BACK INTO HELL

CHIEFS 27

VIKINGS 20

Last week was an anaomly. Last week the Vikings played a football game in which a few things went their way in key spots, and they were able to win.

We now resume our scheduled programming, in which the 2023 season as a Vikings fan is an unrelenting hellscape, full of missed opportunities, mistakes, and winnable games falling away in excruciating fashion. 

I wasn't even expecting a win. Apparently not many Vikings fans were, since clearly a whole ton of them sold their tickets to Chiefs fans. I have never seen more visiting fans at a sporting event before. I guarantee if it was even a 50-50 split it wasn't by much. 

My hopes for this game were that we could at least keep things close and have a chance late. Well, I guess that worked out. I should have been more specific. 

The first play of the game should have told me all I needed to know. Kirk connected with Josh Oliver on a really nice gainer aaaaaaand then Oliver had the ball ripped out of his hands. A turnover. Another fucking turnover. Preposterously, the third straight game with an opening drive turnover.

Obviously doing this is any game is bad, but especially so facing Patrick Mahomes. You can't give drives away. But we did and the Chiefs quickly cashed in on the short field for a 7-0 lead.

You also can't settle for field goals, but that's exactly what the Vikings did on their next 2 drives. On the second of them, KJ Osborn was wide open for a TD in the back of the endzone but for some reason wasn't looking back for the ball. 

In between the Chiefs also added a field goal. Then the Vikings defense even managed an honest to god stop. The Chiefs interfered with the fair catch and that gave us very good field position. It looked like we were going to squander it when we quickly faced 4th down. After some apparent indecision, the punt team went put. Ah, but the seeming confusion twas but a ruse. It was a fake punt, and a dandy one as Ty Chandler sprinted 15 yards. A handful of plays later, Kirk found Jordan Addison for the TD and the Vikings had a lead. Really. 

Didn't last of course, cause why would it. The Chiefs drove for a tying field goal, aided in part by a ridiculous blown call on a sideline catch that was ludicrously upheld. Still, under the circumstances a 13-13 halftime tie was not the worst thing.

The first play of the 3rd quarter was a Marcus Davenport sack of Mahomes, but then came the first of many infuriating 2nd half moments. On 3rd and 18, we blitzed Mahomes and he basically just launched a ball up for grabs downfield. Cam Bynum probably should have had a relatively easy pick, but instead mistimed his jump and the ball landed in the hands of Justin Watson for a backbreaking 33 yard gain. Well, from there the defense offered little resistance. A Mahomes TD toss gave the Chiefs the lead. We go 3 and out (does our offense EVER start the 3rd quarter well?).

Their next drive featured more refball bullshit. A pass to Travis Kelce appeared to have been snatched away by Josh Metellus as they both hit the ground. But it was ruled a completion. KOC challenged it, and lost, because sure. I guess we will forget all about that whole "complete the process" thing just this once. 

More refball popped up a few plays later. KC went for a 4th and 1, and Mahomes threw deep for Marques Valdes-Scantling. Harrison Smith was in coverage, and MVS grabbed Hitman's shoulder and turned him, trying to get to the ball. So naturally they called PI on Smith, handing the Chiefs a 1st and goal. I mean, these are major plays that were being blatantly called wrong. 

So the Chiefs led 27-13 and there obviously wasn't a lot of hope. But these Vikings are a stubborn bunch and don't quit even with the entirety of fate aligned against them. So they mounted a drive to cut it back to 7. Kirk had to convert a 4th down to Addison, and then hit a nice screen to Mattison for the score. 

Still, could we stop the Chiefs? We hadn't since the first half. We really didn't here either, but on a 4th and 1 Andy Reid weirdly decided to fake going for it, only to then punt. I mean, thanks. 

And it looked like it could have proved to be a giant mistake when Kirk led a drive deep into Chiefs territory. And they run a really well designed screen to Mattison, who had so much open field ahead that he may very well have scored. If he had caught the ball, which he didn't. I am so sick of this fucking football team's inability to catch.

A few plays later we faced a 4th down. Kirk targeted Addison, who might have had a chance on the ball were he not interfered with. The refs agreed, and threw the flag. Oh, but then they decided there was no DPI. Hmm, where was this on the Harrison Smith call, you assholes? They even let a Chiefs player take their helmet off on the field, which is supposed to be an automatic penalty, but in this case they let him off with a warning. Oh fuck you!

The Chiefs were.able to burn much of the remaining clock off before punting. We were actually able to get into reasonable hail mary position, but naturally the Chiefs quickly sacked Kirk only rushing 3. Because why would we even get the pass off? 

I'm so fucking sick of this hellish 2023 season. It's not even a third of the way done and it's already had a season's worth of frustration. 

We are buried in last with the Bears, who with our luck we will probably lose to next week. 3 back of the Lions, who are having everything go their way this year. Yeah the schedule eases up considerably soon but at a point that's no longer going to matter.

It's hard to maintain a shred of optimism given what we're seeing. Oh, and did I mention Justin Jefferson got gurt Kate in the game?

When is the draft?