Message Board Classics: Movies, Movies and More Movies pt. 1
Definitely gotta split these up.
Maybe it's just me, but the films coming out this year are VERY promising, with a great mix of prestige films, summer blockbusters, and Britney![]()
So, here is a LONG list of what to look forward to (or perhaps run screaming from-your pick):
-Attack Of The Clones: Nuff said
-Crossroads: Britney. Britney. Britney. I admit that my ability to see this movie without bias is not there.
-Queen Of The Damned: Based on the awesome trailer, it looks like Aaliyah's last film could be quite a sendoff.
-Abandon: Katie Holmes in a lead role.
-Spider-Man: Looks like Raimi may pull it off.
-The Bourne Identity: Spy flick with Matt Damon, Julia Stiles and Franka Potente, directed by Doug Liman.
-The Two Towers: Never thought I'd be eagerly awaiting this, but I am.
-Blade 2: Suh-weet!
-Chicago: Musical w/Mya, and Renee Zellweger. Be nice to have a good musical this year, hopefully
-City By The Sea: Could be a meaty dramatic role for Eliza Dushku
-Harvard Man: Sarah Michelle Gellar pre-Scooby career suicide.
-Austin Powers Goldmember: Midget humor is gold!
-Phone Booth: Cool sounding flick with Katie in a small role.
-A Walk To Remember: Mandy's sweeteness on a big screen.
-Men In Black 2: Could easily top the orignal.
-Harry Potter 2nd movie
-Martin Scorsese's Gangs Of New York: Trailer left me very unimpressed.
-Ice Age: From the Shrek guys.
-Spy Kids 2
-The Santa Clause 2
-rerelease of E.T.
-Insomnia: Diected by Memento's Christopher Nolan, and starring Al Pacino
-Minority Report, directed by Spielberg, starring Cruise.
-Once Upon A Time In Mexico: Robert Rodriguez ends his mariachi trilogy.
-The Scorpion King: Will The Rock have fans left after this?
-Red Dragon: new, old Hannibal Lecter film. Good news: NO JULIANNE MOORE!
-M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, w/ Mel Gibson
-Resident Evil: Zombie movie with Michelle Rodriguez? Coolness. I don't care if the buzz is bad.
-The Sum Of All Fears: Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan.
-We Were Soldiers w/Mel again
-Adaptation: from the Being John Malkovich folk
-David Fincher's Panic Room: Please let this be a great film start to finish.
-The Road To Perdition: Sam Mendes directs Tom Hanks.
-Death To Smoochy: Ed Norton
-Down and Under/Bad Company: a couple unpromising Jerry Bruckheimer productions
-Chasing The Dragon: A more promising Bruckheimer one, starring Cate Blanchett

So, here is a LONG list of what to look forward to (or perhaps run screaming from-your pick):
-Attack Of The Clones: Nuff said
-Crossroads: Britney. Britney. Britney. I admit that my ability to see this movie without bias is not there.
-Queen Of The Damned: Based on the awesome trailer, it looks like Aaliyah's last film could be quite a sendoff.
-Abandon: Katie Holmes in a lead role.
-Spider-Man: Looks like Raimi may pull it off.
-The Bourne Identity: Spy flick with Matt Damon, Julia Stiles and Franka Potente, directed by Doug Liman.
-The Two Towers: Never thought I'd be eagerly awaiting this, but I am.
-Blade 2: Suh-weet!
-Chicago: Musical w/Mya, and Renee Zellweger. Be nice to have a good musical this year, hopefully

-Harvard Man: Sarah Michelle Gellar pre-Scooby career suicide.
-Austin Powers Goldmember: Midget humor is gold!
-Phone Booth: Cool sounding flick with Katie in a small role.
-A Walk To Remember: Mandy's sweeteness on a big screen.
-Men In Black 2: Could easily top the orignal.
-Harry Potter 2nd movie
-Martin Scorsese's Gangs Of New York: Trailer left me very unimpressed.
-Ice Age: From the Shrek guys.
-Spy Kids 2
-The Santa Clause 2
-rerelease of E.T.
-Insomnia: Diected by Memento's Christopher Nolan, and starring Al Pacino
-Minority Report, directed by Spielberg, starring Cruise.
-Once Upon A Time In Mexico: Robert Rodriguez ends his mariachi trilogy.
-The Scorpion King: Will The Rock have fans left after this?
-Red Dragon: new, old Hannibal Lecter film. Good news: NO JULIANNE MOORE!
-M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, w/ Mel Gibson
-Resident Evil: Zombie movie with Michelle Rodriguez? Coolness. I don't care if the buzz is bad.
-The Sum Of All Fears: Ben Affleck as Jack Ryan.
-We Were Soldiers w/Mel again
-Adaptation: from the Being John Malkovich folk
-David Fincher's Panic Room: Please let this be a great film start to finish.
-The Road To Perdition: Sam Mendes directs Tom Hanks.
-Death To Smoochy: Ed Norton
-Down and Under/Bad Company: a couple unpromising Jerry Bruckheimer productions
-Chasing The Dragon: A more promising Bruckheimer one, starring Cate Blanchett
1/18/02
-Orange County
Pretty funny comedy. Thankfully it actually has a story, unlike 90% of last year's laughless comedies. Jack Black is irritating, though he does give an accurate portrayal of my older brother (at least his tendency to walk around shirtless despite having a horrid physique). Colin Hanks is solid, yet manic. I liked Schuyler Fisk a lot, and the cameos were really good, especially Harold Ramis trippin on ecstasy.
3 1/2 out of 5
-Kung Pow! Enter The Fist
Truly bizarre. I got a kick out of the ridiculous dubbing job. The fights were kinda funny. Probably the shortest feature-length film I've ever seen in the theater. A must see for any Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan, since it is actually very much in that vein.
2 1/2 out of 5
Pretty funny comedy. Thankfully it actually has a story, unlike 90% of last year's laughless comedies. Jack Black is irritating, though he does give an accurate portrayal of my older brother (at least his tendency to walk around shirtless despite having a horrid physique). Colin Hanks is solid, yet manic. I liked Schuyler Fisk a lot, and the cameos were really good, especially Harold Ramis trippin on ecstasy.
3 1/2 out of 5
-Kung Pow! Enter The Fist
Truly bizarre. I got a kick out of the ridiculous dubbing job. The fights were kinda funny. Probably the shortest feature-length film I've ever seen in the theater. A must see for any Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan, since it is actually very much in that vein.
2 1/2 out of 5
2/5/02
Slackers:
BIG fall for Rushmore's Jason Schwartzman. Here he plays a college classmate (and stalker) of James King. He blackmailes Devon Sawa and a couple of his "slacker" buds into helping him get her, but Sawa falls for her.
This movie fails for a lot of reasons. One is that the movie tries to get sentimental with the King-Sawa stuff, even though he's a creep. As with A Walk To Remember, I was not at all convinced by the supposed redemption of an asshole through love for a girl. That's not realistic. Girls go for assholes and stay with them even as they stay assholes. Granted, Schwartzman's a psycho, but even HE'S more sympathetic. He also is so insane in the movie that he actually gets a few laughs.
The movie is also overly reliant on shock value humor. I've seen too many of these movies. You know, if you can do no better than a fart joke or old people nudity, just do something else.
1 out of 5
This movie fails for a lot of reasons. One is that the movie tries to get sentimental with the King-Sawa stuff, even though he's a creep. As with A Walk To Remember, I was not at all convinced by the supposed redemption of an asshole through love for a girl. That's not realistic. Girls go for assholes and stay with them even as they stay assholes. Granted, Schwartzman's a psycho, but even HE'S more sympathetic. He also is so insane in the movie that he actually gets a few laughs.
The movie is also overly reliant on shock value humor. I've seen too many of these movies. You know, if you can do no better than a fart joke or old people nudity, just do something else.
1 out of 5
2/11/02
Collateral Damage:
3 out of 5
Actually not that bad. Well made, with solid action, good tough fights, a good villain and little reliance on Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting ability. Plot holes and inconsistencies the size of Columbia, but they aren't that big a deal.
There's a "surprising" twist at the end that I pretty much saw coming, but the film has one of the better final acts in an action film in a while. Good to have an action flick finish strong.
Actually not that bad. Well made, with solid action, good tough fights, a good villain and little reliance on Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting ability. Plot holes and inconsistencies the size of Columbia, but they aren't that big a deal.
There's a "surprising" twist at the end that I pretty much saw coming, but the film has one of the better final acts in an action film in a while. Good to have an action flick finish strong.
2/12/02
Rollerball:
Delayed several months, cut down to a PG-13, marketed as if it were Fast and the Furious 2. Oh, and it's from MGM, so you know it blows.
Easily one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. Plot craters in every scene (my fave being the fact that the Rollerball game would have no scoring if the defenders simply tackled the ball-handler, which would be easy). Terrible performances, especially the way out of his element Chris Klein, and the dismal Jean Reno (in maybe the worst performance ever from a good actor).
1 out of 5
Easily one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. Plot craters in every scene (my fave being the fact that the Rollerball game would have no scoring if the defenders simply tackled the ball-handler, which would be easy). Terrible performances, especially the way out of his element Chris Klein, and the dismal Jean Reno (in maybe the worst performance ever from a good actor).
1 out of 5
4/26/04
13 Going On 30:
You hear the complaint all the time that comedy trailers give away all the best jokes. Usually this is not the case, but not this time. The part where she flirts with the kid, the part where she opens an umbrella to avoid seeing a guy's dick, etc. This movie really did shove all its good gags into the trailer. What's left is a fairly worthless movie, only made watchable due to the unstoppable cuteness and charm of Jennifer Garner.
Garner is not a great comic actress, at least not here. She is not given much to really do. Once you get past the early scenes of her coming to grips with being a 13 year old in a 30 year old body, the thinness of the script really shows. There really aren't any jokes here. Not one big laugh, and very few solid ones even. At best the movie is pleasant enough to watch.
Gary Winick, who last helmed the insufferable Tadpole, does a directing job that any bland TV hack could do just as good. This is a lifeless movie, with basically no energy. He tries to spice the film up with not one but TWO scenes where characters dance to well known songs. Indeed, that "Thriller" scene is even worse in the film itself. Amazing how everybody knows the exact choreography. And how many films are gonna use that same old Liz Phair song?
Garner's cuteness gets nothing to play off of, as her love interest is played by the terminally bland Mark Ruffalo. He could not appear less interested in being in this film. Is this guy on seditives? WAKE UP!! And as for Andy "Gollum" Serkis, his performance is atrocious, like a 10th generation of Nathan Lane on his worst day.
I'm no fan of Big. I think Big is hugely overrated, but at least Big was a little daring. The "kid" had sex with the grown woman. This movie has no such edge to it. In fact, it has no edge at all. It is just 100 studio processed cheese.
Garner is not a great comic actress, at least not here. She is not given much to really do. Once you get past the early scenes of her coming to grips with being a 13 year old in a 30 year old body, the thinness of the script really shows. There really aren't any jokes here. Not one big laugh, and very few solid ones even. At best the movie is pleasant enough to watch.
Gary Winick, who last helmed the insufferable Tadpole, does a directing job that any bland TV hack could do just as good. This is a lifeless movie, with basically no energy. He tries to spice the film up with not one but TWO scenes where characters dance to well known songs. Indeed, that "Thriller" scene is even worse in the film itself. Amazing how everybody knows the exact choreography. And how many films are gonna use that same old Liz Phair song?
Garner's cuteness gets nothing to play off of, as her love interest is played by the terminally bland Mark Ruffalo. He could not appear less interested in being in this film. Is this guy on seditives? WAKE UP!! And as for Andy "Gollum" Serkis, his performance is atrocious, like a 10th generation of Nathan Lane on his worst day.
I'm no fan of Big. I think Big is hugely overrated, but at least Big was a little daring. The "kid" had sex with the grown woman. This movie has no such edge to it. In fact, it has no edge at all. It is just 100 studio processed cheese.
5/1/04
Mean Girls:
I would not call this a classic, but I enjoyed it.
Lindsay Lohan is very good. Only 17? oy oy oy! I still don't think she's got what Hilary Duff has got, but this film has more to it than Lizzie McGuire.
The bitchy "plastics" include Lacey Chabert and my latest choice for my future wife, Rachel McAdams. She was in The Hot Chick, as the girl who switched places with Rob Schneider, and she was hilarious in that. That was really one of those great hidden gem performances. She's sharp in Mean Girls as well, and drop dead gorgeous too.
Tina Fey wrote it and co-stars as a teacher. She's funny. The occasionally brilliant Amy Poehler is funny. Most surprisingly, the biggest laughs come from Tim Meadows as the principal.
I don't get some of the praise that this movie is some honest portrayal of high school. No it isn't. Movie high school is never like real high school. But this one does have a lot of wit, and thankfully doesn't stoop to toilet humor all the time.
Lindsay Lohan is very good. Only 17? oy oy oy! I still don't think she's got what Hilary Duff has got, but this film has more to it than Lizzie McGuire.
The bitchy "plastics" include Lacey Chabert and my latest choice for my future wife, Rachel McAdams. She was in The Hot Chick, as the girl who switched places with Rob Schneider, and she was hilarious in that. That was really one of those great hidden gem performances. She's sharp in Mean Girls as well, and drop dead gorgeous too.
Tina Fey wrote it and co-stars as a teacher. She's funny. The occasionally brilliant Amy Poehler is funny. Most surprisingly, the biggest laughs come from Tim Meadows as the principal.
I don't get some of the praise that this movie is some honest portrayal of high school. No it isn't. Movie high school is never like real high school. But this one does have a lot of wit, and thankfully doesn't stoop to toilet humor all the time.
5/11/04
It's the summer movie season, so here's the long (non)-awaited return of armchair box office
Van Helsing--$51.7 million
Mean Girls--13.6
Man On Fire--8.2
New York Minute--5.9
13 Going On 30--5.8
Laws Of Attraction--3.6
Kill Bill Volume Two--3.0
Godsend--2.7
Envy--2.5
Home On The Range--1.2
Van Helsing cost $160 million, so it's gonna be hard pressed to make that back. But the 2 Mummy movies each inexplicably had good word of mouth. It's obviously a long way from the openings of X2 or Spiderman.
The Olsen Twins bombed. The secret is out. They are not that cute. In fact, they're kind of UNattractive.
This was really the first time in a while I've checked out the top ten. Kill Bill is hanging around, and is actually close to equaling volume one's gross. Mean Girls is doing really well. Man On Fire is gonna end up another solid but unspectacular grosser for Denzel.
Van Helsing--$51.7 million
Mean Girls--13.6
Man On Fire--8.2
New York Minute--5.9
13 Going On 30--5.8
Laws Of Attraction--3.6
Kill Bill Volume Two--3.0
Godsend--2.7
Envy--2.5
Home On The Range--1.2
Van Helsing cost $160 million, so it's gonna be hard pressed to make that back. But the 2 Mummy movies each inexplicably had good word of mouth. It's obviously a long way from the openings of X2 or Spiderman.
The Olsen Twins bombed. The secret is out. They are not that cute. In fact, they're kind of UNattractive.
This was really the first time in a while I've checked out the top ten. Kill Bill is hanging around, and is actually close to equaling volume one's gross. Mean Girls is doing really well. Man On Fire is gonna end up another solid but unspectacular grosser for Denzel.
5/14/04
Van Helsing:
I've got a secret. Van Helsing, that film that's been getting raked over the coals, really is not bad.
I'm not about to place Stephen Sommers among the elite directors or anything, and he lacks the style and skill of a Michael Bay, but this is his best effort so far.
I thought the first half hour or so of the film was really good, as we get a solid prelude with Dracula and Frankenstein. Then a cool scene between Van Helsing and Hyde. Then a good sequence with Helsing heading to Transylvania and battling Dracula's brides.
The overall story is ok. They did do a good job of coming up with reasons for Dracula, Frankenstein's monster and the Wolfman to be involved. I thought the creatures themselves were pretty boring. Richard Roxburgh's performance as Dracula was rather awful. The guy playing Wolfman was dull. Frank's monster was ok.
Hugh Jackman is entertaining, but I do wish he'd been allowed to be more of, well, a Wolverine type. The attempts at comedy didn't really work.
Kate Beckinsale, well, she was so drop dead gorgeous that her level of performance almost doesn't matter. But she's very good. She was kind of lifeless in Underworld, but she's much better here. It's a good part, and she's as good here as Kiera was in Pirates Of The Caribbean.
The fx work is really good. The one thing done far better here than usual was the CGI people. That was pretty seamless. Sommers throws too much flash up there for the sake of flash, but I didn't find it to be too much.
I'm not about to place Stephen Sommers among the elite directors or anything, and he lacks the style and skill of a Michael Bay, but this is his best effort so far.
I thought the first half hour or so of the film was really good, as we get a solid prelude with Dracula and Frankenstein. Then a cool scene between Van Helsing and Hyde. Then a good sequence with Helsing heading to Transylvania and battling Dracula's brides.
The overall story is ok. They did do a good job of coming up with reasons for Dracula, Frankenstein's monster and the Wolfman to be involved. I thought the creatures themselves were pretty boring. Richard Roxburgh's performance as Dracula was rather awful. The guy playing Wolfman was dull. Frank's monster was ok.
Hugh Jackman is entertaining, but I do wish he'd been allowed to be more of, well, a Wolverine type. The attempts at comedy didn't really work.
Kate Beckinsale, well, she was so drop dead gorgeous that her level of performance almost doesn't matter. But she's very good. She was kind of lifeless in Underworld, but she's much better here. It's a good part, and she's as good here as Kiera was in Pirates Of The Caribbean.
The fx work is really good. The one thing done far better here than usual was the CGI people. That was pretty seamless. Sommers throws too much flash up there for the sake of flash, but I didn't find it to be too much.
5/14/04
Troy:
Once again, another old-fashioned epic from Warner Bros. in which the lead actor is ripped for being a movie star.
Brad Pitt, as the nearly invincible Achilles, is very good in Troy, even if his character is a bit thin. I had no trouble believing him in the part.
The real standout performance here is, surprisingly, from Eric Bana. In Troy he is everything he should've been in The Hulk. His big fight with Pitt was outstanding.
Also giving excellent performances are Brian Cox and Sean Bean. Peter O'Toole has some moments, but he has one scene where he's so bug-eyed that it's almost comical. Orlando Bloom is ok, but I'm still not sold on him.
The female characters get the short straw. None are very compelling. Diane Kruger as Helen is pretty (and has a nice glossy ass) but she's rather bland. And Rose Byrne is quite cute (she looks strikingly like Jessica Alba), but I never got what she was doing. She has a romance with Pitt, but I never knew why. And the Helen-Paris romance that starts the war never really goes anywhere.
But the smaller flaws get wiped away by the spectacle that Wolfgang Petersen really does pull off magnificently. Excellent battle scenes, grand moments, all of that. The film is very entertaining and really involving. The whole budget is up there on screen.
Brad Pitt, as the nearly invincible Achilles, is very good in Troy, even if his character is a bit thin. I had no trouble believing him in the part.
The real standout performance here is, surprisingly, from Eric Bana. In Troy he is everything he should've been in The Hulk. His big fight with Pitt was outstanding.
Also giving excellent performances are Brian Cox and Sean Bean. Peter O'Toole has some moments, but he has one scene where he's so bug-eyed that it's almost comical. Orlando Bloom is ok, but I'm still not sold on him.
The female characters get the short straw. None are very compelling. Diane Kruger as Helen is pretty (and has a nice glossy ass) but she's rather bland. And Rose Byrne is quite cute (she looks strikingly like Jessica Alba), but I never got what she was doing. She has a romance with Pitt, but I never knew why. And the Helen-Paris romance that starts the war never really goes anywhere.
But the smaller flaws get wiped away by the spectacle that Wolfgang Petersen really does pull off magnificently. Excellent battle scenes, grand moments, all of that. The film is very entertaining and really involving. The whole budget is up there on screen.
5/17/04
Troy--45.6 million
Van Helsing--20.1
Mean Girls--10.1
Breakin All The Rules--5.3
Troy opened bigger than I'd have expected, but with the giant price tag it, like Van Helsing, will likely lose money.
Van Helsing dropped 61% in week 2. Looks like it won't hold nearly as well as the Mummy movies.
Jamie Foxx suffers another flop. That movie doesn't look great, but I am thinking of seeing it just to lust after Gabrielle Union.
Van Helsing--20.1
Mean Girls--10.1
Breakin All The Rules--5.3
Troy opened bigger than I'd have expected, but with the giant price tag it, like Van Helsing, will likely lose money.
Van Helsing dropped 61% in week 2. Looks like it won't hold nearly as well as the Mummy movies.
Jamie Foxx suffers another flop. That movie doesn't look great, but I am thinking of seeing it just to lust after Gabrielle Union.
5/25/04
Shrek 2--104.3
Troy--23.8
Van Helsing--10.1
Mean Girls--6.9
Man On Fire--3.5
Shrek 2 has done $125 million already. And with the way kid movies hold up week after week, this could become the biggest hit since Spiderman, and could do close to $400 million. None of the Pixar films have even done this well.
Troy dropped 49%, which is at least less than Van Helsing did. Still, with that big price tag, this will lose some significant money.
Van Helsing is on its way out. No sequel for that one.
Super Size Me actually made the top ten.
Next week: the highly anticipated (by me anyway) The Day After Tomorrow, plus Mandy's Saved opens (though maybe not widely)
Troy--23.8
Van Helsing--10.1
Mean Girls--6.9
Man On Fire--3.5
Shrek 2 has done $125 million already. And with the way kid movies hold up week after week, this could become the biggest hit since Spiderman, and could do close to $400 million. None of the Pixar films have even done this well.
Troy dropped 49%, which is at least less than Van Helsing did. Still, with that big price tag, this will lose some significant money.
Van Helsing is on its way out. No sequel for that one.
Super Size Me actually made the top ten.
Next week: the highly anticipated (by me anyway) The Day After Tomorrow, plus Mandy's Saved opens (though maybe not widely)
5/28/04
Shrek 2:
Shrek was a good movie. It also had a very self-contained story. There was nothing left to tell.
Shrek 2 is one of the biggest sequel dropoffs in terms of quality since Matrix Reloaded.
I really did not like how they took the main characters, and threw out everything that was resolved at the end of Shrek 1. Now Shrek and Fiona doubt their love for each other again, only to service the lame plot they came up with. Now Shrek seems to hate Donkey again. They bicker the whole movie. At the end we're right back where we were at the end of the last movie.
The movie is running on fumes. The idea of the Fairy Godmother being a kind of crime boss was a complete failure, cuz she's not a funny villain at all. The parents were boring and unfunny. The Pinocchio and gingerbread man scenes were funny, but all they did was hearken back to their better scenes from Shrek 1.
The one great thing in Shrek 2 is Puss In Boots, voiced hilariously by Antonio Banderas. That's Banderas' best character ever by far. Love the cute face he did.
All the references are somewhat amusing, though there are TOO many. Liked the Mission: Impossible one best. The animation is of course excellent, but all this movie does is elicit an occasional smile or mild laugh.
Shrek: ***1/2
Shrek 2: **
Shrek 2 is one of the biggest sequel dropoffs in terms of quality since Matrix Reloaded.
I really did not like how they took the main characters, and threw out everything that was resolved at the end of Shrek 1. Now Shrek and Fiona doubt their love for each other again, only to service the lame plot they came up with. Now Shrek seems to hate Donkey again. They bicker the whole movie. At the end we're right back where we were at the end of the last movie.
The movie is running on fumes. The idea of the Fairy Godmother being a kind of crime boss was a complete failure, cuz she's not a funny villain at all. The parents were boring and unfunny. The Pinocchio and gingerbread man scenes were funny, but all they did was hearken back to their better scenes from Shrek 1.
The one great thing in Shrek 2 is Puss In Boots, voiced hilariously by Antonio Banderas. That's Banderas' best character ever by far. Love the cute face he did.
All the references are somewhat amusing, though there are TOO many. Liked the Mission: Impossible one best. The animation is of course excellent, but all this movie does is elicit an occasional smile or mild laugh.
Shrek: ***1/2
Shrek 2: **
5/29/04
The Day After Tomorrow:
Roland Emmerich's big budget weather calamity flick is one of the three big event films I've penciled in as my 3 most anticipated of the summer. I can only hope Spiderman 2 and I, Robot deliver at the level that this did, because this is a pretty terrific film.
Emmerich hasn't been so good since Independence Day (one of the very best blockbusters ever made). The Patriot was ok, but Godzilla was awful. TDAT has him back in top form, delivering the quintessential summer movie, with tons of great fx sequences and great money shos, with just enough of a story to make you feel like you're not watching an fx test reel.
The story here is not exceptional. But it isn't a throwaway either. I thought Dennis Quaid was very solid, and made for a compelling lead. Jake Gyllenhaal has some good moments as well. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever enjoyed his underplaying more. I liked how his little romance with the drop dead cuteness that is Emmy Rossum was nicely done. And there are some nicely (albeit thinly) done characters from unknowns too. They don't force any of this stuff into the film.
Sure this film is implausible, but critics who rip the film on that basis are, frankly, buffoons. It does not matter if something like this can happen in our current reality. It only matters if it is believable within the film's own rules and logic. And this film sets it up in a way that makes it believable. The science jargon was even kind of interesting, but then again I've been into weather since I was a kid.
TDAT delivers on a visual level like few blockbusters ever have. The disaster sequences are just great. LA gets torn apart by tornadoes (hopefully swallowing up the bitch ass Lakers with them). NYC gets submerged by water (DROWN STEINBRENNER). Huge storms cause instantaneous freezing of everything in their path. My favorite scene in the whole film involves some of the characters trying to outrun the insta-freeze. And you know they can't have a normal kind of happy ending, so there's no need to worry about one.
The film does fall well short of ID4 though. There are a couple logic gaps (how do the NYC survivors not freeze, regardless of them being in the library?). There is one truly bad scene involving an attack of a pack of CGI wolves. The LA tornado disaster scene is slightly marred by the idiocy of the reporters. And while this is not the liberal propoganda film some want you to believe, there are some obvious and tacky shots taken at a certain current administration including a final speech that overdoes it. They sure found a dead ringer for Cheney though!
But this is a really well done film. It takes itself seriously too, which I appreciated. So often in big fx films, the filmmakers treat their work as camp, or are always winking to the audience. TDAT doesn't do that, and because of that it succeeds.
8 out of 10
Emmerich hasn't been so good since Independence Day (one of the very best blockbusters ever made). The Patriot was ok, but Godzilla was awful. TDAT has him back in top form, delivering the quintessential summer movie, with tons of great fx sequences and great money shos, with just enough of a story to make you feel like you're not watching an fx test reel.
The story here is not exceptional. But it isn't a throwaway either. I thought Dennis Quaid was very solid, and made for a compelling lead. Jake Gyllenhaal has some good moments as well. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever enjoyed his underplaying more. I liked how his little romance with the drop dead cuteness that is Emmy Rossum was nicely done. And there are some nicely (albeit thinly) done characters from unknowns too. They don't force any of this stuff into the film.
Sure this film is implausible, but critics who rip the film on that basis are, frankly, buffoons. It does not matter if something like this can happen in our current reality. It only matters if it is believable within the film's own rules and logic. And this film sets it up in a way that makes it believable. The science jargon was even kind of interesting, but then again I've been into weather since I was a kid.
TDAT delivers on a visual level like few blockbusters ever have. The disaster sequences are just great. LA gets torn apart by tornadoes (hopefully swallowing up the bitch ass Lakers with them). NYC gets submerged by water (DROWN STEINBRENNER). Huge storms cause instantaneous freezing of everything in their path. My favorite scene in the whole film involves some of the characters trying to outrun the insta-freeze. And you know they can't have a normal kind of happy ending, so there's no need to worry about one.
The film does fall well short of ID4 though. There are a couple logic gaps (how do the NYC survivors not freeze, regardless of them being in the library?). There is one truly bad scene involving an attack of a pack of CGI wolves. The LA tornado disaster scene is slightly marred by the idiocy of the reporters. And while this is not the liberal propoganda film some want you to believe, there are some obvious and tacky shots taken at a certain current administration including a final speech that overdoes it. They sure found a dead ringer for Cheney though!
But this is a really well done film. It takes itself seriously too, which I appreciated. So often in big fx films, the filmmakers treat their work as camp, or are always winking to the audience. TDAT doesn't do that, and because of that it succeeds.
8 out of 10
6/1/04
(4-day totals)
Shrek 2--92.2
The Day After Tomorrow--86
Troy--15
Raising Helen--14
Soul Plane--7
Shrek 2 is on its way to being maybe the 2nd biggest grosser of all time behind Titanic. I'm amazed at this, since I don't think it's even close to the level of the first one. But when these kid flicks hit big, they hit REALLY big sometimes. Harry Potter though will surely take a huge chunk of that audience away, but this thing's still headed for over $400 million.
The Day After Tomorrow (whose $125 million budget seems paltry next to Troy and Spiderman 2) opened fabulously. I'll be curious to see what the word of mouth is on this. If it's good, this should easily hit $200 million.
Raising Helen didn't bomb, but it may be time to stop giving Kate Hudson lead roles. Soul Plane looked like a complete failure, and it'll be on DVD in about a week, so we'll find out. Proof again that MGM can screw up every film they have a chance to screw up.
Mandy Moore's Saved opened very well in limited release. Hell, at 20 screens it grossed one-twelfth of what Chasing Liberty's 1st week was.
Next week: the Emma Watson obsessions reach a fever pitch
Shrek 2--92.2
The Day After Tomorrow--86
Troy--15
Raising Helen--14
Soul Plane--7
Shrek 2 is on its way to being maybe the 2nd biggest grosser of all time behind Titanic. I'm amazed at this, since I don't think it's even close to the level of the first one. But when these kid flicks hit big, they hit REALLY big sometimes. Harry Potter though will surely take a huge chunk of that audience away, but this thing's still headed for over $400 million.
The Day After Tomorrow (whose $125 million budget seems paltry next to Troy and Spiderman 2) opened fabulously. I'll be curious to see what the word of mouth is on this. If it's good, this should easily hit $200 million.
Raising Helen didn't bomb, but it may be time to stop giving Kate Hudson lead roles. Soul Plane looked like a complete failure, and it'll be on DVD in about a week, so we'll find out. Proof again that MGM can screw up every film they have a chance to screw up.
Mandy Moore's Saved opened very well in limited release. Hell, at 20 screens it grossed one-twelfth of what Chasing Liberty's 1st week was.
Next week: the Emma Watson obsessions reach a fever pitch
6/5/04
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban:
The first 2 Potter films were solid, if overrated. But you'd think this third film, which as director swaps studio slickster Chris Columbus for Alfonso Cuaron, would really rocket this franchise up to a higher level. And while HP3 IS the best of the bunch, it itself is not exactly up to the challenge of making this series something better than just solid.
Cuaron clearly does a fine job. This film is darker, enticingly moody at times, and is easily the best acted of the series. Daniel Radcliffe is very good. Rupert Grint is solid comic relief, if a bit shrill at times. And Emma Watson is terrific, stealing the film completely (which she more or less did in the last film too).
But again, this film is overstuffed with material in a clear attempt to appease fans of the book. It's at least a good half hour shorter than the first two, and it moves at a quicker pace to be sure, but not being a fan of the books, I found this film at times just as confusing as the others.
I don't consider this that big a deal, cuz I guess a lot of people watch the SW prequels with the same confusion, whereas I'm a die hard and understand it all.
The title "villain", played by Gary Oldman, never made much sense to me. There's a big, long scene where everybody's true intentions are revealed, and this scene is like one of the worst ever James Bond villain scenes where the characters have to do thsese long speeches to explain the plot. Same thing happened in the other films too. This film's ending felt very incomplete too, since the story I thought this was never became very clear or interesting. It kind of just finds a happy scene and ends there. Those "dementor" things never made much sense either.
Most of the little bit scenes though carry the film. I liked Harry riding that big mutant bird called a hypocrite (that's not it, but that's what it sounded like). I liked the Quidditch scene (though, would they really play in a giant storm??). I liked the super fast bus. I liked the big tree whacking Harry and Hermione around.
I kinda liked the bit where they go back in time, but man, all that sequence was was seeing what we already saw. The resolution was not worth the 15 minutes it took to get there.
These Harry Potter films are solid, but as franchises go it is not near the top.
Cuaron clearly does a fine job. This film is darker, enticingly moody at times, and is easily the best acted of the series. Daniel Radcliffe is very good. Rupert Grint is solid comic relief, if a bit shrill at times. And Emma Watson is terrific, stealing the film completely (which she more or less did in the last film too).
But again, this film is overstuffed with material in a clear attempt to appease fans of the book. It's at least a good half hour shorter than the first two, and it moves at a quicker pace to be sure, but not being a fan of the books, I found this film at times just as confusing as the others.
I don't consider this that big a deal, cuz I guess a lot of people watch the SW prequels with the same confusion, whereas I'm a die hard and understand it all.
The title "villain", played by Gary Oldman, never made much sense to me. There's a big, long scene where everybody's true intentions are revealed, and this scene is like one of the worst ever James Bond villain scenes where the characters have to do thsese long speeches to explain the plot. Same thing happened in the other films too. This film's ending felt very incomplete too, since the story I thought this was never became very clear or interesting. It kind of just finds a happy scene and ends there. Those "dementor" things never made much sense either.
Most of the little bit scenes though carry the film. I liked Harry riding that big mutant bird called a hypocrite (that's not it, but that's what it sounded like). I liked the Quidditch scene (though, would they really play in a giant storm??). I liked the super fast bus. I liked the big tree whacking Harry and Hermione around.
I kinda liked the bit where they go back in time, but man, all that sequence was was seeing what we already saw. The resolution was not worth the 15 minutes it took to get there.
These Harry Potter films are solid, but as franchises go it is not near the top.
6/6/04
It looks like Harry Potter is gonna demolish Spiderman's opening weekend record.
As for next week's newcomers:
Riddick: Definite must-see. The most recent trailer kicks all kinds of ass. Vin kills in these kinds of roles. Pitch Black ruled. Thandie Newton and Alexa Davalos from Angel.
Garfield: Despite the prescence of the ever so cute J Love, I'm not sure I'll see this.
The Stepford Wives: You could not pay me to see this latest p.o.s. from The Joker. The whole thing looks like a disaster.
As for next week's newcomers:
Riddick: Definite must-see. The most recent trailer kicks all kinds of ass. Vin kills in these kinds of roles. Pitch Black ruled. Thandie Newton and Alexa Davalos from Angel.
Garfield: Despite the prescence of the ever so cute J Love, I'm not sure I'll see this.
The Stepford Wives: You could not pay me to see this latest p.o.s. from The Joker. The whole thing looks like a disaster.
6/8/04
Harry Potter 93.6
Shrek Deux 37.9
The Day After Tomorrow 27.8
Raising Helen 6.5
Troy 5.9
Well, Potter DID break the one day record of Spiderman's, but surprisingly then fell a good $20 million short of the 3-day record. I guess this shows this franchise has maybe become a bit more like, well, most other franchises, in that the die hards flock to it day one, and then it drops quickly. I'm sure this will still reach $300 million.
Shrek keeps making loot. It should still eek by $400 million.
TDAT took about a 60% dive, which I kind of expected. I liked it a lot, but it's definitely not a universally liked film.
Shrek Deux 37.9
The Day After Tomorrow 27.8
Raising Helen 6.5
Troy 5.9
Well, Potter DID break the one day record of Spiderman's, but surprisingly then fell a good $20 million short of the 3-day record. I guess this shows this franchise has maybe become a bit more like, well, most other franchises, in that the die hards flock to it day one, and then it drops quickly. I'm sure this will still reach $300 million.
Shrek keeps making loot. It should still eek by $400 million.
TDAT took about a 60% dive, which I kind of expected. I liked it a lot, but it's definitely not a universally liked film.
6/14/04
Harry Potter 3--35
Riddick--24.6
Shrek 2--24
Stepford Wives--22.2
Garfield--21.6
The Day After Tomorrow--14.5
Raising Helen--3.8
Troy--3.4
Saved--2.5
Mean Girls--1.5
Well, the new Potter direction appears to be straight down, as it fell 62%. It is all but assured of being the lowest grossing Potter film, despite the huge opening. And forget my $300 million prediction.
Vin Diesel's Riddick sequel had an ok opening, especially considering how the marketing seemed to be trying to keep Riddick newbies away. But at a $100 million budget, this is gonna be a financial failure, so goodbye to those hopes of Riddick 3. I bet Vin is very glad he hopped on for Fast and the Furious 3.
Shrek keeps going, and now is basically guaranteed to pass $400 million.
For the first time EVER, Nicole Kidman has opened a film. And if this film is as godawful as it looks (most films starring her are), it may be the last time she opens one. But, after years of being told what a big star she is, she's finally opened one fairly well. She has now opened the same number of films as Lindsay Lohan, Kate Hudson and, yes Virginia, Britney Spears.
Garfield did pretty good, but there's a lot of kid stuff out there right now.
Saved moved into the top 10. Mean Girls passed $80 million. Let's see Stepford make it there.
Next week: Tom Hanks is stranded in an airport with a volleyball, Jackie Chan spends 80 days with some weird British guy, and we get the year's 15th Ben Stiller movie.
Riddick--24.6
Shrek 2--24
Stepford Wives--22.2
Garfield--21.6
The Day After Tomorrow--14.5
Raising Helen--3.8
Troy--3.4
Saved--2.5
Mean Girls--1.5
Well, the new Potter direction appears to be straight down, as it fell 62%. It is all but assured of being the lowest grossing Potter film, despite the huge opening. And forget my $300 million prediction.
Vin Diesel's Riddick sequel had an ok opening, especially considering how the marketing seemed to be trying to keep Riddick newbies away. But at a $100 million budget, this is gonna be a financial failure, so goodbye to those hopes of Riddick 3. I bet Vin is very glad he hopped on for Fast and the Furious 3.
Shrek keeps going, and now is basically guaranteed to pass $400 million.
For the first time EVER, Nicole Kidman has opened a film. And if this film is as godawful as it looks (most films starring her are), it may be the last time she opens one. But, after years of being told what a big star she is, she's finally opened one fairly well. She has now opened the same number of films as Lindsay Lohan, Kate Hudson and, yes Virginia, Britney Spears.
Garfield did pretty good, but there's a lot of kid stuff out there right now.
Saved moved into the top 10. Mean Girls passed $80 million. Let's see Stepford make it there.
Next week: Tom Hanks is stranded in an airport with a volleyball, Jackie Chan spends 80 days with some weird British guy, and we get the year's 15th Ben Stiller movie.
6/22/04
Dodgeball...30
The Terminal...19
Harry Potter...18
Shrek 2...13.9
Garfield...11.3
Riddick...9.4
Stepford Hags...8.7
Day After Tomorrow...8.1
Around The World In 80 Days...7.5
Troy...1.7
Much to discuss.
First, another Ben Stiller movie opens big. This does look somewhat funny, but I was burned bad by Starsky & Hutch, so I won't pay to go see this.
Terminal opened fine. People are acting like this is a flop, but this is about what Road To Perdition opened at on the way to $100 million, and this is more audience friendly. It skews older, and older people do not rush out week one.
Potter is gonna fall short of $250 million. Shrek is 2 weeks away from $400 million.
Any hopes of a Riddick franchise are officially dead. Oh and look, Stepford collapsed too. Both of these will lose big money.
But neither is as colossal a bomb as Around The World In 80 Days. This thing cost $100 million, and probably won't even make it to $30 million.
Saved seems to have topped out. It fell 50%. It does not pay to do religious satire.
And way down at #53 is maybe the best film out there right now, Mario Van Peebles' glorious comeback Baadasssss! I've got reviews of that, Riddick and Saved to do, but not tonight.
Next week:
Michael Moore's fair and balanced Fahrenheit 9/11
Rachel McAdams becomes my new wife in The Notebook
The Wayans Brothers wade through tired racial jokes in White Chicks (I wonder if the races were reversed...)
The Terminal...19
Harry Potter...18
Shrek 2...13.9
Garfield...11.3
Riddick...9.4
Stepford Hags...8.7
Day After Tomorrow...8.1
Around The World In 80 Days...7.5
Troy...1.7
Much to discuss.
First, another Ben Stiller movie opens big. This does look somewhat funny, but I was burned bad by Starsky & Hutch, so I won't pay to go see this.
Terminal opened fine. People are acting like this is a flop, but this is about what Road To Perdition opened at on the way to $100 million, and this is more audience friendly. It skews older, and older people do not rush out week one.
Potter is gonna fall short of $250 million. Shrek is 2 weeks away from $400 million.
Any hopes of a Riddick franchise are officially dead. Oh and look, Stepford collapsed too. Both of these will lose big money.
But neither is as colossal a bomb as Around The World In 80 Days. This thing cost $100 million, and probably won't even make it to $30 million.
Saved seems to have topped out. It fell 50%. It does not pay to do religious satire.
And way down at #53 is maybe the best film out there right now, Mario Van Peebles' glorious comeback Baadasssss! I've got reviews of that, Riddick and Saved to do, but not tonight.
Next week:
Michael Moore's fair and balanced Fahrenheit 9/11
Rachel McAdams becomes my new wife in The Notebook
The Wayans Brothers wade through tired racial jokes in White Chicks (I wonder if the races were reversed...)
6/25/04
THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
Too bad this film's more or less a bomb, cuz this film has lots of ambition, taking Riddick and putting him in this epic story that's pretty uniquely done. David Twohy really tried to create a new franchise here. This film is basically Star Wars if Pitch Black was Alien, just to compare the scope. Vin is unfairly bashed imo. XXX was a disaster, but he's back in his element here and owns this film completely. Alexa Davalos is all kinds of hot. Keith David is back (but sadly w/o those gloriously campy lines he had in PB). Thandie Newton is hot, but the villains are the weakest part of the film. I did not like the ending, since from that point a sequel could have an uninteresting plot. But I guess we'll never know that for sure.
SAVED
I love me some bashing of religious fanatics. Saved bashes the type of people who twist themselves into knots trying to follow all the arbitrary rules of whatever religion they follow, and who shun anyone who doesn't fit into their narrow-minded view of what's right. That said, I wish this film had been meaner. Oh, it gets in its punches, and many of them are lol funny, but it could've been a real classic if it had been a little more offensive. The cast is great, led by Jena Malone, who has taste like few other young actresses. Macaulay Culkin is surprisingly excellent, Patrick Fugit is very charming, and Eva Amurri (who I HATED in The Banger Sisters) just owns every scene. And this is easily Mandy Moore's finest hour on the big screen so far. Great casting, as she plays off and against her sweet image so convincingly that I wanted to bash her face in with a shovel by the end of the film.
BAADASSSSS!
Mario Van Peebles has fallen off the edge of the earth the last decade. From New Jack City to...Solo (ugh)...and a slew of direct to video crap. Its like he chose to be a C-list star. But he's back in a major way with this film, chronicling how his father made Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song. The direction is alive. The film is very funny. It doesn't even show the elder Van Peebles in a nice light. Mario plays him, and he should absolutely be a contender for a Best Actor nomination (he should for sure get an indie nomination). The cool cast also has the gorgeous Joy Bryant in an afro, Nia Long in her 1st decent role in years, and even Adam West! This is one of the best films I've ever seen about the making of a movie.
Too bad this film's more or less a bomb, cuz this film has lots of ambition, taking Riddick and putting him in this epic story that's pretty uniquely done. David Twohy really tried to create a new franchise here. This film is basically Star Wars if Pitch Black was Alien, just to compare the scope. Vin is unfairly bashed imo. XXX was a disaster, but he's back in his element here and owns this film completely. Alexa Davalos is all kinds of hot. Keith David is back (but sadly w/o those gloriously campy lines he had in PB). Thandie Newton is hot, but the villains are the weakest part of the film. I did not like the ending, since from that point a sequel could have an uninteresting plot. But I guess we'll never know that for sure.
SAVED
I love me some bashing of religious fanatics. Saved bashes the type of people who twist themselves into knots trying to follow all the arbitrary rules of whatever religion they follow, and who shun anyone who doesn't fit into their narrow-minded view of what's right. That said, I wish this film had been meaner. Oh, it gets in its punches, and many of them are lol funny, but it could've been a real classic if it had been a little more offensive. The cast is great, led by Jena Malone, who has taste like few other young actresses. Macaulay Culkin is surprisingly excellent, Patrick Fugit is very charming, and Eva Amurri (who I HATED in The Banger Sisters) just owns every scene. And this is easily Mandy Moore's finest hour on the big screen so far. Great casting, as she plays off and against her sweet image so convincingly that I wanted to bash her face in with a shovel by the end of the film.
BAADASSSSS!
Mario Van Peebles has fallen off the edge of the earth the last decade. From New Jack City to...Solo (ugh)...and a slew of direct to video crap. Its like he chose to be a C-list star. But he's back in a major way with this film, chronicling how his father made Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song. The direction is alive. The film is very funny. It doesn't even show the elder Van Peebles in a nice light. Mario plays him, and he should absolutely be a contender for a Best Actor nomination (he should for sure get an indie nomination). The cool cast also has the gorgeous Joy Bryant in an afro, Nia Long in her 1st decent role in years, and even Adam West! This is one of the best films I've ever seen about the making of a movie.
6/27/04
Fahrenheit 9/11:
Sure this film is biased. Sure this film attacks Bush. Sure this film chooses to omit certain things.
So what? You think a pro-Bush film like this would not do the exact same things?
Here's my theory on Moore. Moore is not a hardcore Democrat. He said on Dateline he did not vote for Gore, and didn't even vote for Clinton in 96. But the right insist he is the captain of the liberals, as opposed to a true independent who simply hates Bush. The right (and when I say that, I mean mostly the hardcore republicans, not every one of them certainly) does not understand the concept of an independent. All they see is those who are not 100% with them.
Anyway, all you hear on politically charged radio, or on TV these days are people who are hardcore dems or reps. These people know no other way to go about their business than to spew hate, encourage ignorance, and to shout down anybody who dares to take an opposing view. Now, just try listening to Rush Limbaugh and Al Franken, and try telling me Franken is some bully. He's about the closest thing to a liberal mouthpiece there is, and he's calm and rational. Flip over to Rush, the most known conservative mouthpiece, and try telling me he does anything other than spew hate, equating liberals with terrorists and things like that.
But anyway, the point is, if you are not WAY over on one side or the other, you cannot be heard. Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 then almost had to be way over on one side. Better to have one side attacking you than both. But the surprise in the film is that Moore's true independece comes through clearly to anybody who actually pays attention. Oh sure it's a majority Bush bashfest, but Moore also takes quite a few shots at Democrats in the film, as he has in interviews as well.
I liked Bowling For Columbine more than F9/11, but just by a shade. BFC was simply more entertaining and informative. F 9/11 repeats a ton of info that is already well known, although it's nice to have it all organized into one film. And there are things I was unaware of, like all the ties between the Bushes and the Saudis. I'm sure some of them are pretty meaningless, but the sheer volume of them are pretty damning.
Moore devotes time to the 2000 election, to Bush's lack of attention pre 9/11 (42% of his first 8 months spent on vacation!--I'd get fired from my job if I took so much vacation time right away), to the way Bush and his boys exploited the hell out of 9/11. This part builds off of something in BFC, that when a society is afraid, those in power can get away with anything. He's right. For a long time after 9/11, nobody questioned Bush on anything, including the mythical liberal media (which did nothing but kiss Bush ass during this time). Moore points out that those terror alert levels are there for no other reason than to scare the public, and I agree 100% with that.
Moore focuses mostly on the war in Iraq. I love how current events can change the film even now. The Bush team are trying to convince the rubes that they never claimed any connection between Saddam and 9/11, but this film has clips of these people insisting there IS one.
Again, much of this info is already known, but there are interesting interviews with soldiers in Iraq, some harsh scenes of carnage, and a rather heartbreaking segment with a mother who lost her son in Iraq.
The film is pretty sad, really. I guess that's why I enjoyed BFC more, cuz that film was lol funny at times. And I don't believe this film will have any effect on the election. It's clearly a biased film (though Moore never says "vote Kerry", he could just as easily be saying "vote Nader"). I guess a few could be swayed, but not an election-turning number.
I don't know. I would say that regardless of political affiliation, the film should be seen. And as Ebert said, I'd like to see a rebuttal film. Somethng tells me "Michael Moore Hates America" will not be that film though. It'll probably be a lot of fat jokes.
So what? You think a pro-Bush film like this would not do the exact same things?
Here's my theory on Moore. Moore is not a hardcore Democrat. He said on Dateline he did not vote for Gore, and didn't even vote for Clinton in 96. But the right insist he is the captain of the liberals, as opposed to a true independent who simply hates Bush. The right (and when I say that, I mean mostly the hardcore republicans, not every one of them certainly) does not understand the concept of an independent. All they see is those who are not 100% with them.
Anyway, all you hear on politically charged radio, or on TV these days are people who are hardcore dems or reps. These people know no other way to go about their business than to spew hate, encourage ignorance, and to shout down anybody who dares to take an opposing view. Now, just try listening to Rush Limbaugh and Al Franken, and try telling me Franken is some bully. He's about the closest thing to a liberal mouthpiece there is, and he's calm and rational. Flip over to Rush, the most known conservative mouthpiece, and try telling me he does anything other than spew hate, equating liberals with terrorists and things like that.
But anyway, the point is, if you are not WAY over on one side or the other, you cannot be heard. Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 then almost had to be way over on one side. Better to have one side attacking you than both. But the surprise in the film is that Moore's true independece comes through clearly to anybody who actually pays attention. Oh sure it's a majority Bush bashfest, but Moore also takes quite a few shots at Democrats in the film, as he has in interviews as well.
I liked Bowling For Columbine more than F9/11, but just by a shade. BFC was simply more entertaining and informative. F 9/11 repeats a ton of info that is already well known, although it's nice to have it all organized into one film. And there are things I was unaware of, like all the ties between the Bushes and the Saudis. I'm sure some of them are pretty meaningless, but the sheer volume of them are pretty damning.
Moore devotes time to the 2000 election, to Bush's lack of attention pre 9/11 (42% of his first 8 months spent on vacation!--I'd get fired from my job if I took so much vacation time right away), to the way Bush and his boys exploited the hell out of 9/11. This part builds off of something in BFC, that when a society is afraid, those in power can get away with anything. He's right. For a long time after 9/11, nobody questioned Bush on anything, including the mythical liberal media (which did nothing but kiss Bush ass during this time). Moore points out that those terror alert levels are there for no other reason than to scare the public, and I agree 100% with that.
Moore focuses mostly on the war in Iraq. I love how current events can change the film even now. The Bush team are trying to convince the rubes that they never claimed any connection between Saddam and 9/11, but this film has clips of these people insisting there IS one.

The film is pretty sad, really. I guess that's why I enjoyed BFC more, cuz that film was lol funny at times. And I don't believe this film will have any effect on the election. It's clearly a biased film (though Moore never says "vote Kerry", he could just as easily be saying "vote Nader"). I guess a few could be swayed, but not an election-turning number.
I don't know. I would say that regardless of political affiliation, the film should be seen. And as Ebert said, I'd like to see a rebuttal film. Somethng tells me "Michael Moore Hates America" will not be that film though. It'll probably be a lot of fat jokes.
6/28/04
Fahrenheit 9/11...21.8
White Chicks...19.6
Dodgeball...18.5
The Terminal...13.9
The Notebook...13
Harry Potter 3...11.4
Shrek 2...10.5
Garfield...7
Two Brothers...6.2
Stepford Wives...5.2
F9/11 made about $25,000 per screen on 868 screens. White Chicks made about $7,000 per screen on 2,726 screens. So give or take a little, F9/11 would've made over $60 million had it been on as many screens as White Chicks.
F9/11 is already assured of being the top grossing documentary in history, if it isn't already. Its huge success speaks for itself, so I'll move on.
White Chicks did pretty well. I guess it would be hard to NOT open this movie.
Both Dodgeball and Terminal held up very well. Dodgeball is now almost a lock for $100 million, while Terminal is proably gonna end up in the 90s or high 80s.
The Notebook had a very solid opening for a film with no stars. I bet this hangs around a while too.
Harry Potter and Shrek are still making money. Shrek will pass $400 million this week. It could still become the highest grosser since Titanic. Even Garfield is gonna end up making money. Not all kid flicks do well though, as Two Brothers flopped.
Next week: Spiderman does whatever he can to obliterate all competition. By one week from right now it should already be at $150 million, or close to it.
___________________
THE NOTEBOOK
You know why I think this film will have strong word of mouth and hang around for a while? I saw the film today, and when it ended I have never heard so much sniffling in a theater before (really the whole last 20 minutes or so). For me, the film tripped my sap-o-meter quite a few times, but as a tearjerker, there hasn't been one this effective in quite some time. You have a love story between the ever impressive Ryan Gosling, and my absolute future wife Rachel McAdams (well, now that Britney's taken again), and the story is told as a flashback by James Garner, who is the older Gosling, who is reading the story to the older McAdams (Gena Rowlands), who has Alzheimer's and so does not even know this is her story. The Gosling-McAdams stuff is not that original. It's the same kind of story we've seen a thousand times, where the poor guy loves the rich girl, but the parents disapprove. But the Garner-Rowlands stuff gives it meaning. The present day scenes are the most effective, especially the last 15 or 20 minutes. It's blubber central, even if the very end is a bit over the top. But Garner's just great, as is Rowlands. Gosling is very good, though it is awkward seeing him in a nice guy part after playing a lot of creeps. And I'm about to dropkick Natalie and Katie and Britney and run away with Rachel McAdams. I mean, she is IT. Fuhgeddaboutit. The film is a big improvement over the last Nicholas Sparks adaptation, the Mandy Moore dud A Walk To Remember. Sure this one too has enough cheesy sentiment and melodrama to tick off some people, but I reject phony sentiment, and this film is not phony.
White Chicks...19.6
Dodgeball...18.5
The Terminal...13.9
The Notebook...13
Harry Potter 3...11.4
Shrek 2...10.5
Garfield...7
Two Brothers...6.2
Stepford Wives...5.2
F9/11 made about $25,000 per screen on 868 screens. White Chicks made about $7,000 per screen on 2,726 screens. So give or take a little, F9/11 would've made over $60 million had it been on as many screens as White Chicks.
F9/11 is already assured of being the top grossing documentary in history, if it isn't already. Its huge success speaks for itself, so I'll move on.
White Chicks did pretty well. I guess it would be hard to NOT open this movie.
Both Dodgeball and Terminal held up very well. Dodgeball is now almost a lock for $100 million, while Terminal is proably gonna end up in the 90s or high 80s.
The Notebook had a very solid opening for a film with no stars. I bet this hangs around a while too.
Harry Potter and Shrek are still making money. Shrek will pass $400 million this week. It could still become the highest grosser since Titanic. Even Garfield is gonna end up making money. Not all kid flicks do well though, as Two Brothers flopped.
Next week: Spiderman does whatever he can to obliterate all competition. By one week from right now it should already be at $150 million, or close to it.
___________________
THE NOTEBOOK
You know why I think this film will have strong word of mouth and hang around for a while? I saw the film today, and when it ended I have never heard so much sniffling in a theater before (really the whole last 20 minutes or so). For me, the film tripped my sap-o-meter quite a few times, but as a tearjerker, there hasn't been one this effective in quite some time. You have a love story between the ever impressive Ryan Gosling, and my absolute future wife Rachel McAdams (well, now that Britney's taken again), and the story is told as a flashback by James Garner, who is the older Gosling, who is reading the story to the older McAdams (Gena Rowlands), who has Alzheimer's and so does not even know this is her story. The Gosling-McAdams stuff is not that original. It's the same kind of story we've seen a thousand times, where the poor guy loves the rich girl, but the parents disapprove. But the Garner-Rowlands stuff gives it meaning. The present day scenes are the most effective, especially the last 15 or 20 minutes. It's blubber central, even if the very end is a bit over the top. But Garner's just great, as is Rowlands. Gosling is very good, though it is awkward seeing him in a nice guy part after playing a lot of creeps. And I'm about to dropkick Natalie and Katie and Britney and run away with Rachel McAdams. I mean, she is IT. Fuhgeddaboutit. The film is a big improvement over the last Nicholas Sparks adaptation, the Mandy Moore dud A Walk To Remember. Sure this one too has enough cheesy sentiment and melodrama to tick off some people, but I reject phony sentiment, and this film is not phony.
7/1/04
Spiderman 2:
Spiderman is right up there as one of the 2 or 3 best comic book films ever. I personally would rank it behind Blade 1 and maybe X2. It deserved every dollar it made.
Is Spiderman 2 better than the first one? Well, I'd have to call this one a photo finish. I really cannot choose one over the other.
I think the story is better here, not that it wasn't excellent last time. The whole superhero double life thing was handled great. I thought the Peter Parker-Mary Jane love story was much more involving this time. Doc Ock's villainy made a little more sense than Green Goblin. The stuff involving Harry's desire to get revenge on Spiderman was great.
There are a couple of outstanding action sequences, including a couple that take place way up at the tops of tall buildings. The fx work is better this time, with no dismal rubbery CGI people.
I almost felt this film had too little action. What's there is excellent, don't get me wrong. But I know this film's budget was about $50 million higher, but I didn't see $50 million extra up there. But the non-action is strong, so this is really not THAT big a problem.
Tobey Maguire is very good again. Kirsten Dunst may look ragged as hell in the previews, but in these movies she just projects a lot of sweetness. Alfred Molina is less campy a baddie than Willem Dafoe, but he's also more sympathetic. I still don't think either villain has been exceptional. James Franco is solid, though I wish the big scene where he discovers Peter is Spiderman had been done better. The film ends with him discovering his dad's old lair, implying very strongly that the next film will have him becoming the Green Goblin.
That should give the next film a really top level villain, which is about the only thing this franchise has lacked so far.
Is Spiderman 2 better than the first one? Well, I'd have to call this one a photo finish. I really cannot choose one over the other.
I think the story is better here, not that it wasn't excellent last time. The whole superhero double life thing was handled great. I thought the Peter Parker-Mary Jane love story was much more involving this time. Doc Ock's villainy made a little more sense than Green Goblin. The stuff involving Harry's desire to get revenge on Spiderman was great.
There are a couple of outstanding action sequences, including a couple that take place way up at the tops of tall buildings. The fx work is better this time, with no dismal rubbery CGI people.
I almost felt this film had too little action. What's there is excellent, don't get me wrong. But I know this film's budget was about $50 million higher, but I didn't see $50 million extra up there. But the non-action is strong, so this is really not THAT big a problem.
Tobey Maguire is very good again. Kirsten Dunst may look ragged as hell in the previews, but in these movies she just projects a lot of sweetness. Alfred Molina is less campy a baddie than Willem Dafoe, but he's also more sympathetic. I still don't think either villain has been exceptional. James Franco is solid, though I wish the big scene where he discovers Peter is Spiderman had been done better. The film ends with him discovering his dad's old lair, implying very strongly that the next film will have him becoming the Green Goblin.
That should give the next film a really top level villain, which is about the only thing this franchise has lacked so far.
7/6/04
(4 day totals, FRI-MON)
Spiderman 2...115.8
Fahrenheit 9/11...21
White Chicks...12
Dodgeball...10.4
The Notebook...10.3
The Terminal...10.2
Harry Potter 3...8.1
Shrek 2...7.9
Two Brothers...3.6
Garfield...3.2
Ok, basically, Spiderman 2 broke every record there is. Its made $180 million in six days, putting it already only a little less than halfway to matching the original's gross. It should go well past $400 million though.
Shrek has passed $400 million as well, and is #5 all time now. The only question left is which of these 2 films ends up on top. I'd still guess Shrek 2.
Fahrenheit 9/11 piled on another $21 million. Yes, it doubled its screens, but its per screen was still over $12,000. It has a legit shot at the $100 million mark. And just imagine how much it would make if most of these know-it-alls passing judgment on Moore w/o seeing the film actually saw it and validated their ignorant opinion.
Based on 4 day totals, nothing really fell far. Best holds were for Notebook and Terminal. Dodgeball is gonna hit $100 million. White Chicks is actually gonna end up being a solid hit.
Next week:
-King Arthur arrives, and the Keira thread gets daily updates on its box office
-Will Ferrell hopefully has his first great comedy with Anchorman
-Alexa Vega (who could whoop Emma Watson's ass!) has a Sleepover. If I was 10 years younger I'd join her.
Spiderman 2...115.8
Fahrenheit 9/11...21
White Chicks...12
Dodgeball...10.4
The Notebook...10.3
The Terminal...10.2
Harry Potter 3...8.1
Shrek 2...7.9
Two Brothers...3.6
Garfield...3.2
Ok, basically, Spiderman 2 broke every record there is. Its made $180 million in six days, putting it already only a little less than halfway to matching the original's gross. It should go well past $400 million though.
Shrek has passed $400 million as well, and is #5 all time now. The only question left is which of these 2 films ends up on top. I'd still guess Shrek 2.
Fahrenheit 9/11 piled on another $21 million. Yes, it doubled its screens, but its per screen was still over $12,000. It has a legit shot at the $100 million mark. And just imagine how much it would make if most of these know-it-alls passing judgment on Moore w/o seeing the film actually saw it and validated their ignorant opinion.
Based on 4 day totals, nothing really fell far. Best holds were for Notebook and Terminal. Dodgeball is gonna hit $100 million. White Chicks is actually gonna end up being a solid hit.
Next week:
-King Arthur arrives, and the Keira thread gets daily updates on its box office

-Alexa Vega (who could whoop Emma Watson's ass!) has a Sleepover. If I was 10 years younger I'd join her.
7/11/04
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
This was a hit at Sundance. It's about this major geek named Napoleon. There is no plot, but that's not a problem in comedy. I laughed some, but the movie only works a little. Napoleon is a character who would be great as a supporting character in a film. But even just 80 minutes of him nonstop is a bit much. And everybody acts in this bizarre monotone voice. Worth seeing w/o much expectation.
KING ARTHUR
I'm practically famous for being a Jerry Bruckheimer fan. You simply cannot touch his track record over the last decade. But I've noticed the quality of his films have slipped since he began focusing on his TV shows (none of which I actually watch). King Arthur is a pretty bad film. It is not unwatchable certainly. The film is terrifically cast. Clive Owen is very good as Arthur. Ioan Guffudd (who's gonna be in The Fantastic Four movie) is solid as Lancelot. Ray Winstone does a great imitation of Russell Crowe. And yes, Keira Knightley is beyond stunning to look at once again, but her Guinevere is central to the film's fatal flaw: the script. This could win my award for worst screenplay of 2004. Everything is confusing. The movie is basically nothing but overwritten speeches about nobility and duty. And honestly, WTF is the deal with Guinevere? She makes zero sense. First off, she's been kept in a torture chamber for who knows how long, then is freed and still looks like, well, Keira Knightley. No smudges on her face, no scratches, nothing. Oh, but she does have dislocated fingers. But in practicaly the next scene she's firing arrows with an accuracy that would make Legolas' eyes bulge out of their sockets in awe. And why is it that she becomes this warrior girl all of a sudden? Look, the girl looks awesome in skimpy clothes and war paint, but to see her tussling in this huge battle borders on comedy. And the love scene is by far the most laughable one since Cabin Fever. The romance is so forced it makes you roll your eyes. And anyway, Keira showed more spark and personality in Pirates of the Caribbean. Generally the film's battles have a very generic feel. After LOTR and Troy, they just feel more and more like the inferior copies that they are.
ANCHORMAN
You wanna see one of the great comic actors in peak form? See Will Ferrell in Anchorman. Again this is a comedy with no plot, but it hardly matters. The whole thing feels improvised. I guarantee this film has more improv'd material in it than any of the Austin Powers flicks. Ferrell is just a genius, and never breaks character. The rest of the cast is actually able to hold their own, even Christina Applegate, whose continued appearance in movies I'd been puzzled by. The cameos are quite funny. The movie's enjoyable lack of interest in logic pays off with scenes like a giant rumble in the streets between all the news teams that's like Gangs Of New York. This is the funniest movie of the year for sure.
This was a hit at Sundance. It's about this major geek named Napoleon. There is no plot, but that's not a problem in comedy. I laughed some, but the movie only works a little. Napoleon is a character who would be great as a supporting character in a film. But even just 80 minutes of him nonstop is a bit much. And everybody acts in this bizarre monotone voice. Worth seeing w/o much expectation.
KING ARTHUR
I'm practically famous for being a Jerry Bruckheimer fan. You simply cannot touch his track record over the last decade. But I've noticed the quality of his films have slipped since he began focusing on his TV shows (none of which I actually watch). King Arthur is a pretty bad film. It is not unwatchable certainly. The film is terrifically cast. Clive Owen is very good as Arthur. Ioan Guffudd (who's gonna be in The Fantastic Four movie) is solid as Lancelot. Ray Winstone does a great imitation of Russell Crowe. And yes, Keira Knightley is beyond stunning to look at once again, but her Guinevere is central to the film's fatal flaw: the script. This could win my award for worst screenplay of 2004. Everything is confusing. The movie is basically nothing but overwritten speeches about nobility and duty. And honestly, WTF is the deal with Guinevere? She makes zero sense. First off, she's been kept in a torture chamber for who knows how long, then is freed and still looks like, well, Keira Knightley. No smudges on her face, no scratches, nothing. Oh, but she does have dislocated fingers. But in practicaly the next scene she's firing arrows with an accuracy that would make Legolas' eyes bulge out of their sockets in awe. And why is it that she becomes this warrior girl all of a sudden? Look, the girl looks awesome in skimpy clothes and war paint, but to see her tussling in this huge battle borders on comedy. And the love scene is by far the most laughable one since Cabin Fever. The romance is so forced it makes you roll your eyes. And anyway, Keira showed more spark and personality in Pirates of the Caribbean. Generally the film's battles have a very generic feel. After LOTR and Troy, they just feel more and more like the inferior copies that they are.
ANCHORMAN
You wanna see one of the great comic actors in peak form? See Will Ferrell in Anchorman. Again this is a comedy with no plot, but it hardly matters. The whole thing feels improvised. I guarantee this film has more improv'd material in it than any of the Austin Powers flicks. Ferrell is just a genius, and never breaks character. The rest of the cast is actually able to hold their own, even Christina Applegate, whose continued appearance in movies I'd been puzzled by. The cameos are quite funny. The movie's enjoyable lack of interest in logic pays off with scenes like a giant rumble in the streets between all the news teams that's like Gangs Of New York. This is the funniest movie of the year for sure.
7/12/04
Spiderman 2...46
Anchorman...28
King Arthur...15.1
Fahrenheit 9/11...11
The Notebook...6.5
White Chicks...6.5
Dodgeball...5.4
Terminal...5
Shrek 2...4.5
Sleepover...4.2
Spidey fell 47%, which is quite a bit higher than the 2nd week fall of the first movie. It stands at $257 mill now, but it may not be guaranteed anymore of reaching $400 million. Granted Spidey 1 had 2 weekends where it was the only game in town.
Anchorman opened real good, though a little below Elf. Still, it confirms Ferrell as a top draw right now, and the word of mouth is bound to be good on this one.
King Arthur is the summer's second gigantic bomb (Around The World In 80 Days is the other). Probably just a blip for Bruckheimer, since this fall's National Treasure looks pretty good. Keira will emerge unscathed too.
Fahrenheit 9/11 fell only 32%, and is now about a lock to hit $100 million. Dodgeball is also just about to $100 million. The Notebook fell only 12%.
And for Alexa Vega, there will be better days ahead. But for now, Sleepover becomes the latest movie MGM failed to make money on.
Next week:
-Will Smith battles robots in He, DJ. I, Rapper.
-Hilary Duff continues to ooze cute in A Cinderella Story, which I do not have the guts to actually go see in the theater.
Anchorman...28
King Arthur...15.1
Fahrenheit 9/11...11
The Notebook...6.5
White Chicks...6.5
Dodgeball...5.4
Terminal...5
Shrek 2...4.5
Sleepover...4.2
Spidey fell 47%, which is quite a bit higher than the 2nd week fall of the first movie. It stands at $257 mill now, but it may not be guaranteed anymore of reaching $400 million. Granted Spidey 1 had 2 weekends where it was the only game in town.
Anchorman opened real good, though a little below Elf. Still, it confirms Ferrell as a top draw right now, and the word of mouth is bound to be good on this one.
King Arthur is the summer's second gigantic bomb (Around The World In 80 Days is the other). Probably just a blip for Bruckheimer, since this fall's National Treasure looks pretty good. Keira will emerge unscathed too.
Fahrenheit 9/11 fell only 32%, and is now about a lock to hit $100 million. Dodgeball is also just about to $100 million. The Notebook fell only 12%.
And for Alexa Vega, there will be better days ahead. But for now, Sleepover becomes the latest movie MGM failed to make money on.
Next week:
-Will Smith battles robots in He, DJ. I, Rapper.
-Hilary Duff continues to ooze cute in A Cinderella Story, which I do not have the guts to actually go see in the theater.
7/20/04
I, Robot...52.2
Spiderman 2...24.2
A Cinderella Story...13.8
Anchorman...13.4
Fahrenheit 9/11...7
King Arthur...6.9
The Notebook...5.4
White Chicks...3.4
Dodgeball...3.2
The Terminal...3
A VERY impressive debut for I, Robot. I thought this might do in the low 40's. This is easily Will Smith's best debut, since this one is ALL him. No big franchise name or anything, just his name on the marquee.
Spiderman 2 passed $300 million, but it still may have a hard time making it to $400 million.
A Cinderella Story did ok, but I think Hilary Duff's lost the title of tween box office queen to Lindsay Lohan, since Mean Girls opened much bigger. Hilary needs to step up and do something with wider appeal. Preteen girls can only get you so far.
Anchorman fell more than expected. King Arthur is going away quickly. F9/11 is one weekend shy of $100 million. The Notebook dropped only 16%. Sleepover fell 73%. That's the biggest % drop I've seen since From Justin To Kelly.
Next week:
-Halle Berry defies the pre-release haters in Catwoman
-Matt Damon in The Bourne Supremacy
-------------------
I, ROBOT
A highly entertaining, smart, interesting movie. The film is easily comparable to Minority Report. The plot is not as complex, but I may have liked this film a bit more. Will Smith delivers another outstanding performance, one of his 2 or 3 best, and boo hoo if he occasionally cracks a joke. Show me any actor who can do all the things he can do in one film like he does here. The fx are very good. What puts I, Robot over the top is how the big action set pieces really deliver, even more than anything in Spiderman 2. The scene in the tunnel where Will's car is swarmed by robots ranks with anything from last summer. Bridget Moynahan is stiff, and Bruce Greenwood sleepwalks through another villain role, but I, Robot is maybe my 2nd favorite film of the summer.
Spiderman 2...24.2
A Cinderella Story...13.8
Anchorman...13.4
Fahrenheit 9/11...7
King Arthur...6.9
The Notebook...5.4
White Chicks...3.4
Dodgeball...3.2
The Terminal...3
A VERY impressive debut for I, Robot. I thought this might do in the low 40's. This is easily Will Smith's best debut, since this one is ALL him. No big franchise name or anything, just his name on the marquee.
Spiderman 2 passed $300 million, but it still may have a hard time making it to $400 million.
A Cinderella Story did ok, but I think Hilary Duff's lost the title of tween box office queen to Lindsay Lohan, since Mean Girls opened much bigger. Hilary needs to step up and do something with wider appeal. Preteen girls can only get you so far.
Anchorman fell more than expected. King Arthur is going away quickly. F9/11 is one weekend shy of $100 million. The Notebook dropped only 16%. Sleepover fell 73%. That's the biggest % drop I've seen since From Justin To Kelly.
Next week:
-Halle Berry defies the pre-release haters in Catwoman
-Matt Damon in The Bourne Supremacy
-------------------
I, ROBOT
A highly entertaining, smart, interesting movie. The film is easily comparable to Minority Report. The plot is not as complex, but I may have liked this film a bit more. Will Smith delivers another outstanding performance, one of his 2 or 3 best, and boo hoo if he occasionally cracks a joke. Show me any actor who can do all the things he can do in one film like he does here. The fx are very good. What puts I, Robot over the top is how the big action set pieces really deliver, even more than anything in Spiderman 2. The scene in the tunnel where Will's car is swarmed by robots ranks with anything from last summer. Bridget Moynahan is stiff, and Bruce Greenwood sleepwalks through another villain role, but I, Robot is maybe my 2nd favorite film of the summer.
7/24/04
Contrary to the buzz, Catwoman is not the work of the devil. It is not a great film by any stretch, but it is two hours of Halle Berry bursting out of and deliciously filling out a leather cat suit. Talk about an easy sell.
The movie has no real connection to any Batman work. Halle's transformation into Catwoman goes almost exactly like Michelle Pfeiffer's. She's weak and submissive, then becomes tough after being killed and revived by cats. The hows and whys behind the transformation make no sense. I have no idea what was up with the cat that kept showing up all over the place. The backstory they try to create also made no sense. And the revival scene is laughable.
Benjamin Bratt tries out a new kind of role for himself. He plays a cop, who falls for Halle, then doesn't know she's Catwoman, who becomes a murder suspect. Oh well, at least Halle doesn't hit him over the head with a rock and kill him like Katie Holmes did in Abandon. Bratt is likable, but that's about it. And Halle's best friend (Alex Borstein, who voices Lois on Family Guy) might be one of the most shrill and annoying comic relief characters ever.
Catwoman's adversaries are Sharon Stone and the Merovingian. They run an evil cosmetics company that's selling anti-aging cream that ends up making people's skin fall off after extended use. Considering how eventually that kind of thing would become very public knowledge and would ruin the company, you'd think they'd try to fix the formula. But instead Stone and Vingy press on and try to kill anybody who finds out the truth. That's how Halle dies.
The Merovingian at least speaks less than he did in Reloaded. But Sharon Stone is an embarrassment. This is obviously her Demi-in-Charlie's Angels attempt at a comeback, but all it winds up being is a career-low performance from a has-been actress who had one hit a decade ago and hasn't been relevant since. And it's not even camp-level bad. But at least Stone gets her ass kicked, something she's deserved ever since Sliver.
Once Halle dons the leather and starts beating people up, Catwoman is undeniably fun. I wish the fx did not represent a regression as far as CGI people but a lot of it is legit stunts too, and the cat angle works well. Director Pitof is far too in love with the roving camera and long establishing shots, but the action does deliver.
Halle absolutely works it in this movie. She's the best Catwoman as far as I'm concerned, even if her material is not the best. The movie does get her character just right, even if it surrounds her with a lot of junk.
And don't let me see some worthless period drama get a costume design nomination next year. Reward the suit, people!
The movie has no real connection to any Batman work. Halle's transformation into Catwoman goes almost exactly like Michelle Pfeiffer's. She's weak and submissive, then becomes tough after being killed and revived by cats. The hows and whys behind the transformation make no sense. I have no idea what was up with the cat that kept showing up all over the place. The backstory they try to create also made no sense. And the revival scene is laughable.
Benjamin Bratt tries out a new kind of role for himself. He plays a cop, who falls for Halle, then doesn't know she's Catwoman, who becomes a murder suspect. Oh well, at least Halle doesn't hit him over the head with a rock and kill him like Katie Holmes did in Abandon. Bratt is likable, but that's about it. And Halle's best friend (Alex Borstein, who voices Lois on Family Guy) might be one of the most shrill and annoying comic relief characters ever.
Catwoman's adversaries are Sharon Stone and the Merovingian. They run an evil cosmetics company that's selling anti-aging cream that ends up making people's skin fall off after extended use. Considering how eventually that kind of thing would become very public knowledge and would ruin the company, you'd think they'd try to fix the formula. But instead Stone and Vingy press on and try to kill anybody who finds out the truth. That's how Halle dies.
The Merovingian at least speaks less than he did in Reloaded. But Sharon Stone is an embarrassment. This is obviously her Demi-in-Charlie's Angels attempt at a comeback, but all it winds up being is a career-low performance from a has-been actress who had one hit a decade ago and hasn't been relevant since. And it's not even camp-level bad. But at least Stone gets her ass kicked, something she's deserved ever since Sliver.
Once Halle dons the leather and starts beating people up, Catwoman is undeniably fun. I wish the fx did not represent a regression as far as CGI people but a lot of it is legit stunts too, and the cat angle works well. Director Pitof is far too in love with the roving camera and long establishing shots, but the action does deliver.
Halle absolutely works it in this movie. She's the best Catwoman as far as I'm concerned, even if her material is not the best. The movie does get her character just right, even if it surrounds her with a lot of junk.
And don't let me see some worthless period drama get a costume design nomination next year. Reward the suit, people!
7/26/04
The Bourne Supremacy...53.5
I, Robot...22.1
Catwoman...17.2
Spiderman 2...15
A Cinderella Story...8
Anchorman...7.1
F 9/11...5
The Notebook...4.4
King Arthur...3
Shrek 2...2.4
Bourne opened huge. I guess the original was a big video hit, but this surprised me. Damon's first real big opening. This one skews a little older too, so it should hold up better.
I, Robot dropped 57%. In an odd way this almost reinforces that it's not just the lame brained action flick so many have called it. This will end up a solid hit, but short of a blockbuster.
Catwoman coughed up a furball. I guess that suit was not enough for people. Somehow this thing cost $100 million (it looks like it was done for less than 40), so it will end up as the summer's 4th major bomb (joining Riddick, Stepford Wives and King Artur). On the bright side, we won't have to worry about Sharon Stone having a comeback.
Spidey keeps going, as does F 9/11 (which crosses $100 million). Notebook might end up outgrossing The Terminal.
Next week:
-Did you know Natalie has a new movie coming out?
-M. Night's Village People documentary
-Denzel goes crazy for Meryl Streep
-Ben Kingsley sells his soul in Thunderbirds
-and Harold and Kumar Go To Denny's
I, Robot...22.1
Catwoman...17.2
Spiderman 2...15
A Cinderella Story...8
Anchorman...7.1
F 9/11...5
The Notebook...4.4
King Arthur...3
Shrek 2...2.4
Bourne opened huge. I guess the original was a big video hit, but this surprised me. Damon's first real big opening. This one skews a little older too, so it should hold up better.
I, Robot dropped 57%. In an odd way this almost reinforces that it's not just the lame brained action flick so many have called it. This will end up a solid hit, but short of a blockbuster.
Catwoman coughed up a furball. I guess that suit was not enough for people. Somehow this thing cost $100 million (it looks like it was done for less than 40), so it will end up as the summer's 4th major bomb (joining Riddick, Stepford Wives and King Artur). On the bright side, we won't have to worry about Sharon Stone having a comeback.
Spidey keeps going, as does F 9/11 (which crosses $100 million). Notebook might end up outgrossing The Terminal.
Next week:
-Did you know Natalie has a new movie coming out?
-M. Night's Village People documentary
-Denzel goes crazy for Meryl Streep
-Ben Kingsley sells his soul in Thunderbirds
-and Harold and Kumar Go To Denny's
7/30/04
THE BOURNE SUPREMACY
This left me with the exact same reaction as the first one, though my expectations here were less. I thought the first half of the film was really excellent. I thought the way Matt Damon did all his secret agent stuff was interesting, and I even thought the CIA suits and their plans were worth watching. Plus there's a couple dandy action sequences. But then once some of the twists start coming, I lost interest. Plus, it is just a mechanical, largely uninspired thriler. Damon is solid, and Joan Allen is very good. The final car chase is very good as well, but nothing about the film as a whole is remarkable.
CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN
Yikes! Thankfully for the talented (and curiously hated on) Lindsay Lohan, this movie came out before Mean Girls. This is really a terrible movie, with absolutely no story, absolutely no laughs, and performances by Carol Kane and Allison Pill that are worse than any nails on any chalkboard. And this movie's mean girl has nothing on Rachel McAdams. Lindsay's not bad, but her character is a pain in the ass too. The only times this movie shows life are actually when she sings, which bodes well for her aspiring music career.
This left me with the exact same reaction as the first one, though my expectations here were less. I thought the first half of the film was really excellent. I thought the way Matt Damon did all his secret agent stuff was interesting, and I even thought the CIA suits and their plans were worth watching. Plus there's a couple dandy action sequences. But then once some of the twists start coming, I lost interest. Plus, it is just a mechanical, largely uninspired thriler. Damon is solid, and Joan Allen is very good. The final car chase is very good as well, but nothing about the film as a whole is remarkable.
CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN
Yikes! Thankfully for the talented (and curiously hated on) Lindsay Lohan, this movie came out before Mean Girls. This is really a terrible movie, with absolutely no story, absolutely no laughs, and performances by Carol Kane and Allison Pill that are worse than any nails on any chalkboard. And this movie's mean girl has nothing on Rachel McAdams. Lindsay's not bad, but her character is a pain in the ass too. The only times this movie shows life are actually when she sings, which bodes well for her aspiring music career.
8/2/04
The Village...50.8
Bourne Supremacy...23.4
The Manchurian Candidate...20.2
I, Robot...10
Spiderman 2...8.5
Catwoman...6
Harold and Kumar...5.1
Cinderella Story...4.6
Fahrenheit 9/11...3.1
Anchorman...3.1
The Notebook...2.6
Thunderbirds...2.6
The Village had a big opening, though not as big as Signs. I bet the hold for this is less, cuz of the BULLSHIT FILM IT BECAME! (review later) And no Mel in this, so the opening could be seen as more impressive.
Bourne fell 55%, which is more than I'd expect for an older-skewing film. It's just about to $100 million.
Manchurian Candidate opened ok, but it's gonna have to hold very well to make its budget back. Catwoman dropped 63%, so it's over. Harold and Kumar flat out bombed, as did Thunderbirds.
Garden State made $185,000, for a $20,000 average. Pretty good. Spike Lee's critically mauled She Hate Me made $57,000
REVIEWS
THE VILLAGE ****TOTAL SPOILERS***
I loved Unbreakable. I loved Signs. But The Village hit me in a totally unique way. For the first time ever, I went from thinking a film was really good, to almost walking out of the theater in disgust. This time the Shyamalan twist is not only lame, but it is so absurd and insulting that it completely wrecks the film.
But early on I was with it. Again Shyamalan draws you in, and I was into the story, even if it was drifting and somewhat monotonously acted. And he creates a couple terrific sequences that had me squirming a bit. And I was compelled by the performances of Joaquin Phoenix and Bryce Dallas Howard, who makes possibly the best film debut since Alison Lohman in White Oleander (even if she plays the least blind blind girl in film history).
And I'm watching the film, and I have a thought. Wouldn't it be a terrific spoof of this film to have the big joke be that, as these people are shielded by these woods, that on the other side is modern day life?
No...that's ACTUALLY THE TWIST! The supposed monsters (which look like porcupines crossed with boars) are not real, and are just townsfolk in suits. On the other side of the woods is indeed modern day society. Now, there's having a twist you couldn't expect, and then there is insulting the audience's intelligence by throwing out a twist so completely stupid and absurd (not to mention poorly motivated in the story) that it discredits any quality the film had before then.
Worst of all perhaps, is that even after Shyamalan reveals this info, he then still tries to wring tension out of a scene with the blind girl being menaced by a monster. HEL-FUCKING-LO? We already know the monster is not real, and we know exactly who is in that suit as well. It is not scary. It is infuriating!
And the film ends with nothing even being resolved. It is a total ripoff of a film, and for Shyamalan's sake, he better move beyond the whole twist idea, because if THIS is all he has to offer, than he HAS nothing to offer anymore.
HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE
This comedy is fairly watchable due to stars John Cho and Kal Penn, but I can't recall a single big laugh in the whole thing, which is essential for a movie like this to succeed. Neil Patrick Harris' extended cameo is pretty funny. Paula Garces is really really hot. But the gross humor is really just gross and off-putting. And there's a running joke devoted to Katie's nude scene from The Gift. Yes, they're real guys.
Bourne Supremacy...23.4
The Manchurian Candidate...20.2
I, Robot...10
Spiderman 2...8.5
Catwoman...6
Harold and Kumar...5.1
Cinderella Story...4.6
Fahrenheit 9/11...3.1
Anchorman...3.1
The Notebook...2.6
Thunderbirds...2.6
The Village had a big opening, though not as big as Signs. I bet the hold for this is less, cuz of the BULLSHIT FILM IT BECAME! (review later) And no Mel in this, so the opening could be seen as more impressive.
Bourne fell 55%, which is more than I'd expect for an older-skewing film. It's just about to $100 million.
Manchurian Candidate opened ok, but it's gonna have to hold very well to make its budget back. Catwoman dropped 63%, so it's over. Harold and Kumar flat out bombed, as did Thunderbirds.
Garden State made $185,000, for a $20,000 average. Pretty good. Spike Lee's critically mauled She Hate Me made $57,000
REVIEWS
THE VILLAGE ****TOTAL SPOILERS***
I loved Unbreakable. I loved Signs. But The Village hit me in a totally unique way. For the first time ever, I went from thinking a film was really good, to almost walking out of the theater in disgust. This time the Shyamalan twist is not only lame, but it is so absurd and insulting that it completely wrecks the film.
But early on I was with it. Again Shyamalan draws you in, and I was into the story, even if it was drifting and somewhat monotonously acted. And he creates a couple terrific sequences that had me squirming a bit. And I was compelled by the performances of Joaquin Phoenix and Bryce Dallas Howard, who makes possibly the best film debut since Alison Lohman in White Oleander (even if she plays the least blind blind girl in film history).
And I'm watching the film, and I have a thought. Wouldn't it be a terrific spoof of this film to have the big joke be that, as these people are shielded by these woods, that on the other side is modern day life?
No...that's ACTUALLY THE TWIST! The supposed monsters (which look like porcupines crossed with boars) are not real, and are just townsfolk in suits. On the other side of the woods is indeed modern day society. Now, there's having a twist you couldn't expect, and then there is insulting the audience's intelligence by throwing out a twist so completely stupid and absurd (not to mention poorly motivated in the story) that it discredits any quality the film had before then.
Worst of all perhaps, is that even after Shyamalan reveals this info, he then still tries to wring tension out of a scene with the blind girl being menaced by a monster. HEL-FUCKING-LO? We already know the monster is not real, and we know exactly who is in that suit as well. It is not scary. It is infuriating!
And the film ends with nothing even being resolved. It is a total ripoff of a film, and for Shyamalan's sake, he better move beyond the whole twist idea, because if THIS is all he has to offer, than he HAS nothing to offer anymore.
HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE
This comedy is fairly watchable due to stars John Cho and Kal Penn, but I can't recall a single big laugh in the whole thing, which is essential for a movie like this to succeed. Neil Patrick Harris' extended cameo is pretty funny. Paula Garces is really really hot. But the gross humor is really just gross and off-putting. And there's a running joke devoted to Katie's nude scene from The Gift. Yes, they're real guys.
8/7/04
Collateral:
Director Michael Mann, whose last 3 films are Heat, The Insider, and the very underrated Ali, keeps it going with Collateral, one of the best films of the year.
Tom Cruise is the top billed star of course, and he is very good as the bad guy here, but this is really Jamie Foxx's movie. Foxx is starting to become one of my favorite actors. I never would've thought he'd be an actor capable of such range. Cruise doesn't go bad often (he did in Interview With The Vampire, which was a terrible movie), but he does it very well. He tones it down too, and doesn't go for the theatrics.
Mann was wise to cast the now fully resurgent Jada Pinkett Smith, and he even gets a tolerable performance out of Mark Ruffalo.
On a technical level, this film is near perfect. The cinematograhpy is superb. I've never seen a film look like this one. The score is excellent. The camerawork is great.
The story has a couple familiar stops, but it is completely absorbing. Mann even arguably outdoes his Heat finale with a sequence in a dark office building.
The film only slips a little when Cruise does things that are a little too superhuman to be believable.
Trailers:
Team America looks hysterical. At last something that will make a mockery of EVERYBODY. And yet people will STILL probably call Matt and Trey anti-American or whatever.
After The Sunset looks like a very solid caper film, with Pierce Brosnan and a droolingly sexy Salma Hayek. And hey, Woody Harrelson in a major role!
Surviving Christmas does not look like Ben Affleck's greatest artistic triumph, but it looks like just the thing to get him a hit.
Tom Cruise is the top billed star of course, and he is very good as the bad guy here, but this is really Jamie Foxx's movie. Foxx is starting to become one of my favorite actors. I never would've thought he'd be an actor capable of such range. Cruise doesn't go bad often (he did in Interview With The Vampire, which was a terrible movie), but he does it very well. He tones it down too, and doesn't go for the theatrics.
Mann was wise to cast the now fully resurgent Jada Pinkett Smith, and he even gets a tolerable performance out of Mark Ruffalo.
On a technical level, this film is near perfect. The cinematograhpy is superb. I've never seen a film look like this one. The score is excellent. The camerawork is great.
The story has a couple familiar stops, but it is completely absorbing. Mann even arguably outdoes his Heat finale with a sequence in a dark office building.
The film only slips a little when Cruise does things that are a little too superhuman to be believable.
Trailers:
Team America looks hysterical. At last something that will make a mockery of EVERYBODY. And yet people will STILL probably call Matt and Trey anti-American or whatever.
After The Sunset looks like a very solid caper film, with Pierce Brosnan and a droolingly sexy Salma Hayek. And hey, Woody Harrelson in a major role!
Surviving Christmas does not look like Ben Affleck's greatest artistic triumph, but it looks like just the thing to get him a hit.
8/9/04
Collateral...24.4
The Village...16.5
Bourne Supremacy...14.1
Manchurian Candidate...10.8
Little Black Book...7
I, Robot...6.3
Spiderman 2...5.5
Harold and Kumar...3.2
Cinderella Story...3
Catwoman...2.9
Garden State: $540,000, for a per screen of $15,000 and a total so far of $964,000. That's extremely good considering the film's only just getting started. Just five more days til I can see it.
Collateral's opening may seem small cuz of Cruise, but The Last Samurai opened to about this same number, and it went on to hit $100 million. This may not do that much, but it should make its money back.
The Village dropped 67% as word of mouth got out on this turkey. Manchurian fell 46%. Bourne fell a lot less than last week.
Little Black Book pretty much bombed. I guess people don't like Brittany Murphy as much as I do.
Next week:
Well, Garden State opens in Minny, but other than that it's just the likely turkey known as Alien Versus Predator. Basically the last few weeks of August are even worse than usual. Nothing's coming out.
The Village...16.5
Bourne Supremacy...14.1
Manchurian Candidate...10.8
Little Black Book...7
I, Robot...6.3
Spiderman 2...5.5
Harold and Kumar...3.2
Cinderella Story...3
Catwoman...2.9
Garden State: $540,000, for a per screen of $15,000 and a total so far of $964,000. That's extremely good considering the film's only just getting started. Just five more days til I can see it.
Collateral's opening may seem small cuz of Cruise, but The Last Samurai opened to about this same number, and it went on to hit $100 million. This may not do that much, but it should make its money back.
The Village dropped 67% as word of mouth got out on this turkey. Manchurian fell 46%. Bourne fell a lot less than last week.
Little Black Book pretty much bombed. I guess people don't like Brittany Murphy as much as I do.
Next week:
Well, Garden State opens in Minny, but other than that it's just the likely turkey known as Alien Versus Predator. Basically the last few weeks of August are even worse than usual. Nothing's coming out.
8/15/04
Alien vs Predator...38.2
Princess Diaries 2...23
Collateral...16
Yu-Gi-Oh...9.3
Bourne Supremacy...8.3
The Village...7
Manchurian Candidate...6
Little Black Book...3.7
I, Robot...3.5
Spiderman 2...3.4
Napoleon Dynamite...1.7
Garden State made $1.3 million, and has now done $2.58 million. It's still just getting going, so this could be on its way to at least matching the $15 million of Napoleon Dynamite.
AVP made plenty of money, but mark my words. If this is half as big a turkey as it looks to be, it will have one of the all time biggest week 2 drops.
Princess Diaries 2 did well, and is already at $40 million. Thank god Anne Hathaway is gonna move beyond such girlie dreck.
Kids also caused something called Yu-Gi-Oh to make the top 5. How sad that it probably already outgrossed Princess Mononoke.
Collateral only dropped 35%, so this is gonna end up another $100 million Cruise film. The Village collapsed another 57%. Its gone from 50 to 7 in 2 weeks. Ouch!
Next week:
The drought begins.
Exorcist: The Beginning opens, which has the distinct smell of turkey.
She Hate Me opens here, though I expect Spike to make a disappointing regression from the brilliant 25th Hour.
Princess Diaries 2...23
Collateral...16
Yu-Gi-Oh...9.3
Bourne Supremacy...8.3
The Village...7
Manchurian Candidate...6
Little Black Book...3.7
I, Robot...3.5
Spiderman 2...3.4
Napoleon Dynamite...1.7
Garden State made $1.3 million, and has now done $2.58 million. It's still just getting going, so this could be on its way to at least matching the $15 million of Napoleon Dynamite.
AVP made plenty of money, but mark my words. If this is half as big a turkey as it looks to be, it will have one of the all time biggest week 2 drops.
Princess Diaries 2 did well, and is already at $40 million. Thank god Anne Hathaway is gonna move beyond such girlie dreck.
Kids also caused something called Yu-Gi-Oh to make the top 5. How sad that it probably already outgrossed Princess Mononoke.
Collateral only dropped 35%, so this is gonna end up another $100 million Cruise film. The Village collapsed another 57%. Its gone from 50 to 7 in 2 weeks. Ouch!
Next week:
The drought begins.
Exorcist: The Beginning opens, which has the distinct smell of turkey.
She Hate Me opens here, though I expect Spike to make a disappointing regression from the brilliant 25th Hour.
8/18/04
Fall movie preview:
SEPTEMBER
Sky Captain and the World Of Tomorrow: Looks interesting, but Gwyneth and Jolie are allergic to doing good films
Wimbledon: Not a big Kirsten fan, but this could be worth seeing
The Motorcycle Diaries: Nat's former boy toy Gael; looks like a good biopic
Vanity Fair: I like Reese, but why again with the dinkin English movies?
Mr. 3000: Wrong time of year for a baseball movie, but Bernie Mac is reliably funny
The Final Cut: Robin Williams last 2 dark flicks were Insomnia and One Hour Photo, can he go 3 for 3?
Head In The Clouds: Charlize's 1st post-Oscar film, in the role Nat dropped
The Forgotten: Good premise, though Julianne Moore has always bugged me
First Daughter: KATIENESS!!!
The Last Shot: Looks like one of the worst movies ever
Cellular: From the guy who wrote Phone Booth, what a shock?
A Dirty Shame: Selma Blair with big knockers
Paparazzi: Britney should've starred in this
Resident Evil: Apocalypse: First one sucked, but I've been awaiting this one
When Will I Be Loved: Yay Neve! Nay Toback!
Wicker Park: Hey, Rose Byrne's in it
OCTOBER
Ray: Jamie Foxx goes for the Oscar, and might get it
Ladder 49: Travolta needs a hit, and might just get it
Alfie: Jude Law again
I Heart Huckabees: David O. Russell's first film since Three Kings
Team America: World Police: I want this to open NOW
Friday Night Lights: Looks like a terrific football flick
Shark Tale: Won't be Pixar good, but should be solid
Shall We Dance: It'd be nice if J Lo were good in a good film. It hasn't happened in a while
Sideways: new Alexander Payne film
Undertow: from the director of the colossal bore All The Real Girls
The Grudge: Sarah Michelle Gellar in a good movie?
Taxi: Half the trailer looks good, half makes me cringe
Raise Your Voice: I'm helpess against Hilary Duff
Eulogy: Zooey!
A Sound Of Thunder: Looks horrid
NOVEMBER
Finding Neverland: Depp has been going strong; from director of Monster's Ball
The Incredibles: Pixar. Case closed
Surviving Christmas: I hope Ben gets a hit
Christmas With The Kranks: Tim Allen playing it safe
Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason: Like Renee, but wasn't big on the first one
Alexander: With Stone and Farrell, it sure won't be dull
The Polar Express: Looked bloody awful to me
Birth: Another shitty Kidman film in which she gives another shitty performance, yet probably gets an Oscar nod
After The Sunset: Looks like a good caper flick, and Hayek is WHOA!
Beyond The Sea: Will Kevin Spacey ever regain his career footing?
National Treasure: Looks like another good Cage-JB team up
Seed Of Chucky: Well, Bride Of Chucky WAS kinda fun
DECEMBER
The Aviator: Scorsese probably gets his make good Oscar this time
Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events: Could be the first Carrey movie I don't go see, looks bad
Ocean's Twelve: A sequel is not needed, but is welcome
An Unfinished Life: J Lo proves again that she can act
Blade: Trinity: I'm currently standing in line for this. Cannot wait
Meet The Fockers: Sequel to Ben Stiller's one good movie
The Phantom Of The Opera: I'm all about Emmy, but this looked iffy
Spanglish: A slightly more serious Sandler
Proof: Haven't people given up on Gwyneth by now?
Closer: Hells yes of course
Synergy: Scarlett!
The Life Aquatic: It'd be nice to see a Wes Anderson film actually be as good as the hype
Fat Albert: Hey hey hey, this is gonna suck
House Of Flying Daggers: Zhang Ziyi is kinda hot.
Sky Captain and the World Of Tomorrow: Looks interesting, but Gwyneth and Jolie are allergic to doing good films
Wimbledon: Not a big Kirsten fan, but this could be worth seeing
The Motorcycle Diaries: Nat's former boy toy Gael; looks like a good biopic
Vanity Fair: I like Reese, but why again with the dinkin English movies?
Mr. 3000: Wrong time of year for a baseball movie, but Bernie Mac is reliably funny
The Final Cut: Robin Williams last 2 dark flicks were Insomnia and One Hour Photo, can he go 3 for 3?
Head In The Clouds: Charlize's 1st post-Oscar film, in the role Nat dropped
The Forgotten: Good premise, though Julianne Moore has always bugged me
First Daughter: KATIENESS!!!
The Last Shot: Looks like one of the worst movies ever
Cellular: From the guy who wrote Phone Booth, what a shock?
A Dirty Shame: Selma Blair with big knockers
Paparazzi: Britney should've starred in this
Resident Evil: Apocalypse: First one sucked, but I've been awaiting this one
When Will I Be Loved: Yay Neve! Nay Toback!
Wicker Park: Hey, Rose Byrne's in it
OCTOBER
Ray: Jamie Foxx goes for the Oscar, and might get it
Ladder 49: Travolta needs a hit, and might just get it
Alfie: Jude Law again
I Heart Huckabees: David O. Russell's first film since Three Kings
Team America: World Police: I want this to open NOW
Friday Night Lights: Looks like a terrific football flick
Shark Tale: Won't be Pixar good, but should be solid
Shall We Dance: It'd be nice if J Lo were good in a good film. It hasn't happened in a while
Sideways: new Alexander Payne film
Undertow: from the director of the colossal bore All The Real Girls
The Grudge: Sarah Michelle Gellar in a good movie?
Taxi: Half the trailer looks good, half makes me cringe
Raise Your Voice: I'm helpess against Hilary Duff
Eulogy: Zooey!
A Sound Of Thunder: Looks horrid
NOVEMBER
Finding Neverland: Depp has been going strong; from director of Monster's Ball
The Incredibles: Pixar. Case closed
Surviving Christmas: I hope Ben gets a hit
Christmas With The Kranks: Tim Allen playing it safe
Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason: Like Renee, but wasn't big on the first one
Alexander: With Stone and Farrell, it sure won't be dull
The Polar Express: Looked bloody awful to me
Birth: Another shitty Kidman film in which she gives another shitty performance, yet probably gets an Oscar nod
After The Sunset: Looks like a good caper flick, and Hayek is WHOA!
Beyond The Sea: Will Kevin Spacey ever regain his career footing?
National Treasure: Looks like another good Cage-JB team up
Seed Of Chucky: Well, Bride Of Chucky WAS kinda fun
DECEMBER
The Aviator: Scorsese probably gets his make good Oscar this time
Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events: Could be the first Carrey movie I don't go see, looks bad
Ocean's Twelve: A sequel is not needed, but is welcome
An Unfinished Life: J Lo proves again that she can act
Blade: Trinity: I'm currently standing in line for this. Cannot wait
Meet The Fockers: Sequel to Ben Stiller's one good movie
The Phantom Of The Opera: I'm all about Emmy, but this looked iffy
Spanglish: A slightly more serious Sandler
Proof: Haven't people given up on Gwyneth by now?
Closer: Hells yes of course
Synergy: Scarlett!
The Life Aquatic: It'd be nice to see a Wes Anderson film actually be as good as the hype
Fat Albert: Hey hey hey, this is gonna suck
House Of Flying Daggers: Zhang Ziyi is kinda hot.
8/21/04
Alien vs Predator:
Paul W.S. Anderson is basically a hack. He blew Resident Evil, which should've been one of the coolest flicks of recent years. But to my mild surprise, Alien vs Predator is not a disaster. It is actually pretty damn entertaining at times.
This is nowhere nearly as much fun as Freddy vs Jason, and the story is completely ridiculous. The way they bring the aliens and predators together is flat out stupid and makes no sense.
The humans in the movie are pretty useless for the most part, but the lucious Sanaa Lathan still strikes me as the next Halle Berry. That she makes an impression in this movie and compares well to Sigourney Weaver is no small feat.
Anderson actually delivers a couple solid scares in the film, but mostly it is just action, and that's the problem. Anderson is maybe the single worst shooter of action scenes working today. Once again he blows all the money shots and refuses to use wide shots so we can tell what the hell is going on.
But the fights between aliens and predators are really cool. Certainly in style this film is more Predator than Alien. Too bad the last shot is a complete copout, not to mention completely impossible.
This is nowhere nearly as much fun as Freddy vs Jason, and the story is completely ridiculous. The way they bring the aliens and predators together is flat out stupid and makes no sense.
The humans in the movie are pretty useless for the most part, but the lucious Sanaa Lathan still strikes me as the next Halle Berry. That she makes an impression in this movie and compares well to Sigourney Weaver is no small feat.
Anderson actually delivers a couple solid scares in the film, but mostly it is just action, and that's the problem. Anderson is maybe the single worst shooter of action scenes working today. Once again he blows all the money shots and refuses to use wide shots so we can tell what the hell is going on.
But the fights between aliens and predators are really cool. Certainly in style this film is more Predator than Alien. Too bad the last shot is a complete copout, not to mention completely impossible.
8/23/04
Exorcist: The Beginning...18.2
Without A Paddle...13.7
Princess Diaries 2...13.1
Alien vs Predator...12.5
Open Water...11.7
Collateral...10.5
Bourne Supremacy...6.6
Manchurian Candidate...4.2
The Village...3.6
GARDEN STATE...3.2
The dog days are here.
Exorcist opened pretty good, but like most horror movies will fall big next week.
Who are the $13.7 million of humans who WANTED to see Without A Paddle?
AvP dropped 67%. Princess Diaries and Collateral held well.
Open Water is gonna become one of the year's most profitable films, even if this is its only big week.
Garden State is up to over $6 million, and is on its way to being a real solid indie hit.
Next week:
-HERO! Hero finally opens!
-Anacondas: The Hunt For A Reason Why They Made This
-Suspect Zero, another serial killer movie
Without A Paddle...13.7
Princess Diaries 2...13.1
Alien vs Predator...12.5
Open Water...11.7
Collateral...10.5
Bourne Supremacy...6.6
Manchurian Candidate...4.2
The Village...3.6
GARDEN STATE...3.2
The dog days are here.
Exorcist opened pretty good, but like most horror movies will fall big next week.
Who are the $13.7 million of humans who WANTED to see Without A Paddle?
AvP dropped 67%. Princess Diaries and Collateral held well.
Open Water is gonna become one of the year's most profitable films, even if this is its only big week.
Garden State is up to over $6 million, and is on its way to being a real solid indie hit.
Next week:
-HERO! Hero finally opens!
-Anacondas: The Hunt For A Reason Why They Made This
-Suspect Zero, another serial killer movie
8/26/04
LITTLE BLACK BOOK
This movie proved one thing to me conclusively. Brittany Murphy could star in ANY movie and I'd like it. I know Little Black Book is not a good film, but the overwhelming cuteness and charm of Brittany makes it a marginal thumbs up for me.
The story is not very good, though at least it isn't quite a paint-by-numbers romantic comedy. The movie basically wastes Kathy Bates, Ron Livingston, and even Holly Hunter (whose performance is often pretty irritating). Half the jokes at least are complete retreads.
And Brittany's character, had it been played by anyone other than Brittany, would have been one of the most loathesome creatures in a movie in a long time. She tries to find out that her boyfriend's been unfaithful, even though he hasn't been and there's no reason to think he has. She's manipulative and mean.
But Brittany is beyond lovable. Take the word cute, and go about 100 stories up, and there's where you might find Brittany. This movie is basically 100 minutes of Brittany nirvana. All the cute twitches and stuff are there. She even has a couple of those giggle fits, and nothing is better than a Brittany Murphy giggle fit.
She's at the absolute peak of her powers, and yeah, I wish she were doing movies that could be good even without her, but in the meantime she's irresistibly fun in this bad movie that she raises to a 6 outta 10.
THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
I never did watch the original before seeing this, but it probably is better. This remake is well made, and has solid performances all around, but it failed to grab me at all. I just sat there passively watching a film I had no real feeling for. Denzel is good as always, though this is not one of his elite performances. Streep is over the top, but I usually find her too mechanical and actressy, so that was welcome. Liev Schreiber is also very good as a character who is neither hero nor villain. And I did really like Kimberly Elise's performance.
This movie proved one thing to me conclusively. Brittany Murphy could star in ANY movie and I'd like it. I know Little Black Book is not a good film, but the overwhelming cuteness and charm of Brittany makes it a marginal thumbs up for me.
The story is not very good, though at least it isn't quite a paint-by-numbers romantic comedy. The movie basically wastes Kathy Bates, Ron Livingston, and even Holly Hunter (whose performance is often pretty irritating). Half the jokes at least are complete retreads.
And Brittany's character, had it been played by anyone other than Brittany, would have been one of the most loathesome creatures in a movie in a long time. She tries to find out that her boyfriend's been unfaithful, even though he hasn't been and there's no reason to think he has. She's manipulative and mean.
But Brittany is beyond lovable. Take the word cute, and go about 100 stories up, and there's where you might find Brittany. This movie is basically 100 minutes of Brittany nirvana. All the cute twitches and stuff are there. She even has a couple of those giggle fits, and nothing is better than a Brittany Murphy giggle fit.
She's at the absolute peak of her powers, and yeah, I wish she were doing movies that could be good even without her, but in the meantime she's irresistibly fun in this bad movie that she raises to a 6 outta 10.
THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
I never did watch the original before seeing this, but it probably is better. This remake is well made, and has solid performances all around, but it failed to grab me at all. I just sat there passively watching a film I had no real feeling for. Denzel is good as always, though this is not one of his elite performances. Streep is over the top, but I usually find her too mechanical and actressy, so that was welcome. Liev Schreiber is also very good as a character who is neither hero nor villain. And I did really like Kimberly Elise's performance.
8/30/04
Hero...17.8
Anacondas...13.2
Without A Paddle...8.7
Princess Diaries 2...8
Exorcist: The Beginning...6.7
Collateral...6.3
Open Water...5
Alien vs Predator...4.8
Bourne Supremacy...4.6
Suspect Zero...3.4
Baby Geniuses 2...3.3
Garden State...2.7
I guess a lot of people were relieved to have Miramax finally release Hero. This thing's all profit for them. I eagerly await seeing this this week.
Anacondas made a little money. I'll bet anyone 13 million that another sequel gets made, though it might be direct to video.
Suspect Zero bombed. Thankfully Baby Geniuses 2 flopped.
Exorcist fell 62%. Without A Paddle only fell 35%. Collateral still could hit $100 million.
And Garden State fell a mere 9%, and reached the $10 million mark.
Anacondas...13.2
Without A Paddle...8.7
Princess Diaries 2...8
Exorcist: The Beginning...6.7
Collateral...6.3
Open Water...5
Alien vs Predator...4.8
Bourne Supremacy...4.6
Suspect Zero...3.4
Baby Geniuses 2...3.3
Garden State...2.7
I guess a lot of people were relieved to have Miramax finally release Hero. This thing's all profit for them. I eagerly await seeing this this week.
Anacondas made a little money. I'll bet anyone 13 million that another sequel gets made, though it might be direct to video.
Suspect Zero bombed. Thankfully Baby Geniuses 2 flopped.
Exorcist fell 62%. Without A Paddle only fell 35%. Collateral still could hit $100 million.
And Garden State fell a mere 9%, and reached the $10 million mark.
SHE HATE ME
Spike Lee's last film was the brilliant and moving 25th Hour, but this film has him back in that messy territory of too many of his recent films. The story has enough ideas and themes and subplots for 5 films, but they don't come together here. It is without a doubt fascinating to watch Lee try to make the film work. The corporate corruption plot is confusing, and is resolved so quickly that you wonder why Lee bothered with it. The other plot about Anthony Mackie's character being paid by baby-hungry lesbians to get them pregnant is actually pretty good. Sure it is preposterous, but it leads to an effective finish. Lee both takes it as seriously as he can, and has fun with it too. The animated sperm sequences are very funny, and some of the sexual encounters are funny too. And hey, the women are all hot, so it works on that surface level too.
The film is miles better than Bamboozled or Girl 6. It is never boring at all. The cast highlights are Jim Brown, Q-Tip, John Turturro and the STUNNINGLY gorgeous Kerry Washington. And once again the Terrence Blanchard score is terrific.
Forget the cries of disaster from the critics. At worst this is an interesting misfire. But it does have flashes of the brilliance Lee too rarely displays.
8/2/04
HERO
It took forever for this to get released, but it was worth the wait. This film is at least the equal of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The visuals is this film are amazing. The fight scenes have that same CTHD flying and unrealism, and they are expertly done, especially the one where they are fending off the thousands of arrows. The story is at first kind of like Kill Bill, but then gets deeper, with twists that enhance the story. And while it may not have quite the emotional pull of CTHD, it is close (that last scene on the mountain top was pretty effective).
I've actually liked a couple of Jet Li's American movies (I'm a big Romeo Must Die fan), but he's much more effective here. I'd hope Maggie Cheung received some sort of awards or accolades, since her performance is superb. And Zhang Ziyi is great as well, and just gets more and more stunning. Say what you want about Kiera Knightley, I think Zhang wipes the floor with her.
It took forever for this to get released, but it was worth the wait. This film is at least the equal of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The visuals is this film are amazing. The fight scenes have that same CTHD flying and unrealism, and they are expertly done, especially the one where they are fending off the thousands of arrows. The story is at first kind of like Kill Bill, but then gets deeper, with twists that enhance the story. And while it may not have quite the emotional pull of CTHD, it is close (that last scene on the mountain top was pretty effective).
I've actually liked a couple of Jet Li's American movies (I'm a big Romeo Must Die fan), but he's much more effective here. I'd hope Maggie Cheung received some sort of awards or accolades, since her performance is superb. And Zhang Ziyi is great as well, and just gets more and more stunning. Say what you want about Kiera Knightley, I think Zhang wipes the floor with her.
9/11/04
Resident Evil: Apocalypse:
Resident Evil was one of my bigger movie disappointments of 2002. It should've been cool, but in the incompetent hands of Paul W.S. Anderson became a big nothing. It also did not help to have Milla Jovovich as the lead.
Well, Milla returns in this sequel, but Anderson is not the director (he only wrote this one), and it is a big improvement.
There's no pretense of anything in this film. It is not art. It is not subtle. What it is is a really REALLY entertaining, violent action movie. It achieves its simple goals extremely well.
Milla's character is now a total action chick, who is basically invincible. She battles the spread of zombies inside Raccoon City, with the help of fellow badass Oded Fehr and my latest future wifey Sienna Guillory.
Holy rusted metal Siennna is hot! One look at her and we now know why the Tomb Raider movies were failures. Sienna shoulda been Lara Croft. She OWNS every second of this film she's in. The comic relief is supplied by Mike Epps, who frankly is a little too talented to be reduced to such a role, in my opinion. And surprisingly, even Milla is decent here. She hasn't been tolerable since The Fifth Element, but she acquits herself pretty good to the action chick mold.
The new director (whose name I don't recall) is no artist, but he keeps this thing moving. He at least has some ability to cut action, and he doesn't inexplicably omit money shots like Anderson did in the first movie. This movie's zombie dogs sequence is more fun. The zombie children scene was cool. The Nemesis character is actually kind of interesting.
The movie of course ends with a potential lead-in to Resident Evil 3. I'm all for it, since #2 was a lot of fun.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find out all I can about this Sienna Guillory.
6/10
Well, Milla returns in this sequel, but Anderson is not the director (he only wrote this one), and it is a big improvement.
There's no pretense of anything in this film. It is not art. It is not subtle. What it is is a really REALLY entertaining, violent action movie. It achieves its simple goals extremely well.
Milla's character is now a total action chick, who is basically invincible. She battles the spread of zombies inside Raccoon City, with the help of fellow badass Oded Fehr and my latest future wifey Sienna Guillory.

The new director (whose name I don't recall) is no artist, but he keeps this thing moving. He at least has some ability to cut action, and he doesn't inexplicably omit money shots like Anderson did in the first movie. This movie's zombie dogs sequence is more fun. The zombie children scene was cool. The Nemesis character is actually kind of interesting.
The movie of course ends with a potential lead-in to Resident Evil 3. I'm all for it, since #2 was a lot of fun.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find out all I can about this Sienna Guillory.
6/10
9/18/04
Mr. 3000:
(all baseball puns intentional)
Bernie Mac strikes out in his first lead role in a movie. Mr. 3000 has a minor league screenplay, and fewer big laughs than any comedy can really afford.
The story is catchy, but it requires you to accept a lot of plot holes. Like, why would it take so long to find out he really does not have the 3,000 hits? And why would 3 hits really be such a deciding factor in him getting into the hall of fame or not?
Mac rejoins the Brewers at age 47, and finds there's a superstar player even more egotistical than he used to be. But in a twist out of left field, about a two second speech from Mac turns the guy into the consumate team player. Mac goes from selfish, to team guy, then back to selfish and then back to team guy. It makes no sense why he'd return to his old ways, except for that the movie needs to be padded about 20 minutes. The finish goes a little different than expected, but most of it is uninspired formula.
Mac is good. Also good is Angela Bassett, though her romantic subplot seems pulled out of a different movie. But I'd sure like to get in her dugout.
Not a lot of laughs here. The movie just unfolds without much spark at all, and then it ends, and I went home. All six movies I saw trailers for beforehand looked better than this.
Bernie Mac strikes out in his first lead role in a movie. Mr. 3000 has a minor league screenplay, and fewer big laughs than any comedy can really afford.
The story is catchy, but it requires you to accept a lot of plot holes. Like, why would it take so long to find out he really does not have the 3,000 hits? And why would 3 hits really be such a deciding factor in him getting into the hall of fame or not?
Mac rejoins the Brewers at age 47, and finds there's a superstar player even more egotistical than he used to be. But in a twist out of left field, about a two second speech from Mac turns the guy into the consumate team player. Mac goes from selfish, to team guy, then back to selfish and then back to team guy. It makes no sense why he'd return to his old ways, except for that the movie needs to be padded about 20 minutes. The finish goes a little different than expected, but most of it is uninspired formula.
Mac is good. Also good is Angela Bassett, though her romantic subplot seems pulled out of a different movie. But I'd sure like to get in her dugout.
Not a lot of laughs here. The movie just unfolds without much spark at all, and then it ends, and I went home. All six movies I saw trailers for beforehand looked better than this.
9/26/04
First Daughter:
I'm dubbing this part 3 of the "Renaissance Of Cute" trilogy that has hit theaters in the last 2 months. Natalie in Garden State, Brittany in Little Black Book and now Katie Holmes in First Daughter. All 3 hit new peaks of on screen adorableness. I'd make it a quadrilogy had I ever seen A Cinderella Story, but I see Hilly has a potentially less girlie flick out in a few weeks. But for now it's a trilogy.
Katie has done far better films. In fact, everything she's done except for The Singing Detective is superior to this. And she's given better, more interesting performances than this. But here she delivers for the first time a real movie star glow. The girl GLOWS. She is impossible to not love in this.
This movie got delayed a while because of Chasing Liberty, and like Chasing Liberty has flopped. And it is almost the exact same movie. Indeed, even the "surprise" twist is exactly the same, only I recall Chasing Liberty actually not hiding it as much. But of course it makes this one more romantic comedy built round a damn deception.
Anyway, the obligatory chiseled man hunk is Marc Blucas, and he's likable enough. Michael Keaton is very good as the president. And singer Amerie shows acting chops as Katie's roommate.
Basically, this movie is the definition of mediocre. It is only worth seeing if you dig Katie Holmes. I certainly do, and as a showcase for what makes Katie so lovable, it works.
6/10
Katie has done far better films. In fact, everything she's done except for The Singing Detective is superior to this. And she's given better, more interesting performances than this. But here she delivers for the first time a real movie star glow. The girl GLOWS. She is impossible to not love in this.
This movie got delayed a while because of Chasing Liberty, and like Chasing Liberty has flopped. And it is almost the exact same movie. Indeed, even the "surprise" twist is exactly the same, only I recall Chasing Liberty actually not hiding it as much. But of course it makes this one more romantic comedy built round a damn deception.
Anyway, the obligatory chiseled man hunk is Marc Blucas, and he's likable enough. Michael Keaton is very good as the president. And singer Amerie shows acting chops as Katie's roommate.
Basically, this movie is the definition of mediocre. It is only worth seeing if you dig Katie Holmes. I certainly do, and as a showcase for what makes Katie so lovable, it works.
6/10
10/2/04
Shaun of the Dead:
Well, I did enjoy this zombie comedy, but not as much as I'd hoped.
The first half or so of the movie really works. I laughed hard several times. But the joke of the movie runs out of gas pretty quick. What's left after that is basically just a routine zombie situation, with a bunch of people hiding inside a room having conversations and arguments.
I really thought the movie should've picked one way to go. Either be all the way campy spoof or all the way serious. It is much better at the former. And it is never scary at all.
The characters are ok. Aside from Bill Nighy I have no idea who any of these blokes are. The girlfriend was cute (as was the other girl), and Shaun is solid, but the fat slob was irritating and mostly not funny.
The very end was VERY funny though, and finished things on a high note.
TRAILERS:
-Seed Of Chucky: This looks pretty amusing, just like Bride Of Chucky was. The fact that John Waters is in it assures it'll be a camp classic.
-Unleashed: Looks like and Ichi The Killer ripoff a bit, but it looks great.
-White Noise: eh, this looks ok
-Saw: eh, this looks like crap
-Blade Trinity: They don't need to sell me, but this new trailer owns everything!
The first half or so of the movie really works. I laughed hard several times. But the joke of the movie runs out of gas pretty quick. What's left after that is basically just a routine zombie situation, with a bunch of people hiding inside a room having conversations and arguments.
I really thought the movie should've picked one way to go. Either be all the way campy spoof or all the way serious. It is much better at the former. And it is never scary at all.
The characters are ok. Aside from Bill Nighy I have no idea who any of these blokes are. The girlfriend was cute (as was the other girl), and Shaun is solid, but the fat slob was irritating and mostly not funny.
The very end was VERY funny though, and finished things on a high note.
TRAILERS:
-Seed Of Chucky: This looks pretty amusing, just like Bride Of Chucky was. The fact that John Waters is in it assures it'll be a camp classic.
-Unleashed: Looks like and Ichi The Killer ripoff a bit, but it looks great.
-White Noise: eh, this looks ok
-Saw: eh, this looks like crap
-Blade Trinity: They don't need to sell me, but this new trailer owns everything!
10/16/04
LADDER 49
This is the best fireman film I've seen, WAY better than Backdraft. Joaquin Phoenix has never been better. The guy actually has more than one expression!
John Travolta's starring career may be done, but he can go on another 20 years in strong supporting parts like this, which he's superb in. The film has good comic relief, but it also manages to be downright sad at the end. Manipulatve? Eh, maybe, but it worked.
FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS
It'd be pretty hard to screw up a football movie, especialy a serious one. But Peter Berg, who's turning out to be quite a solid filmmaker, does a fantastic job with this warts-and-all story about Texas high school football. This is kind of the high school version of Any Given Sunday, where not everyone is likable. Sure, the film follows the sports movie formula pretty close (not a problem in this genre), but it offers enough tweaks to be unique. And it's based on a real team, otherwise a coin toss would probably not be a key moment. Billy Bob Thornton is one of the greats, and here he's in his quieter mode. And I continue to be a huge Derek Luke fan. He's the cocky superstar, but when he hits bottom it's really powerful. The game action is tremendous, and really any major flaws in the film get drowned out by a really exciting big game finale.
RAISE YOUR VOICE
Ok, NOW it's a "quadrilogy of cute." This latest Hilary Duff movie is not great. It is completely formulaic, cheesy, and at times rather horribly directed. I know this, but then here comes Hilary, with her nonstop cuteness and sweetness, and I forget whatever beef I just had with the film. This movie has at least a little gravity to it, so consider it a baby step in Hilary's career evolution. It's sort of like Crossroads, only not as good. Anyway, Hilary goes to a performing arts school to pursue her dreams of being a singer. The story follows literally every pattern you think it would. The last half hour or so especially is sloppy at best. Hilary's parents (David Keith and Rita Wilson) are embarrassingly written and acted. Keith especially is just a son of a bitch. The love interest is pretty disposable. There are a couple of good supporting characters, played by people I've never seen before. And hey, Hilary's cuteness all over the place. And she CAN act too, AND sing. I get pretty annoyed at accusations to the contrary. She's basically getting the same bs criticism that Britney's gotten. Well, her singing (and most of the musical scenes, really) is terrific in the movie, and at the end she sings my favorite song off her new album (several songs of which are in the film). If you rip on Hilary, then the terrorists win. Is that what you really want?
TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE
While the laughs are not nearly as plentiful or as big as they were in the brilliant South Park movie, Team America is still one of the funniest movies in recent memory. It has political stuff in it, but thank the lord it rips both sides! What's funny is I think some people will not even notice how it nails the right. The left gets drilled, as all noted liberal Hollywood stars are here in puppet form, including a couple who I've never heard or seen make any political statements. Has Matt Damon ever been that political? I dunno, but he's the comic high point of the attack on liberal Hollywood. Natalie is NOT in this, though I bet if she'd been on the Kerry beat sooner she would've been. Michael Moore is ripped, although he's kind of thrown in there. The movie is also just a very funny riff on jingoistic action movies. Anyone who's seen Armageddon as many times as me can tell. The puppet sex is pretty damn funny. The action and fights are actually pretty good. And the songs are so funny I want a soundtrack of them all! The songs are better than the ones in the South Park movie. The montage one was actually from a SP episode, but the originals include one whose sole purpose is to rip Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor.
Go see this movie. Don't be an asshole.
This is the best fireman film I've seen, WAY better than Backdraft. Joaquin Phoenix has never been better. The guy actually has more than one expression!

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS
It'd be pretty hard to screw up a football movie, especialy a serious one. But Peter Berg, who's turning out to be quite a solid filmmaker, does a fantastic job with this warts-and-all story about Texas high school football. This is kind of the high school version of Any Given Sunday, where not everyone is likable. Sure, the film follows the sports movie formula pretty close (not a problem in this genre), but it offers enough tweaks to be unique. And it's based on a real team, otherwise a coin toss would probably not be a key moment. Billy Bob Thornton is one of the greats, and here he's in his quieter mode. And I continue to be a huge Derek Luke fan. He's the cocky superstar, but when he hits bottom it's really powerful. The game action is tremendous, and really any major flaws in the film get drowned out by a really exciting big game finale.
RAISE YOUR VOICE
Ok, NOW it's a "quadrilogy of cute." This latest Hilary Duff movie is not great. It is completely formulaic, cheesy, and at times rather horribly directed. I know this, but then here comes Hilary, with her nonstop cuteness and sweetness, and I forget whatever beef I just had with the film. This movie has at least a little gravity to it, so consider it a baby step in Hilary's career evolution. It's sort of like Crossroads, only not as good. Anyway, Hilary goes to a performing arts school to pursue her dreams of being a singer. The story follows literally every pattern you think it would. The last half hour or so especially is sloppy at best. Hilary's parents (David Keith and Rita Wilson) are embarrassingly written and acted. Keith especially is just a son of a bitch. The love interest is pretty disposable. There are a couple of good supporting characters, played by people I've never seen before. And hey, Hilary's cuteness all over the place. And she CAN act too, AND sing. I get pretty annoyed at accusations to the contrary. She's basically getting the same bs criticism that Britney's gotten. Well, her singing (and most of the musical scenes, really) is terrific in the movie, and at the end she sings my favorite song off her new album (several songs of which are in the film). If you rip on Hilary, then the terrorists win. Is that what you really want?
TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE
While the laughs are not nearly as plentiful or as big as they were in the brilliant South Park movie, Team America is still one of the funniest movies in recent memory. It has political stuff in it, but thank the lord it rips both sides! What's funny is I think some people will not even notice how it nails the right. The left gets drilled, as all noted liberal Hollywood stars are here in puppet form, including a couple who I've never heard or seen make any political statements. Has Matt Damon ever been that political? I dunno, but he's the comic high point of the attack on liberal Hollywood. Natalie is NOT in this, though I bet if she'd been on the Kerry beat sooner she would've been. Michael Moore is ripped, although he's kind of thrown in there. The movie is also just a very funny riff on jingoistic action movies. Anyone who's seen Armageddon as many times as me can tell. The puppet sex is pretty damn funny. The action and fights are actually pretty good. And the songs are so funny I want a soundtrack of them all! The songs are better than the ones in the South Park movie. The montage one was actually from a SP episode, but the originals include one whose sole purpose is to rip Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor.
Go see this movie. Don't be an asshole.
10/23/04
The Grudge:
It seems like ages since Sarah Michelle Gellar has been in a movie of any value. Actually it was Cruel Intentions in 1999. But her movies since then have sucked.
The Grudge does not suck, though it's a mild disappointment too. It's another Japanese horror remake, and it is FAR better than The Ring. The Ring was worthless. This movie at least delivers some solid scares, nice understated style, a diverting story, and a quality batch of performances.
The nag with this film is that it takes til the film is half over before we have any idea about the plot. The scares are working (I squirmed quite a bit at times), but WHY were they happening? Even the explanation given is kind of sketchy. We never learn anything much about the house's former tenants, other than who killed who. And the Bill Pullman character is not explained well either.
Gellar is not in peak form, but she's solid. I'd call her efficient. Jason Behr is wasted as her dopey boyfriend. Clea DuVall is always solid, and KaDee Strickland is worth a lot of "yeah babys".
The film does generate more chills and scares than any horror movie in quite a while. The problem is that, after the uninspired last 15-20 minutes, you kinda just sit there saying "is that it?"
I suspect the original film is better.
a generous 6/10
The Grudge does not suck, though it's a mild disappointment too. It's another Japanese horror remake, and it is FAR better than The Ring. The Ring was worthless. This movie at least delivers some solid scares, nice understated style, a diverting story, and a quality batch of performances.
The nag with this film is that it takes til the film is half over before we have any idea about the plot. The scares are working (I squirmed quite a bit at times), but WHY were they happening? Even the explanation given is kind of sketchy. We never learn anything much about the house's former tenants, other than who killed who. And the Bill Pullman character is not explained well either.
Gellar is not in peak form, but she's solid. I'd call her efficient. Jason Behr is wasted as her dopey boyfriend. Clea DuVall is always solid, and KaDee Strickland is worth a lot of "yeah babys".
The film does generate more chills and scares than any horror movie in quite a while. The problem is that, after the uninspired last 15-20 minutes, you kinda just sit there saying "is that it?"
I suspect the original film is better.
a generous 6/10
11/6/04
I HEART HUCKABEES
I can see why this has gotten such a diverse reaction. It's got that whole snotty pretentious thing going on that critics just eat up. But there's no movie in here, so it's no shock it isn't exactly burning up the box office.
I enjoyed it a little. I went with it for a while purely because it is so unusual, in a very Charlie Kaufman way. And it was kind of appealingly light-hearted. But it runs out of gas, because all it is is one long philosophical speech after another. The actors exist only to deliver the convoluted wordplay.
Plus, it just ain't that funny. I thought Jason Schwartzman and Mark Wahlberg were very good. Dustin Hoffman was disappointing though. Naomi Watts looks like a million bucks (in a role Britney almost got...really), while this is easily the weakest performance I've ever seen from Jude Law.
THE INCREDIBLES
Pixar's track record for good films does not end here, although this joins A Bug's Life in that second tier. But there's no shame in not being as great as Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc. The superhero idea can be done in live action, so that lessens the appeal here. But the movie is clever all the way through, albeit not lol funny.
I can see why this has gotten such a diverse reaction. It's got that whole snotty pretentious thing going on that critics just eat up. But there's no movie in here, so it's no shock it isn't exactly burning up the box office.
I enjoyed it a little. I went with it for a while purely because it is so unusual, in a very Charlie Kaufman way. And it was kind of appealingly light-hearted. But it runs out of gas, because all it is is one long philosophical speech after another. The actors exist only to deliver the convoluted wordplay.
Plus, it just ain't that funny. I thought Jason Schwartzman and Mark Wahlberg were very good. Dustin Hoffman was disappointing though. Naomi Watts looks like a million bucks (in a role Britney almost got...really), while this is easily the weakest performance I've ever seen from Jude Law.
THE INCREDIBLES
Pixar's track record for good films does not end here, although this joins A Bug's Life in that second tier. But there's no shame in not being as great as Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc. The superhero idea can be done in live action, so that lessens the appeal here. But the movie is clever all the way through, albeit not lol funny.
12/3/04
AFTER THE SUNSET
This was just a good, glossy fun movie. This is kind of Brett Ratner's thing. Brosnan can do this in his sleep. Salma Hayek works every inch of what she got in this movie. Woody Harrelson is terrific, and Naomie Harris is REALLY hot. This is the kind of movie where how the actors look is really more important than plot.
RAY
Let me be the 9,000th to say how spectacular Jamie Foxx's performance as Ray Charles is. He should win Best Actor in a landslide, unless something comes along that's even better, which ain't likely. And this is a very good film too, not quite the usual sterile biopic. Great tunes of course, and good supporting performances from the beautiful Kerry Washington, Larenz Tate and even the often shrill Regina King.
ALEXANDER
Man, the critics sure ganged up on this one, didn't they? Did Oliver Stone shoot all their dogs? Get a grip. This may not be a masterpiece. It's not even on the level of Troy. But it's a 3 hour movie that never bores, and quite often entertains a lot. You could do a lot worse than that. Colin Farrell and Angelina Jolie are both miscast big time, and each slips into pure camp a few times. Rosario Dawson is wasted...but there is that one scene I really appreciated. I'd say the title of best body in Hollywood is secure in her grip. The battle scenes are very good, and very bloody. And I was involved enough in the story.
This was just a good, glossy fun movie. This is kind of Brett Ratner's thing. Brosnan can do this in his sleep. Salma Hayek works every inch of what she got in this movie. Woody Harrelson is terrific, and Naomie Harris is REALLY hot. This is the kind of movie where how the actors look is really more important than plot.
RAY
Let me be the 9,000th to say how spectacular Jamie Foxx's performance as Ray Charles is. He should win Best Actor in a landslide, unless something comes along that's even better, which ain't likely. And this is a very good film too, not quite the usual sterile biopic. Great tunes of course, and good supporting performances from the beautiful Kerry Washington, Larenz Tate and even the often shrill Regina King.
ALEXANDER
Man, the critics sure ganged up on this one, didn't they? Did Oliver Stone shoot all their dogs? Get a grip. This may not be a masterpiece. It's not even on the level of Troy. But it's a 3 hour movie that never bores, and quite often entertains a lot. You could do a lot worse than that. Colin Farrell and Angelina Jolie are both miscast big time, and each slips into pure camp a few times. Rosario Dawson is wasted...but there is that one scene I really appreciated. I'd say the title of best body in Hollywood is secure in her grip. The battle scenes are very good, and very bloody. And I was involved enough in the story.
12/9/04
Blade: Trinity:
Blade 1 is just about a perfect film of its kind. Blade 2 is just a shade inferior, but it too is fantastic. Blade: Trinity has a lot to live up to, and it mostly does, If it is the last Blade film, it closes out a trilogy with few peers.
Wesley Snipes again owns this role in and out. I wish the guy would do more movies though. The movie gets major boosts (and I guess potential spinoffs) from Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel. I'd have never pictured Reynolds as an action star, but he's bulked up and kills quite a few one-liners in the movie. Some are bitching about the comic relief, but I thought it worked.
And as for Jessica Biel, I'm about to run away with her. She's just sexy. She's gotta join Jennifer Garner and Eliza Dushku as believable ass kicking females.
Blade 3's villains are the weak link. Stephen Dorff and the reapers were far more formidable and entertaining. I'm so sick of seeing Parker Posey bring her grandstanding, talentless ass into movie after movie. At least here we get to see her killed. Sadly it does not happen in her first scene.
And Dracula is a missed opportunity. Drac's not very interesting. The final fight with Blade felt kind of anti-climactic.
The action is quite good though. Nothing here quite matches the bloodbath sequence from Blade 1 or the final fight from Blade 2, but there's lots of action. Everyone gets those cool badass moments that are a franchise staple.
Whistler gets killed...again. Who knows, he'll probably come back again. There are definitely some leaps of logic in this film (especially the very very end, which makes no sense if you think about it). This is more of a good action movie than a real classic, but this is still one of the most entertaining films of the year.
Blade:*****
Blade 2:****1/2
Blade: Trinity:****
Wesley Snipes again owns this role in and out. I wish the guy would do more movies though. The movie gets major boosts (and I guess potential spinoffs) from Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel. I'd have never pictured Reynolds as an action star, but he's bulked up and kills quite a few one-liners in the movie. Some are bitching about the comic relief, but I thought it worked.
And as for Jessica Biel, I'm about to run away with her. She's just sexy. She's gotta join Jennifer Garner and Eliza Dushku as believable ass kicking females.
Blade 3's villains are the weak link. Stephen Dorff and the reapers were far more formidable and entertaining. I'm so sick of seeing Parker Posey bring her grandstanding, talentless ass into movie after movie. At least here we get to see her killed. Sadly it does not happen in her first scene.
And Dracula is a missed opportunity. Drac's not very interesting. The final fight with Blade felt kind of anti-climactic.
The action is quite good though. Nothing here quite matches the bloodbath sequence from Blade 1 or the final fight from Blade 2, but there's lots of action. Everyone gets those cool badass moments that are a franchise staple.
Whistler gets killed...again. Who knows, he'll probably come back again. There are definitely some leaps of logic in this film (especially the very very end, which makes no sense if you think about it). This is more of a good action movie than a real classic, but this is still one of the most entertaining films of the year.
Blade:*****
Blade 2:****1/2
Blade: Trinity:****
12/12/04
Ocean's Twelve:
I actually thought Ocean's Eleven was one of 2001's best films. It was a supremely slick and entertaining mega star vehicle, sure, but it also did work really really well as a heist movie.
The cash grab known as Ocean's Twelve is also slick, but the heist (or heists) here are not the least bit interesting, and so all it has to go on are its stars. Thankfully most of them are in top form.
George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Julia Roberts are all lots of fun. Catherine Zeta Jones sort of spoils the party by showing no real sense of humor, but she looks good. There are a couple of amusing cameos. Steven Soderbergh directs with plenty of zip.
But the screenplay is a mess. The story they came up with makes no sense at all. There is not even a big heist. There's sort of one, then another one kinda later on.
I did really enjoy the scene of Julia playing herself. It felt like they did the whole sequel just as an excuse to do that one scene.
Ocean's Twelve just gets by on star power. But let's hope they don't make Ocean's Thirteen. These people all have far better films they could be making.
The cash grab known as Ocean's Twelve is also slick, but the heist (or heists) here are not the least bit interesting, and so all it has to go on are its stars. Thankfully most of them are in top form.
George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Julia Roberts are all lots of fun. Catherine Zeta Jones sort of spoils the party by showing no real sense of humor, but she looks good. There are a couple of amusing cameos. Steven Soderbergh directs with plenty of zip.
But the screenplay is a mess. The story they came up with makes no sense at all. There is not even a big heist. There's sort of one, then another one kinda later on.
I did really enjoy the scene of Julia playing herself. It felt like they did the whole sequel just as an excuse to do that one scene.
Ocean's Twelve just gets by on star power. But let's hope they don't make Ocean's Thirteen. These people all have far better films they could be making.
12/21/04
HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS
WOW! Zhang Yimou is gonna have 2 films in my year end top five. I might place this just a sliver below Hero, since the story here is not quite as compelling. But it is very good, and the love story is powerful. My one beef with Hero was that there was not enough Zhang Ziyi. No such problem here. Amazing fights and choreography. Beautifully shot. A final scene that's the best of the year.
SIDEWAYS
Critics adore it. I liked it, but I don't see why it's such an awards magnet. I guess if you care about wine the dialogue is great, but there were points I was like "enough already." Paul Giamatti is good, but he plays this exact same part in every film. Thomas Haden Church richly deserves all his praise. Virginia Madsen is solid, but I don't see how this could be an Oscar winner. But it's a good movie, and I really liked the ending.
Some flicks I caught over my latest splurge:
White Chicks: I did laugh a few times, and I adore Busy Phillips, but for a comedy this broad it just isn't funny enough.
Before Sunset: A nice movie. Not a big fan of the first one. Not a big fan of Julie Delpy. Nice natural dialogue, a total opposite from Linklater's self-indulgent Waking Life.
Breakin All The Rules: It is almost sad watching Jamie Foxx in this after what else he's done this year. But for a romcom it's not bad. Foxx is funny, and Gabrielle Union has never been better.
Garfield: Did not mind the CGI cat. I can see why kids would like it. The plot is a waste, but man oh man does Jennifer Love Hewitt glow!
WOW! Zhang Yimou is gonna have 2 films in my year end top five. I might place this just a sliver below Hero, since the story here is not quite as compelling. But it is very good, and the love story is powerful. My one beef with Hero was that there was not enough Zhang Ziyi. No such problem here. Amazing fights and choreography. Beautifully shot. A final scene that's the best of the year.
SIDEWAYS
Critics adore it. I liked it, but I don't see why it's such an awards magnet. I guess if you care about wine the dialogue is great, but there were points I was like "enough already." Paul Giamatti is good, but he plays this exact same part in every film. Thomas Haden Church richly deserves all his praise. Virginia Madsen is solid, but I don't see how this could be an Oscar winner. But it's a good movie, and I really liked the ending.
Some flicks I caught over my latest splurge:
White Chicks: I did laugh a few times, and I adore Busy Phillips, but for a comedy this broad it just isn't funny enough.
Before Sunset: A nice movie. Not a big fan of the first one. Not a big fan of Julie Delpy. Nice natural dialogue, a total opposite from Linklater's self-indulgent Waking Life.
Breakin All The Rules: It is almost sad watching Jamie Foxx in this after what else he's done this year. But for a romcom it's not bad. Foxx is funny, and Gabrielle Union has never been better.
Garfield: Did not mind the CGI cat. I can see why kids would like it. The plot is a waste, but man oh man does Jennifer Love Hewitt glow!
12/31/04
You knew it was coming....
My top ten films of 2004:
1.Kill Bill Volume Two--Emerged as the clear winner after much deliberation
2.Hero--every scene was amazing
3.Spiderman 2--ranks with the best comic book films ever
4.House Of Flying Daggers---way to go Yimou!
5.The Day After Tomorrow--complaining about story logic here was insane, this was easily the best summer spectacle in years
6.Garden State--Nat cuteness hits a new peak
7.Closer--Nat sexiness hits a new peak
8.Fahrenheit 9/11--Haven't watched it since Black Tuesday, but I doubt its lost any of its e-value
9.Friday Night Lights--I loves me a good football movie, and this is one of the best ever
10.Jersey Girl--Maybe got the least fair shake of any film in '04.
Runners up in order:
Baadasssss!
Collateral
The Butterfly Effect (the most underrated film of '04)
I, Robot
Miracle
Ray
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Mean Girls
Saved
Anchorman (funniest movie of '04)
My ten worst films of 2004:
1.Twisted--Goodbye Ashley Judd's career
2.Ella Enchanted--Tacky, creepy, not funny
3.Coffee & Cigarettes--Utterly pointless and self-indulgent. If not for the Molina-Coogan bit, this would've been #1
4.Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen--Thankfully for Lindsay, this came BEFORE Mean Girls
5.The Passion Of The Christ--This barely qualifies as a movie
6.New York Minute--the Olsen twins inept comedy
7.Never Die Alone--Possibly the most repulsively misogynistic film ever made
8.The Alamo--Embarrassingly corny
9.Soul Plane--resurrecting every tired racial stereotype you can think of
10.Mr. 3000--How do you make a Bernie Mac movie with zero laughs?
Runners up in order:
Stateside (although it showed hope for Rachael Leigh Cook)
Taking Lives
The Village
Man On Fire (probably the most disappointing film of '04)
The Life Aquatic (Wes takes a nasty tumble)
Starsky & Hutch
13 Going On 30
Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
Sleepover (I watched it cuz I like Alexa Vega, leave me alone)
I Heart Huckabees (pass the Tylenol)
The following films most likely sucked horribly, so I did not see them: My Baby's Daddy, Along Came Polly, You Got Served, Hidalgo, Agent Cody Banks 2, Scooby-Doo 2, The Whole Ten Yards, Connie and Carla, Envy, Young Adam, Raising Helen, The Stepford Wives, Thunderbirds, Yu-Gi-Oh, Without A Paddle, Shaolin Soccer, Anacondas, Baby Geniuses 2, National Lampoon's Gold Diggers, The Brown Bunny, Michael Moore Hates America, Birth, The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events, Fat Albert, Christmas With The Kranks, The Polar Express
My top ten films of 2004:
1.Kill Bill Volume Two--Emerged as the clear winner after much deliberation
2.Hero--every scene was amazing
3.Spiderman 2--ranks with the best comic book films ever
4.House Of Flying Daggers---way to go Yimou!
5.The Day After Tomorrow--complaining about story logic here was insane, this was easily the best summer spectacle in years
6.Garden State--Nat cuteness hits a new peak
7.Closer--Nat sexiness hits a new peak
8.Fahrenheit 9/11--Haven't watched it since Black Tuesday, but I doubt its lost any of its e-value
9.Friday Night Lights--I loves me a good football movie, and this is one of the best ever
10.Jersey Girl--Maybe got the least fair shake of any film in '04.
Runners up in order:
Baadasssss!
Collateral
The Butterfly Effect (the most underrated film of '04)
I, Robot
Miracle
Ray
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Mean Girls
Saved
Anchorman (funniest movie of '04)
My ten worst films of 2004:
1.Twisted--Goodbye Ashley Judd's career
2.Ella Enchanted--Tacky, creepy, not funny
3.Coffee & Cigarettes--Utterly pointless and self-indulgent. If not for the Molina-Coogan bit, this would've been #1
4.Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen--Thankfully for Lindsay, this came BEFORE Mean Girls
5.The Passion Of The Christ--This barely qualifies as a movie
6.New York Minute--the Olsen twins inept comedy
7.Never Die Alone--Possibly the most repulsively misogynistic film ever made
8.The Alamo--Embarrassingly corny
9.Soul Plane--resurrecting every tired racial stereotype you can think of
10.Mr. 3000--How do you make a Bernie Mac movie with zero laughs?
Runners up in order:
Stateside (although it showed hope for Rachael Leigh Cook)
Taking Lives
The Village
Man On Fire (probably the most disappointing film of '04)
The Life Aquatic (Wes takes a nasty tumble)
Starsky & Hutch
13 Going On 30
Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
Sleepover (I watched it cuz I like Alexa Vega, leave me alone)
I Heart Huckabees (pass the Tylenol)
The following films most likely sucked horribly, so I did not see them: My Baby's Daddy, Along Came Polly, You Got Served, Hidalgo, Agent Cody Banks 2, Scooby-Doo 2, The Whole Ten Yards, Connie and Carla, Envy, Young Adam, Raising Helen, The Stepford Wives, Thunderbirds, Yu-Gi-Oh, Without A Paddle, Shaolin Soccer, Anacondas, Baby Geniuses 2, National Lampoon's Gold Diggers, The Brown Bunny, Michael Moore Hates America, Birth, The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events, Fat Albert, Christmas With The Kranks, The Polar Express
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