The Skolney Blog

The Gentlemen Guy Ritchie back in fine form. I've never been a huge fan before of his movies. I liked Snatch but that's about it. This is his best though. The plot is a little overly complicated, but it moves fast. Tons of snappy dialogue with some BIG laughs. Ace performances by a terrific cast, including Matthew McConaughey, Colin Farrell and Hugh Grant in hands down the best performance he has had.  The Turning As January horror movies go, this isn't as bad as The Grudge at least. It's still a dull slog, and the last 20 minutes are just stunningly bad. First they pull a complete cheat on the audience, then the movie just ends. You'd swear the studio forgot to include a whole last act of the movie. I sat there incredulous at what I just saw.  The Last Full Measure Curious why a war drama with a prestige cast including Samuel L Jackson, Ed Harris and William Hurt would get a barely marketed January dump. Well, it's cause it's kind of boring, and seemed to h...

The Vikings are choosing their all decade team for the 2010s.  My picks: QB: Kirk Cousins. I gave a thought to Teddy, but Kirk has the far better numbers and won a playoff game. RB: Adrian Peterson and Dalvin Cook. Peterson is a no brainer, and Cook outpaces anything McKinnon or Murray did.  FB: Jerome Felton. Ham has become elite, but Felton blocked for AP's MVP season.  WR: Stefon Diggs, Adam Thielen, Percy Harvin. First 2 are obvious, and despite him being a douchebag Percy was one of the best weapons in the NFL for the 2 1/2 years in the decade he was here. TE: Kyle Rudolph. Duh. OT: Phil Loadholt and Riley Reiff. Loadholt was a beast before he got hurt way too soon. Reiff over Kalil because he doesn't carry the stench of disappointment.  OG: Steve Hutchinson and Joe Berger. Hutch is a HOFer in a few days hopefully. Berger was an invaluable player. He gets a slight nod over Fusco. C: John Sullivan. Easy choice.  DE: Danielle Hunter and Everson Griffen. Hunte...

As I sat there watching the Wolves game tonight, watching them somehow turn a 27 point lead on a night where they hit more 3s than they ever had before, into a blown loss in overtime, my reaction was not anger. It was not frustration. It was not sadness. It wasn't even really laughter.  It was just total, complete apathy.  I haven't been emotionally invested in this franchise since Kevin Garnett was traded in 2007. I used to live and die with this team in the late 90s and early to mid 2000s. But even in the couple post-KG years I had cheap season tickets I mostly just went to games, watched the Wolves get destroyed, and felt bored. And since then my interest has just faded more and more. Kevin Love proved to be a diva asshole and we had to trade him. The Butler-Thibs debacle obliterated any hope for the Towns-Wiggina era to be any different. Oh we got that one playoff series out of it, but now look at where this franchise sits. This season was always being approached as a sort...

Okay, look, I feel sad for his daughter who died too, for the rest of his family, and for all the other people who died in the crash. But I shed no tears for Kobe Bryant. I don't gloat either. I am unmoved.  Kobe Bryant was a rapist, don't forget. He raped a woman, BY HIS OWN ADMISSION, but his legal team harrassed the victim so relentlessly that she stopped the criminal case and settled a civil suit instead. And of course if you're settling on a rape case you are fucking GUILTY. You don't settle on something like that. I'm not at all surprised that the rape case is an afterthought at best since he died. It had basically been ignored for 15+ years already. And I don't expect that to be where the media and fans go.  But beyond that, a whole lot of people are losing their minds over this. I get that Kobe is one of the biggest names in sports in the last 25 years. But people were literally talking about this like it was 9/11. Calling for the Pro Bowl to be cancelle...

Bad Boys For Life Bad Boys 1 is just a peak 90s era action comedy. Bad Boys 2 is just gloriously insane excess from start to finish. This 3rd movie is just kind of okay. Smith and Lawrence still really play well off each other. There are a couple really strong action beats. It has a few fun callbacks to the other movies. But it all feels strangely bland without Michael Bay behind the camera. And it's also by far the darkest and most serious of these movies, including a couple twists that really feel like they are out of a different franchise. I'm glad it's doing so well though. I wouldn't turn down a 4th movie, as long as they ramp the comedy back up. Underwater This is a pretty formulaic monster movie, but it's a good one. I actually think the movie didn't even need to have monsters at all. It works just fine as a claustrophobic thriller. It's cool seeing Kristen Stewart in a movie like this too. Dolittle I really didn't think this was that bad. It has ...

49ers 37 Packers 20 Justice was finally served! In the 2nd to last game of this NFL season, the most fraudulent 13-3 team in NFL history finally got what they deserved. The Packers were thoroughly, decisively pummeled by the 49ers.  They got it worse than the Vikings did. We both lost by 17, but the Packers defense looked even more helpless to stop the run. Garappolo barely had to throw at all.  Wonder who Aaron Rodgers will throw under the bus now? Can't blame Mike McCarthy anymore, you no accountability taking bitch! Rodgers two key mistakes in the 2nd quarter (fumbled snap and a pick) took that game from 17-0 to a hilarious 27-0 by halftime. Sure, Rodgers padded the stats in the 2nd half but the game never got closer than 14 and even that was late.  Enjoy the karma, Packtards. You earned this. Total fucking fraud of a team. From a cupcake schedule (the only quality regular season wins were against us, and 1 of those was blatantly ref-aided), to getting every break imag...

AFC: Almost anytime a high flying offense faces off in a big game against a team built on a strong defense and power running game, the latter team wins. I think it will happen again. The Titans have what it takes to keep Mahomes off the field. They'll probably need a little more from Tannehill than he gave them the last 2 games, but the Chiefs defense is also the worst of the 3 they have played. Andy Reid's conference title game woes continue. Titans 24-21 NFC: It's not hyperbole to say this entire NFL season rides on this game. Every part of this game that has anything to do with actual football favors the 49ers big. They are the better team, the more complete team, better on both sides of the ball, at home, with an extra day of rest after kicking our ass. They blew out the Packers less than 2 months ago, and did so without several of the starters they got back last week.  But when you have the officials in your back pocket, as the Packers have all year, nothing can be tak...

Well I'll be damned. The Pohlads finally signed an outside free agent to a big contract. 4 years, over $90 million, plus an option year for Josh Donaldson, He will take over at third, which shifts Sano over to first. It improves our defense.  It easily replaces whatever power we lose from Cron and Schoop. It gives us one more veteran in the middle.of the lineup. I already figured we could still win the Central again even as the roster already stood. Now the Twins should be sizable favorites.  Now, it still doesn't move the needle as far as winning in October. Somehow, some way, the Twins are still going to have to get some high end starting pitching to have a chance to win a world series.  But maybe, possibly, this unprecedented move can be the beginning of a new era for this organization. Maybe all the old (but true) cheap Pohlads jokes can finally become a thing of the past. 

Oscar nominations are out. 2019 was a great year for movies, so it would have been awfully hard to fuck up the nominees. And a lot of great stuff got nominated. I liked all 9 best picture nominees. Scarlett got nominated twice. Florence Pugh got nominated. Joe Pesci got nominated, which is so cool.  Endgame only got the usual fx nod. I didn't expect it to get major nods, but if Rise of Skywaller can slip in for the score then Endgame should as well.  Knives Out at least got a screenplay nod. Some of the nominees include recent movies I never actually did a blog review for. Uncut Gems  The biggest snub by FAR was Uncut Gems, specifically Adam Sandler. It's criminal. They nominate 2 performances in movies that nobody has raved about but snub Sandler. And even if you are going to deny his incredible performance, how do you ignore that film's score or editing or just the  film itself? I saw this twice now and it is just a incredible film. Bombshell Both Charlize Theron a...

It was clear after that MNF fiasco against the Lions that the NFL was greasing the wheels to get the Packers into the super bowl. Game after game at Lambeau Field this year brazenly rigged for the Packers. It was inevitable that at the key moment that could decide the playoff game that the refs would step in and decide that Seattle was finished.  Sure, the Packers likely go for it on 4th down anyway and convert, and Seattle played a bad game and Pete Carroll was astonishingly stupid to punt the ball in the final minutes, but that does not excuse the constant ref ball. Don't think for one second this shit can't happen again next week. The 49ers are not safe just because they're at home. The 49ers are not safe just because they're clearly the best team left in the big dance. This season has been marked by more officiating shenanigans than any in history.  Be afraid, Niners. Don't let it be a close game. If that game is not a 49ers rout the refs WILL usher the Packers ...

So now what? Well, the Vikings are now officially into an offseason that will probably be the biggest one in years in terms of major moving parts. And, sorry idiots, those moving parts will not include Cousins or Zimmer or Spielman. God dammit I am already so sick of the assholes flooding out of the cracks again to rage about our good QB, our good coach and our good GM, ranting as if these people are all just incompetent fools. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MOUTH BREATHING FUCKS!!! I would expect extensions for sure for Zim and Rick, at least before the draft if not well before. 2 years each at least. I would have to think that Cousins will be extended as well. It would be beneficial on both sides. We could get a little bit of cap relief (I would assume an extension would not be fully guaranteed) which could also be used towards improving the o-line. And for Kirk, it would give him some more financial security, cause what if he got a bad injury in a lame duck season? Position by position: QB:...

49ers 27 Vikings 10 This one was as simple a loss to understand as there has ever been.  The Vikings got flat out dominated in the trenches on both sides of the ball. The 49ers were clearly the better team. Right from the start this was the 49ers day. They took the opening drive right down the field on us. Easy runs. Open receivers. It was 7-0 real quick. We answered on our 2nd drive, with a pretty Kirk to Diggs touchdown to tie it up. The OL at this point looked to be holding up okay, so there was reason to hope. Shit started to go sideways after a Niners punt pinned us at the 12 (after Sherels almost muffed said punt). Kirk got engulfed for a sack on the 1st play. We ran a couple draws, and punted.  On the next drive it looked like Kendricks had stripped the ball and we got it. But review showed the runner was down just before the fumble. It was last week's Cook play. A potentially huge momentum swing in a tied game was lost. And then the Niners went down and put it in the e...

The Top 10: 1. The Infinity Saga (yeah I'm cheating and lumping a whole bunch of films into one, but it's MY list...for the record 4 MCU films at least would have been top 10) 2. 12 Years A Slave  3. Inception 4. Logan 5. The Hateful Eight  6. Scott Pilgrim vs The World 7. Django Unchained  8. The Edge of Seventeen  9. X-Men: Days of Future Past 10. Moneyball And the rest of my top 250, in roughly alphabetical order, that took a lot longer to sort than I expected... 10 Cloverfield Lane 42 50/50 99 Homes 20th Century Women  About Time  Anchorman 2 Annihilation  The Artist  The Art of Self Defense  Assassination Nation Baby Driver Beautiful Boy Beyond The Lights The Big Sick Birdman  Blackkklansman Black Mass Black Swan Blue Is The Warmest Color  Blade Runner 2049 Blindspotting  Blue Jasmine Blue Valentine  The Book of Eli Booksmart Boyhood Brad's Status Bridge of Spies Cabin In The Woods Call Me By Your Name Captain Fantast...

Vikings 26 Saints 20 OT What an incredible day!  Two years ago the Vikings did the miraculous. Today they did the impossible. They pulled off their biggest postseason upset in over 30 years. They took down the 13 win Saints in their own house. They made one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history look like a jittery rookie. Their unfairly beleaguered head coach had one of his finest days. Their quarterback played a clean game in his biggest game ever, and hit the 2 throws he absolutely had to hit in order to win the game. Nobody gave them a chance. I didn't even pick them to win, although I at least picked it close.  This win is so unbelievably satisfying. It changes all those irritating narratives. This one win trumps all those regular season losses to winning teams or on the road or in primetime. It is a vindication of Zimmer and Cousins.  It looked like maybe things were gonna go the expected way early. Adam Thielen fumbled on the opening drive. The Saints had the ball...

First home playoff loss since 2012. First time since 2009 they will not play past wild card weekend. First time since 2010 they will not play in the AFC title game.  Finished 4-5 overall after their 8-0 start. Thoroughly beaten by every other AFC division champ. I'm still not buying that Brady is done. He is not going to leave until he has the major passing records, and he still trails Brees in most of them. I still think it is 99% that he will return to the Patriots next year and still be a menace. But they've never gone out in a season like that before. And the AFC East is starting to look a little more promising. I won't feel safe they are done. They seemed done in 2009. But if nothing else we have evaded the dreaded Patriots-Packers super bowl for another year. 

Gophers 31 Auburn 24 Hell of a way to christen a new decade.  I did not think this would happen. I didn't think the Gophers would be destroyed, but I did think Auburn would mostly handle them without too much difficulty. But instead the Fighting Flecks capped off the best season of Gophers football in many decades with the finest win in many decades. Better than eeking by Penn State at home. Aside from a couple big plays by the Tigers, the Gophers were clearly the better team for the entire game.  The Gophers skill guys all showed up big time. Tanner Morgan was mostly great after that first drive pick. Tyler Johnson was a monster. I desperately want the Vikings to get him. Bateman had a huge catch and run. Ibrahim was a beast, including a couple of the best runs all year.  The defense let Auburn's QB run around a little too much, but they only let Auburn really sustain a drive a few times all day.  The whole team really atoned for those Wisconsin and Iowa losses that...