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June movie reviews

In theaters: KARATE KID: LEGENDS This movie is a little bit of a bait and switch. It's marketed as being a merging of new and old KK movies, with Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio teaming up to help teach a kid to fight. But it only becomes that late in the film. The rest of the movie is unceasingly formulaic but charming enough. Made me very hungry for pizza, too.  BALLERINA Do we need a John Wick spinoff? Not really. But do we need Ana de Armas in everything? Oh yes! This movie is more of the same from this franchise, so it's more elaborate action scenes with lots of gun-fu. More assassin underworld world building. And like the 1st Wick, it's a straight-up revenge story. I would say that the freshness isn't there, but the action delivers big time, including a glorious finale involving flamethrowers. And de Armas is a fucking star. I don't know how that could be disputed. I'm not quite sure this did well enough to keep it going, but I need more of her in action mov...
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The Patriots are the luckiest dynasty ever

We are days away from the Patriots likely winning their sixth title in 18 seasons of Brady and Belichick. It has been horrible. It has been lucky as hell. Lucky. As. Hell. There is not a single Patriots fan who accepts the slightest argument that the last 18 years have been what they are for any other reason than "Brady's the GOAT. Belichick is the GOAT. Best franchise ever! If you disagree you're just a jealous hater." Reasoning with these people is impossible. Sure, not everything has been luck. I grudgingly admit they're very good. But my god, no franchise has EVER had such a long, lengthy run of stupendous good fortune, or luck. It begins in the very game that kicked this whole thing off...the tuck rule game in January 2002. Oakland outplays the Pats in the snow, and late in the game they get a strip sack of Brady and a game-clinching fumble recovery. Game over. Except a replay somehow overturns the call due to an unknown rule that was also interpreted w...
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2025 NFL predictions

We shall start in the AFC. Buffalo remains the clear class in the east, and will contend again for the Super Bowl.  The Patriots, with a little more stable coaching and an improving Drake Maye, are one of my wild card picks. The Jets will be competitive with the douchebag Rodgers gone, but don't have the juice to really contend. And Miami is just adrift, basically, playing out the string of the Tua era. Dangerous on a game by game basis, but not contenders. Baltimore again takes the north, and once again, the story will be can they win in the playoffs. The Bengals have all the offense they need to be a threat, and even just a slight improvement in the defense gets them back to the playoffs. Sorry, Pittsburgh. I usually root for them, but not this year with the douchebag Aaron Rodgers there. He's washed up. But the Tomlin rules all but guarantee 9 wins and at least fringe contention. Cleveland will stink, unless Joe Flacco pulls off another miracle. The south is easily the worst...
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