The Skolney Blog

1991: Okay, let's get into it. Hudson Hawk was one of the most notorious bombs of its era. It may have even been the first big bomb that I was aware of being a bomb. It was considered a big vanity project for Bruce Willis, who at the time was easily one of the 5 biggest stars in the world. But it's GOOD, damn it! And the years only treat it better, as I get further away from this kind of Willis movie. Willis is a smug wisecracker in this movie, but that's his wheelhouse. All the best Willis action flicks have him in some variation on this persona. The plot of this thing is a complete mess to be sure. I've never really understood it, but I feel like that's at least somewhat by design. The movie will occasionally just have things occur and just never explain how it happened. But it's all done with a wink. I've always felt that comedy can go a long way to smoothing things over in movies like this. I mean, Willis and Danny Aiello literally sing songs...

The sequel to one of the best horror movies of all time, A Quiet Place Part 2 was originally going to open on March 20th...2020. It was delayed less than 2 weeks before that date, which was itself just days after the major shutdowns began. Move ahead 14 months and it is now the big summer movie season kickoff. It's a one year throwback to the days when Memorial Day Weekend was always the weekend when the first big summer movie came out. Not since 1994 has a big movie not been released in May until the holiday.  Part 2 opens with a flashback to day 1 of the monster invasion. A nice fun day at a little league ballgame turns apocalyptic. I honestly could have gone for a whole movie of just this day. It's one of the best ten minutes of any movie in years, packed for maximum dread and completely riveting. Then the movie jumps forward to literally right after part 1 ended, where Emily Blunt and her kids have just found out a way to defeat the monsters. They all set out to locate the ...

Well, MAY movies and we didn't get any in May last year.  WRATH OF MAN Jason Statham and Guy Ritchie team up for this badass action flick. Ritchie is on a real roll lately (I even liked his Aladdin way more than I expected to). Statham can do this in his sleep, but even almost 20 years into his action career he never feels like he is checked out. The plot is maybe a bit too overly complicated (I still have no idea what the Andy Garcia character was about), but the action is good and legitimately brutal.  SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW Not a Saw franchise fan. Only even sort of liked the very first one. But I was very intrigued by the involvement of Chris Rock and Samuel L. Jackson. I figured their presence meant a fresher entry. Eh, I guess. This thing really doesn't offer anything new. We get gross traps (the first one was especially nasty). We get a big twist that's not surprising. Rock CAN act, but here his approach to serious acting is to just squint a lot. Jackson is rea...

Twins 7 Orioles 4 My longest gap without attending a sporting event in over 20 years ended Tuesday night, as I made my long awaited return to Target Field. No, I did not cry. That might happen when I return to the purple palace. Thankfully, the woeful Twins have started to be a little less woeful the last week. They've won some games. They've scored without always needing homeruns. Yeah they're still well under .500 and buried in the standings, but at least on a game by game basis they are starting to look like a representative baseball team. And they did again on Tuesday. Yeah the O's took the early lead, thanks to a terrible error by Andrelton Simmons. But the Twins answered right back, with a 4 run inning begun by a massive Polanco bomb, and including a pair of runs scored on wild pitches. Jose Berrios wasn't real sharp, but he never gave up the lead. A Donaldson sac fly and Kirilloff double padded the lead.  We did have to deal with another chapter of Alex Colom...

I've seen some shit in my many years as a Minnesota sports fan. Some ups, a lot of downs. Some surprises, a lot of disappointments. But I don't know that I have ever seen anything so unexpectedly, inexplicably awful as the 2021 Minnesota Twins.  How did this happen? I detached myself emotionally from this franchise after last season's playoff humiliation. But I still had no doubt that the Twins would be in contention for a 3rd straight division title. I thought most of their offseason moves were sound. They returned a seemingly good roster on top of that.  So what the everlasting fuck happened? As of the moment I hit publish on this post, the Twins sit at 14-27. Last place. Tied with Colorado for the worst win % in all of baseball. A ghastly 9-25 since that 5-2 start. One series win since early April. Only a couple timely Sano homeruns from being on a 10 game losing streak.  It defies all logic and reason. All aspects of the franchise take blame. Remember the Bomba Squad?...

RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON I'm not usually into animated adventure movies, but I thought this was pretty good. The story was solid, the characters were fun and interesting. Great animation. You could do a lot worse for sure.  WILLY'S WONDERLAND A little disappointing. I expected a camp classic, with Nic Cage battling some animatronic demons. But it's never THAT fun. Cage literally has no dialogue. I get that in itself is part of the joke, but come on. Anyone could have played the role then.  FRENCH EXIT Lousy movie, easily the worst I have seen in theaters since COVID began. It's like a really bad Woody Allen ripoff. Not funny, not smart, nothing of value to say.  Michelle Pfeiffer is not terrible, but this movie is full of irritating supporting characters who for some inexplicable reason all wind up sharing the same apartment by the end.  MORTAL KOMBAT Never saw the original movies. I thought this reboot was fine for what it is. Plot isn't good and much of the dialog...

The disastrous 2021 Minnesota Twins have a plethora of problems. Almost every facet of this team has failed to live up to expectations. Not all of these things can be fixed quickly, or maybe at all this year. But one issue can be solved very quickly. Get rid of Miguel Sano.  We have waited for years for Sano to be that complete slugger he teased us with as a rookie. In 2019 he was a strikeout machine but at least he mashed at a career high level. It was a worthy tradeoff. Sano is a microcosm for the Twins as a whole. There is no plan B if the ball isn't flying over the fence at a high rate. Sano missed some time on the IL, although that was more of a "we need to stash a bad hitter somewhere" than a "this guy is genuinely hurt" situation. Now since he has returned it's been more of the same. Easy strikeouts, feeble swings, no power. He is not this lineup's only problem, but he is the quickest fix. Bench him, trade him, release him. Granted, there may neve...

Perhaps never before in the Rick Spielman era had the Vikings entered the draft with a more clear cut mission of what they HAD to do. They needed to beef up an offensive line that just cannot get it together. And on that front, this draft was a homerun. On day 1, Rick ignored the whiny Vikings fans screaming for him to trade up for literally every player not named Lawrence or Wilson. In fact he never traded up at all. Instead he traded back with the Jets from 14 to 23 and still got the big beast LT we needed. Christian Darrisaw will immediately begin protecting Kirk's blindside. He sounds like a perfect scheme fit too.  On day 2, he again held serve and did not trade up. They had 4 3rd round picks after the Jets trade and he used every one. Just in an unexpected order.  First he shocked most of us by drafting Kellen Mond, a Texas A&M QB. It was not that big a shock that a QB would be picked in this draft, but not with their 2nd pick. On the night I hated this pick. I still...