FUCK THE MINNESOTA TWINS

TOP TO BOTTOM, FUCK ALL OF YOU!

FOR SOME REASON I ACTUALLY WATCHED FROM THE 8TH INNING ON TONIGHT.

I SAW A DEAD TEAM HAVE A LITTLE COMEBACK AGAINST THE MIGHTY MARLINS AND TURN A 4-0 DEFICIT INTO A TIE

AND THEN HERE WE FUCKING GO INTO EXTRAS

10TH INNING MARLINS GET A SAC FLY. TWINS ARE HANDED BASES LOADED WITH NOBODY OUT. RYAN JEFFERS WORTHLESS ASS POPS OUT. WILLI CASTRO, WHO WAS SOMEHOW AN ALL STAR MONTHS AGO, SAC FLIES TO TIE IT BUT THAT'S ALL THEY GET. GREAT JOB CAPITALIZING YOU IMBECILIC FUCKS!

11TH INNING. HEY WE DIDN'T GIVE UP A RUN! HEY WE GOT BASES LOADED AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH NOBODY OUT. THEN ROYCE LEWIS, WHO WENT FROM BUDDING SUPERSTAR TO TOTAL BUM THIS YEAR, HITS RIGHT INTO THE DRAWN-IN INFIELD. FORCEOUT THEN FLYOUT. NO RUN. FUCK YOU!

12TH INNING. HEY NO RUN ALLOWED AGAIN. BROOKS LEE WALKED. JEFFERS USELESS DIPSHIT ASS TRIES TO BUNT AND POPS IT UP TO THE FIRST BASEMAN, WHO THEN DOUBLES OFF CARLOS SANTANA WHO HAD WANDERED OFF SECOND LIKE A FUCKING MORON! SOME VETERAN LEADERSHIP! THEN CASTRO IS OUT IN SECONDS. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO END A MANFRED BALL INNING SO FAST. 

13TH INNING: MARLINS, WHO HAVE 100 LOSSES, DECIDE THEY WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE AND PUT UP 3 RUNS. TWINS LOSE.

TWINS ARE 3 OUT WITH 3 TO PLAY. THE SEASON IS OVER.

FUUUUUUUCK THIS FRANCHISE.

FUCK THE POHLADS. A WORSE AMERICAN FAMILY THAN THE TRUMPS. I HOPE YOUR NEXT YACHT SINKS. SELL THIS TEAM YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT AND LEAVE THIS STATE FOREVER!!!

FUCK DEREK FALVEY. IT'S BEEN 8 YEARS AND WE STILL HAVE NO PITCHING PIPELINE. AND GREAT JOB ON ALL THOSE BULLPEN SIGNINGS YOU FUCKING NITWIT!

FUCK ROCCO BALDELLI. YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN GOOD. YOU HAVE ZERO SKILL AT MANAGING PITCHERS. THIS TEAM'S AMATEURISH FUNDAMENTALS ARE A DIRECT REFLECTION OF YOUR DISINTEREST IN YOUR JOB. YOU ARROGANT SHITHEAD I HOPE YOU GET FIRED!

FUCK DAVID POPKINS,  WHO COULD TAKE PRIME WILLIE MAYS AND TED WILLIAMS AND TURN THEM INTO FEEBLE POP UP HITTERS.

FUCK THE PLAYERS. YOU FRAGILE BITCHES, OH GOD FORBID YOU ASSHOLES NOT MISS WEEKS IF NOT MONTHS WITH EVERY LITTLE STUBBED TOE. GREAT JOB THE LAST MONTH. 

AND LASTLY, FUCK ME FOR PUTTING UP WITH THIS SHIT FOR DECADES. I'M 45 YEARS OLD AND THIS FRANCHISE HASNT DONE DICK SINCE I WAS IN 7TH GRADE. OH WOW WE WON A WILD CARD SERIES AFTER 20 YEARS OF ZERO PLAYOFF WINS WHOOPDIE FUCKING DO! GET TO A WORLD SERIES LIKE ALMOST EVERY OTHER FRANCHISE HAS DONE SINCE 1991. 

STANDING BY THIS FRANCHISE EVEN AS THEY GET ASS RAPED BY THE YANKEES YEAR AFTER YEAR SHOULD HAVE ME COMMITTED TO A GOD DAMN LOONEY BIN. 

AND NOW TO ADD TO THE DECADES OF FUTILITY WE HAVE ONE OF THE ALL TIME COLLAPSES OUT OF THE PLAYOFFS. CHRIST, THESE LOSERS COULDNT EVEN BE BOTHERED TO AT LEAST GIVE US AN INTERESTING FINAL WEEKEND. 

I KNOW THAT AFTER THE LONG UPCOMING WINTER THAT THE IDEA OF GOING TO TARGET FIELD NEXT SPRING WILL BE TEMPTING. 

I HOPE I HAVE THE RESTRAINT TO NOT GO. FUCK THE TWINS. I DONT WANT TO SPEND ANOTHER DIME ON THIS USELESS FRANCHISE THAT HAS MADE IT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR DOESN'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT ITS FANBASE OR ABOUT WINNING.

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