MISERY COMPLETE

LIONS 30

VIKINGS 20

It's over. Mercifully. 

The 2023 season from hell for the Vikings was finally put out of its misery on Sunday, as a day that began with the slimmest of playoff hopes was quickly snuffed out. (There were 4 things that needed to occur, and fittingly, none did)

Early on things didn't look a whole lot different from that deplorable no-show a week ago. The defense got torched for a couple easy touchdowns. The offense, led by Nick Mullens, looked ill-prepared and sloppy. The offensive line, down 2 starters, looked awful. 

We got down 13-0. The offense picked it up a little bit once the focus became Justin Jefferson (who passed 1,000 yards), and scraped together a pair of field goals by halftime.

Early in the 3rd quarter, the Lions drove easily to a touchdown that made it 20-6.

News wasn't any better down south. In this early window we needed a loss by either Tampa or New Orleans to stay alive. But a close game at half between the Saints and Falcons was turning into a Saints rout, and the Panthers were stuck on 0 against the Bucs. So it was looking like the end was near. 

But we did at least get a last couple highlights in a lost season. On a 4th and 1, Mullens hit Jefferson deep for a touchdown. Then after our defense got torched for a long TD too, Mullens hit another deep TD shot to Jordan Addison. 

By the 4th quarter the Saints and Bucs had put their games away, so it was over. The only real tension left was which game would go final first and make it official. For the record, the Saints officially got the honor of eliminating us. 

Fittingly, the last 2 drives of the Vikings season ended in turnovers, a pair of Mullens interceptions.

The Lions played their starters despite only having a minor chance of improving their seeding, and paid the price by getting a couple guys hurt. And it didn't even work out for them, as Dallas won later, and the Rams (led by Carson Wentz!) came back to win and set up a Stafford at Detroit playoff matchup next week. I'm sure Matthew will find pleasure facing a pass defense that let Nick Mullens roll up 800 yards combined in 2 games.

As a final kick to the nuts, the Packers wound up being the team that got that 7th seed we vacated. Just great.

What a miserable Vikings season. I've seen every one of them since 1987. This was one of the worst. 

The biggest stories of the season were injuries and turnovers. Neither one ever stopped.

All the omens were there way back in week 1. Three first half turnovers led to a loss that shouldn't have been a loss. 

We play okay in Philly, but again, a couple major turnovers. 

TJ Hockenson has a game winning TD in his midst against the Chargers, but it becomes a game ending pick.

Probably should have beaten the Chiefs, but a couple turnovers and ref shenanigans cost you that game. And they lost Jefferson for half the season in that game.

But the season was a tease, and so things improved. After a typically ugly win in Chicago the Vikings had their signature win, a convincing MNF win at home over the eventual 1 seed 49ers, with Kirk Cousins playing one of the best games of his career.

The next week we go to Lambeau and are rolling the Packers, about to be 4-4. Then out of nowhere, Kirk takes one bad step and blows his Achilles, and his season is over that fast.

Looking back now, that was the end. The season was over when Kirk's season was over. 

But we had one last bit of hope to extinguish. Dobbs Mania. Joshua Dobbs is acquired in a trade on a Tuesday, and the following Sunday he comes in for a concussed Jaren Hall, and through sheer athletic ability manages to orchestrate a thrilling comeback win in Atlanta. The following week, as he is making crazy exciting plays against the Saints, US Bank Stadium was electric. We were 6-4. We were 1.5 games clear of the playoff field. We were already through the toughest part of our schedule. Dobbs was only going to get better as he became more familiar with the offense. Right?

This was November 12th.

The Vikings would win only one more game. 

They led most of the game at Denver, then gave it up late. Dobbs completely imploded in that horrific home MNF game to the Bears, where the defense again gave up a late score to lose. 

After the bye, we had the humorous 3-0 win at Las Vegas, where Dobbs was benched for good.

The defense that pitched that shutout looked to be leading us to the playoffs regardless of QB play. And in Cincinnati we looked headed for another win. 

But something happened in the 2nd half. That defense went from formidable to Donatell-ish in a blink. We surrendered 3 4th quarter touchdowns, and then after the infamous 2 failed Mullens sneaks, a losing field goal in OT. 

As Christmas Eve dawned we still held out hopes to win the division. But the defense was done contributing, and a series of awful Nick Mullens picks cost us that Lions game. Then you have the teamwide no show against Green Bay, and this finale was basically academic.

All throughout, the turnovers never stopped happening, and at some of the worst times. Neither did the injuries. This was as bad an injury season as the Vikings have ever had.

We hung in there, but at some point attrition wins out.

There were lots of what ifs. Like, what if KOC just let Dobbs be a mobile QB instead of trying to make him be Kirk. And what if KOC just settled on a QB and didn't shuffle the starter like he did. 

And what if Hockenson catches the pass against the Chargers.

And what if the refs don't pick up the flag against the Chiefs.

What if Mattison doesn't fumble in Denver.

What if KOC even tries to pick up a first down late against the Bears.

What if we can pick up a yard in two tries in Cincinnati.

What if the refs don't steal the Cam Bynum TD against the Lions. 

What if Mullens throws to Brandon Powell late against the Lions. 

It would sit easier if the Vikings were just bad. But they were demonstrably the unluckiest team in the NFL this year, and one of the most injured. And they didn't even get schedule luck, facing the Chiefs, Broncos and Bengals right when they were at their best. Meanwhile we had to watch the Lions and Packers benefit from every kind of break imaginable. 

This was the season from hell. 

And now we head into an incredibly important offseason, easily the biggest of the new regime. 

The honeymoon is over. There are major decisions to be made for the long term future now. Kwesi must nail this offseason. 

The only benefit to the collapse is a higher draft pick, which should put them in position to draft Kirk's successor. But we know how risky this can be.

I think they will go QB, and I hope they are also able to bring back Kirk. But you don't know for sure how Kirk will be post-injury, and that makes the financials trickier. If he is willing to take a short, reasonable deal, you do it. If not, you might have to say goodbye this time. 

Brian Flores did an admirable job taking a disastrous defense and making it better, but that side of the ball needs a major infusion of talent. It sounds like Harrison Smith might be done. Danielle Hunter is finally positioned for a huge payday, and as great as he is you need more than just him. And the secondary again seems to need a major retool, since that whole 2022 draft class back there has stalled out if not flopped entirely.

The Jefferson extension needs to get done now. Cap space will be there to do things, especially if you go cheap at QB.

And KOC is on notice too. 2023 was a bad year for him. He didn't improve at decision making or play calling. Yeah, the QB carousel was a problem, but he caused some of those problems. He needs to stop being so stubborn about his way and his loyalty to players (no excuse for Mattison starting over Chandler so far into the season). I think the fans calling for him to be fired right now are absurd, but if a year from now these same issues remain it won't be so crazy.

The tattered rubble of the 2023 season HAS to be worth it. It has to lead to something good. I think it will. I think that 2023 was just an unavoidable disaster. Things happened that you just don't see like this. Injuries and luck can be cyclical. I sure as hell hope they are, anyway. I can't take another season like this. 

Good fucking riddance, season from hell.