Sunday sports day journal

Well, the Elon site that lets MAGAts spread any vile bullshit they want locked me out for a week for tweeting the "Die of gonorrhea and rot in hell" joke from Ace Ventura in regards to our town's college  football coach.

So since I can't tweet on this packed Sunday (Vikings-Texans, Lynx-Phoenix game 1, Twins doubleheader in Boston, and a Kirko-Mahomes SNF game) this seems a fine time to do a live blog, which was a staple of my journaling days. 

10:30 am

Hopped on light rail to head to the purple palace. For some reason, I see Tua and Alvin Kamara jerseys. I myself have donned my purple rush #99 in honor of Danielle Hunter's return. 

11:05

Off the train. Oh, there are the Texans fans. Nowhere near as many as Niner fans last week. 

11:19 

PURPLE PALACE I AM IN YOU!

11:33 

Purple palace seat I am in you. (I could have also mentioned being in the purple palace bathroom, but that seemed a minor event) 

11:39 

Officially, I have the Vikings losing a close one due to the injured guys on D. And plus, we ain't winning EVERY game (or are we?).

Oh, and the Twins game 1 just started. They could finish the day anywhere from the 2nd wild card to out of the playoffs. 

11:47

Once again, I fully support the classic Vikings cheerleader outfits.

11:56

Defense introduced. Hit man gets the last slot. Rip Van Ginkel got a huge ovation though. 

12:02

Kickoff.

12:05

Twins down 3-0 

12:06

INTERCEPTION by Gruger-Hill, Pace's replacement. 

12:10

TOUCHDOWWWWN JJ! 

12:13

Twins down 3-0, and that's with Pablo. Uh oh. 

12:16

Diggs 1st catch. Some boos. 

12:22

Refs took away a fumble from us. I guess 2 feet down and TWO football moves does not constitute a catch. 

12:27

A monster Grennard sack forces a long field goal...which is NO GOOD! 

12:35

Surgical! We drive right down after the miss, and Sam hits Aaron Jones on a little crossing route for the score! But where was the bank vault? 

12:41

One quarter down. Flores has CJ Stroud rattled. 

12:45

6-0 Boston. I think that one can be written off. 

12:59

Incredible sequence. Texans were in field goal range, then had THREE false starts in a row. And had a 4th penalty declined and had to punt. The purple palace is ROCKING today! 

1:07

Vikings punt for the 2nd straight drive. Darnold is a little late on a throw to Powell.

Packers are taking advantage of Will Levis's suckitude. Denver up big on Tampa wtf! 

1:27

A Van Ginkel sack closes the half 14-0. Darnold took a couple of bad sacks on the last drive, but for now, the purple are in total control. 

1:38

Twins losing. Tigers winning. Royals losing. Three-way tie incoming?

Big 2nd half opening drive coming up for the Vikings. Gotta make this 3 score. 

1:52

Weird, chaotic Vikings drive. Darnold fumbled, but Powell picked it up and gained 8. We got a DPI in the endzone on a deep shot to...Mundt? And Sam slung it to Nailor for the score. 21-0! 

1:57

Texans 3 and out sparked by Grennard's 2nd sack. Meanwhile, I have barely heard Hunter's name. Way to go, Kwesi.

Oh, and the Orioles tied up Detroit. 

2:09

Twins officially lose game 1

2:11

Stroud finally hit a big 3rd and long thrown to set up a TD. 21-7 late in the 3rd. Still work to do, fellas.

2:18

Hunter roughed Darnold and Sam is hurt. Oh shit. 

2:20

Sam missed one play. We good. 

2:26

3rd quarter done. Vikings driving. Phantom OPI wiped out a Nailor TD. We converted a 4th and 1. Any score here pretty much ices things. 

2:30

Reichard field goal makes it 24-7. 

2:35

Bynum picks off Stroud. The palace is electric! 

2:42

A long Jones run sets up a short Darnold TD pass to Mundt. That's 4 on the day for Sam. It's 31-7! We're awesome! Skol! 

2:48

Grennard #3! Turnover on downs! 

2:53 Reichard booms a long one. 34-7! 

3:09

34-7 is your final. They didn't even concede the garbage TD. Amazing! 

3:27

Waiting on that train, so let's do some cleanup. Packers win. Bears lose. Bucs and Saints lose, so the Vikings and Seattle are the last of the NFC unbeatens just like everyone expected. Steelers are 3-0.

Tigers win, Royals lose.

4:36

After a joyous ride home and recording my happiest recap video ever, it's time to catch up. 

Lynx are throttling Phoenix, so no worries there at all. I contemplated doing both games, but nah. Game 2 will be fine.

Twins game 2 just started. They are a half game back of the Tigers and Royals atm.

Lions are winning. Cmon Arizona don't bitch out now. 

5:22

Um....Lynx?

That blowout win is suddenly a tight game. Them and their 3rd quarter lulls, man. I bet Youngblood is tweeting every 30 seconds. 

Elsewhere, Mike Zimmer's defense is getting run over again. Adam Thielen has a TD and the Andy Dalton-led Panthers are rolling in Vegas. 

5:39

Twins strike first in game 2.

Lynx are just collapsing. Only up 1 now as I type this and boy does that crowd sound quiet. Will game 2 be for survival? 

5:42

C'mon Lynx, don't be the only WNBA team to get upset today. They are losing now.

5:46

Lynx back up 3. Gonna be a heartstopper.

Twins up 2-0.

Oh, and goldilocks boy hit another homerun. MLB can't let Ohtani hit more, I guess.

5:52

Arizona letting us down against the Lions.

5:54

Good wake up call for the Lynx if they can escape. Can't screw around in a best of 3. 

5:55

Almost every bucket changes the lead. Dis tew much.

5:56

Collier hits a pair. Lead up to 3. C'mon my ladies!

5:57

BRIDGET CARLETON THE ASSASSIN!!!

5:59

3 run homerun for Boston.

Lynx lead sits at 6 with under 40 seconds left. 

6:02

Getting into the foul game now. Lynx just need to handle their business to win.

6:04

9-0 Lynx run.

6:05

Reeve emptying the bench. It's over. Lynx will take game 1! 

6:26

Boston now up 6-2 on the Twins. Yeah, it's over.

Lions win. Lame. Seattle won to go 3-0. Dallas in comeback mode. 49ers-Rams tied late.

7:02

Twins down 9-2 late, so for the first time in a very long time they will end the day not in a playoff spot.

Rams beat the 49ers on a last second kick. Dallas's comeback fell short.

In the other WNBA games its all chalk so far. Liberty won, and the Sun blew out Indiana, so we may be days away from Lynx vs Sun again.

SNF starts shortly. I give the Falcons a shot. Hey, primetime Kirk, baby! 

7:13

Kind of sad how much work Carrie Underwood has had done. 

7:28

First drive TD for Kirko! My man looks sharp.

7:47

Patrick Mahomes picked off in the endzone.

9:27

Falcons had a halftime lead but the Chiefs look to be asserting their usual dominance. Up 2 and driving for more.

9:32

Chiefs TD. Harrison Butker, however, was distracted by women having autonomy and shanked the PAT.

10:03

Chiefs still lead by 5 after an iffy no-call in the endzone on the Chiefs and then a 4th down incompletion. Can Kirk get one more shot like last week? 

10:07 

Chiefs 3 and out. Kirk gets 2 minutes and change to do it again. 

10:19

Falcons run an atrocious outside run on 4th and half a yard and get stuffed. Chiefs win. I'm sure Mackey is jerking himself off right now.

10:54

Aces take game 1 from the Storm. All chalk in the W. 

And this concludes our day.