Best and Worst Movies of 2023

The Ten Best:

1. Oppenheimer 

After multiple viewings, I still think the 3rd hour is a step down. But those first two hours are as well made and engrossing as any film of this decade so far and by a wide margin. Christopher Nolan, the greatest filmmaker of the 2000s, should finally win an Oscar for this. 

2. Spiderman: Across The Spiderverse 

A dizzying, dazzling sequel that improves on the original in almost every way, and even slips in some sly meta commentary about the toxicity of modern day genre fandom.

3. May December

An absolutely incredible, pantheon-level performance by Natalie Portman paces this darkly funny film about an actress researching a role a little too intimately. 

4. Godzilla Minus One

The shocker of the year. A film I didn't even know existed until just before it came out, and that I wasn't even going to see until I heard the buzz. And it turns out to be the best Godzilla movie ever made, in which miraculously the human drama is a match for the monster. 

5. The Holdovers

Alexander Payne's best film ever, and a new Christmas classic. A trio of stellar performances enrich the best dramedy in years. 

6. Creed 3

Michael B. Jordan steps in to direct, and keeps this franchise humming, with one of the best stories any of these films have ever had. 

7. A Good Person

A criminally dismissed drama from Zach Braff, with the magnificent Florence Pugh in full splendor, and the best Morgan Freeman performance in ages. 

8. Scream VI

My favorite horror franchise does it again, with another stellar entry. Melissa Barrera is a megastar. 

9. Killers Of The Flower Moon

Martin Scorsese brings all his skill, and a fantastic cast, to this sprawling epic about murders in a native community. 

10. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Actually my least favorite of the trilogy, but James Gunn brings it to a close with a fun and heartfelt finish. 

Honorable Mentions:

Fast X was the best of the series since 6.
Poor Things, a singularly weird film with a singularly weird Emma Stone performance. 
The memorable melancholy of Past Lives. 
The intense, uncompromising thriller How To Blow Up A Pipeline. 
The Creator was the year's best original sci-fi. 
Leave The World Behind was the best Shyamalan film Shyamalan didn't make.
Excellent action sequels John Wick Chapter 4 and Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part 1.
Dungeons and Dragons, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem were both WAY better than anyone could have reasonably expected. 

Some other non-top 10 contenders that I liked:

Barbie being an Oscar contender is weird, but the year's biggest hit was a charmer. 
Knock At The Cabin, the Shyamalan film he DID make, was pretty good.
Wasn't overall crazy about Sanctuary, but Margaret Qualley killed it. 
The dying DCEU gave us a decent Shazam sequel and a likable Blue Beetle movie. 
Not all of the comedy in Bottoms worked, but I would kill for more pairings of Rachel Sennott and Ayo Edibiri. 
The Marvels was not top tier MCU, but it so did not deserve to bomb. 
I also liked Ant Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Sue me. 
The Color Purple soared when it was about the music. 

The year's biggest mixed bag movies:

M3gan was in on the joke, but that joke was only occasionally funny.
The Flash had some cool stuff in it, but man did they fumble the return of Michael Keaton.
Indiana Jones and The Dial Of Destiny flopped hard, so there will be no more. But it wasn't that bad. 
Dream Scenario had a great Nicolas Cage performance and a neat idea, but wound up being a Charlie Kaufman wannabe. 
Beau Is Afraid, which went from utterly brilliant to borderline unwatchable, all in the span of 3 hours. 

The near-misses for the worst list:

The Super Mario Bros Movie made a billion dollars, but it was just not good. 
Inside had an interesting idea, but became a miserable slog to get through. 
I will never understand how Robert Rodriguez and Ben Affleck could have teamed up to make something as dull as Hypnotic.
The Equalizer 3 was just as disappointing as part 2.
Priscilla was very boring and bordered on Elvis character assassination. 
Exorcist: Believer was almost as bad as David Gordon Green's Halloween reboot. 

And the 10 worst:

10. Cocaine Bear

They had a funny title and forgot to make a movie to go with it. 

9. River Wild

Lame remake of the old Meryl Streep thriller, without thrills. 

8. Meg 2: The Trench

Was your favorite part of the last Jurassic Park all the corporate drama? Well then have I got the shark movie for you!

7. The Ritual Killer

Extremely boring serial killer movie, with an ending that was just nasty. 

6. Theater Camp

Aren't mockumentaries supposed to at least have attempts at actual humor?

5. Five Nights At Freddy's

Somehow this was a big hit, but it was boring as hell. 

4. Infinity Pool

An interminable slog from David Cronenberg's son that was pretentious and dull, even with Mia Goth in there. Why can't filmmakers grasp that having all sorts of grotesque images mean nothing without a story or characters to back them up?

3. Expend4bles

2. Silent Night

One of the emptiest moviegoing experiences of my life.

1. House Party

I don't know if this is a remake or a reboot, but it represents one of the all time worst examples of either one. A laughless, joyless slog following two completely charisma-free leads through a useless story that misses every single thing the original was about. I can tell you the original sure wasn't about having a bunch of celebrity cameos and having an inexplicable third act detour into a secret cult. I hate that this movie even exists. 

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