The Skolney Blog

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil I thought the first one was just okay. I think this sequel is just okay...but maybe a tad better than the first due to a pretty well done 3rd act battle. I really don't like Angelina Jolie, but she's very good in this particular role. It's too bad she's so often off screen in favor of a batch of largely dull supporting characters.  The Addams Family There are worse ideas than taking this property and making it animated. But this thing is really bland and short on laughs. I liked the style of the animation, and the voice cast is strong, but I was pretty bored.  Judy Renee Zellweger might as well have just held up a sign in every scene that read "Please give me an Oscar." Her portrayal of Judy Garland is such transparent Oscar bait that it kind of wrecks the whole film. It just felt very fake to me.  Black and Blue Not a bad dirty cop thriller. These are almost always at least pretty good. Probably could have maintained the suspense ...

I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of Houston sports like I do with Minnesota,  but this has to be right there with the worst moments they have ever had.  This game wasn't over, but it was in control. Zack Greinke had given up a homerun(to one of the best hitters in baseball) but he was pitching the game of his life....and his manager pulls him. And pulls him not even to go to Gerrit Cole. And in seconds the Nationals take a lead they never gave back. AJ Hinch's actions in those later innings are a fireable offense. He will never live that down. Brian Dozier, Kurt Suzuki and Fernando Rodney get rings. Especially cool for Rodney to get one after such a long career. And so, yet again, a franchise in one of the 4 majors gets their first title. This was the last title won within the 2010s decade. 11 teams won their first titles(Nationals, Astros, Saints, Seahawks, Eagles, Mavericks, Cavaliers, Raptors, LA Kings, Capitals, Blues), plus a few others broke long droughts(most n...

The first Sunday of the NFL season that was Vikings-free should have been relaxing. But it really wasn't.  We got one positive. In one of the most incompetently played games on both sides I have ever seen, the Chargers beat the Bears when the Bears shanked a fairly short field goal at the gun. Trubisky was awful, yet Matt Nagy stuck with him stubbornly. If he had switched QBs they probably win by 20. This pretty much knocks the Bears from contention. The Lions won, with some more makeup calls from the refs helping(that 1st Lions TD was a forward pass not a lateral, and the Giants were robbed of a late TD on a picked up flag). I didn't expect much if any help for the Vikings today, since most games looked like mismatches in favor of other NFC contenders. And indeed, the Rams, Seahawks and Saints all had pretty easy times with bad opponents. The 49ers destroyed Carolina, which could be either good or bad. The Hatriots had another easy win where both their opponent's unforced ...

Vikings 19 Redskins 9 Alright, we can all relax. For the last few days all you heard was that this Thursday night game against the lowly Redskins was a trap game. That it was going to be just like the Buffalo game last year. I could revisit all the reasons it was never going to be that Buffalo game, but I won't. What it was was a classic Thursday night game. Like most others it was not a particularly good game, or smoothly played. These Thursday games are a poor product, and a poor representation of whatever teams are playing. You get almost no time to practice, and certainly not enough time to physically recover from the previous Sunday. The red hot Vikings offense from the last 3 weeks was a lot more vanilla last night. The biggest change was that an offensive line that made great strides regressed backwards. Pass protection was very poor. They had multiple drive-killing holding penalties. They weren't good.  But...the offense was still very productive, at least in yardage. T...

Vikings 42 Lions 30 For years we have seen great Vikings defenses that have to carry average to sometimes bad Vikings offenses. But to have a high powered machine of an offense that can bail out a struggling defense like this? Well this is something we haven't seen since at least 2009. How is that Bears game just 3 weeks ago?  The Vikings of September have evolved into the Vikings of October, and the Vikings of October demolish you with their relentless air strike offense. And then they suck the life out of you with their dynamic running game. You can't stop them. The newest biggest game of the season wasn't a total must win, but a loss would have kind of reshaped what this season could be. With the refs and an easy schedule, the Packers already have an edge in the north. You couldn't really afford a 3rd division loss, and to fall 2 games back of Green Bay. It would have made a wild card the much more realistic path to the playoffs. The only thing that kind of worried m...

I mean, wow, you couldn't have crafted a much better scenario to rip those god damn trash Yankee fans hearts from their chests. To win game 1 big. To win game 5 to extend the series. To get a game tying home run in the 9th.  Only to have the Astros walk it off. The 2010s has been a fucking awful decade, but god dammit it had precisely ZERO World Series with the Yankees. So it ain't all bad. FUCK THE YANKEES! 

Zombieland: Double Tap There has been a pretty sketchy track record for long in the making sequels lately. For every Anchorman 2(which IS great, you heathens) there seems to be 4 or 5 Bad Santa 2s or Sin City 2s or Independence Day 2s. Thankfully, the long awaited Zombieland sequel is worthy. It's not AS great as the 1st, but it's a good follow-up. The key is the ensemble. It's just a really well put together core. Now of course Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson in particular are great in everything, and when he's not playing Lex Luthor Jesse Eisenberg is usually very good too. If I have a major quibble with the sequel it's that it introduces too many new characters. But how can I be mad when one is played by the deliriously cute and funny Zoey Deutch, who takes her ditzy blonde stereotype character and just knocks it out of the park. The plot is very episodic and meandering, but it was in the original too. Fun gore. Don't wait another 10 years for part 3  Gemini M...

I wouldn't say I had tremendous expectations for this movie. The last Kevin Smith movie I unequivocally liked was Clerks 2 and that was 2006. But I hoped he could conjure up some of the old magic one more time.  He kind of does. I mostly enjoyed Reboot, even as I know it's not much of a movie. It makes Strike Back look like a masterwork of linear storytelling.  It has way more jokes that fall flat than probably all the other Askewuniverse films combined, but I did laugh a lot, even big ones occasionally. Hate to say it but the titular stars are the weak link here. Smith's over the top mugging here is way out of control. There's not a single shot of Silent Bob here where Smith isn't contorting his face to look wacky. It's rarely funny.  And as for Jason Mewes, man, it's mean as hell to say it but he is hard to look at. I know he had major issues with drugs, and man has it aged him, but he is supposed to be a kind of zany and charismatic character and I found ...

Detroit flat out had a win stolen from them tonight, by refs directed by the NFL to do whatever it takes to bail out the Green Bay Packers, particularly at Lambeau, week after week. Even the MNF broadcasters could not contain their anger and frustration this time. Usually anybody with a mic downplays such officiating and just protects the shield. The Packers are going to just be handed the NFC North title, aren't they? Between our week 2 fix job and this shit tonight, the Packers should be 3-3, with the 5-1 Vikings and 3-1-1 Lions well ahead of them. That's a huge swing already that the refs have handed to those assholes.

Joker Feels like this came out months ago considering how much has been said about it. I don't think it's as shocking or disturbing as some do. Yes it's clearly a Taxi Driver homage, but taking that frame and putting The Joker into it really does work amazingly. I was completely into this. Joaquin Phoenix already had a strong claim to the best actor of the moment and that case is made stronger here. Every action or word of every scene gets a little captivating twist by him. This is right up there with Wonder Woman as the best post-Nolan DC movie. Lucy In The Sky I really wish this movie wasn't getting forgotten. The reviews weren't great. It's barely been given a release. It deserves better. Natalie is fantastic here, her best performance since Jackie. I loved everything about her in this. The last act is not quite as good as the first 2. That's about the only thing that I wasn't into. I suppose I could have done without the distracting shifting aspec...

Vikings 38 Eagles 20 Remember 2 weeks ago? When the Vikings season was over? When the Vikings not only needed to move on from Kirk Cousins, but release him immediately? When Stefon Diggs was supposedly done playing here and wanted a trade? All that crap felt like a very distant memory today, as the Vikings not only won, but played their most satisfying game since 2017, as they unleashed the Kirk Beast and bombed the Eagles right out of the stadium. It was truly astounding the aerial assault in the first half. Kirk Cousins threw 3 touchdowns, 2 of them absolute bombs to Diggs, and another on a fade to Thielen. He even narrowly missed 2 others, on a third bomb to Diggs that was just a little too far, and an endzone shot where Thielen made an amazing catch but his arm hit out of bounds just a moment before that 2nd foot got in. Kirk was the best he has ever been in purple. The haters have to be on suicide watch after a game like this. But I'm sure they'll just say the Eagles ...

That overwhelming stench you smell today? That's the stench of fascism, of pure unbridled racism, of mind-blowing ignorance. Sadly, we are going to be the latest city to get ripped off by this criminal. The city will never get one dime from the White House. I find it rather hilarious that this bloated shitbag is coming here at all, that he is actually still under the delusion that he will win Minnesota next year. Minnesota went as overwhelmingly blue as just about any state did during the midterms. Whatever perceived chance he may have had is long gone. His approval continues to plummet, as support for impeachment grows and grows. His chances of retaining many states he "won" in 2016 are fading. The idea that he will pick up any new states, let alone Minnesota, is laughable. I am honored to have the baby blimp in town though.

Yankees 5 Twins 1 It seems fitting that the only way to rank sports seasons in this state is by which postseason collapse was the worst. I truly believed that after the Twins got their 100 wins and the homerun record that I was at peace with the Yankees sweep that I knew was coming. That the season had value anyway. Nah. This sucks. It hurts. It's the worst I have ever felt after a Twins playoff elimination. The 2006 Oakland loss was still more unforgivable, but this was the worst collective performance. With the exception of only a few players, this was a bigger no show than 2010. I feel like I got conned for six months. 7 runs in 3 games. SEVEN FUCKING RUNS! I don't ever want to hear "bomba squad" ever again. Where were they in this series? Other than Polanco, Arraez, and maybe Cruz it was just shitty at bat after shitty at bat. This last game was all about that 2nd inning. Down 1-0 the Twins load the bases. And don't score. And we all knew they wouldn...

Vikings 28 Giants 10 Okay, can everybody calm down a little bit now? After a week that felt like a month, with the latest round of anti-Cousins rage, the podcast apology, and the Diggs drama, the Vikings went out there today and mostly dominated the Giants, for their 3rd convincing win of the season. Everything clicked. The offense was efficient and diversified right from the start. Kirk came out firing and kept it up the whole first half. He had nearly 300 yards by halftime. A lot of that was to Thielen, who had just a monster game. And Dalvin was running strong too. Each fed off the other. Kirk got outside the pocket a lot, and had time to really look downfield. We probably hit more mid-range plays than the first 4 weeks combined. The highlight of the day on offense was the 98 yard drive in the 2nd quarter. Pinned deep by a punt, the Vikes went right down the field, with several big plays, finishing with a perfect lob to Thielen for the touchdown. It was 10-0 and the game was ne...

Yankees 8 Twins 2 Remember Total System Failure? Call this one Total Series Failure. Every single thing the Twins did well this year, every single thing the Twins thought was a strength, has abandoned them through 2 games of a dispiriting, season-ruining ALDS. This game invited long periods of soul-searching since it was fucking OVER so early. Once that dumpster fire of a 3rd inning was punctuated by the Gregorious grand slam off Doofy, the game was over. Randy Dobnak started, and struggled. I don't blame him much. He has a future here, if nothing else as a cheaper, still effective version of Kyle Gibson. And he pitched a few big games for us. But he was way overmatched. He never should have been allowed to load the bases. This was the game that the Pineda suspension really killed them. Now, starting Dobnak over Odorizzi was probably a mistake anyway(although I get the plan of starting the ground ball guy in the little league stadium), but without Pineda's idiocy you neve...

Yankees 10 Twins 4 I went to the viewing party at Target Field tonight, and aside from the cold I'm glad I did. If nothing else it was an interesting social experiment to watch a thousand or so people have all the hope and joy systematically sucked out of them. I myself knew the doom that was about to come. Nothing good the Twins did mattered, because it would never last. Like most of these misery-inducing playoff games since 2003 this one was at points winnable. Polanco and Cruz hit early homeruns. Berrios looked on. I didn't believe, but I could see how the more naive fans would. Then the bottom of the 3rd is when it all started to go to hell. Arraez fails to catch a.pop fly. Not an easy play but it has to be made. A couple batters later the Yankees get on the board. Then a seemingly routine double play ball leads to a bad throw by Arraez that Cron can't field, and which becomes a 2 run play. All year this team has struggled with throws to first. At least the Twins...

It feels like some kind of cruel cosmic joke to have the Twins matched up yet again against the Yankees in the playoffs. Why can we never draw any other team? The 2003 and 2004 series were kind of their own thing. The Twins had Johan Santana, and most of that 2002 core still, but were really overmatched against Yankee teams that still had recent dynasty cred. In 2006 the Twins avoided the Yankees, by one game. Had the Tigers won on the last day of the season, they would have won the division and played the Oakland team that swept us. In 2009 the Twins win game 163, then had all that excitement flushed by a Yankee sweep. And in a final humiliation the last game of the Metrodome was a sweep clinching loss. Maybe 2010.would be different. New ballpark, powerful roster, home field advantage against the Yankees, who we shouldn't have had to play, but since division teams couldn't be matched up in an ALDS then, we got them instead of Tampa. No matter. We choked game 1 then didn...

I would just like to point out, for the record, that the Vikings are 2-2, and have lost a close game on the road that, if you switch one throw, might have been a win, and lost another game in the house of horrors. Hardly the stuff of disasters. But sweet bleepin hell, the state of this fanbase and the media that is paid to cover it is as bad as I have ever seen it. Okay, with Cousins. It is clear that he is a permanent enemy for this fanbase and media. He is just being eviscerated 24/7 by everybody. If you even DARE to post something  even mildly supportive or sympathetic, you get bombarded with the "Kirk is trash" type responses. There is no hope for any rational, reasoned discussion of anything. You can't say ANYTHING anymore. I'm sorry, but as much as I thought Kirk played very poorly in Chicago, NO player deserves this kind of treatment. Antonio Brown was not treated this negatively by his team's fans. It's insane. It's disgusting. Kirk is today wha...