April movie reviews

In theaters:

IN THE LAND OF SAINTS AND SINNERS

Nothing earth-shattering, but this is the first genuinely good Liam Neeson film in a while. This one is made with some actual craftsmanship, Neeson (rock solid as ever) gets to be Irish, and Kerry Condon really goes for it as the main villain. Some generic story beats, but when we get a good Neeson flick we must appreciate it. 

MONKEY MAN

Dev Patel's ambitious stab at full-fledged action stardom. It gets a little too deep into its own mythology and cultural politics, but when the action hits it delivers the goods. 

ARTHUR THE KING

Mostly a time-passing trifle with Mark Wahlberg as an adventure racer (kind of like a triathlon) whose team encounters a scruffy little street dog during a competition. It's a decent enough watch, but then takes a fully tearjerker turn in the last 20 minutes that got me a couple times. Hey, you're showing a little dog suffering and I'm not totally heartless. 

CIVIL WAR

This film promised to really be something. The biggest budget film A24 has ever done, helmed by the often excellent Alex Garland, with about as juicy a premise as you can have in this moment, about a modern day civil war in the USA. But the film is almost shamefully apolitical. The words "democrat" and "republican" are never uttered. No actual issues that could have caused this war are ever talked about. They even have the so-called "western force" that is going after the president be comprised of blue California and red Texas, further blurring the lines. None of the characters (all photo journalists) talk about anything political. How gutless. I'm sorry, but take a stand. (Even the MCU Civil War had characters take stands on actual issues) In real life, only 1 party is talking about civil war, or attacked the capitol. This isn't even both sides-ism. This is NO sides-ism, and it destroys any chance the film had of being memorable. 

What keeps it watchable is that, while it is thematically empty, it does have some very visceral and immersive battle sequences, and some vivid sound work. But I wanted so much more. 

THE ABSENCE OF EDEN

A drama starring Zoe Saldana, dealing with immigration through a pair of eventually intersecting storylines. The performances are fine, but the film is very thin and feels like a short film that is expanded to feature length just by being dreadfully slow. 

ABIGAIL

Yeah, they should not have spoiled the reveal in all the marketing. Still, this is a pretty good time, with some fun splatter effects, a few yuks, and a good cast led by the endlessly fantastic Melissa Barrera (who somehow looks hotter the more blood they dump on her). 

THE MINISTRY OF UNGENTLEMANLY WARFARE

Guy Ritchie continues to crank em out, this his 5th film to hit US theaters in the decade already. This is loosely based on a secret group that helped Britain fight the Nazis. It's okay. Plot gets complicated, but it has some solid action and Eiza Gonzalez gets to glam it up. 

CHALLENGERS

This one arrived with a lot of buzz, and I think it is somewhat unfounded. I don't think it's bad. Zendaya is on fire here. It almost makes tennis interesting. It has a lot of energy. But at least 2 of the 3 leads are loathsome characters to the detriment of the film. And there a few annoyingly showy directorial choices (excessive slo-mo, drowning out dialogue with music) that drove me nuts. 

BOY KILLS WORLD

I think we've reached the point of diminishing returns on these wild, violent one man fighting everybody action movies. This one has Bill Skarsgard on a revenge quest against the people who killed his family. The hook here is that he is deaf and mute, but he has an inner monologue voiced by H. Jon Benjamin, whose inimitable line readings can't not be amusing. Aside from that, the movie has a ton of weird energy but here it feels like it's hyped up to mask a dull story and lack of characters. 

Everything else:

CLERK

A documentary about Kevin Smith's career is an easy sell to me. Covers a fair amount of things I already knew, and yeah it slips into borderline deification mode a little, but I enjoyed this a lot. But no, it still didn't convince me that Tusk wasn't a complete piece of shit.  

FEAR THE NIGHT

Maggie Q goes to a bachelorette party at a secluded house, that ends up being besieged by criminals. The supporting cast is really bad, but Maggie Q gets to be a hot badass and kill bad guys so the movie at least delivers some sporadic fun. 

WHITE NOISE

From director Noah Baumbach, this breaks from his usual style to be more surrealist, with Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig starring as a couple in the 80s. The film reminded me of Beau Is Afraid in how it starts out with a ton of weird comedic momentum and then slowly petered out. Fantastic end credits. 

THE TILLMAN STORY

20 years ago, former NFL player Pat Tillman died in combat, and the Bush govt lied to cover up that it was friendly fire. This doc is pretty standard stuff, but explains the situation well, and gives a little backstory to Tillman's life.  

STEALING PARADISE 

Watched this one off Tubi cause it had Rachael Leigh Cook. And she's in her bra in the first 10 minutes, so okay, we're off to a good start. Then it becomes a supremely hackneyed murder melodrama. Turns out it was originally a Lifetime movie. 

THE UNFORGIVABLE

Sandra Bullock gets out of prison and tries to restart her life. Has there ever been a movie that shows getting out of prison as a good thing? It always looks like hell. I did really like Bullock's fully serious performance. There's a strong supporting cast. There's also a very goofy 3rd act thriller turn that feels very out of place. 

REBEL MOON PART TWO: THE SCARGIVER

Please stop. The 2nd part of this bloated Netflix movie from Zack Snyder is maybe a tick better than part 1 just because the setup is out of the way. It's still a fucking bore though, and has the audacity to sequel bait a part 3. 

LITTLE FISH

A real find. The wonderful Olivia Cooke is half of a couple dealing with a virus outbreak that strips people of their memories. The film is completely engrossing and at times unbearably sad. Reminded me of Eternal Sunshine a bit. And if I wasn't already completely swooning over Cooke, this movie would have done it. She is sublime. 

MR. AND MRS. SMITH

Not sure why I had never watched this. I recall thinking it didn't look that good at the time. I think I was kind of sick of Angelina Jolie then, but she kind of takes this movie from Brad Pitt. I wasn't all that into this flick, competently made as it is, except for that big Pitt-Jolie throwdown in the middle of the movie. And they do have some fun chemistry moments.