April movie reviews

In theaters:

THE CONTRACTOR

A good example of a very generic movie being done well. Chris Pine is a discharged ranger who becomes, yes, a private contractor, but the job he goes on is not what he thinks it is. So, generic plot, completely bland title, but it plays the beats well. Pine is engaging, Ben Foster is always good, and it's good to see Kiefer Sutherland in something again, even if his character may as well be holding a sign that says "I am going to betray you." 

THE LOST CITY

Even after seeing the rather obnoxious trailer for this at seemingly every movie for 6 months, I still had hopes for this movie. But the trailers, sadly, were pretty accurate. This is an adventure comedy that tries incredibly hard for little payoff. Sandra Bullock (still hot despite the plastic surgery that has made it hard to move her face) and Channing Tatum ride on their natural likability. Daniel Radcliffe is quite annoying as the villain. The extended Brad Pitt appearance is easily the movie's high point but it comes way too soon. Then we are left with just an intermittently amusing movie that is just not that funny, and certainly doesn't involve you with the adventure plot or any action. Uncharted was a straight up adventure movie that managed more laughs than this. 

AMBULANCE

Oh hell yeah! Michael Bay was my 90s when it came to action. Then he became the Transformers guy, mixing in a few solid but unspectacular originals over the last 15 years. But holy shit is Ambulance a dazzling return to his 90s form. It is his best pure action movie since The Rock. The camerawork in this thing (a lot of it done with drones) is virtuosic. Bay finds just that right balance in having all the action but not letting too much out of place humor in there. Jake Gyllenhaal and Yahya Abdul Mateen are both excellent co-leads, with Eiza Gonzalez (naturally looking beyond spectacular) is awesome. Only flubs here are a few too many extra characters thrown in there, which bloats the run time a bit. 

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE

An instant classic, full of so much creativity and inventiveness that it makes most other films (even good ones) look lazy. Helmed by a duo called Daniels (who did the overrated oddity Swiss Army Man a few years back), this has Michelle Yeoh (an Oscar nominee if there is justice) as an ordinary woman pulled into a whole multiverse that only she can save. I honestly wouldn't even attempt a true plot synopsis, there is so much happening. The approach seems to have been to have the strangest thing possible happen in every scene. I frankly don't know how this thing isn't a total mess, but aside from a few bits that are just too outlandish, the story holds together and even winds up being pretty emotional. The visuals are endlessly creative. Yeoh is fabulous. I expect to be rewatching this film forever. 

DUAL

Karen Gillan is a woman who, after being told she is going to die from an incurable disease, has herself cloned. But then she doesn't die, and has to battle the clone to the death, for reasons. Gillan does some great deadpan, but this movie doesn't really have much beyond the oddity of the premise. 

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2

The first Sonic was a genuine surprise. It wasn't great, but it was better than expected. The sequel however is kind of a big old blah. I'll admit this is very much targeted towards kids, but the jokes here are really nothing but lame pop culture references. Jim Carrey really hams it up of course but it doesn't really hit. Idris Elba is the most fun as one of the CGI characters. I did think the requisite big action climax was pretty solid. We're definitely getting a part 3, which hopefully has better jokes. 

THE NORTHMAN

Robert Eggers, who broke out with The Witch (which I really liked) and The Lighthouse (which I respected the attempt) goes grand here with a big, sweeping Viking epic (there's even a "skol"). This thing is dark and grimy and violent (it makes Game Of Thrones seem tame). Parts of it get really weird and make no sense, but I was into it the whole way. The cinematography is fabulous. I wish it had a better lead than Alexander Skarsgard, who I just have never liked (although in a largely physical performance he's okay), but there are vivid supporting performances by the otherworldly Anya Taylor-Joy, Ethan Hawke, and even Bjork, because this is the kind of movie that would have Bjork show up for a scene. This film is basically if Ridley Scott was on acid while making Gladiator. 

THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT

Nicolas Cage is back (not that he ever left) playing himself in this extremely meta comedy that, somehow is not weird ENOUGH. Cage of course gives it his all, and forms a fun buddy pairing with Pedro Pascal, but while the movie is never unenjoyable it also turns into a pretty generic action movie by the 3rd act, while, I think, thinking it is actually spoofing them. And the movie casts Tiffany Haddish, Ike Barinholtz and NPH in parts that would have been funnier if they were played by serious actors. 

FATHER STU

Mark Wahlberg plays a real guy, who went from being a boxer and wannabe actor to a priest, while also getting diagnosed with a crippling ALS-like disease. Wahlberg is unfortunately the major weakness here. Pre-priest plotline he is just kind of annoying, and after he is just not convincing. Mel Gibson plays his dad, but that part feels kind of awkward. These aren't the actors you want in such a sincere story. 

MEMORY

The latest movie off the Liam Neeson assembly line. This one has him as an aging assassin dealing with early alzheimers, and both targeting and being targeted by both assorted goons and an FBI agent (Guy Pearce). This one is solid. It requires some real acting at times. I liked seeing Pearce as a good guy for once. You can tell this was made by a real director (Martin Campbell, he of some Bond movies). 

Everything else:

THE GUILTY

Too bad I waited so long to get around to this Netflix drama with Jake Gyllenhaal as a 911 operator who gets consumed with trying to save a kidnapped woman. This might have contended for top 10 honors. This was the movie I wanted The Call to be, a fully engrossing movie built largely around its star. I was with this one from go. Gyllenhaal is outstanding. Director Antoine Fuqua keeps the pace and tension going despite us almost never leaving the dispatch offices (as opposed to The Call, which fell apart the moment they changed locales). The twists are good. It has a little bit of a whimper ending but other than that this was really good. 

SETTLERS

The settling happened on Mars, but this is more like a western. It's paced very slowly, and doesn't really lead anywhere particularly interesting. But any movie that has Sofia Boutella has something going for it. 

NAKED SINGULARITY

Part courtroom drama, part crime thriller, part...maybe...sci-fi? This thing is kind of a mess, but it does have entertaining performances from John Boyega, Bill Skarsgard, and muh baby Olivia Cooke. 

LOCKED IN

Robbers break in to a storage facility, and only Mena Suvari can stop them. It's an okay version of a single location thriller, and Suvari is good.