The Skolney Blog

Vladimir Putin Rudy Giuliani Melania Kim Jong Un Scott Baio James Woods Thanos Red Skull Kylo Ren A bucket of KFC chicken Kramer9guy or Kevin from St. Paul or HMS Pennypussy or that ugly horse Amanda Sarah Sanders's 3rd chin Hitler's re-animated corpse Stalin's re-animated corpse Permit Patty BBQ Becky Milo Yanniapolisorwhateverhisnameis Or someone even worse. But hey, Civil War 2 is gonna be a blast.

Game on, rest of the WNBA.

SCOTUS is now officially nothing more than another corrupt extension of this evil Trump occupation. All because the GOP was allowed to steal a supreme court seat. Gorsuch should be the next one harassed in public. He's as legit as SC justice as I am.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This is a war. Conservatives are the enemy. Civility? These people should have the shit beaten out of them, if not worse, every single day. I want every last one of them to suffer in every conceivable way.  And they deserve it, because they spend every waking moment making this country and all our lives worse.

The second I heard that pig woman was denied service at a restaurant I knew the utterly UN-self aware Trumptards were immediately gonna start whining about discrimination. The same demented fuckwits who just a few weeks back were celebrating a SCOTUS ruling that the cake baker was perfectly within his rights to refuse service to a gay couple. So yet again we learn that conservatives want there to be special protections....for THEM. They are so stupid that it boggles the mind they can even walk upright. Hey dipshits, these are YOUR tactics. We're just using them against you, and so now you bitch about it like the little snowflakes you all are. The key difference here is that the bigoted baker only refused service because he is a hateful bigot. The restaurant that denied the pig woman did so because the pig woman is a fucking evil cunt who day in, day out goes up there and lies and lies and lies, and regurgitates Trump propaganda, and attacks the free press (who NEVER fight back ...

If you think the Twins can still contend this year then you need most, if not all, of these things to happen: 1. Santana not only returns but is near the level he was last year 2. Either Romero quickly gets over his growing pains or Odorizzi figures it out, so you still have a functional 5 man rotation. 3. Reed and Pressly regain their April form. 4. Sano gets it together and can be a dangerous big league bat again. 5. See 4 but replace Sano with Buxton. 6. Polanco returns and is at least close to what he was in August and September last year. 7. Dozier has a hot 2nd half on par with previous seasons. 8. Logan Morrison starts to earn his money. 9. Max Kepler figures it out. 10. You get SOMETHING from your catchers. 11. The Indians at no point get hot. 12. You have no more significant injuries or prolonged slumps by your players who HAVE produced this year. AND all those players keep performing near the level they have been. Simple.

I'm guilty as anyone of overrating Jurassic World. I mean, it's not BAD. But I was so glad to just have one of this franchise's sequels not be atrocious that I was a little too high on it. Well, now we have TWO sequels in the series that are not atrocious. Fallen Kingdom is not BAD. Well, it's also not that good either. Frankly, it would largely register as one of the most forgettable blockbusters in many a summer if not for its almost unprecedented commitment to plagiarizing its own predecessors. It's kind of two totally different films stitched together. The first, the one showcased in the trailers, involves Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard, along with a couple other people, heading back to the island to save the dinosaurs from dying from a volcanic eruption. The 2nd half of the film is much more of a horror-ish film, with a creepy mansion and dinosaurs creeping around(which would seem unlikely since they are, y'know, dinosaurs). I greatly preferred the ...

No, I don't care if every Republican in this crumbling country is shoved into a fucking meat grinder and fed to the fucking hounds.

Orange Hitler could literally execute all those immigrant kids and the Trump cult and the circle jerkers would support it  And oh how I wish the media would stop doing feature stories on how all the little inbred Trump supporting trash are feeling about this issue (or any other for that matter). These subhuman vermin do not deserve to have their ignorant trash opinions heard at all, let alone broadcast to the world.

Twins game #3 for me this year, my annual Red Sox game, sure ended in a different place than I thought it was going to after 5 innings. I picked this game for the elite Berrios v Sale matchup, and I got what I paid for. This was an outstanding pitchers duel, and in fact I was convinced halfway through that Chris Sale was going to throw the 1st ever Target Field no-hitter and knock the top thing of my baseball bucket list off. I was actually bummed when Adrianza broke it up with an infield single. But I got a damn good consolation prize. The Twins finally broke through against Sale with Eduardo Escobar hitting a rare double for a 2-1 lead. Berrios was again denied a win, as this time The Duke Of Blown Leads gave it up. As usual Molitor showed a quick hook with his best starter. But in the bottom of the 8th the Twins kicked around the Sawx pen for 4 runs. First another massive hit for Escobar, and a misplay in the outfield for 2 runs. Then a rare bit of old school Grossmania, a triple...

Immigrant children should be set free, and all the CONSERVATIVES should be rounded up and put in cages.

The latest target of the angry meninist fanboy rage, the all-female Ocean's 8 is...fine. It's not as good as the 1st Clooney/Pitt movie, but it's quite a bit better than the forgettable sequels. Sandra Bullock (aging like fine wine) is top billed, but the standouts for me are Anne Hathaway's send up of her own diva image and Helena Bonham Carter deploying her kooky charms in something other than a Tim Burton movie for once. The movie has a couple cameos from the Clooney trilogy, and it seems like they want to set up something where this cast and the old cast hook up in a future film. Not sure we need that, but I wouldn't object to it either.

I'd rather be executed, thanks. Oh, cause that's what happens to people in North Korea who don't worship KJU. But hey, the MAGA crowd and the circle jerkers want a dictatorship.

Miguel Sano, 2017 All Star, the slugger who was supposed to become our Miguel Cabrera and anchor our lineup for the next decade......demoted to class A. As falls from grace in the history of Minnesota sports go, I'm not sure one has ever been so fast. Perhaps only Daunte Culpepper, who went from near MVP to former Viking in about a year. But there was a major injury involved there. Sano has been hurt too, but this fall has been more due to what's between the ears. Miguel Sano could be one of the biggest stars in the game. But the dangerous slugger who had unusually slick plate discipline in 2015 (which has regressed year after year) now no longer even slugs. Sure, pitchers adjusted, but they aren't making this guy swing at EVERYTHING, and poorly. He has become as easy an out as there is in baseball. Unless he is served a big fat meatball over the plate he's hopeless. And either the Twins coaches have just done nothing to correct this, or Sano himself hasn't grasp...

1. He lets Addison Reed pitch in a 1 run game, despite Reed being atrocious for weeks. 2. He leaves Reed in after giving up a 1 out single. 3. He leaves Reed in after giving up ANOTHER single, putting the tying run at 2nd. 4. He leaves Reed in after giving up a 3rd straight hit that ties the game. 5. He leaves Reed in after giving up yet another hit that gave Detroit a lead. 6. He only finally, mercifully removes Reed after he gives up his FIFTH hit of the inning, which combined with a throwing air scores 2 more runs. 7. Oh, and all of this wasted.a fucking fantastic start by Jose Berrios, who deserved SO MUCH better. FIRE PAUL MOLITOR INTO THE FUCKING SUN!

(A little copy and paste) How "unprecedented" is an agreement by North Korea to end its nuclear program and cease hostilities? 1985: North Korea signs Nuclear NonProliferation Treaty 1992: North Korea signs historic agreement to halt nuclear program! (#1) 1994: North Korea signs historic agreement to halt nuclear program! (#2) 1999: North Korea signs historic agreement to end missile tests 2000: North Korea signs historic agreement to reunify Korea! Nobel Peace Prize is awarded 2005: North Korea declares support for "denuclearization" of Korean peninsula 2005: North Korea signs historic agreement to halt nuclear program and "denuclearize"! (#3) 2006: North Korea declares support for "denuclearization" of Korean peninsula 2006: North Korea again support for "denuclearization" of Korean peninsula 2007: North Korea signs historic agreement to halt nuclear program! (#4) 2007: N&S Korea sign agreement on reunification 2010:...

Way to go, you orange dipshit. You predictably accomplished nothing good. Kim Jong Un played you, and didn't have to break a sweat to do it. South Korea thrown under the bus. Another ally treated like shit by this psychopath. A brutal dictator praised as a great guy on the world stage, with photos to match. Empty, vague words about denuclearization that mean nothing and will not be held as a mandate. The only world leaders this cocksucker Trump likes are.dictators. He treats literally every ally like they are a villain. No. Trump is the villain. We are led by an enemy of the world, and there is nothing we can do about it. We need help from the outside world. But such help will not come.

....with a camera. Y'know, taking pictures and stuff.

Adrift I liked quite a bit. Man vs nature films like this are generally pretty reliable stuff. The same director made the excellent Everest a few years ago. Shailene Woodley is fantastic as always. Upgrade is a tight, cool, grungy sci-fi action flick, like something out of the 80s (it's very Robocop-y). I guess it was only made for like $5 million which is insane. Hereditary is this year's heavily hyped horror movie that left me stumped. Seems like there's about 1 every year. It had a couple tense moments and a very good performance by Toni Collette, but I was largely bored and the ending in particular jumped the shark big time.

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Fucking idiot.

Well, the Capitals won the cup. Their 1st ever. 1st title since January 1992 for the DC market in the main 4 leagues. Down goes one more title drought/curse. We are in the era of such occurrences. Starting back in 2004 with the Red Sox we've seen a very consistent string of these. The Red Sox hadn't won since 1918. Then they did it, with 2 more titles to follow. The White Sox won the very next year, their 1st since 1917. The Phillies won in 2008. They hadn't won it all for nearly 30 years. The Giants got THREE, after not winning one since they were still at the Polo Grounds. The Royals won in 2015. It had been 30 years for the KC market. The Cubs broke the mother of all curses in 2016. And the reigning champs are the Astros, who hadn't ever won one in nearly 60 years of existence. Over in the NBA, the Warriors had gone title-free for 40 years until they got to the top again. Also in this decade the Mavericks won their 1st ever title, and Lebron got Cleveland th...

It's only Monday and already we got..... 1. Orange Hitler quite explicitly declaring himself above the law, that he can pardon himself.....for crimes he continues to laughably claim he didn't commit. Sadly he IS above the law if nobody does anything about this fucker. 2. SCOTUS ruling that discriminating against gays for religious reasons is okay. Cool. So if people refuse to serve MAGA morons they can say it was for religious reasons and that's allowed now. 3. The chickenshit right demanding Bill Clinton apologize to Monica Lewinsky. Sure thing. Right after Trump apologizes for raping multiple women, and groping countless others. 4. Trump dis-inviting the Eagles from the White House cause a few of them disagreed with him about the national anthem. This fat fuck now has me siding with the team that beat my guys 38-7 in the NFC title game. It's only Monday!

My 2nd in-person Twins game of the year turned out to be the kind of game that if-still a big if-the Twins are able to salvage the season, will be looked back on as one of the turning points. Naturally it wasn't easy, as things never are with this team. Kyle Gibson is dealing into the 6th, with only an Encarnacion bomb on the board, He walks a guy in the 6th around 2 easy outs. And here comes Molitor, who can always be counted on to make baffling decisions regarding when and when not to take pitchers out which always backfire. In comes Ryan Pressly, who issues one of those unintentional intentional walks to Jose Ramirez....to bring up the same Encarnacion. Um, okay, why do that at all, and why bring a reliever in to do it? And then Encarnacion hits one to Duluth and Cleveland takes the lead. I pretty much wanted Molitor fired at this point. But in the 7th, at last Brian Dozier hits a homerun that mattered to tie the game, and to get into that Cleveland bullpen. Eddie Rosario imme...

This is like 38-7 in the NFC title game only far more baffling.

Just a godawful waste of time. I was never a big fan of Jackass, or any of that early 2000s dudebro humor, but the premise here involving a safety-free amusement park seemed quite perfectly matched to Johnny Knoxville's act. How wrong I was. Absolutely NOTHING in this "film" (it's barely a film at all, clocking in at 80 minutes including outtakes) works at all. There is not a single laugh to be had, and you can feel the desperation in every scene. Everyone involved clearly knew they were in a hopeless situation. Knoxville himself looks alarmingly haggard. None of the stunts and physical gags here are funny. All of the bigger ones were in the trailer, and none elicit so much as a chuckle. They aren't carried off with any of the sort of prankster energy of Jackass, and in this case they are there as part of an actual story that is a thundering bore. The "plot" is just a useless thing involving Knoxville bonding with his daughter, and there are a few sc...