The Skolney Blog

1981: So, the Indiana Jones franchise is probably one of the only big film franchises of my lifetime that I just have never been that into. For whatever reason they just have never clicked with me. I was too young to have seen the first couple in theaters, and even though the summer of 1989 was the first time I recall being really aware of current movies (I used to love pouring over the newspaper ads), Last Crusade never interested me. I did see the much maligned Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in theaters, and thought it was...fine, although it got this reputation as the worst thing ever (i.e. the South Park episode about it). But AMC has been running these "film faves" lately, and had a Raiders of the Lost Ark screening, and there wasn't much out in theaters as of early June, so I figured I'd give it another shot.  And now after seeing the very first Indy movie in theaters, I think it is...fine.  Look, I'm sorry, I appreciate how impeccably well crafted...

New: CRUELLA  I liked this more than Maleficent. It doesn't need to be over 2 hours long, and the soundtrack is kind of annoying. But it's a lot of stylish fun, and Emma Stone really rips into the role. Emma Thompson pretty much does a Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada ripoff. They've already announced they're doing a sequel, and that's cool. I wouldn't mind another.  THE HITMAN'S WIFE'S BODYGUARD  Remember The Hitman's Bodyguard? Of course you don't. Nobody does. I didn't even though I for sure saw it. Rewatching it I could see why. It's one of the most generically average action comedies maybe of all time. But apparently it made just enough of a return on investment to get a sequel made, so here we are. And this sequel is really one of the turkeys of the year so far. Again it's hopelessly generic. Again it's not funny. But this time it's just loud and obnoxious and off-puttingly cruel at times. Everybody dials it up here...

Yes they go into space. I've been fully on board with this sort of second era of this franchise. The first 4 movies operate in almost an entirely different universe than they have since Fast Five re-molded the franchise into the behemoth that it has become. My favorite in the series will forever remain the very first one. But I have loved 5-8 as well. I think these are some of the best action movies of this century. And I don't like these movies ironically as some seem to. I think they are genuinely good movies even as far as the story goes. I liked F9 too, but not nearly as much as 5-8 and think that for the first time this franchise has become a little TOO much. Too much what? Everything. F9 is an exhausting movie to sit through. This movie has SO many characters and SO much plot and SO many locations and SO many set pieces that it has to fly by at such a frenetic place that you are exhausted just trying to keep track of everything. In this case, less really would hav...

Britney Spears finally got to tell the world what life under her conservatorship is like on Wednesday, calling into a court hearing and reading a roughly 20 minute statement. And it confirmed that the #FreeBritney movement was right. Since #FreeBritney blew up, I'm not sure it has been taken all that seriously outside of the Britney fans. And of course her dad Jamie dismissed the whole thing as nothing but a bunch of ignorant fans making up conspiracy theories. Britney's statement validated almost every one of these so-called conspiracies. This conservatorship has always been a sham. It began under false, illegal pretenses, continued as such, and still remains in place solely as a means by which a collection of leeches can keep getting paid BY Britney to take away Britney's rights. Britney has now confirmed to the world that she has been abused, she has been threatened, she has been drugged, she has been forced into doing work under penalty of not being able to se...

Reds 10 Twins 7 We were so close. So very close. The Twins mustered up the most exciting inning of this whole season today, only to have the results of it immediately nullified by yet another bullpen implosion.   For the first 7 innings there was little to indicate there would be anything particularly memorable about this game, aside from it being my 1st time seeing the Reds play in person since the great '06 trip.  Bailey Ober started, and he did alright for a while. He did give up a homerun to the #9 hitter, but Ryan Jeffers hit a two run shot to give the Twins a 2-1 lead. Then it kind of fell apart in the 5th. Kepler failed to make an admittedly tough play against the wall, allowing the go ahead runs to score. Duffey came in and in typical Twins bullpen fashion allowed an inherited runner to score. It would have been two, but Larnach made a great throw home to nail the trailing runner. Nothing else happened until the 8th, when we had to suffer through some more Ale...

I've heard this narrative since basically the day Kirk signed in March 2018.  "Kirk is getting paid so much money that it is going to ruin the Vikings ability to sign and retain other players" This was false in 2018. It has been decisively proven false over and over since, up through this week when the Vikings worked things out with Danielle Hunter and signed Sheldon Richardson. And still the liars, the debunked narrative pushers, the Kirk Cousins Derangement Syndrome patients, they persist.  GIVE IT UP, ASSHOLES! YOU LOST! I've never seen anything like it in 30+ years as a Minnesota sports fan. These assholes simply will not let it go. We are in the 4th offseason of the Cousins era. In that time the Vikings have NEVER had to let go of a player that they were truly determined to keep. That's just a fact. Oh sure, people insist that last year all those defensive players were let go because of Kirk. Nope. They were let go because they were all either vastly declined...

Astros 14 Twins 3 Twins game #2 for me was played on one of those days we all dreamed about when Target Field was announced. Hot but not humid, breezy, bluest of blue skies. A literally perfect day for a ballgame. But then they actually played a game. This was never a game the Twins were going to win, most likely. The bats were sleepy. Nelson Cruz and Ryan Jeffers hit solo homeruns, because the Twins almost never get homeruns with men on base. That was the extent of the highlights. Michael Pineda pitched 4 innings, but had to leave due to forearm soreness or a weak arm or whatever else they came up with. Because of course along with everything else that has gone wrong this season, our most tradeable pitcher now has to have injury problems. But down 3-0 after 4, Rocco Baldelli waved the white flag and began trotting out the 3 pitchers most responsible for this now 26-39 season. First came Randy Dobnak. Dobnak was a neat little story in 2019. He saved the Twins asses (ironically after th...

Is EVERY big movie delayed from 2020 to 2021 great? Is this just going to be a thing?  In The Heights is the big new musical based off a Lin Manuel Miranda show that he did before he really got big. It's set in a largely Dominican neighborhood in NYC during mostly a few hot summer days. It's like Do The Right Thing, except they're all Latin and they all get along. And there's music. Musicals have been back for about 20 years now. Many have been okay, but I've only REALLY liked a few of them. I'll go to bat for Les Miserables, Sweeney Todd,  and Rent. Rent is a fucking masterpiece and I will fight you on that.  In The Heights is as good as any of those. Maybe better. There is genuine bonafide movie magic on display here, particularly in the first half of the movie that is just one dazzler after another. The main lead is Anthony Ramos, and Ramos is just a charisma machine in this. He will be a big star. But he's not alone. His love interest is the stunning Mel...