December movie reviews

In theaters:

Y2K

Kind of disappointed in this comedy directed by SNL alum Kyle Mooney. Set at New Year's Eve 1999, when the Y2K bug actually happens, turning all electronic devices into bloodthirsty killing machines. Before the shit goes down, it's a pretty run of the mill teen comedy where the nerdy guy pines for the pretty girl (Rachel Zegler, one of the prettiest, no doubt). The energy perks up when the action does, although at no point was I ever more than just kind of amused. I'm a real target audience for this, since man do I have endless nostalgia for this time period, and early on, the film is drenched in references and needle drops. It has moments of inspired silliness, and the cast is likable. It also has a 3rd act cameo from one of the biggest douchebags in music history, which for some reason takes over the film. 

VENOM: THE LAST DANCE

Oh please do be the last one. For some reason, the first 2 Venoms, despite not being above deeply mediocre, were massive hits. This one is set up to be the last one, and it's certainly the least, hopping around from scene to scene with no real interest in having a plot or anything interesting. As usual, the only entertaining moments involve Eddie and Venom interacting. But then we have this whole side plot involving the military and scientists and Area 51 because sure, and good lord why is Chiwetel Ejiofor in this? 

NIGHTBITCH

Amy Adams has kind of been on a bad run of late, with some failed Oscar bait and lame streaming stuff. I wouldn't say this film gets her back on track, but it's certainly something different. She's a stay at home mom who starts turning into a wolf. Okay. It's weird, but never gets crazy enough to become truly memorable. If only it had half the gonzo guts of The Substance. 

WICKED PART 1

Wicked has been a monster hit, and I can see why. It's the kind of well produced old school crowdpleaser we don't get a lot of anymore. John Chu made In The Heights (vastly superior to this) so we know he can handle a musical. But the awards buzz is a little baffling. For some reason, Ariana Grande is maybe an Oscar frontrunner for her performance, which is cute and does the job, but it is hardly the stuff of award statues. More worthy is Cynthia Erivo, bringing the film some gravitas and belting out her songs. I strongly suspect part 2 will be the superior film. 

KRAVEN THE HUNTER

I was hugely impressed by this latest Sony Marvel entry. You have a cool character, a good cast, and a very good director in JC Chandor. And they all managed to spit out the worst fucking turd of a comic book film that I have maybe ever seen. Yes, this may have been worse than Morbius. It is thuddingly dull, barely even featuring any action for at least an hour. But in its place we at least get some of the worst dialogue ever, and some awful performances. I am genuinely fascinated by Ariana DeBose in this. She seems to almost be CGI'd into scenes, with her lines dubbed. I don't know what is happening there. The overall fx are woeful, and the film keeps throwing new bad guys into the fray that are all horribly realized. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is game in this, and a few moments of him displaying his powers approach being entertaining, but this is just a failure of a movie and one of the worst of 2024. 

A COMPLETE UNKNOWN

I'm sorry. I'm a bad Minnesotan. I'm not a big Bob Dylan person. But that helps for watching this biopic since I don't know his story that much. I think this film is pretty fresh by music biopic standards. It hits a few of the familiar beats, but sticks to a shorter timeframe. Timothee Chalamet is really good and immersive as Dylan. And Monica Barbaro is a dynamo as Joan Baez. The scenes with the two of them are the film's best. 

NOSFERATU

Robert Eggers seemed to be a perfect match for doing a remake of Nosferatu. His films are all spooky and harsh and often in black and white. And yeah, this is good. It is a real masterpiece of style and mood. The film looks amazing. It doesn't really do anything new with the material, and does have pacing issues. Fantastic performance by Lily-Rose Depp that should be getting a lot of awards buzz. 

Everything else:

KILLER HEAT

A deeply dull noir with Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who did this far better years ago in Brick) as the boring detective and Shailene Woodley as the boring femme fatale. I've seen few films go through the motions as listlessly as this does. 

SPEAK NO EVIL

One married couple decides to spend a vacation at the country home of another couple, and things get creepy and weird and eventually violent. James McAvoy's performance is the highlight and the thing that carries you through, even as the film forgoes its early tension and climaxes with some pretty generic thriller tropes. 

CANARY BLACK

Another one of those generic spy thrillers from a streamer, in this case Amazon, but this one is a little bit better version. Kate Beckinsale, still gorgeous despite all the unnecessary plastic surgery, can still do the action star thing. 

SUPER/MAN: THE CHRISTOPHER REEVE STORY

Terrific documentary about the life and career of Reeve. Split pretty evenly with his life before and after his paralysis, I appreciated how it didn't try to make it seem like he was always a trooper with what happened to him. But he made something out of it. 

DRUGSTORE JUNE 

I haven't seen Esther Povitsky do anything but give the same performance in every project I've seen her in. But I happen to love what she does. Her line deliveries are always funny, and they are again in this movie where she's a self-absorbed woman taking it upon herself to investigate the robbery at the pharmacy she works at. 

EMILIA PEREZ

Considered to be Netflix's big Oscar bait film this year, this one surely wins points for audacity. It's about a cartel leader who transitions into a woman, and oh it's also a musical. It's a tonal mess, but has great parts every so often. Zoe Saldana is considered a big time awards contender and she is indeed great, but don't sleep on Selena Gomez, who also delivers a pretty great performance. 

THE PIANO LESSON

Another Netflix movie going for awards, this is an August Wilson adaptation (like Denzel Washington's Fences). Denzel's son Malcolm directs, and other son John David plays one of the leads in a superb ensemble that also includes the amazing Danielle Deadwyler and an always welcome serious part for Samuel L Jackson. 

CARRY-ON

A pretty solid thriller involving a terrorist (a solidly against type Jason Bateman) trying to force a TSA worker (Taron Edgerton, who runs weird) to let a dangerous package onto a plane. It's kind of like Phone Booth, where the bad guy is omnipresent and a psychic. That gets a little tedious, and no thriller with a ticking clock and set in one location should near two hours. But it's the kind of modest thriller I miss. 

WOMAN OF THE HOUR

Really interesting directing debut for Anna Kendrick, who also stars and is her usual perky self. But the story is darker, about a serial killer in the 70s who appeared on The Dating Game. The scenes showing the killer (Daniel Zovatto, really slimy) with some of his victims are really well done.