Cinematic Throwbacks: August 1986/2016

1986:

We now arrive at the first movie I cared about. 

I was 7 years old in 1986 (do the math, I'm old), and by far my favorite bit of what would later come to be commonly called "IP" was the Transformers. I watched the animated series all the time. I had tons of the toys. And then here comes this movie.

So I didn't understand things then about TV seasons or character continuity or all that. I just knew the show and characters. So I probably didn't even know what the movie itself was, other than thatnit was a movie. I had only seen a few movies in theaters at that point, and I think they were all tied to birthday parties.

So Transformers: The Movie marked the first time I went to a movie because I wanted to see that movie. I have some vague memories of seeing the commercials for it. I didn't know anything about release dates or anything like that. I don't even remember what theater I saw this at. Honestly, I don't even recall the experience of watching it.

And I REALLY had no idea why what happens in the movie happened. So, basically, it takes place after season 2. Autobots and Decepticons are still warring, as they do. But the movie famously kills off tons of familiar characters, even its two most famous ones, Megatron (who gets revived under a new name) and Optimus Prime (who is just dead). I must not have been traumatized by Prime's death, cause again, I don't remember my 1st viewing (or did I block it out cause it DID traumatize me?🤔). All these other deaths were actually ordered by Hasbro. They wanted to introduce a line of NEW characters, which would, of course, mean new toys. So yeah, the movie was a toy commercial. But kids like me wouldn't know that.

And reducing it to a toy commercial does a disservice to the movie. Whatever the ulterior motives were, the actual filmmakers made it into a real movie. And a pretty damn good one.

The animation remains cool. The music is fantastic, both the score and the use of actual songs. All the movie's weird little idiosyncrasies work in its favor, like having an action scene set to Weird Al's Dare To Be Stupid. The voice work is great, with the amazing factoid of the main villain being performed by Orson Welles, and just days before his death. 

Given its long history now as a fondly remembered movie, it's surprising that it was a box office flop. It had to be rediscovered by me, because it wasn't long after this movie that I moved on to other obsessions, chiefly sports. After all, the local ballclub had a pretty good following year. 

(RIP Peter Cullen)

In the discussion for the best film of 1986 and probably one of the best of the whole decade is Stand By Me, Rob Reiner's adaptation of a Stephen King story about 4 middle school boys going to find a dead body.

I came to this film like I did most of my early faves, on cable watches. It's one of those movies I probably watched 100 times but only saw it start to finish a few times.

I was a similar age to the characters when I got into it. In my early movie watching days, I was much more drawn to comedies than anything else. Stand By Me has funny parts but is mostly a drama.

The core 4 of the film are a shining example of great child acting. There is quiet, bookish Gordie (Wil Wheaton), bad seed Chris (River Phoenix), wild card Teddy (Corey Feldman), and goofy fat kid Verne (Jerry O'Connell). Sure, they all are archetypes, but all are fleshed out into such real characters. You never doubt for a second that these 4 are best friends. Phoenix was the actor of the group most destined for long-term stardom (he was DiCaprio before DiCaprio), but all 4 are very good. 

The B story has a group of older kids also going to find this dead body. Kiefer Sutherland is legit kinda scary as the leader of that gang. John Cusack has a couple of great flashback scenes as Gordie's recently decased brother.

Stand By Me is pretty close to a perfect movie. I mean, this thing is 90 minutes of one great scene after another, backed by a wonderful collection of late 50s songs. I've seen plenty of movies that nostalgically look back at a particular year gone by, but this thing really feels like it sets you right back in the late summer of 1959. 

The element of the film that really gets to me is that idea of losing touch with your best friends. The ending of the film, where adult Gordie (Richard Dreyfus, doing some of the all-time best narration) tells us how everyone else's future went, always crushes. I can relate. My best friends from elementary school up through most of junior high were "just another face in the hall" by high school. It happens. And that pattern repeated many other times over the year. Obviously, I'm not alone in that, but who doesn't think back to their best friends from that age? 

There's the added level of sadness to Chris's fate, given that Phoenix was gone less than a decade later. And now Reiner is gone, too. 

This is a great film to revisit every so often. It makes me nostalgic not just for a time period I didn't even live in, but my own youth, and it just gets more bittersweet as the years go on. Even on my 40th anniversary rewatch, I was blubbering as the title song plays through the credits. I think it's the fact that I have more years behind me than I do in front of me at this point. And I still never had any friends like I did when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone? 

2016:

What if food was alive?

That's the premise for this animated comedy cooked up (ha ha) by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, and this is among the funniest movies of the 2010s.

Set mostly inside a grocery store, the movie is about food coming to realize what happens when they leave the store. In a funny religious allegory, they are all told that when they are bought, they are being chosen to go to the great beyond. But the truth is revealed, and then the food has to fight back against humans.

It's silly. It's drowning in consistently amusing puns. It has very fun world building. It's also extremely R, with nonstop profanity and sex jokes. The movie plays out like a deranged parody of a Pixar movie. It's actually kind of surprising that Pixar never made a movie about talking food. I doubt theirs would have climaxed (ha ha) with a massive food orgy. Imagine being an animator and working on that scene. I think this movie was a big influence on Big Mouth. 

The voice cast featured most of the usual suspects from a Rogen project, including Rogen himself as a hot dog. Salma Hayek makes her taco character disturbingly attractive. Edward Norton is absurdly funny as a bagel who sounds like Woody Allen.

The movie is surprisingly low rated on Letterboxed (they're weird over there) but was a success, and did get a pretty good streaming series follow-up that showed the aftermath of food wiping out humanity. 

Other non-deep dive flicks...

1986:

-She's Gotta Have It: Spike Lee's debut film. More historically significant than  accomplished. It was made ultra cheap and looks it, but I'm sure if I saw it then I'd have guessed Lee was headed for great things. 

-Howard The Duck: One of the decade's notorious bombs. I have to admit I've never seen it. Was finally going to but couldn't find it free. 

-One Crazy Summer: Fun John  Cusack comedy. 

-The Fly: Jeff Goldblum turns into a fly. 

-Manhunter: The first appearance of Hannibal Lecter in a movie. 

-Armed and Dangerous: A kind of forgotten John Candy-Eugene Levy comedy where they play security guards. I watched it for the first time and mostly liked it. Has that 80s comedy thing where there's a crime plot that kind of takes over. 

-Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2: Macabre and goofy where the original was intense and scary. You get to see Dennis Hopper have a chainsaw fight with Leatherface. 

1996:

-Tin Cup: Ron Shelton went back to the sports romcom for this golf comedy with Kevin Costner and peak Rene Russo 

-The Fan: Absurd but enjoyable Tony Scott thriller where a deranged baseball fan (Robert Deniro) gets obsessed with his favorite player (Wesley Snipes).

-Escape From LA: The maligned sequel to Escape From New York. I watched it for the first time in 30 years and enjoyed it. 

-Chain Reaction: A weird action flop considering it was from The Fugitive's director and had Keanu Reeves and Morgan Freeman. 

-House Arrest: Kids lock their parents in the basement. I saw this in theaters cause it had Jennifer Love Hewitt in it. 

-Jack: Robin Williams is a child who ages really fast. Inexplicably directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The supporting cast had Jennifer Lopez and Bill Cosby. 90s! 

-Matilda: Family movie I never saw but I know is popular. 

-Emma: Some early Gwyneth Paltrow. 

-The Island of Dr. Moreau: Legendary bomb, with one of Marlon Brando's last performances. 

-Carpool: Bad Tom Arnold comedy. First time I saw Rachael Leigh Cook  

-She's The One: Had basically forgotten this, but The Rewatchables did an episode on it recently. 

-A Very Brady Sequel: The first Brady movie was a clever surprise, but they went back to the well here and flopped. 

-Bordello of Blood: The year's 2nd Tales From The Crypt movie. I saw this in theaters cause it starred Dennis Miller, who I was a big fan of once long before he lost his mind and joined the right wing grift. 

-The Crow: City of Angels: Another flop sequel, this one didn't have the morbid allure of seeing an actor in their last role.

-The Stupids: An actually okay Tom Arnold comedy, but it bombed just like Carpool. 

2006:

-Talladega Nights: The Will Ferrell/Adam McKay follow-up to Anchorman. It wasn't as good (what is?), but it stands among Ferrell's best movies. Sacha Baron Cohen steals it. 

-World Trade Center: We all cringed when we heard Oliver Stone was going to do a 9/11 movie. We were then all stunned when it turned out to be a very respectful (and sorta dull) story of two cops buried alive in the rubble. 

-Pulse: I seem to be just about the only one who liked this, one of the 2000s many American remakes of Asian horror movies. Kristen Bell starred in it. I thought it had a cool bleakness to it.

-Invincible: A true-ish story about a regular guy (Mark Wahlberg) who tried out for and made the Philadelphia Eagles. 

-Accepted: This one slipped by me at the time. A collection of societal cast-offs create their own fake college. It's actually pretty funny. 

-Half Nelson: Ryan Gosling got an Oscar nomination for this. 

-Step Up: They dance, and presumably step up at or onto something. 

-The Illusionist: The 2006 magician drama that wasn't The Prestige. 

-Snakes on a Plane: You had to be there. I WAS there, on opening night, and I can assure you we all realized very quickly that this was just not good. 

-Idlewild: Stylish musical starring Outkast and the breakout of Paula Patton. 

-Material Girls: Hilary Duff and sister Haylie in a pretty lame riches to rags comedy. I saw this in the theater though cause of Hilary. 

2016:

-Suicide Squad: I dunno, I have always kind of liked this movie. I like the ensemble, headed up a welcome star turn by Will Smith and the instantly iconic Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn. Yes, the James Gunn version was better. 

-Hell Or High Water: Outstanding thriller about a pair of bankrobbing brothers (Chris Pine and Ben Foster). Jeff Bridges delivers some great gruffness as the lawman trying to catch them. 

-A Tale of Love and Darkness: Natalie Portman's feature directing debut. I'm glad she got to make it, but it's rather boring. 

-Ben-Hur: One of the 21st century's most random things, a big budget remake of one of the most famous epics of yesteryear, which got dumped into theaters and nobody saw. 

-Mechanic: Resurrection: A wholly unnecessary sequel to a mediocre Jason Statham flick from 5 years earlier. At least they got Jessica Alba to be the love interest. 

-War Dogs: A political comedy with Jonah Hill and Miles Teller. Wasn't very good, iirc.

-Don't Breathe: Horror thriller where crooks break into a blind guy's house. It wasn't bad. Then, they made a wretched sequel. 

Coming in September...

As usual, September is a little thin. The biggest ones are one of my favorite underrated 2000s flicks, The Last Kiss, turning 20, and the excellent Deepwater Horizon.