Even when we DO get some playoff success (Minneapolis Miracle, the Twins 2023 wild card win), it doesn't sustain itself. And in the span of 3 days this week, the championship-less (hell, finals appearance-less) Wolves and Wild were once again brushed aside, so some other team that isn't from Minnesota can win a championship. Each found their own way to add to our state's big 4 misery. The Wild, in the 2nd round for the first time since 2015, faced the Colorado Avalanche, league leaders in points, and generally believed to...

Every other major sports market gets these days at least somewhat regularly. Forget titles, just advancing in the playoffs. Many get this joy through multiple teams.  Not us.  Minnesota is a cursed sports market, a reality that becomes more and more of a burden through every season of unfulfilled expectations and misplaced hope, and absurd circumstances that lead to losses. There was little reason to think the last night of April would be any different. But there was a wrinkle this time, a very rare coincidence of scheduling that had both the Timberwolvea and the Wild at home, both playing a game 6 up 3-2, and thus both in position to advance to round 2 in their respective marathon playoffs. The Wild had the more hopeful situation, since they were healthy. The Wolves, man, they were already down Anthony Edwards and Donte DiVincenzo, and then we found out Ayo Dosunmu was going to be out too. How were the Wolves possibly going to get this done? The Wolves game had some reasonabl...

1996: The 80s and 90s were the glory days of the pulpy, often sleazy studio thriller. But they were all starring adults and dealing with adult things. We youths needed our own version, and we got it with Fear, a real blast of a movie. This is teen Fatal Attraction. Innocent high school girl Reese Witherspoon falls for the initially nice older guy, Mark Wahlberg, but then to the surprise of no one he turns out to be a total psycho, in those ways that only movie villains ever are. This movie could easily veer into total trash, but it has a lot going for it. It was made by a legitimate director, James Foley, who had made Glengarry Glen Ross just a few years earlier. I really like the Pacific Northwest setting. I really like how the parents (William Petersen and Amy Brenneman) are fleshed out as actual people.  The casting was really canny. Wahlberg had begun to get into acting, but was still mostly known as Marky Mark, and we had a year to go before Boogie Nights. His care...

In theaters: THE DRAMA Zendaya and Robert Pattinson are about to get married, but then a dirty secret gets revealed. I mostly enjoyed this movie, despite the fact that I had a hard time buying the aforementioned secret would make anybody on screen act the way they do.  FACES OF DEATH Not so much a remake of the infamous original as a meta sequel. It's alright. I saw it for the inimitable Barbie Ferreira, who is good in it. Movie ends up following some standard slasher beats.  LORNE Entertaining documentary about Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels. They got just about everybody to go on camera and talk about him, and some of the best parts are the former cast members just cracking jokes.  MOTHER MARY The latest A24 oddity stars Anne Hathaway as a troubled pop star trying to get her estranged friend and dressmaker (Michaela Coel) to make her an outfit for a special performance. I was kind of intrigued by the first half of this, which gave off Phantom Thread vibes. B...

The 2026 Vikings draft was unlike any in their history. It was conducted without a set GM, since that position has not been filled after the somewhat surprising firing of Kwesi Adofo-Mensah a few months ago. Cap genius Rob Brzezinski was the main man for this draft, I suppose auditioning for the full-time job.  I think he made himself a true contender with the work he did over the 3 days. But I guess I'm in the minority, because for 3 days it was just bitch bitch bitch nonstop from most Vikings fans. The bitching began in round 1, when the Vikings took Caleb Banks, a DT, instead of perhaps a safety. Banks has had some injury issues that knocked his stock down a bit, but if healthy he can be an amazing talent at a position of even greater need than safety. But fans were irate we drafted Banks  cause none of the godly mocks had predicted he would be the pick. Day two was also packed with the potential for immediate impact. In the 2nd round we took Jake Golday, a playmaking lineb...