NFL Week 3 recap

Thursday:

49ERS 30, GIANTS 12

The 49ers steamroll another patsy. Hard to dispute that Brock Purdy is really that good. 

Sunday:

COLTS 22, RAVENS 19 OT

Seems like the Ravens have 1 or 2 perplexing losses a year, and a home loss to a Gardner Minshew-led Colts squad qualifies. 

BROWNS 27, TITANS 3

The Browns defense just completely destroyed the Titans, who couldn't even get to 150 yards. Even Mr. Massage had a good game. 

LIONS 20, FALCONS 6

The new dynasty gets the win as the Falcons offense does basically nothing all game. 

PACKERS 18, SAINTS 17

Well isn't that nice. The Saints had a 17-0 lead, but then lose Derek Carr to an injury, which lets the Packers come back and win. 🤮🤮🤮

TEXANS 37, JAGUARS 17

A rather stunning blowout of the so far very unimpressive Jags. CJ Stroud with his 1st real good game. 

DOLPHINS 70, BRONCOS 20

One of the most stunning final scores, well, ever, as Miami was the first team to drop a seventy burger since the 1960s. They also had the most yards of any team since the 50s, hilariously both running and passing for 350+. And who better to do this to than Sean Payton. 

PATRIOTS 15, JETS 10

The Jets again have zero offense. Zach Wilson got the vote of confidence anyway. 

BILLS 37, COMMANDERS 3

Yeah I think we all knew the Commies weren't good. The Bills have stormed back the last 2 games and now face Miami next week. 

SEAHAWKS 37, PANTHERS 27

Andy Dalton put up some big numbers, but Seattle gouged the winless Panthers on both sides. Adam Thielen had over 100 yards. 

CARDINALS 28, COWBOYS 16

This is why you never gamble on sports. Dallas killed the NY teams, then goes to Arizona and is decisively beaten by team tank. 

CHIEFS 41, BEARS 10

Another hilarious beatdown of the Bears, for some reason overshadowed by Taylor Swift being there. Why is this celebrated, but when Jessica Simpson showed up to support Tony Romo back in the day she was made a pariah?

STEELERS 23, RAIDERS 18

The Steelers never score a lot of points, but their defense leads another win and Pickett was pretty good. 

Monday:

EAGLES 25, BUCCANEERS 11

Another primetime T.O.P. domination by the Eagles. Tampa had less than 200 yards offense. 

BENGALS 19, RAMS 16

Joe Burrow still stunk but got carried to a win. 

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