Message Board Classics: Movies, Movies, and More Movies pt. 5
8/15/06
The movie is a mess, a moody but incoherent mix of torture porn, mystery, black comedy and drama.
CAPTIVITY
I'm quite certain that, aside from maybe the first and last ten minutes, you could rearrange every scene into any other order and it would make just as much sense. A killer nabs a famous model (played by Elisha Cuthbert, who imo is close behind Jessica Alba as the most scrumptious actress in the biz) and subjects her to...you guessed it...a serious of tortures, all of which feel like rejected ideas from the last Saw movie. The bloody milkshake was pretty nasty, I'll give em that one. Yuck! The film is edited so astonishingly bad that Elisha will be in the middle of one ordeal, then the next moment will be free of it with no clue as to how. There's a lame twist near the end, and Elisha finds out the truth, yet at no point did they show us HOW she could know. Elisha's a damn good actress, but this is a waste. She's got plenty of gratuitous cleavage shots though.
Will Smith, in arguably the best and most powerful performance of his career, plays the last man alive in NYC, some 3 years after a cancer cure-turned-virus has wiped out the human race, and turned many into vampire-like creatures. By day Smith, a scientist who was immune to the virus, desperately searches for a cure.
I love apocalypse films. The very idea always fascinates me, and with this and 28 Weeks Later it's been quite a year for them. Forget the vampire stuff. It's effective, don't get me wrong. Lawrence puts a couple sequences of darkness into the film that go on agonizingly long til you're scared crazy! But the monster sequences are the least effective part of the film. Watching Smith navigate this desolate world is the gripper for me. It's an amazingly varied and deep performance, and frankly it is every bit as nomination worthy as his work in Ali or The Pursuit Of Happyness. And the dog made me cry. Come on, that was SO sad!![]()
The film loses a trace of steam in the last third when a couple other characters enter the picture, and the Shrek scene shoulda been left on the cutting room floor imo. But then it picks it back up again for a powerful finish.
GREAT film, so much more than a popcorn movie (as one review I read dismissed it), and yet not even the best film I saw today!
JUNO
Presenting the best film of 2007!
I absolutely LOVED Juno. I loved the entire thing, and would have to strain to find a single notable flaw.
The glorious Ellen Page is Juno, a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant after shtupping her best friend (Michael Cera, almost reprising his Superbad character, and great as he was there) one night. She decides to have the kid, and to give it up for adoption to a couple (Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman).
This movie had me laughing hard from the get go. The writing (by fellow Minnesotan Diablo Cody) is ridiculously creative. It's definitely in that Apatow vein where the characters seem almost too witty yet feel real. But this is better though, cause its got more heart. I thought Jennifer Garner was really something here. She starts out as a baby-hungry robot almost but comes to be incredibly empathetic. JK Simmons is absolutely brilliant as Juno's dad. I dug Olivia Thirlby as Juno's best gal pal. The thing's just about the best cast film I've seen. Ellen Page of course shines the most, and any award she receives in the coming months won't be enough reward. She gives the most complete and believable performance of the year. Nothing about her gets overplayed. I was already crushing on her big time before this. Now it might be a "Natalie, who?" situation!![]()
Juno has had plenty of praise and all so far, but it's not even enough. It's one of the best and smartest and funniest and most heartfelt movies I have ever seen. BEST FILM OF 2007. PERIOD!
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(ps, caught the trailer for The Dark Knight, and consider me stoked. Looks like Heath Ledger has nailed it!)
FALL PREVIEW
As with the summer preview, I will use a 1-10 ranking to show my own personal interest in each film.
And if you want to know what these films all are, look elsewhere![]()
SEPTEMBER
All The King's Men: 4
Lots of respected actors and all, but this looks pretty dull.
Children Of Men: 7
Very intriguing premise. I usually can't stand Julianne Moore, but Clive Owen is always good.
Idiocracy: 8
Mike Judge's first movie since Office Space!
The Guardian: 5
Ashton Kutcher tries for some more respect as rescue diver.
The Wicker Man: 6
Nic Cage in a horror movie.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated: 8
Doc about the MPAA ratings board.
Fearless: 5
Jet Li in supposedly his "final" martial arts film.
Feast: 5
The Project Greenlight horror flick.
Crank: 6
Something to keep Jason Statham busy til the next Transporter.
A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints: 7
Um, my future wife Rosario Dawson's in it.
The Black Dahlia: 9
Never been a big DePalma fan, but damn does this look great. Scarlett, Hilary Swank, and the now cool Josh Hartnett.
Hollywoodland: 6
The road back for Ben Affleck begins.
School For Scoundrels: 5
A movie about a guy named Roger who can't get the girl. Hey, bad timing! Oh well, it's got Billy Bob.
Jackass: Number Two: 0
Hey Al Qaida, why not attack theaters showing this? It'll do us a favor!
The Last Kiss: 8
Zach Braff doing the Garden State thing again...this time with OC dreamgirl (and my future wifey) Rachel Bilson.
Gridiron Gang: 8
The Rock as a football coach.
OCTOBER
The Departed: 9
Nicholson, Damon, DiCaprio, Scorsese. if you don't wanna see this you don't like movies. Plus it's a remake of a cool flick called Infernal Affairs.
Flags Of Our Fathers: 8
Clint Eastwood doing a war film.
Fast Food Nation: 8
Richard Linklater directs.
Flicka: 6
A true test of my Alison Lohman fandom, as it is a movie about a girl and her horse.
Marie Antoinette: 7
Sofia Coppolla's Lost In Translation follow-up. Supposedly a little nutty.
Catch A Fire: 7
A little film that could finally bring Derek Luke some big accolades.
Lucky You: 3
Eric Bana is a gambling addict and Drew Barrymore is his gf, and Curtis Hanson seems to be going downhill.
Babel: 7
From the guy who made 21 Grams and Amores Perros. No car crash this time, I don't think.
The Grudge 2: 5
Hey, it's got Amber Tamblyn, and she's my future wife.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning: 6
See where he got that leather for his face!
Saw 3: 2
The last one was terrible.
The Prestige: 7
Christopher Nolan directs Scarlett, Bale and Jackman. I'm there on name value alone.
Employee Of The Month: 5
It stars Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson...and god help me I think it looks kinda funny.
Man Of The Year: 3
Robin Williams in a comedy with such a dated premise it could've only been helmed by Barry Levinson.
NOVEMBER
A Good Year: 4
A Crowe/Ridley Scott collabo that looks totally dull.
Deja Vu: 8
Tony Scott again with his insane editing and Denzel. Gotta be better than Man On Fire.
The Fountain: 3
I hate Darren Aronofsky. Looks like a mess.
The Return: 7
Sarah Michelle Gellar out of witness protection and back on the big screen.
Fur: 0
Nicole Kidman sucks.
For Your Consideration: 7
The new Christopher Guest comedy.
Bobby: 7
RFK film directed by Emilio Estevez. Lindsay Lohan plays a duck...a mighty duck!
Casino Royale: 5
Ehh. I think Daniel Craig will be a terrible Bond.
The Santa Clause 3: 1
Tim Allen is the Ed Wood of movie stars.
Come Early Morning: 6
Ashley Judd decides to be an actress again.
Stranger Than Fiction: 9
Could do for Will Ferrell what Eternal Sunshine did for Jim Carrey.
DECEMBER
Dreamgirls: 9
A musical with Beyonce, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy.
Blood Diamond: 7
Ed Zwick directs DiCaprio
Apocalypto: 0
No, not cause Mel's a drunk bigot. Cause the film looks and sounds awful.
Charlotte's Web: 1
Take the kids.
The Good German: 6
Clooney and Soderbergh.
Rocky Balboa: 7
Yeah there's no reason for it, but I'm hoping Stallone has one good film left in him.
The Pursuit Of Happyness; 8
Will Smith in a role that could be just right.
Night At The Museum: 4
Ben Stiller in a Jumanji ripoff.
The Good Shepherd: 6
DeNiro directs Damon and, unfortunately, Jolie.
The Nativity Story: 3
Holy crap, this thing's from Catherine Hardwicke?
We Are Marshall: 7
Holy crap, this thing's from McG?
Pan's Labyrinth: 6
Guillermo Del Toro does a spanish thriller. You should all go rent The Devil's Backbone.
Home Of The Brave: 6
Sam Jackson co-stars with Fitty and Jessica Biel, and no snakes that I know of.
And if you want to know what these films all are, look elsewhere
SEPTEMBER
All The King's Men: 4
Lots of respected actors and all, but this looks pretty dull.
Children Of Men: 7
Very intriguing premise. I usually can't stand Julianne Moore, but Clive Owen is always good.
Idiocracy: 8
Mike Judge's first movie since Office Space!
The Guardian: 5
Ashton Kutcher tries for some more respect as rescue diver.
The Wicker Man: 6
Nic Cage in a horror movie.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated: 8
Doc about the MPAA ratings board.
Fearless: 5
Jet Li in supposedly his "final" martial arts film.
Feast: 5
The Project Greenlight horror flick.
Crank: 6
Something to keep Jason Statham busy til the next Transporter.
A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints: 7
Um, my future wife Rosario Dawson's in it.
The Black Dahlia: 9
Never been a big DePalma fan, but damn does this look great. Scarlett, Hilary Swank, and the now cool Josh Hartnett.
Hollywoodland: 6
The road back for Ben Affleck begins.
School For Scoundrels: 5
A movie about a guy named Roger who can't get the girl. Hey, bad timing! Oh well, it's got Billy Bob.
Jackass: Number Two: 0
Hey Al Qaida, why not attack theaters showing this? It'll do us a favor!
The Last Kiss: 8
Zach Braff doing the Garden State thing again...this time with OC dreamgirl (and my future wifey) Rachel Bilson.
Gridiron Gang: 8
The Rock as a football coach.
OCTOBER
The Departed: 9
Nicholson, Damon, DiCaprio, Scorsese. if you don't wanna see this you don't like movies. Plus it's a remake of a cool flick called Infernal Affairs.
Flags Of Our Fathers: 8
Clint Eastwood doing a war film.
Fast Food Nation: 8
Richard Linklater directs.
Flicka: 6
A true test of my Alison Lohman fandom, as it is a movie about a girl and her horse.
Marie Antoinette: 7
Sofia Coppolla's Lost In Translation follow-up. Supposedly a little nutty.
Catch A Fire: 7
A little film that could finally bring Derek Luke some big accolades.
Lucky You: 3
Eric Bana is a gambling addict and Drew Barrymore is his gf, and Curtis Hanson seems to be going downhill.
Babel: 7
From the guy who made 21 Grams and Amores Perros. No car crash this time, I don't think.
The Grudge 2: 5
Hey, it's got Amber Tamblyn, and she's my future wife.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning: 6
See where he got that leather for his face!
Saw 3: 2
The last one was terrible.
The Prestige: 7
Christopher Nolan directs Scarlett, Bale and Jackman. I'm there on name value alone.
Employee Of The Month: 5
It stars Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson...and god help me I think it looks kinda funny.
Man Of The Year: 3
Robin Williams in a comedy with such a dated premise it could've only been helmed by Barry Levinson.
NOVEMBER
A Good Year: 4
A Crowe/Ridley Scott collabo that looks totally dull.
Deja Vu: 8
Tony Scott again with his insane editing and Denzel. Gotta be better than Man On Fire.
The Fountain: 3
I hate Darren Aronofsky. Looks like a mess.
The Return: 7
Sarah Michelle Gellar out of witness protection and back on the big screen.
Fur: 0
Nicole Kidman sucks.
For Your Consideration: 7
The new Christopher Guest comedy.
Bobby: 7
RFK film directed by Emilio Estevez. Lindsay Lohan plays a duck...a mighty duck!
Casino Royale: 5
Ehh. I think Daniel Craig will be a terrible Bond.
The Santa Clause 3: 1
Tim Allen is the Ed Wood of movie stars.
Come Early Morning: 6
Ashley Judd decides to be an actress again.
Stranger Than Fiction: 9
Could do for Will Ferrell what Eternal Sunshine did for Jim Carrey.
DECEMBER
Dreamgirls: 9
A musical with Beyonce, Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy.
Blood Diamond: 7
Ed Zwick directs DiCaprio
Apocalypto: 0
No, not cause Mel's a drunk bigot. Cause the film looks and sounds awful.
Charlotte's Web: 1
Take the kids.
The Good German: 6
Clooney and Soderbergh.
Rocky Balboa: 7
Yeah there's no reason for it, but I'm hoping Stallone has one good film left in him.
The Pursuit Of Happyness; 8
Will Smith in a role that could be just right.
Night At The Museum: 4
Ben Stiller in a Jumanji ripoff.
The Good Shepherd: 6
DeNiro directs Damon and, unfortunately, Jolie.
The Nativity Story: 3
Holy crap, this thing's from Catherine Hardwicke?
We Are Marshall: 7
Holy crap, this thing's from McG?
Pan's Labyrinth: 6
Guillermo Del Toro does a spanish thriller. You should all go rent The Devil's Backbone.
Home Of The Brave: 6
Sam Jackson co-stars with Fitty and Jessica Biel, and no snakes that I know of.
8/18/06
"I have HAD IT with these MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES on this MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!"
So, you've all heard about Snakes On A Plane, hands down the most bizarrely hyped movie of all time. And now it is out.
So is it any good?
Oh come on, that has never been a relevant issue with this movie. I was eagerly awaiting this movie because I expected it to be bad, and I know I'm not the only one. Everyone knows SoaP is not a good movie. It's about poisonous snakes let loose on a plane for god's sake!
But it IS enjoyable to watch, especially if you manage to do so with a rowdy audience. It is the perfect example of a movie that's so bad it's good.
So am I spoiling the fun if I wish the filmmakers had actually TRIED to make a good movie? There are a lot of gorefests these days that also manage to be good just as movies, and have some quality characters whose fates therefore matter a little bit. SoaP director David Ellis made one: Final Destination 2. But perhaps in anticipation of what the eventual audience would be looking for, he went ahead here and just made a trashy movie. SoaP would be direct to cable all the way were it not for the appearance of one Samuel L. Jackson.
SoaP has no style. It looks like it was made for about ten bucks. The pacing is maybe the worst I have ever seen in a thriller. The characters are almost all shrill and annoying. Hell, even most of the motherfuckin snakes are CGI snakes.
And it takes a long time for the motherfuckin snakes (those 2 words are glued together for me now) to be let loose and start biting everyone. The movie does have plenty of fun times once the motherfuckin snakes get going. Lots of money shots. And it's fun.
Sam Jackson has been my favorite actor for a long time, but he's been consistently taking on worthless roles in worthless movies the last 5 or 6 years. This movie, because of the hype, will likely wind up the biggest box office hit that he's ever had as the main lead, and that's really sad. Now, I at least liked how here he really gets into the trashy fun of it all. He has many of those badass moments that he does better than anyone, all of which got loud applause and deserved to. I now pray he has gotten this kind of thing out of his system and he can get back to making more movies such as Freedomland.
Snakes On A Plane is an unstoppable entity. It is immensely fun to watch, but it is terrible. This thing is sure to be seen at midnight showings for years to come.
So, you've all heard about Snakes On A Plane, hands down the most bizarrely hyped movie of all time. And now it is out.
So is it any good?
Oh come on, that has never been a relevant issue with this movie. I was eagerly awaiting this movie because I expected it to be bad, and I know I'm not the only one. Everyone knows SoaP is not a good movie. It's about poisonous snakes let loose on a plane for god's sake!
But it IS enjoyable to watch, especially if you manage to do so with a rowdy audience. It is the perfect example of a movie that's so bad it's good.
So am I spoiling the fun if I wish the filmmakers had actually TRIED to make a good movie? There are a lot of gorefests these days that also manage to be good just as movies, and have some quality characters whose fates therefore matter a little bit. SoaP director David Ellis made one: Final Destination 2. But perhaps in anticipation of what the eventual audience would be looking for, he went ahead here and just made a trashy movie. SoaP would be direct to cable all the way were it not for the appearance of one Samuel L. Jackson.
SoaP has no style. It looks like it was made for about ten bucks. The pacing is maybe the worst I have ever seen in a thriller. The characters are almost all shrill and annoying. Hell, even most of the motherfuckin snakes are CGI snakes.
And it takes a long time for the motherfuckin snakes (those 2 words are glued together for me now) to be let loose and start biting everyone. The movie does have plenty of fun times once the motherfuckin snakes get going. Lots of money shots. And it's fun.
Sam Jackson has been my favorite actor for a long time, but he's been consistently taking on worthless roles in worthless movies the last 5 or 6 years. This movie, because of the hype, will likely wind up the biggest box office hit that he's ever had as the main lead, and that's really sad. Now, I at least liked how here he really gets into the trashy fun of it all. He has many of those badass moments that he does better than anyone, all of which got loud applause and deserved to. I now pray he has gotten this kind of thing out of his system and he can get back to making more movies such as Freedomland.
Snakes On A Plane is an unstoppable entity. It is immensely fun to watch, but it is terrible. This thing is sure to be seen at midnight showings for years to come.
12/31/06
The TOP 20 FILMS OF 2006
1. UNITED 93
A bascally perfect film, perfectly realized in every way. Not a fun film, but gripping and moving.
2. X-MEN: THE LAST STAND
The franchise didn't really miss a beat with Brett Ratner behing the camera. Great story, excellent set pieces, and Ellen Page in skin tight leather!
3. THE DEPARTED
Martin Scorsese shows us how it's done. My favorite film he's done, eclipsing Taxi Driver. DiCaprio, Damon, Jack and Wahlberg all should be nominated by Mr. Oscar.
4. BRICK
On the surface a gimmick film, but name one murder mystery in the last ten years that's been this involving.
5. LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN
A tremendously entertaining Pulp Fiction knockoff, with the snappy dialogue and good twists, and a career-saving performance by Josh Hartnett.
6. BABEL
Got some backlash since Inarritu again used the divergent storylines and all that, but I think this was his best film yet.
7. DEJA VU
The most creative big budget action thriller in a very long time, and the best film Jerry Bruckheimer's produced in a while too. Denzel was ON. And Paula Patton might be the most gorgeous woman alive.
8. INSIDE MAN
Denzel was ON here too. Spike Lee's talents extend to a conventional film and that's VERY good news. Would be top 5 but the wrap-up was a little pat.
9. STRANGER THAN FICTION
I liked this better than any Charlie Kaufman film cause here there was no off-putting mean streak. Will Ferrell was terrific, and I think I might now be in love with Maggie Gyllenhaal.
10. CLERKS 2
Not as funny as the first one (what IS?), but very funny, and kind of poignant. And Rosario Dawson kicked ass.
11. FINAL DESTINATION 3
Another excellent installment of my favorite current horror franchise. 2006 was actually a pretty solid year for horror movies.
12. V FOR VENDETTA
An overpraised, but on point demolishing of the Bush administration, and you get a cool litle action flick in there too.
13. 10 ITEMS OR LESS
One of the great delights of the year to see Morgan Freeman lighten up.
14. SUPERMAN RETURNS
Wasn't all it could be, but still a very good franchise re-launch.
15. DREAMGIRLS
Another zippy musical, with the performance of the year from my future wife Jennifer Hudson. Just give her the Oscar now.
16. WORLD TRADE CENTER
Oliver Stone restrained himself, and turned in a very moving film. Might rank higher if it wasn't the clear 2nd best 9/11 film.
17. WHY WE FIGHT
The year's best documentary, about why we are at war all the time.
18. GRIDIRON GANG
Didn't re-invent the wheel story-wise, but I think this was the best of a very good crop of sports films this year.
19. THE PRESTIGE
Christopher Nolan is on one of the best rolls of any filmmaker today.
20. THE HILLS HAVE EYES
A brutal and truly unsettling horror film.
Other good, but underrated films:
Click-Sandler's funniest movie in years
The Last Kiss-spoke to me a bit, and Rachel Bilson was de-lovely in her movie debut
Pulse-I thought they got the mood just right
Scoop-Scarlett and Woody were a great pair
Idlewild-hey critics, you're telling me Moulin Rouge was good and this wasn't?
Scary Movie 4-if you hated War Of The Worlds, you cannot possibly dislike this
Crank-just a crazy fun time
Black Christmas-a bunch of sorority skanks getting killed? sounds like a holiday!
The 20 WORST FILMS of 2006
1. HOSTEL
Yes, Eli Roth COULD sink lower than Cabin Fever. The nadir of the torture porn sub-genre. Hostel 2 would probably be a repeat champion next year, but I ain't ever seein it!
2. SLITHER
A total failure, this was supposed to be gross and funny and campy and it just blew!
3. ULTRAVIOLET
A braindead action movie whose only reason for being must've been to keep Milla Jovovich employed between Resident Evil flicks.
4. SILENT HILL
Um, what the hell did any of that have to do with anything???
5. DATE MOVIE
Great idea! Make a spoof about the funny parts of funny movies!
6. A GOOD WOMAN
In which we're supposed to buy wax figure Helen Hunt as an irresistible seductress who could lure a man away from Scarlett Johansson!
7. LOOKING FOR COMEDY IN THE MUSLIM WORLD
...would be easier than finding laughs in this Albert brooks dud.
8. SHE'S THE MAN
So bad I think its weaned me off of the teen movie genre.
9. BORAT
A terrible actor does an unfunny character with an annoying voice in scenes that are obviously staged, and THIS FUCKING THING GOT LAVISHED WITH PRAISE??? HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE MAD!!! This idot makes Tom Green look like Laurence Olivier!!!
10. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
A soulless sequel that only exists to trot out characters from the first movie no matter if they fit in there or not. How sad to see Johnny Depp pocketing a big paycheck this time.
11. THE LAKE HOUSE
This year's The Notebook, only it wasn't romantic at all, wasn't well made and had bad acting. But other than that they were the same.
12. THE BENCHWARMERS
My last Rob Schneider movie, I swear.
13. THE GRUDGE 2
A sequel completely empty of new ideas.
14. RUNNING SCARED
In which Paul Walker tries to be a supercool badass.
15. BASIC INSTINCT 2
Cannot even rise to the level of enjoyable camp.
16. LITTLE MAN
Even White Chicks was better than this.
17. BLOODRAYNE
Incompetent movie, but at least this one WAS enjoyably bad.
18. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT
Time to let the franchise die.
19. MIAMI VICE
That director Michael Mann and this cast would team up for such a boring, incomprehensible thriller may have been the shock of the year.
20. RV
Robin Williams phones it in in this bad sitcom.
Other noteworthy bad movies (let's be MEAN!):
FIREWALL: did Harrison Ford think THIS would put him back on the A-list?
JUST MY LUCK: Lindsay had a really bad year and did not need this one.
JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE: In which the cheating guy is the victim and the cheatees who want revenge are the villains.
THE BREAK-UP: 2 hours of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston yelling at each other.
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA: Hooray for superficiality!!!
1. UNITED 93
A bascally perfect film, perfectly realized in every way. Not a fun film, but gripping and moving.
2. X-MEN: THE LAST STAND
The franchise didn't really miss a beat with Brett Ratner behing the camera. Great story, excellent set pieces, and Ellen Page in skin tight leather!
3. THE DEPARTED
Martin Scorsese shows us how it's done. My favorite film he's done, eclipsing Taxi Driver. DiCaprio, Damon, Jack and Wahlberg all should be nominated by Mr. Oscar.
4. BRICK
On the surface a gimmick film, but name one murder mystery in the last ten years that's been this involving.
5. LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN
A tremendously entertaining Pulp Fiction knockoff, with the snappy dialogue and good twists, and a career-saving performance by Josh Hartnett.
6. BABEL
Got some backlash since Inarritu again used the divergent storylines and all that, but I think this was his best film yet.
7. DEJA VU
The most creative big budget action thriller in a very long time, and the best film Jerry Bruckheimer's produced in a while too. Denzel was ON. And Paula Patton might be the most gorgeous woman alive.
8. INSIDE MAN
Denzel was ON here too. Spike Lee's talents extend to a conventional film and that's VERY good news. Would be top 5 but the wrap-up was a little pat.
9. STRANGER THAN FICTION
I liked this better than any Charlie Kaufman film cause here there was no off-putting mean streak. Will Ferrell was terrific, and I think I might now be in love with Maggie Gyllenhaal.
10. CLERKS 2
Not as funny as the first one (what IS?), but very funny, and kind of poignant. And Rosario Dawson kicked ass.
11. FINAL DESTINATION 3
Another excellent installment of my favorite current horror franchise. 2006 was actually a pretty solid year for horror movies.
12. V FOR VENDETTA
An overpraised, but on point demolishing of the Bush administration, and you get a cool litle action flick in there too.
13. 10 ITEMS OR LESS
One of the great delights of the year to see Morgan Freeman lighten up.
14. SUPERMAN RETURNS
Wasn't all it could be, but still a very good franchise re-launch.
15. DREAMGIRLS
Another zippy musical, with the performance of the year from my future wife Jennifer Hudson. Just give her the Oscar now.
16. WORLD TRADE CENTER
Oliver Stone restrained himself, and turned in a very moving film. Might rank higher if it wasn't the clear 2nd best 9/11 film.
17. WHY WE FIGHT
The year's best documentary, about why we are at war all the time.
18. GRIDIRON GANG
Didn't re-invent the wheel story-wise, but I think this was the best of a very good crop of sports films this year.
19. THE PRESTIGE
Christopher Nolan is on one of the best rolls of any filmmaker today.
20. THE HILLS HAVE EYES
A brutal and truly unsettling horror film.
Other good, but underrated films:
Click-Sandler's funniest movie in years
The Last Kiss-spoke to me a bit, and Rachel Bilson was de-lovely in her movie debut
Pulse-I thought they got the mood just right
Scoop-Scarlett and Woody were a great pair
Idlewild-hey critics, you're telling me Moulin Rouge was good and this wasn't?
Scary Movie 4-if you hated War Of The Worlds, you cannot possibly dislike this
Crank-just a crazy fun time
Black Christmas-a bunch of sorority skanks getting killed? sounds like a holiday!
The 20 WORST FILMS of 2006
1. HOSTEL
Yes, Eli Roth COULD sink lower than Cabin Fever. The nadir of the torture porn sub-genre. Hostel 2 would probably be a repeat champion next year, but I ain't ever seein it!
2. SLITHER
A total failure, this was supposed to be gross and funny and campy and it just blew!
3. ULTRAVIOLET
A braindead action movie whose only reason for being must've been to keep Milla Jovovich employed between Resident Evil flicks.
4. SILENT HILL
Um, what the hell did any of that have to do with anything???
5. DATE MOVIE
Great idea! Make a spoof about the funny parts of funny movies!
6. A GOOD WOMAN
In which we're supposed to buy wax figure Helen Hunt as an irresistible seductress who could lure a man away from Scarlett Johansson!
7. LOOKING FOR COMEDY IN THE MUSLIM WORLD
...would be easier than finding laughs in this Albert brooks dud.
8. SHE'S THE MAN
So bad I think its weaned me off of the teen movie genre.
9. BORAT
A terrible actor does an unfunny character with an annoying voice in scenes that are obviously staged, and THIS FUCKING THING GOT LAVISHED WITH PRAISE??? HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE MAD!!! This idot makes Tom Green look like Laurence Olivier!!!
10. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
A soulless sequel that only exists to trot out characters from the first movie no matter if they fit in there or not. How sad to see Johnny Depp pocketing a big paycheck this time.
11. THE LAKE HOUSE
This year's The Notebook, only it wasn't romantic at all, wasn't well made and had bad acting. But other than that they were the same.
12. THE BENCHWARMERS
My last Rob Schneider movie, I swear.
13. THE GRUDGE 2
A sequel completely empty of new ideas.
14. RUNNING SCARED
In which Paul Walker tries to be a supercool badass.
15. BASIC INSTINCT 2
Cannot even rise to the level of enjoyable camp.
16. LITTLE MAN
Even White Chicks was better than this.
17. BLOODRAYNE
Incompetent movie, but at least this one WAS enjoyably bad.
18. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT
Time to let the franchise die.
19. MIAMI VICE
That director Michael Mann and this cast would team up for such a boring, incomprehensible thriller may have been the shock of the year.
20. RV
Robin Williams phones it in in this bad sitcom.
Other noteworthy bad movies (let's be MEAN!):
FIREWALL: did Harrison Ford think THIS would put him back on the A-list?
JUST MY LUCK: Lindsay had a really bad year and did not need this one.
JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE: In which the cheating guy is the victim and the cheatees who want revenge are the villains.
THE BREAK-UP: 2 hours of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston yelling at each other.
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA: Hooray for superficiality!!!
4/14/07
(In order of quality)
GRINDHOUSE
AWESOME! True, if you pull this apart it's maybe not so great. Planet Terror is a major step back artistically for Robert Rodriguez following Sin City (the stripper shoulda died), and Death Proof, while a GREAT film, is not on the level of Kill Bill. But the overall presentation of Grindhouse is just fantastic and I loved every second of it! The phony trailers were absolutely perfect! Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu! The scratched prints, the missing reels (yet they just HAD to be the Rose McGowan--welcome back--sex scene and the lap dance by the absurdly hot Vanessa Ferlito). I got to oogle Roasrio Dawson, who has now shown that she is a PERFECT fit to utter dialogue written by both Tarantino AND Kevin Smith! I LOVE this woman! Kurt Russell was a badass again! Sayid from Lost got his head blown off! Tom Savini was in it! Bruce Willis turned into a mutated glob! (oh wait, that was the Live Free Or Die Hard trailer) I don't care that the film was a supposed "flop." If the masses would rather waste their money on bullshit like 300 then they are fucking stupid. Long live the Grindhouse!
REIGN OVER ME
Sandler's good in this, he really is. He has a couple really emotional scenes and at least *I* didn't watch em going, "wow, Adam Sandler's crying." Don Cheadle tops him though in another performance confirming he's one of the great actors on the planet. The rest of the film besides them is a mess though.
THE LOOKOUT
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the actor who should play me in my biopic. He's amazing again here, although this heist film is kind of cold and generic. Matthew Goode is kind of one-note as the "charming" bad guy, and Isla Fisher from Wedding Crashers is hot but cliched as the untrustworthy stripper. I guess that cliches gotta come from somewhere! Jeff Daniels is great though as Levitt's bling buddy.
SHOOTER
I got a man crush on Mark Wahlberg, and he's all tough and cool here. Kind of a silly film though, albeit with some good action and some Kate Mara cuteness.
BLADES OF GLORY
Will Ferrell's last 2 movies (Talladega Nights and Stranger Than Fiction) were so good that it's disappointing to see him take a big step back again with this weak skating comedy. It's all gay jokes and clothing jokes and a lazy story. And Jon Heder just SUCKS! I'm sorry, he's just terribly unfunny and unpleasant. And unlike Will's best comedies, there are no scene stealing supporting characters. All the bit characters here are lame.
PERFECT STRANGER
A soulless, slick thriller. I'll give the film credit for having a surprise ending...but then again it hinges on a revelation that we never learn the first thing about UNTIL the end, so no one but the screenwriter could possibly guess it. I can oogle Halle Berry all day long, and I'm not sure she's ever been more stunning. Her performance is good too, but Bruce Willis is just a bore. He's supposed to be all suave and charming, but he looks like all he wants to do is go back to the set of Planet Terror.
GRINDHOUSE
AWESOME! True, if you pull this apart it's maybe not so great. Planet Terror is a major step back artistically for Robert Rodriguez following Sin City (the stripper shoulda died), and Death Proof, while a GREAT film, is not on the level of Kill Bill. But the overall presentation of Grindhouse is just fantastic and I loved every second of it! The phony trailers were absolutely perfect! Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu! The scratched prints, the missing reels (yet they just HAD to be the Rose McGowan--welcome back--sex scene and the lap dance by the absurdly hot Vanessa Ferlito). I got to oogle Roasrio Dawson, who has now shown that she is a PERFECT fit to utter dialogue written by both Tarantino AND Kevin Smith! I LOVE this woman! Kurt Russell was a badass again! Sayid from Lost got his head blown off! Tom Savini was in it! Bruce Willis turned into a mutated glob! (oh wait, that was the Live Free Or Die Hard trailer) I don't care that the film was a supposed "flop." If the masses would rather waste their money on bullshit like 300 then they are fucking stupid. Long live the Grindhouse!
REIGN OVER ME
Sandler's good in this, he really is. He has a couple really emotional scenes and at least *I* didn't watch em going, "wow, Adam Sandler's crying." Don Cheadle tops him though in another performance confirming he's one of the great actors on the planet. The rest of the film besides them is a mess though.
THE LOOKOUT
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the actor who should play me in my biopic. He's amazing again here, although this heist film is kind of cold and generic. Matthew Goode is kind of one-note as the "charming" bad guy, and Isla Fisher from Wedding Crashers is hot but cliched as the untrustworthy stripper. I guess that cliches gotta come from somewhere! Jeff Daniels is great though as Levitt's bling buddy.
SHOOTER
I got a man crush on Mark Wahlberg, and he's all tough and cool here. Kind of a silly film though, albeit with some good action and some Kate Mara cuteness.
BLADES OF GLORY
Will Ferrell's last 2 movies (Talladega Nights and Stranger Than Fiction) were so good that it's disappointing to see him take a big step back again with this weak skating comedy. It's all gay jokes and clothing jokes and a lazy story. And Jon Heder just SUCKS! I'm sorry, he's just terribly unfunny and unpleasant. And unlike Will's best comedies, there are no scene stealing supporting characters. All the bit characters here are lame.
PERFECT STRANGER
A soulless, slick thriller. I'll give the film credit for having a surprise ending...but then again it hinges on a revelation that we never learn the first thing about UNTIL the end, so no one but the screenwriter could possibly guess it. I can oogle Halle Berry all day long, and I'm not sure she's ever been more stunning. Her performance is good too, but Bruce Willis is just a bore. He's supposed to be all suave and charming, but he looks like all he wants to do is go back to the set of Planet Terror.
4/22/07
VACANCY
I really dug this one. This was a really dark and creepy thriller about a couple who stay at a motel and have to fend off a bunch of sickos. Luke Wilson and the yummilicious Kate Beckinsale are the couple and they're very good. This is a slow burn. The scares don't come for a while, and they aren't even IN the room til the film's half over. But the extra lead time makes you care. I liked how generally the film avoids standard genre cliches, and how the stuff that happens in the film is more or less very realistic. I thought the ending pussied out a little, but this is overall a real solid effort.
FRACTURE
Obviously one cannot help but enjoy seeing Anthony Hopkins do a variation on Hannibal. He has a blast, and Ryan Gosling is almost his match. The story is pretty good. It's at least structured differently, although it does lose steam at about halftime. This one too kind of went for a cheaper ending. A fine supporting cast here as well.
HALF NELSON
Bored me. Sorry, I know Gosling's good, and that Shareeka Epps is excellent too. On her end especially it's a pretty distinctive performance. Gosling doesn't go for any theatrics, and on one hand that might be good, but it contibuted to the film failing to grab my interest.
IN THE LAND OF WOMEN
I really really liked this film, and I found more in common here than in any recent film. It's a lot like Garden State. You sense this is a film that the writer/director penned after seeing that film. Now of couse this one lacks the Natness, but it has a better version of Zach Braff in my boy Adam Brody, who so embodies a part of my personality (as he did on The OC too, but here it's more serious and grounded) that I couldn't help but see this as a reflection of my life a little. And indeed a few passages of dialogue are so spot on with what I've been going through that my jaw almost dropped. Brody's great. Meg Ryan is the best she's been in a long time, and I have difficulty taking my eyes off of Kristen Stewart. She's captivating, and has come a long way from Panic Room (where I couldn't tell if she was a boy or girl).
I really dug this one. This was a really dark and creepy thriller about a couple who stay at a motel and have to fend off a bunch of sickos. Luke Wilson and the yummilicious Kate Beckinsale are the couple and they're very good. This is a slow burn. The scares don't come for a while, and they aren't even IN the room til the film's half over. But the extra lead time makes you care. I liked how generally the film avoids standard genre cliches, and how the stuff that happens in the film is more or less very realistic. I thought the ending pussied out a little, but this is overall a real solid effort.
FRACTURE
Obviously one cannot help but enjoy seeing Anthony Hopkins do a variation on Hannibal. He has a blast, and Ryan Gosling is almost his match. The story is pretty good. It's at least structured differently, although it does lose steam at about halftime. This one too kind of went for a cheaper ending. A fine supporting cast here as well.
HALF NELSON
Bored me. Sorry, I know Gosling's good, and that Shareeka Epps is excellent too. On her end especially it's a pretty distinctive performance. Gosling doesn't go for any theatrics, and on one hand that might be good, but it contibuted to the film failing to grab my interest.
IN THE LAND OF WOMEN
I really really liked this film, and I found more in common here than in any recent film. It's a lot like Garden State. You sense this is a film that the writer/director penned after seeing that film. Now of couse this one lacks the Natness, but it has a better version of Zach Braff in my boy Adam Brody, who so embodies a part of my personality (as he did on The OC too, but here it's more serious and grounded) that I couldn't help but see this as a reflection of my life a little. And indeed a few passages of dialogue are so spot on with what I've been going through that my jaw almost dropped. Brody's great. Meg Ryan is the best she's been in a long time, and I have difficulty taking my eyes off of Kristen Stewart. She's captivating, and has come a long way from Panic Room (where I couldn't tell if she was a boy or girl).
5/4/07
Arguably THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF MY MOVIE FAN LIFE!
I'm just out of the film, but I'm still in a state of shock at how bad Spiderman 3 is! I have not been so letdown since The Matrix Reloaded.
The story is a mess, with countless plot points that make no sense, characters who are forced into existence regardless of logic, unresolved characters, some almost insultingly inapporpriate bits of humor, and any second of Peter Parker the stud.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SAM RAIMI??? How could he take the franchise he built into something fantastic, and drive it into the ground like this?
If you see the film in a packed audience (as I did at tonight's midnight showing), you're likely to hear snickering the whole time. My friends I saw it with were laughing at all the relentless crying by everybody, but that part's acceptable to me. Spiderman 1 & 2 had emotion that may have been hokey, but it kind of worked.
But WHY GOD WHY does Raimi give us all these scenes of Peter strutting around the streets of NY, doing gun points at women, and gyrating like a god damn idiot??? WHAT IS THIS SHIT DOING IN A SPIDERMAN FILM???? I know Peter's been taken over by the black goo, but he's acting like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. And the jazz club scene might be the most godawful piece of shit I have ever seen (except when he smacked MJ, cuz that bitch deserved it).
Oh, and about MJ, so much for her being all sweet and lovable. She's a harpie this whole film, totally unlikable, still looking like a rat, selfish as hell ("Oh Peter you can't be Spiderman, you have to stay here and listen to me mope about my dead acting career"). It's no wonder his eyes stray to Gwen Stacy.
Bryce Dallas Howard is BEAUTIFUL as a blonde, but after a promising start her character basically vanishes from sight.
The storytelling in SM3 is just astonishingly sloppy. Some butler guy who we know damn well did not exist 2 films ago pops up here just so he can tell Harry that Peter did not kill his father. The black goo just appears from the sky, then catches a ride on Peter's bike, and for some reason sits in his apartment for a week before deciding to attach itself to him and make him the black-suited Spidey. Harry opens the film out for blood, then bumps his head and has amnesia for half the film. Not sure why losing his memory also makes Harry a flaming homosexual. And oh god, the kitchen dance scene...let us never speak of this again. Spiderman 3 seriously has a couple of the WORST SCENES IN FILM HISTORY!
The villains all hold promise and occasionally fulfill it, but one is forgotten for a long stretch so another gets time. Sandman's backstory is underdeveloped, but it's always good to have bad guys who aren't all bad. Venom doesn't appear until the last half hour, which leaves almost no time to go anywhere. And Goblin Deux has amnesia for most of the damn film. And even after that passes (funny how Willen Dafoe's hair changes in the afterlife) he doesn't do much.
The performances are poor. Dunst is just terrible. Maguire just cannot convincingly play the asshole version of Peter, and his suave goo-infected persona is a joke. When he's allowed to be angry, James Franco is actually pretty good, but then he's a neutered puppy who paints and cooks for half the film. Topher Grace is probably the best performer in the film. This guy really has talent. Thomas Haden Church is alright. Rosemary Harris gets just a couple scenes here, and her absence is noticable. I enjoyed the Bruce Campbell and Stan Lee cameos, but what do they really have to do with anything?
What amounts to the film's watchable parts are the action and the effects, and both ARE outstanding. That first mega fight between Peter and Harry was amazing. I loved the action the whole film. The fx work could win the Oscar. Sandman is unique enough to not just be Mummy-like.
The final sequence, where Peter and Harry team up to fight Venom and Sandman manages to be cool despite the HORRIBLE decision to have the battle narrated by a TV reporter (plus some of that inappropriate humor).
The film stumbles to a close. Harry dies after saying some hokey stuff, Sandman is let go and forgotten about, and Peter and MJ slowdance as the credits roll.
The fanboys are gonna EVISCERATE this film, and it is totally warranted.
Spiderman: 9
Spiderman 2: 9
Spiderman 3: 3
I'm just out of the film, but I'm still in a state of shock at how bad Spiderman 3 is! I have not been so letdown since The Matrix Reloaded.
The story is a mess, with countless plot points that make no sense, characters who are forced into existence regardless of logic, unresolved characters, some almost insultingly inapporpriate bits of humor, and any second of Peter Parker the stud.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO SAM RAIMI??? How could he take the franchise he built into something fantastic, and drive it into the ground like this?
If you see the film in a packed audience (as I did at tonight's midnight showing), you're likely to hear snickering the whole time. My friends I saw it with were laughing at all the relentless crying by everybody, but that part's acceptable to me. Spiderman 1 & 2 had emotion that may have been hokey, but it kind of worked.
But WHY GOD WHY does Raimi give us all these scenes of Peter strutting around the streets of NY, doing gun points at women, and gyrating like a god damn idiot??? WHAT IS THIS SHIT DOING IN A SPIDERMAN FILM???? I know Peter's been taken over by the black goo, but he's acting like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. And the jazz club scene might be the most godawful piece of shit I have ever seen (except when he smacked MJ, cuz that bitch deserved it).
Oh, and about MJ, so much for her being all sweet and lovable. She's a harpie this whole film, totally unlikable, still looking like a rat, selfish as hell ("Oh Peter you can't be Spiderman, you have to stay here and listen to me mope about my dead acting career"). It's no wonder his eyes stray to Gwen Stacy.
Bryce Dallas Howard is BEAUTIFUL as a blonde, but after a promising start her character basically vanishes from sight.
The storytelling in SM3 is just astonishingly sloppy. Some butler guy who we know damn well did not exist 2 films ago pops up here just so he can tell Harry that Peter did not kill his father. The black goo just appears from the sky, then catches a ride on Peter's bike, and for some reason sits in his apartment for a week before deciding to attach itself to him and make him the black-suited Spidey. Harry opens the film out for blood, then bumps his head and has amnesia for half the film. Not sure why losing his memory also makes Harry a flaming homosexual. And oh god, the kitchen dance scene...let us never speak of this again. Spiderman 3 seriously has a couple of the WORST SCENES IN FILM HISTORY!
The villains all hold promise and occasionally fulfill it, but one is forgotten for a long stretch so another gets time. Sandman's backstory is underdeveloped, but it's always good to have bad guys who aren't all bad. Venom doesn't appear until the last half hour, which leaves almost no time to go anywhere. And Goblin Deux has amnesia for most of the damn film. And even after that passes (funny how Willen Dafoe's hair changes in the afterlife) he doesn't do much.
The performances are poor. Dunst is just terrible. Maguire just cannot convincingly play the asshole version of Peter, and his suave goo-infected persona is a joke. When he's allowed to be angry, James Franco is actually pretty good, but then he's a neutered puppy who paints and cooks for half the film. Topher Grace is probably the best performer in the film. This guy really has talent. Thomas Haden Church is alright. Rosemary Harris gets just a couple scenes here, and her absence is noticable. I enjoyed the Bruce Campbell and Stan Lee cameos, but what do they really have to do with anything?
What amounts to the film's watchable parts are the action and the effects, and both ARE outstanding. That first mega fight between Peter and Harry was amazing. I loved the action the whole film. The fx work could win the Oscar. Sandman is unique enough to not just be Mummy-like.
The final sequence, where Peter and Harry team up to fight Venom and Sandman manages to be cool despite the HORRIBLE decision to have the battle narrated by a TV reporter (plus some of that inappropriate humor).
The film stumbles to a close. Harry dies after saying some hokey stuff, Sandman is let go and forgotten about, and Peter and MJ slowdance as the credits roll.
The fanboys are gonna EVISCERATE this film, and it is totally warranted.
Spiderman: 9
Spiderman 2: 9
Spiderman 3: 3
5/13/07
I've liked plenty of horror movies, but I don't get scared by them.
28 Weeks Later FREAKED ME OUT!
This is the sequel to 2003's 28 Days Later. That film was effectivey unsettling, and I do own it on DVD, but every time I watch it I lose interest in the last half hour. In 28 Days Later, a "rage virus" gets out into the London populace, turing citizens into raging monsters, zombies who vomit blood onto their victims, in turn making THEM zombies.
The sequel indeed takes place 28 weeks later (a timeline opening is appreciated, so we see what's taken place). The American military has occupied England, eliminated all that's left of the infected, and they are ready to rebuild. So we follow a handful of characters as they are allowed back into a contained area of the country. Of course, the virus is NOT gone, and as Maroon 5 would say, it won't be soon before long that the zombies will be back.
The film has a good way for having the virus return, and it returns in a scene that is just disturbing as hell. 28 Weeks Later has a few such sequences that are just frighteningly intense. One brilliant trek through a pitch black subway tunnel comes to mind. It gets you on egde with a great opening sequence and since no real scare pattern evolves you have no idea what's coming.
I love apocalyptic stories. Any film in which the very fate of the world is at stake is interesting to me. Yet I usually don't like zombie flicks. I tend to find them repetitive and dulll, only redeemable for their gore. 28 Weeks Later dodges this trend with a gripping story, compelling characters, and a skillful protagonist shifting. The one character you assume is gonna be the main one...well, maybe they won't be.
The film has a lot of amazing images too, with deserted city streets, a Wembley stadium with 6 months of uncut grass, and a final shot that adheres to the standard horror movie ending, but in a way that doesn't feel like a cheat.
Fine acting from Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Catherine McCormack, and even the 2 kids (the daughter is quite hot btw). Terrific direction by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. Like the 1st film there's a really excellent score too. The film's allusions to the ridiculous disaster that is Operation Iraqi Freedom are obvious, but hell, they aren't exactly lying.
And this film helped purge the bad taste left from Spiderman 3: Saturday Night Peter, so for that too it is appreciated.
8.5/10
28 Weeks Later FREAKED ME OUT!
This is the sequel to 2003's 28 Days Later. That film was effectivey unsettling, and I do own it on DVD, but every time I watch it I lose interest in the last half hour. In 28 Days Later, a "rage virus" gets out into the London populace, turing citizens into raging monsters, zombies who vomit blood onto their victims, in turn making THEM zombies.
The sequel indeed takes place 28 weeks later (a timeline opening is appreciated, so we see what's taken place). The American military has occupied England, eliminated all that's left of the infected, and they are ready to rebuild. So we follow a handful of characters as they are allowed back into a contained area of the country. Of course, the virus is NOT gone, and as Maroon 5 would say, it won't be soon before long that the zombies will be back.
The film has a good way for having the virus return, and it returns in a scene that is just disturbing as hell. 28 Weeks Later has a few such sequences that are just frighteningly intense. One brilliant trek through a pitch black subway tunnel comes to mind. It gets you on egde with a great opening sequence and since no real scare pattern evolves you have no idea what's coming.
I love apocalyptic stories. Any film in which the very fate of the world is at stake is interesting to me. Yet I usually don't like zombie flicks. I tend to find them repetitive and dulll, only redeemable for their gore. 28 Weeks Later dodges this trend with a gripping story, compelling characters, and a skillful protagonist shifting. The one character you assume is gonna be the main one...well, maybe they won't be.
The film has a lot of amazing images too, with deserted city streets, a Wembley stadium with 6 months of uncut grass, and a final shot that adheres to the standard horror movie ending, but in a way that doesn't feel like a cheat.
Fine acting from Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Catherine McCormack, and even the 2 kids (the daughter is quite hot btw). Terrific direction by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. Like the 1st film there's a really excellent score too. The film's allusions to the ridiculous disaster that is Operation Iraqi Freedom are obvious, but hell, they aren't exactly lying.
And this film helped purge the bad taste left from Spiderman 3: Saturday Night Peter, so for that too it is appreciated.
8.5/10
5/20/07
some reviews:
THE WICKER MAN
This one's enjoyably loopy, with Nic Cage once again adding his special brand of oddness to lift up an otherwise shaky production. The story, which has him searching for a missing girl on this Village-like island where the women are creepy and the men are totally subservient (y'know, like the rest of the world), just gets goofier and goofier, culminating with Cage running around in a bear suit. I gotta admit I liked how he went ahead and beat the shit out of some of these women, with no shame (I bet you can thank director--and accused misogynist Neil LaBute for that).
A SCANNER DARKLY
Well, as with Richard Linklater's Waking Life the animation is amazing. But the story is a bunch of gobbledly gook that lost me after about half an hour. I enjoyed Robert Downey Jr.'s performance. I didn't enjoy how Winona Ryder finally does a nude scene...and it's animated![]()
THE ILLUSIONIST
Not even close to the same league as The Prestige. Edward Norton and Jessica Biel are so miscast that one suspects it was some sort of in-joke. Paul Giamatti's terrific however. Rufus Sewell (and actor I've never liked) is a cartoon villain. The story just putzed around and didn't really go anywhere.
DEATH OF A PRESIDENT
Once you get past the promising idea of a faux documentary about George W. Bush's assassination, you're left with a dreadfully dull telling, and one that's so careful to not really be THAT offensive that it has no bite at all.
THE WICKER MAN
This one's enjoyably loopy, with Nic Cage once again adding his special brand of oddness to lift up an otherwise shaky production. The story, which has him searching for a missing girl on this Village-like island where the women are creepy and the men are totally subservient (y'know, like the rest of the world), just gets goofier and goofier, culminating with Cage running around in a bear suit. I gotta admit I liked how he went ahead and beat the shit out of some of these women, with no shame (I bet you can thank director--and accused misogynist Neil LaBute for that).
A SCANNER DARKLY
Well, as with Richard Linklater's Waking Life the animation is amazing. But the story is a bunch of gobbledly gook that lost me after about half an hour. I enjoyed Robert Downey Jr.'s performance. I didn't enjoy how Winona Ryder finally does a nude scene...and it's animated
THE ILLUSIONISTNot even close to the same league as The Prestige. Edward Norton and Jessica Biel are so miscast that one suspects it was some sort of in-joke. Paul Giamatti's terrific however. Rufus Sewell (and actor I've never liked) is a cartoon villain. The story just putzed around and didn't really go anywhere.
DEATH OF A PRESIDENT
Once you get past the promising idea of a faux documentary about George W. Bush's assassination, you're left with a dreadfully dull telling, and one that's so careful to not really be THAT offensive that it has no bite at all.
5/27/07
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
Well, so much for my theory that the POTC series could go the way of The Matrix, where a disastrous 2nd film is followed up by a surprisingly efficient part 3.
At World's End is arguably WORSE! It too is a loud, confusing, pointless mess, and this time they don't even have any nifty set pieces.
Don't even attempt to argue that there's a decent story here. Even the writers would be hard pressed to explain anything that took place in these sequels. Nothing makes a lick of sense. The Naomie Harris voodoo queen becomes a giant for no reason at all, then turns into crabs for no reason at all, then apparently becomes mother nature for no reason at all. The Geoffrey Rush character is still alive, but how that happens is never explained. Why there would be a pirate council is never explained.
Or maybe I was sleeping when these well thought out explanations were given. Above everything else, this is just a BORING film. There is nothing to invest in, since apparently in the POTC world nobody is ever actually allowed to die. It's no surprise when, late in the film, a key character dies, and then miraculously comes back minutes later. And the endless double crosses have long since crossed tedious. Who cares? Honestly, does anyone care about any of these stuffy Brit villains?
I only now get to Johnny Depp, whose inspired work in the first film is the only truly memorable thing about it. But again it's just sad to see Depp bound by contract to repeat his performance. He's not into it, and he's hardly in the film that much. But oh goody that means we get even more of that waste of screen time known as Orlando Bloom (aka the biggest pussy in Hollywood). Has any actor in the last decade been as bland in as many films as he? As usual I love looking at Keira Knightley, but her arc in this film is laughable. Chow Yun-Fat's pretty cool, so naturally he's rarely seen. Only Geoffrey Rush rises to the occasion, hamming it up with gusto.
The box office receipts won't teach anyone this, but these shitty sequels oughta have taught Hollywood a lesson about force-feeding a bunch of mythology and backstory into unnecessary sequels to a fluke success. Let this be the end of it.
At World's End is arguably WORSE! It too is a loud, confusing, pointless mess, and this time they don't even have any nifty set pieces.
Don't even attempt to argue that there's a decent story here. Even the writers would be hard pressed to explain anything that took place in these sequels. Nothing makes a lick of sense. The Naomie Harris voodoo queen becomes a giant for no reason at all, then turns into crabs for no reason at all, then apparently becomes mother nature for no reason at all. The Geoffrey Rush character is still alive, but how that happens is never explained. Why there would be a pirate council is never explained.
Or maybe I was sleeping when these well thought out explanations were given. Above everything else, this is just a BORING film. There is nothing to invest in, since apparently in the POTC world nobody is ever actually allowed to die. It's no surprise when, late in the film, a key character dies, and then miraculously comes back minutes later. And the endless double crosses have long since crossed tedious. Who cares? Honestly, does anyone care about any of these stuffy Brit villains?
I only now get to Johnny Depp, whose inspired work in the first film is the only truly memorable thing about it. But again it's just sad to see Depp bound by contract to repeat his performance. He's not into it, and he's hardly in the film that much. But oh goody that means we get even more of that waste of screen time known as Orlando Bloom (aka the biggest pussy in Hollywood). Has any actor in the last decade been as bland in as many films as he? As usual I love looking at Keira Knightley, but her arc in this film is laughable. Chow Yun-Fat's pretty cool, so naturally he's rarely seen. Only Geoffrey Rush rises to the occasion, hamming it up with gusto.
The box office receipts won't teach anyone this, but these shitty sequels oughta have taught Hollywood a lesson about force-feeding a bunch of mythology and backstory into unnecessary sequels to a fluke success. Let this be the end of it.
6/2/07
Knocked Up is Judd Apatow's follow-up to The 40 Year Old Virgin, and not only do I think it's funnier than that film, I think it could be the funniest movie since Anchorman.
Shlubby stoner Seth Rogen (a better comedic lead than Steve Carell imo) has a one night stand with mega hottie Katherine Heigl (who was way up on my future wife list about 7 or 8 years ago) and gets her preggers. Easy setup, simple story, more or less completely predictable. But around this we get a treasure trove of comedic gold, some of it pertaining to the plot, but a lot of it just there cause it is so god dang funny! And it's obvious a lot of it was improvised too, much like many of the best bits from Virgin and Anchorman. I laughed more in the first half hour of this movie than in the entirety of my 2007 filmgoing before this. I just loved how this extraneous material was left in there and not just relegated to a DVD extra.
And yes, as with Virgin the story is actually pretty engaging, and against odds they make the Rogen-Heigl pairing believable. Apatow keeps things from ever getting too sappy or too raunchy.
Yeah the movie is long, but dead spots are rare. Paul Rudd contributes another hilarious performance, and helps disguise what a shrew Leslie Mann is. Although she's I guess ok here. Apatow's her husband, which is the only logical reason so many male characters comment on how hot she is (she's not). My SNL crush Kristen Wiig is hilarious in a tiny part. All the tiny supporting parts are well cast. It's not easy to carefully craft a movie and yet also have it feel very loose.
One of the trailers was for the new Farrelly brothers movie. Ironic, considering Apatow and company have now proven their ability to do well what the brothers could never do.
HOLLYWOODLAND
I did like Ben Affleck, and I wish his storyline had been the main focus, and not the Adrien Brody story (although Brody is very good). It's a fairly solid mystery, but it lacks pulp.
THE NIGHT LISTENER
Another fine serious effort from Robin Williams. The story is intriguing most of the way, but a dreadful and shrill Toni Collette kinda wrecks things.
MARIE ANTOINETTE
Sadly a major step backwards for Sofia Coppolla. I actually kind of enjoyed Kirsten Dunst here (anything would be better than her shrewish act from Spidey 3), but much of the film is boring and repetitive, and then late in the film they start jumping ahead in big chunks of time, indicating a poorly thought out screenplay.
TURISTAS
Ugh! With this and the nausea-inducing review I read for Hostel 2, I'm finished with the torture porn genre. Had I seen this in the theater, it would have placed a close 2nd to Hostel for worst film of the year. Simply awful in every way, and they don't even kill Olivia Wilde's ugly ass off, which is half the reason I watched this thing in the first place!
Shlubby stoner Seth Rogen (a better comedic lead than Steve Carell imo) has a one night stand with mega hottie Katherine Heigl (who was way up on my future wife list about 7 or 8 years ago) and gets her preggers. Easy setup, simple story, more or less completely predictable. But around this we get a treasure trove of comedic gold, some of it pertaining to the plot, but a lot of it just there cause it is so god dang funny! And it's obvious a lot of it was improvised too, much like many of the best bits from Virgin and Anchorman. I laughed more in the first half hour of this movie than in the entirety of my 2007 filmgoing before this. I just loved how this extraneous material was left in there and not just relegated to a DVD extra.
And yes, as with Virgin the story is actually pretty engaging, and against odds they make the Rogen-Heigl pairing believable. Apatow keeps things from ever getting too sappy or too raunchy.
Yeah the movie is long, but dead spots are rare. Paul Rudd contributes another hilarious performance, and helps disguise what a shrew Leslie Mann is. Although she's I guess ok here. Apatow's her husband, which is the only logical reason so many male characters comment on how hot she is (she's not). My SNL crush Kristen Wiig is hilarious in a tiny part. All the tiny supporting parts are well cast. It's not easy to carefully craft a movie and yet also have it feel very loose.
One of the trailers was for the new Farrelly brothers movie. Ironic, considering Apatow and company have now proven their ability to do well what the brothers could never do.
HOLLYWOODLAND
I did like Ben Affleck, and I wish his storyline had been the main focus, and not the Adrien Brody story (although Brody is very good). It's a fairly solid mystery, but it lacks pulp.
THE NIGHT LISTENER
Another fine serious effort from Robin Williams. The story is intriguing most of the way, but a dreadful and shrill Toni Collette kinda wrecks things.
MARIE ANTOINETTE
Sadly a major step backwards for Sofia Coppolla. I actually kind of enjoyed Kirsten Dunst here (anything would be better than her shrewish act from Spidey 3), but much of the film is boring and repetitive, and then late in the film they start jumping ahead in big chunks of time, indicating a poorly thought out screenplay.
TURISTAS
Ugh! With this and the nausea-inducing review I read for Hostel 2, I'm finished with the torture porn genre. Had I seen this in the theater, it would have placed a close 2nd to Hostel for worst film of the year. Simply awful in every way, and they don't even kill Olivia Wilde's ugly ass off, which is half the reason I watched this thing in the first place!
6/11/07
The weekend top ten:
Ocean's Thirteen: $37 million
Pirates Of The Caribbean: 21
Knocked Up: 20
Surf's Up: 18
Shrek 3: 15.7
Hostel 2: 8.7
Mr. Brooks: 5
Spiderman 3: 4.4
Waitress: 1.6
Disturbia: .5
Ocean's 13 had a pretty good opening, especially considering this seemed to be the least hyped of the 3. But with lots of big names it won't end up turning that big a profit.
Pirates continues to fall fast, and will maybe not even reach $300 million, which would be a real shame given all the quality on screen there.(cough)
Knocked Up is a word of mouth hit for sure, and deserved to be. Surf's Up's middling start hopefully means we can stop seeing a god damn penguin movie every 2 weeks! I mean last I checked there ARE other animals out there.
The rape fetish video known as Hostel 2 flopped, showing that there may be hope for humanity yet. Oh wait, think of all the people who missed out on Eli Roth's political subtext!
Next week:
Fantastic Four 2, with my future wifey Jessica Alba, which looks like it may be the film Spiderman 3 refused to be.
Ocean's Thirteen: $37 million
Pirates Of The Caribbean: 21
Knocked Up: 20
Surf's Up: 18
Shrek 3: 15.7
Hostel 2: 8.7
Mr. Brooks: 5
Spiderman 3: 4.4
Waitress: 1.6
Disturbia: .5
Ocean's 13 had a pretty good opening, especially considering this seemed to be the least hyped of the 3. But with lots of big names it won't end up turning that big a profit.
Pirates continues to fall fast, and will maybe not even reach $300 million, which would be a real shame given all the quality on screen there.(cough)
Knocked Up is a word of mouth hit for sure, and deserved to be. Surf's Up's middling start hopefully means we can stop seeing a god damn penguin movie every 2 weeks! I mean last I checked there ARE other animals out there.
The rape fetish video known as Hostel 2 flopped, showing that there may be hope for humanity yet. Oh wait, think of all the people who missed out on Eli Roth's political subtext!
Next week:
Fantastic Four 2, with my future wifey Jessica Alba, which looks like it may be the film Spiderman 3 refused to be.
6/12/07
OCEAN'S THIRTEEN
Well we still haven't had a particularly good #3 this summer, but this is the best one. It's ok, and maybe better than 12, not that I even really remember 12 all that much. It's no 11 though, I can tell you that.
So anyway, the whole gang teams up to sabotage Al Pacino's brand new glitzy casino/hotel. I'm not a big fan of heist movies, but I liked 11 cause it didn't obsess over all the minute details of the job. 12 and now 13 unfortunately do. A ton of time is spent explaining how it's all going down, and then they add on another couple heists within the main heist. It's very labored, and I just sat there wondering how the hell these guys could afford to do all this stuff.
But this is a solid entertainment. Clooney and Pitt appear very bored this time, but a lot of the others step it up. Matt Damon's great, and I loved his seducton of Ellen Barkin (holy god is she sexy!). Casey Affleck gets a hilarious subplot in which he leads a strike of Mexican workers. Don Cheadle impersonates a daredevil in another funny bit. David Paymer's very amusing as a hotel critic whose stay is sabotaged. Andy Garcia reappears in a neat way. Generally everyone gets something to do. I wish Pacino had yelled more though. This whole franchise is just about hamming it up anyway.
3 of these is quite enough though. Ocean's Fourteen does not need to be made, ok?
So anyway, the whole gang teams up to sabotage Al Pacino's brand new glitzy casino/hotel. I'm not a big fan of heist movies, but I liked 11 cause it didn't obsess over all the minute details of the job. 12 and now 13 unfortunately do. A ton of time is spent explaining how it's all going down, and then they add on another couple heists within the main heist. It's very labored, and I just sat there wondering how the hell these guys could afford to do all this stuff.
But this is a solid entertainment. Clooney and Pitt appear very bored this time, but a lot of the others step it up. Matt Damon's great, and I loved his seducton of Ellen Barkin (holy god is she sexy!). Casey Affleck gets a hilarious subplot in which he leads a strike of Mexican workers. Don Cheadle impersonates a daredevil in another funny bit. David Paymer's very amusing as a hotel critic whose stay is sabotaged. Andy Garcia reappears in a neat way. Generally everyone gets something to do. I wish Pacino had yelled more though. This whole franchise is just about hamming it up anyway.
3 of these is quite enough though. Ocean's Fourteen does not need to be made, ok?
6/16/07
FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER
Unlike most people, I actually liked the first Fantastic 4 movie. I thought it was a welcome light counterpoint to the dark Batman Begins. God forbid of course a comic book movie actually be upbeat in the slightest.
This sequel looked a little more serious, which was an all the more enticing prospect following that self parodying disaster known as Spiderman 3. I guess it wasn't quite all that I was hoping for though, since I'd say this sequel is more or less even with the first.
I thought there was too much time spent on the wedding of Reed and Sue (embodied by my future wife Jessica Alba, who looks stunning even with those phony contacts). I found parts funny, and liked the satire of how something as superficial as a wedding would distract the media from more important concerns. But I love me some apocalyptic storylines, and this film has it with the Silver Surfer showing up on earth to prepare it to be consumed by his master, the planet devouring Galactus. The surfer's cool, and Galactus is a really good effects bit. Loved the scenes with the surfer in the military compound. Doug Jones (Abe Sapien in Hellboy) plays him wonderfully, although Laurence Fishburne voices the character.
The film's certainly got its clunky parts. The general played by Andre Braugher might be the dumbest military person...no, scratch that, the dumbest character in movie history. "Oh sure Dr. Doom, you can take the surfer's all powerful board, no problem!" Doom's back in this sequel, and although his storyline is completely predictable, I enjoyed Julian McMahon in the role a little bit more this time.
Everyone's a little looser. I'm still surprised that I enjoy Chris Evans as Johnny Storm. Chiklis is great again, and Thing is still dating Kerry Washington (who sure made it to Asia pretty quick!). Screw the Alba haters. She's pretty good here, especially in her scenes with the surfer. Not so much when she's whining about the wedding.
Oh and Stan Lee has his best cameo so far.
I'd say the film is better than it should be given its flaws. They still haven't gotten it just right just yet.
This sequel looked a little more serious, which was an all the more enticing prospect following that self parodying disaster known as Spiderman 3. I guess it wasn't quite all that I was hoping for though, since I'd say this sequel is more or less even with the first.
I thought there was too much time spent on the wedding of Reed and Sue (embodied by my future wife Jessica Alba, who looks stunning even with those phony contacts). I found parts funny, and liked the satire of how something as superficial as a wedding would distract the media from more important concerns. But I love me some apocalyptic storylines, and this film has it with the Silver Surfer showing up on earth to prepare it to be consumed by his master, the planet devouring Galactus. The surfer's cool, and Galactus is a really good effects bit. Loved the scenes with the surfer in the military compound. Doug Jones (Abe Sapien in Hellboy) plays him wonderfully, although Laurence Fishburne voices the character.
The film's certainly got its clunky parts. The general played by Andre Braugher might be the dumbest military person...no, scratch that, the dumbest character in movie history. "Oh sure Dr. Doom, you can take the surfer's all powerful board, no problem!" Doom's back in this sequel, and although his storyline is completely predictable, I enjoyed Julian McMahon in the role a little bit more this time.
Everyone's a little looser. I'm still surprised that I enjoy Chris Evans as Johnny Storm. Chiklis is great again, and Thing is still dating Kerry Washington (who sure made it to Asia pretty quick!). Screw the Alba haters. She's pretty good here, especially in her scenes with the surfer. Not so much when she's whining about the wedding.
Oh and Stan Lee has his best cameo so far.
I'd say the film is better than it should be given its flaws. They still haven't gotten it just right just yet.
6/19/07
I hated Spiderman 3 because Peter Parker's turn to the darkside was not played for drama, but rather as a slapstick comedy! Those scenes of him strutting around NYC like a fool and trying to be a badass would have been laughable if I wasn't so angry.
Look at Revenge Of The Sith. When Anakin turned to the darkside it was dramatic, it was serious, it was epic! It grips me every time I see it.
As for the characters all fitting in, I disagree. The film is all over the place, forgetting about some characters entirely for long stretches. Gwen Stacy simply disappears. And Venom arrives so late I wonder why they bothered.
In my version of Spidey 3, Peter's turn to the darkside leads him to not just wound, but kill Harry in a fit of vengeance (which is actually what one trailer made me think would happen). Then he must carry that guilt around with him for the rest of the film, thus making his choice to forgive Sandman at the end far more meaningful.
Look at Revenge Of The Sith. When Anakin turned to the darkside it was dramatic, it was serious, it was epic! It grips me every time I see it.
As for the characters all fitting in, I disagree. The film is all over the place, forgetting about some characters entirely for long stretches. Gwen Stacy simply disappears. And Venom arrives so late I wonder why they bothered.
In my version of Spidey 3, Peter's turn to the darkside leads him to not just wound, but kill Harry in a fit of vengeance (which is actually what one trailer made me think would happen). Then he must carry that guilt around with him for the rest of the film, thus making his choice to forgive Sandman at the end far more meaningful.
I guess for a certain group of filmgoer the strutting and all that by Peter could be enjoyable. I dont think it compares with that brief segment of Spiderman 2 where he quits being Spiderman and tries to be normal. Yes there's that one goofy scene of him of him walking around with "raindrops keep falling on my head" playing on the soundtrack, but that part of the story being light and humorous at least fit. I never once felt that #2 was missing the right tone.
As for Into The Blue, despite my helpless affection for Jessica, I thought that film was godawful. Jessica's gonna be starring in the remake of The Eye, which is my favorite of all those Asian horror films.
As for Into The Blue, despite my helpless affection for Jessica, I thought that film was godawful. Jessica's gonna be starring in the remake of The Eye, which is my favorite of all those Asian horror films.
6/22/07
EPIC MOVIE
Well, this is at least a little bit better than last year's Date Movie. It still has a deadly small laugh number, but here at least the targets are mostly things that should be spoofed. Although they do parody Snakes On A Plane, Nacho Libre and Borat, and one wonders why they bothered. Mostly this one spoofs Narnia, Willy Wonka, Harry Potter, Pirates Of The Caribbean and X-Men. Most of it fails just cause it's unfunny in writing, and in execution. Jayma Mays may have been cute and appealing on a few Heroes episodes, but she might be the worst female comic lead ever. Never has Anna Faris been more missed. And again with the Carmen Electra? That talentless skank is ugly enough without the Mystique makeup! The best jokes are throwaways, like a great Kanye West joke ("the evil white bitch doesn't care about black people"), a shot at Mel Gibson, a rip on the Pussycat Dolls and an amusing Davinci Code opener.
THE HITCHER
Lame. Sean Bean's hitcher/psycho killer is not menacing, and it quickly gets absurd how superhuman and psychic he is, as he's miraculously always exactly where the couple he's stalking are at. It's just impossible. There's one real cool scene where he takes out a fleet of police cars (and a helicopter) all by himself, but that's about it. I remain completely infatuated though with Sophia Bush. She's got the looks and the charisma to be a big big star, but she better start picking better things to do between One Tree Hill seasons.
1408
The year's 2nd hotel room horror film, and the year's 2nd GOOD hotel room horror film. You really gotta give it up to John Cusack here, as he gives one of the best performances of his career. He does just about everything an actor can do in a given role and never falters. He's funny, he's freaked out, he's heartbroken, he's angry...all of it. Lots of cool visuals in the room with everything that happens, though some of the scare tactics are mundane. Samuel L. Jackson's shown right next to Cusack on the poster, but he's got more of a glorified cameo than anything.
Well, this is at least a little bit better than last year's Date Movie. It still has a deadly small laugh number, but here at least the targets are mostly things that should be spoofed. Although they do parody Snakes On A Plane, Nacho Libre and Borat, and one wonders why they bothered. Mostly this one spoofs Narnia, Willy Wonka, Harry Potter, Pirates Of The Caribbean and X-Men. Most of it fails just cause it's unfunny in writing, and in execution. Jayma Mays may have been cute and appealing on a few Heroes episodes, but she might be the worst female comic lead ever. Never has Anna Faris been more missed. And again with the Carmen Electra? That talentless skank is ugly enough without the Mystique makeup! The best jokes are throwaways, like a great Kanye West joke ("the evil white bitch doesn't care about black people"), a shot at Mel Gibson, a rip on the Pussycat Dolls and an amusing Davinci Code opener.
THE HITCHER
Lame. Sean Bean's hitcher/psycho killer is not menacing, and it quickly gets absurd how superhuman and psychic he is, as he's miraculously always exactly where the couple he's stalking are at. It's just impossible. There's one real cool scene where he takes out a fleet of police cars (and a helicopter) all by himself, but that's about it. I remain completely infatuated though with Sophia Bush. She's got the looks and the charisma to be a big big star, but she better start picking better things to do between One Tree Hill seasons.
1408
The year's 2nd hotel room horror film, and the year's 2nd GOOD hotel room horror film. You really gotta give it up to John Cusack here, as he gives one of the best performances of his career. He does just about everything an actor can do in a given role and never falters. He's funny, he's freaked out, he's heartbroken, he's angry...all of it. Lots of cool visuals in the room with everything that happens, though some of the scare tactics are mundane. Samuel L. Jackson's shown right next to Cusack on the poster, but he's got more of a glorified cameo than anything.
6/24/07
I saw 6 trailers at 1408 and I think all were new to me:
I Know Who Killed Me: I'd bet a week's paycheck that this Lindsay Lohan thriller flops, but I gotta admit it looks like a sleazy good time. I bet it's even better if you're coked out like, well, Lindsay herself!
Captivity: another torture porn flick, but it does have Elisha Cuthbert in it. I dunno, I just find this sub-genre incredibly tiresome.
3:10 To Yuma: a western with Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. Great actors, but I've never liked westerns
Shoot Em Up: It has Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti, but it looks like a Smokin Aces-type frenzied action flick.
Joshua: I guess the fact that it's an indie film with no stars (unless Vera Farmiga from The Departed is a star) is supposed to make it ok that its a lame-looking Omen ripoff.
The Invasion: a Body Snatchers remake. The funniest moment has to be when Nicole Kidman is told that she can fool the posessed by showing no emotion. Um, based on her previous work, I'm sure she can be totally robotic.![]()
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NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
I watched this at my gf's house tonight, and it was pretty much what I figured it'd be. It's a bunch of effects in desperate search of a story. The story it has is one of the thinnest in recent memory, yet it's mildly amusing due less to Ben Stiller than to the bickering Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan, as well as a solid Robin Williams.
I Know Who Killed Me: I'd bet a week's paycheck that this Lindsay Lohan thriller flops, but I gotta admit it looks like a sleazy good time. I bet it's even better if you're coked out like, well, Lindsay herself!
Captivity: another torture porn flick, but it does have Elisha Cuthbert in it. I dunno, I just find this sub-genre incredibly tiresome.
3:10 To Yuma: a western with Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. Great actors, but I've never liked westerns
Shoot Em Up: It has Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti, but it looks like a Smokin Aces-type frenzied action flick.
Joshua: I guess the fact that it's an indie film with no stars (unless Vera Farmiga from The Departed is a star) is supposed to make it ok that its a lame-looking Omen ripoff.
The Invasion: a Body Snatchers remake. The funniest moment has to be when Nicole Kidman is told that she can fool the posessed by showing no emotion. Um, based on her previous work, I'm sure she can be totally robotic.
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NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
I watched this at my gf's house tonight, and it was pretty much what I figured it'd be. It's a bunch of effects in desperate search of a story. The story it has is one of the thinnest in recent memory, yet it's mildly amusing due less to Ben Stiller than to the bickering Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan, as well as a solid Robin Williams.
6/25/07
Evan Almighty: $32 million
1408: 20
Fantastic Four Deux: 20
Ocean's 13: 11.3
Knocked Up: 10.6
Pirates: 7
Surf's Up: 6.7
Shrek 3: 5.7
A Mighty Heart: 4
Wow, here's a stunner. Evan Almighty is going to wind up a huge financial failure. The fact that they spent $175 million on this is ultimate proof that Hollywood overpays for virtually every movie that gets made. Even if it was well received it would have struggled to make money. And will they now stop making sequels to Jim Carrey movies that do not star Jim Carrey? What's next? A sequel to The Cable Guy starring Owen Wilson?
1408 did pretty good, proving that horror is not dead, just that hopefully the depraved shit Eli Roth spews out is dead. Always good to see John Cusack have a success.
Fantastic Four fell a big 65%. The last movie got ripped, but it ended up in the $150 million range and this looks to fall short of that.
Wow, here's another stunner. A movie starring Angelina Jolie bombed. Not counting Mr. & Mrs. Smith (which was ALL Brad Pitt), she hasn't been the lead in a success since Tomb Raider.
Next week:
-Bruce Willis has to choose whether to live free or die hard
-Pixar's Ratatouille
-and Michael Moore's Sicko opens in Minneapolis, hopefully causing my neo-con brother's head to explode!
1408: 20
Fantastic Four Deux: 20
Ocean's 13: 11.3
Knocked Up: 10.6
Pirates: 7
Surf's Up: 6.7
Shrek 3: 5.7
A Mighty Heart: 4
Wow, here's a stunner. Evan Almighty is going to wind up a huge financial failure. The fact that they spent $175 million on this is ultimate proof that Hollywood overpays for virtually every movie that gets made. Even if it was well received it would have struggled to make money. And will they now stop making sequels to Jim Carrey movies that do not star Jim Carrey? What's next? A sequel to The Cable Guy starring Owen Wilson?
1408 did pretty good, proving that horror is not dead, just that hopefully the depraved shit Eli Roth spews out is dead. Always good to see John Cusack have a success.
Fantastic Four fell a big 65%. The last movie got ripped, but it ended up in the $150 million range and this looks to fall short of that.
Wow, here's another stunner. A movie starring Angelina Jolie bombed. Not counting Mr. & Mrs. Smith (which was ALL Brad Pitt), she hasn't been the lead in a success since Tomb Raider.
Next week:
-Bruce Willis has to choose whether to live free or die hard
-Pixar's Ratatouille
-and Michael Moore's Sicko opens in Minneapolis, hopefully causing my neo-con brother's head to explode!
6/29/07
LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD
This 4th Die Hard film is a tremendous blast of summer nostalgia, in part because it's another example of a good sequel prolonging a potentially finished franchise (see also Rocky Balboa, Terminator 3, Lethal Weapon 4). But also it's a blast because it's the kind of action movie that just never gets made anymore. Seriously, what became of the action genre, which thrived in the 80's and much of the 90's? Everything these days is either sci-fi or a comic book movie or a kung-fu flick or something that isn't quite straight ahead action.
And Bruce Willis has ALWAYS been my favorite action star. Yeah he's had more than his share of standout roles in non-action fare, but just as I love seeing Al Pacino yell or Will Ferrell be bizarre, I love watching Bruce smirk and joke his way through an action flick...not just with the Die Hards, but also Armageddon, Fifth Element and The Last Boy Scout.
I really thought Live Free Or Die Hard was outstanding! I am so glad to have one of these big summer blockbusters live up to expectations, and even exceed them. I figured I'd enjoy this film, but the trailers had been kind of just ok. I'd put this #2 in the series behind the original.
The plot is actually pretty compelling. We've seen lots of mainstream fare play off 9/11 paranoia and fear, but this one I think does it the best. The master criminal (Timothy Olyphant)'s scheme grows right out of Dubya's all time favorite day.
Up against him and all his minions and cyber goons, you've got John McClaine, and his outdated notions of brute force, and a really entertaining Justin Long as the hacker who unknowingly helped the bad guys and now helps McClaine keep them from destroying America.
Willis is still in pretty good shape, so him still being able to beat the crap out of goons and dive out of speeding vehicles and onto a jet is at least somewhat believable. And McClaine has always had the shit kicked out of him, and that happens a lot this time too.
Underworld director Len Wiseman can really do this stuff. The action and the fights and all that here are not only well shot and exciting, but there's some real showmanship here. The sequence where a truck-driving McClaine's being chased by a jet, or the fight with Maggie Q, or the tunnel stunt...they really go for it. And here I thought Michael Bay would be the only guy putting on a real show this summer.
Yeah there are plot holes, most notably in the jet sequence where the pilot destroys a whole freeway (and no doubt kills dozens of innocent bystanders) while firing on McClaine. But even seeing that I was enjoying it, so I didn't care.
I do wish they had found someone better than Olyphant. He's been good in other films, but he's no Alan Rickman or Jeremy Irons. He's a guy who could get his ass kicked by McClaine's daughter (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, making more than expected out of the daughter-in-distress part). Maggie Q's pretty cool though.
Die Hard: 9
Die Hard 2: 7
Die Hard With A Vengeance: 8
Live Free Or Die Hard: 9
And Bruce Willis has ALWAYS been my favorite action star. Yeah he's had more than his share of standout roles in non-action fare, but just as I love seeing Al Pacino yell or Will Ferrell be bizarre, I love watching Bruce smirk and joke his way through an action flick...not just with the Die Hards, but also Armageddon, Fifth Element and The Last Boy Scout.
I really thought Live Free Or Die Hard was outstanding! I am so glad to have one of these big summer blockbusters live up to expectations, and even exceed them. I figured I'd enjoy this film, but the trailers had been kind of just ok. I'd put this #2 in the series behind the original.
The plot is actually pretty compelling. We've seen lots of mainstream fare play off 9/11 paranoia and fear, but this one I think does it the best. The master criminal (Timothy Olyphant)'s scheme grows right out of Dubya's all time favorite day.
Up against him and all his minions and cyber goons, you've got John McClaine, and his outdated notions of brute force, and a really entertaining Justin Long as the hacker who unknowingly helped the bad guys and now helps McClaine keep them from destroying America.
Willis is still in pretty good shape, so him still being able to beat the crap out of goons and dive out of speeding vehicles and onto a jet is at least somewhat believable. And McClaine has always had the shit kicked out of him, and that happens a lot this time too.
Underworld director Len Wiseman can really do this stuff. The action and the fights and all that here are not only well shot and exciting, but there's some real showmanship here. The sequence where a truck-driving McClaine's being chased by a jet, or the fight with Maggie Q, or the tunnel stunt...they really go for it. And here I thought Michael Bay would be the only guy putting on a real show this summer.
Yeah there are plot holes, most notably in the jet sequence where the pilot destroys a whole freeway (and no doubt kills dozens of innocent bystanders) while firing on McClaine. But even seeing that I was enjoying it, so I didn't care.
I do wish they had found someone better than Olyphant. He's been good in other films, but he's no Alan Rickman or Jeremy Irons. He's a guy who could get his ass kicked by McClaine's daughter (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, making more than expected out of the daughter-in-distress part). Maggie Q's pretty cool though.
Die Hard: 9
Die Hard 2: 7
Die Hard With A Vengeance: 8
Live Free Or Die Hard: 9
7/2/07
Ratatouille: $47 million
Live Free or Die Hard: 33.3
Evan Not Mighty: 15.1
1408: 10.6
Fantastic Four Deux: 9.1
Knocked Up: 7.3
Sicko: 4.5
Ratatouille had the smallest Pixar opening in several films, but when you consider that this looks less kiddie-centric than Cars or The Incredibles, it's not a surprise. It'll still make plenty of money, including 6 bucks from me pretty soon.
Die Hard's done $48 million since its opening, which I'd have to think is a better than expected start. Transformers is gonna kill it this next week, but I see no reason why it won't reach $100 million.
Evan Almighty's not gonna be saved by word of mouth. Fantastic 4 looks like it's gonna break even pretty much, so a #3 would have to be considered iffy. Ocean's 13 passed $100 million.
Sicko's opening only looks puny when you compare it to how massive an opening Fahrenheit 9/11 had. I went today to a Monday afternoon matinee and the theater was PACKED, so this film will do just fine.
Speaking of Sicko...
SICKO REVIEW
I prefer Fahrenheit 9/11 and Bowling For Columbine just to watch, but a case could be made that this is Michael Moore's best film. It's informative, convincing, and remarkably skilled at debunking the very criticisms that are being thrown at it. Seriously, every criticism I've heard about how Moore presents the facts here is dead wrong. These people did not see the film. Anyone who claims Moore ignores issues like how taxes affect free health care in other countries is ignorant. Anyone who claims he's just a liberal shill oughta watch his attack on Hilary Clinton in the film. And while a lot of the film is a downer, there's plenty of that sharp humor that elevates Moore's work above that of fellow documentarians.
Live Free or Die Hard: 33.3
Evan Not Mighty: 15.1
1408: 10.6
Fantastic Four Deux: 9.1
Knocked Up: 7.3
Sicko: 4.5
Ratatouille had the smallest Pixar opening in several films, but when you consider that this looks less kiddie-centric than Cars or The Incredibles, it's not a surprise. It'll still make plenty of money, including 6 bucks from me pretty soon.
Die Hard's done $48 million since its opening, which I'd have to think is a better than expected start. Transformers is gonna kill it this next week, but I see no reason why it won't reach $100 million.
Evan Almighty's not gonna be saved by word of mouth. Fantastic 4 looks like it's gonna break even pretty much, so a #3 would have to be considered iffy. Ocean's 13 passed $100 million.
Sicko's opening only looks puny when you compare it to how massive an opening Fahrenheit 9/11 had. I went today to a Monday afternoon matinee and the theater was PACKED, so this film will do just fine.
Speaking of Sicko...
SICKO REVIEW
I prefer Fahrenheit 9/11 and Bowling For Columbine just to watch, but a case could be made that this is Michael Moore's best film. It's informative, convincing, and remarkably skilled at debunking the very criticisms that are being thrown at it. Seriously, every criticism I've heard about how Moore presents the facts here is dead wrong. These people did not see the film. Anyone who claims Moore ignores issues like how taxes affect free health care in other countries is ignorant. Anyone who claims he's just a liberal shill oughta watch his attack on Hilary Clinton in the film. And while a lot of the film is a downer, there's plenty of that sharp humor that elevates Moore's work above that of fellow documentarians.
7/4/07
TRANSFORMERS
This one was a no brainer. There's rarely been a better fit of director to material, as Michael Bay is THE BEST large scale filmmaker of his time, and a film showcasing an epic war between two sets of humongous transforming robots demands an excessive approach.
Contrary to what one witness to the mayhem bellows, this film is NOT 100 times better than Armageddon. Armageddon remains the quintessential Bay film, and it's firmly entranched among my very very favorite films of all time. I think it's a blockbuster masterpiece. Transformers is simply a very skilled, very entertaining summer movie.
I'm sure a lot of people will be put off by the level of cheesiness in the film, and in a lot of the dialogue. But I'm fine with that, cause hello, the film is based on a kids cartoon and a toy line. If this had been some ultraviolent R-rated film it would've made no sense. This is a hokey film, but Bay does a fine job of not overdoing it like he's occasionally done in the past (see the first hour of Pearl Harbor).
The bots themselves are very impressive, and this may be one of the rare fx films that really warrants freeze-framing on dvd. I wish they'd been made a little more distinctive though, cause at times it's hard to tell which bot we're seeing (at one point I thought Megatron had been killed, but it was actually another bot). This detracts from the action scenes a little bit, but Bay is SO unbelievably good at delivering the goods in this area!
I've been mildly annoyed by Shia LaBoeuf previously (didn't see Disturbia), but I did enjoy his performance here. He's kind of playing the same type Justin Long did in Live Free Or Die Hard. But he's a rising star and I kind of get it. I kinda warmed to Megan Fox as the film went on, and by the end my phermone readings indicated that I would like to mate with her as well. Same goes for that cute Aussie who played the computer analyst. I don't know what the hell John Turturro was doing in this film, or Jon Voight, and Anthony Anderson goes overboard with the yelling. But heck, I did enjoy most of the performances, and found plenty of laughs.
The comic relief is pretty good, although Bay does use TOO much comedy. A few jokes kind of undercut the action. Even the old Transformers animated movie had more seriousness (although it also had lots of cheesy music).
I'm sure this film could be picked to death (like how in the show the Autobots were more or less the Decepticons equal, but here the Decepticons are way more powerful), and this is almost like Michael Bay is showing off at how easily he can construct a crowd pleasing blockbuster, but the robust applause at the end of the film indicates it worked. Again.
And I can always go for a bit of childhood nostalgia, cause I was one of those kids who was obsessed with Transformers. It may have been my very first fandom for anything. The old animated movie was one of the first movies I ever saw, and I'm sure up in the attic somewhere rest a lot of the toys. I always liked Beachcomber, and Omega Supreme. Get them in the sequel!
Contrary to what one witness to the mayhem bellows, this film is NOT 100 times better than Armageddon. Armageddon remains the quintessential Bay film, and it's firmly entranched among my very very favorite films of all time. I think it's a blockbuster masterpiece. Transformers is simply a very skilled, very entertaining summer movie.
I'm sure a lot of people will be put off by the level of cheesiness in the film, and in a lot of the dialogue. But I'm fine with that, cause hello, the film is based on a kids cartoon and a toy line. If this had been some ultraviolent R-rated film it would've made no sense. This is a hokey film, but Bay does a fine job of not overdoing it like he's occasionally done in the past (see the first hour of Pearl Harbor).
The bots themselves are very impressive, and this may be one of the rare fx films that really warrants freeze-framing on dvd. I wish they'd been made a little more distinctive though, cause at times it's hard to tell which bot we're seeing (at one point I thought Megatron had been killed, but it was actually another bot). This detracts from the action scenes a little bit, but Bay is SO unbelievably good at delivering the goods in this area!
I've been mildly annoyed by Shia LaBoeuf previously (didn't see Disturbia), but I did enjoy his performance here. He's kind of playing the same type Justin Long did in Live Free Or Die Hard. But he's a rising star and I kind of get it. I kinda warmed to Megan Fox as the film went on, and by the end my phermone readings indicated that I would like to mate with her as well. Same goes for that cute Aussie who played the computer analyst. I don't know what the hell John Turturro was doing in this film, or Jon Voight, and Anthony Anderson goes overboard with the yelling. But heck, I did enjoy most of the performances, and found plenty of laughs.
The comic relief is pretty good, although Bay does use TOO much comedy. A few jokes kind of undercut the action. Even the old Transformers animated movie had more seriousness (although it also had lots of cheesy music).
I'm sure this film could be picked to death (like how in the show the Autobots were more or less the Decepticons equal, but here the Decepticons are way more powerful), and this is almost like Michael Bay is showing off at how easily he can construct a crowd pleasing blockbuster, but the robust applause at the end of the film indicates it worked. Again.
And I can always go for a bit of childhood nostalgia, cause I was one of those kids who was obsessed with Transformers. It may have been my very first fandom for anything. The old animated movie was one of the first movies I ever saw, and I'm sure up in the attic somewhere rest a lot of the toys. I always liked Beachcomber, and Omega Supreme. Get them in the sequel!
7/15/07
Harry Potter V: 77.4
Transformers: 36
Ratatouille: 18
Die Hard IV: 10.8
License To Wed: 7.4
1408: 5
Evan Almighty: 4.9
Knocked Up: 3.6
Sicko: 2.6
Ocean's XIII: 1.9
Pothead mania blew up again, as the new Harry opened huge, due to its two major audiences: fans of the book, and pervs who are excited that Emma Watson is 17 (almost 18, fellas!). Its done $140 millon already. I thought the last flick stunk, but this one looks pretty dark and gloomy, which matches my mood and so maybe I'll check it out.
OMG I didn't do armchair box office last week! I missed my shot to gloat over the mammoth opening of a Michael Bay film! Oh well, I'll gloat now, as Transformers, despite the huge opening and the Potter opening fell just 49%. It's already at $222 million, and it should cruise to $300 million. It could even contend for top grossing film of the whole summer.
Ratatouille's gonna be called an underperformer, but that's silly. It still may crack $200 million, and from the looks of it it's the least instantly appealing of all the Pixar flicks. Sicko's also aleady being called a flop, which is also absurd. It'll end up as one of the top grossing docs ever, trailing only those IMAX films (which have higher ticket prices and little competition for available screens), and Moore's own Bowling For Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11.
Die Hard went over $100 million. I think it's already outgrossed the last movie. License To Wed isn't doing too bad.
Captivity bombed at #12 with $1.5 million. Good for being one more nail in the torture porn coffin. Bad for being the end of Elisha Cuthbert's film career.
Next week:
-Adam Sandler and Kevin James in I Now Pronounce You HOLY SHIT CAN WE SEE JESSICA BIEL IN HER UNDIES SOME MORE???
-Hairspray, in which John Travolta is a guy in a fat suit, portraying a woman...y'know, just like Star Jones. David Poland says his performance is as great as his Pulp Fiction comeback. Davey's been smokin the wacky tobaccy too much!
Transformers: 36
Ratatouille: 18
Die Hard IV: 10.8
License To Wed: 7.4
1408: 5
Evan Almighty: 4.9
Knocked Up: 3.6
Sicko: 2.6
Ocean's XIII: 1.9
Pothead mania blew up again, as the new Harry opened huge, due to its two major audiences: fans of the book, and pervs who are excited that Emma Watson is 17 (almost 18, fellas!). Its done $140 millon already. I thought the last flick stunk, but this one looks pretty dark and gloomy, which matches my mood and so maybe I'll check it out.
OMG I didn't do armchair box office last week! I missed my shot to gloat over the mammoth opening of a Michael Bay film! Oh well, I'll gloat now, as Transformers, despite the huge opening and the Potter opening fell just 49%. It's already at $222 million, and it should cruise to $300 million. It could even contend for top grossing film of the whole summer.
Ratatouille's gonna be called an underperformer, but that's silly. It still may crack $200 million, and from the looks of it it's the least instantly appealing of all the Pixar flicks. Sicko's also aleady being called a flop, which is also absurd. It'll end up as one of the top grossing docs ever, trailing only those IMAX films (which have higher ticket prices and little competition for available screens), and Moore's own Bowling For Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11.
Die Hard went over $100 million. I think it's already outgrossed the last movie. License To Wed isn't doing too bad.
Captivity bombed at #12 with $1.5 million. Good for being one more nail in the torture porn coffin. Bad for being the end of Elisha Cuthbert's film career.
Next week:
-Adam Sandler and Kevin James in I Now Pronounce You HOLY SHIT CAN WE SEE JESSICA BIEL IN HER UNDIES SOME MORE???
-Hairspray, in which John Travolta is a guy in a fat suit, portraying a woman...y'know, just like Star Jones. David Poland says his performance is as great as his Pulp Fiction comeback. Davey's been smokin the wacky tobaccy too much!
7/18/07
RATATOUILLE
This may not be my favorite Pixar movie right away. That title still goes either to Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc. But I've got a hunch this is one that's gonna get better over time. There's just something about Ratatouille. I enjoyed this in a way unlike any previous Pixar film.
I think its biggest difference is that it's not a laugh-a-minute comedy. This doesn't have the typical comic star in the lead, cracking jokes. The lead character here, the rat Remy, IS voiced by comic Patton Oswalt, but Remy is not a comic character. There are some funny parts, albeit mostly of the smile variety. I think this was simply a very engaging little story, and it didn't matter to me if long stretches had no jokes.
As usual the animation is peerless, and i LOVED the couple sequences following Remy throughout the little holes and crooks of buildings.
I think its biggest difference is that it's not a laugh-a-minute comedy. This doesn't have the typical comic star in the lead, cracking jokes. The lead character here, the rat Remy, IS voiced by comic Patton Oswalt, but Remy is not a comic character. There are some funny parts, albeit mostly of the smile variety. I think this was simply a very engaging little story, and it didn't matter to me if long stretches had no jokes.
As usual the animation is peerless, and i LOVED the couple sequences following Remy throughout the little holes and crooks of buildings.
7/28/07
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY
By no means one of the great Adam Sandler comedies. It is indefensible from the standpoint of how it both revels in rampant, off-putting homophobia, while on the flipside sermonizing about tolerance and fairness. That said, I didn't hate either of the 2 fighting halves of the film. I actually thought some of the more serious moments were handled well. I only wish the film had been more daring. Try to be MORE offensive. It's too timid to be memorable. Sandler's got some funny moments, but often here he's such an asshole. Kevin James though is really fabulous. I'd have never thought he'd have a film career, but after this and Hitch it looks like that's just what he'll have. As for Jessica Biel, yes she's hot, but she's so miscast here it's not funny. But we get Ving Rhames and Steve Buscemi, in a Con Air reunion. Dan Aykroyd actually has a funny part. When was the last time that happened?
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
In Burns voice: excellent! They of course waited a long, long time to finally make this, and they got it right. It is a completely terrific, hilarious move to the big screen, which manages to not only be bigger and grander, but also to fit completely within the show's formula. Simpsons doesn't get much attantion anymore, but imo the show has really had a resurgence the last couple years (maybe as a response to Family Guy's return, which upped the ante?). They get just about every bit character into this film, including my personal favorite Ralph Wiggum ("I like men now"). I laughed a ton at the film, which is maybe a little long even at 80-some minutes. It's not a peerless masterpiece like the South Park movie (which had larger aspirations), but as a Simpsons movie it's hard to picture a better result.
By no means one of the great Adam Sandler comedies. It is indefensible from the standpoint of how it both revels in rampant, off-putting homophobia, while on the flipside sermonizing about tolerance and fairness. That said, I didn't hate either of the 2 fighting halves of the film. I actually thought some of the more serious moments were handled well. I only wish the film had been more daring. Try to be MORE offensive. It's too timid to be memorable. Sandler's got some funny moments, but often here he's such an asshole. Kevin James though is really fabulous. I'd have never thought he'd have a film career, but after this and Hitch it looks like that's just what he'll have. As for Jessica Biel, yes she's hot, but she's so miscast here it's not funny. But we get Ving Rhames and Steve Buscemi, in a Con Air reunion. Dan Aykroyd actually has a funny part. When was the last time that happened?
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
In Burns voice: excellent! They of course waited a long, long time to finally make this, and they got it right. It is a completely terrific, hilarious move to the big screen, which manages to not only be bigger and grander, but also to fit completely within the show's formula. Simpsons doesn't get much attantion anymore, but imo the show has really had a resurgence the last couple years (maybe as a response to Family Guy's return, which upped the ante?). They get just about every bit character into this film, including my personal favorite Ralph Wiggum ("I like men now"). I laughed a ton at the film, which is maybe a little long even at 80-some minutes. It's not a peerless masterpiece like the South Park movie (which had larger aspirations), but as a Simpsons movie it's hard to picture a better result.
7/29/07
The Simpsons Movie: $71.8 million
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry: 19
Harry Potter V: 17
Hairspray: 15.5
No Reservations: 11.7
Transformers: 11.5
Ratatouille: 7.2
Die Hard IV: 5.3
I Know Lindsay's A Crack Whore: 3.4
Who's Your Caddy?: 2.9
I don't think anyone expected such a huge opening for The Simpsons. It proves how fraudulent TV ratings are, cause if you go by those the show isn't that big anymore. But aside from a few wet blankets (I'm looking at you, Mr. Poland) the film is universally liked. A total success.
Chuck & Larry is doing ok, but won't be as big as many of Sandler's movies. Harry Potter is heading towards $300 million. Hairspray's doing well, but it didn't have that great word of mouth hold, so I guess the hideous sight of Travolta has already scared many away. I'll catch the flick on DVD to check out my new crush Nikki Blonsky.
No Reservations shows us that Catherine Zeta Jones is not a big star. I'm amazed anyone saw it since it had arguably the worst trailer of the year.
Lindsay Lohan's career is DEAD! FINISHED! I'm actually tempted to see that movie cause it looked like some sleazy fun. But she'll never be the headliner of a film again, not when she was nearly outgrossed by Who's Your Caddy.
Next week:
-Matt Damon's Bourne 3, which looks to have the exact same plot and many of the same scenes as the last film.
-Goya's Ghosts opens here in Minneapolis. I'll go, but I ain't expecting much.
-Hot Rod, where we see if Andy Samberg is the next Adam Sandler or the next Chris Kattan.
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry: 19
Harry Potter V: 17
Hairspray: 15.5
No Reservations: 11.7
Transformers: 11.5
Ratatouille: 7.2
Die Hard IV: 5.3
I Know Lindsay's A Crack Whore: 3.4
Who's Your Caddy?: 2.9
I don't think anyone expected such a huge opening for The Simpsons. It proves how fraudulent TV ratings are, cause if you go by those the show isn't that big anymore. But aside from a few wet blankets (I'm looking at you, Mr. Poland) the film is universally liked. A total success.
Chuck & Larry is doing ok, but won't be as big as many of Sandler's movies. Harry Potter is heading towards $300 million. Hairspray's doing well, but it didn't have that great word of mouth hold, so I guess the hideous sight of Travolta has already scared many away. I'll catch the flick on DVD to check out my new crush Nikki Blonsky.
No Reservations shows us that Catherine Zeta Jones is not a big star. I'm amazed anyone saw it since it had arguably the worst trailer of the year.
Lindsay Lohan's career is DEAD! FINISHED! I'm actually tempted to see that movie cause it looked like some sleazy fun. But she'll never be the headliner of a film again, not when she was nearly outgrossed by Who's Your Caddy.
Next week:
-Matt Damon's Bourne 3, which looks to have the exact same plot and many of the same scenes as the last film.
-Goya's Ghosts opens here in Minneapolis. I'll go, but I ain't expecting much.
-Hot Rod, where we see if Andy Samberg is the next Adam Sandler or the next Chris Kattan.
8/6/07
The Bourne Ultimatum: $70.1 million
The Simpsons Flick: 25.6
Underdog: 12
Chucky & Larry: 10.5
Hairspray: 9.3
Harry Potter V: 9.2
No Reservations: 6.5
Transformers: 5.9
Hot Rod: 5
Bratz: 4.3
It was all about the Bourne, which to me is still a seriously overpraised franchise, but which is obviously big. I'm sure they'll keep pumping out these movies.
Simpsons fell 65%, which is big, but I guess the die hards got out there the first week. Its opening was so far above expectations that anything else is gravy.
Underdog was 3rd, proving kids will make their parents take them to any old crap. Hot Rod bombed, so it's back to SNL for Andy Samberg. Bratz flopped, though maybe it did ok for a movie about bratwursts.
NEXT WEEK:
-Rush Hour 3, which will probably be fun. if it flops and there's no 4, does that mean this is Chris Tucker's final film?
-Daddy Day Camp, which could usurp Boat Trip as the low point of Cuba Gooding Jr.'s career.
The Simpsons Flick: 25.6
Underdog: 12
Chucky & Larry: 10.5
Hairspray: 9.3
Harry Potter V: 9.2
No Reservations: 6.5
Transformers: 5.9
Hot Rod: 5
Bratz: 4.3
It was all about the Bourne, which to me is still a seriously overpraised franchise, but which is obviously big. I'm sure they'll keep pumping out these movies.
Simpsons fell 65%, which is big, but I guess the die hards got out there the first week. Its opening was so far above expectations that anything else is gravy.
Underdog was 3rd, proving kids will make their parents take them to any old crap. Hot Rod bombed, so it's back to SNL for Andy Samberg. Bratz flopped, though maybe it did ok for a movie about bratwursts.
NEXT WEEK:
-Rush Hour 3, which will probably be fun. if it flops and there's no 4, does that mean this is Chris Tucker's final film?
-Daddy Day Camp, which could usurp Boat Trip as the low point of Cuba Gooding Jr.'s career.
8/11/07
HOT ROD
This one almost won me over. It has a lot of dead area where there are no laughs. The story is a bore, and the stunts are not really that interesting or funny. But Andy Samberg's comedic oddness really pokes through at times, resulting in some of the funniest bits I've seen in any movie this year. One impromptu riot reminded me of the absurdity of Anchorman. It has some BIG, BIG laughs, but ultimately I just cannot give it a thumbs up.
THE TEN
This comedy I CAN give the thumbs up, and whole heartedly. This is 10 shorts, each based on one of the ten commandments. This one too has its highlight moments in its moments of greatest lunacy. Just the premises of a few of these shorts are enough to make me laugh. I loved the bit with Adam Brody being embedded in the ground and becoming a TV star. Loved Oliver Platt as a Schwarzenegger impersonator. Loved the first truly funny prison rape joke in a long time. Loved the cajones shown by Winona Ryder in her scenes. Yes, she sppears in the "thou shalt not steal" segment. Loved looking at Jessica Alba, even if all she's called on to do is be a ditz.
THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM
I've found this series kind of overrated, but for me this one was the best of the bunch. I still don't get invested in the story that much, and I still find it pretty inhuman. But this time the sheer brilliance of the direction by the impeccable Paul Greengrass carries the day. It's amazing how well the action and the tension is timed and choreographed and shot and everything. Those parts are like the best of 24.
This one almost won me over. It has a lot of dead area where there are no laughs. The story is a bore, and the stunts are not really that interesting or funny. But Andy Samberg's comedic oddness really pokes through at times, resulting in some of the funniest bits I've seen in any movie this year. One impromptu riot reminded me of the absurdity of Anchorman. It has some BIG, BIG laughs, but ultimately I just cannot give it a thumbs up.
THE TEN
This comedy I CAN give the thumbs up, and whole heartedly. This is 10 shorts, each based on one of the ten commandments. This one too has its highlight moments in its moments of greatest lunacy. Just the premises of a few of these shorts are enough to make me laugh. I loved the bit with Adam Brody being embedded in the ground and becoming a TV star. Loved Oliver Platt as a Schwarzenegger impersonator. Loved the first truly funny prison rape joke in a long time. Loved the cajones shown by Winona Ryder in her scenes. Yes, she sppears in the "thou shalt not steal" segment. Loved looking at Jessica Alba, even if all she's called on to do is be a ditz.
THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM
I've found this series kind of overrated, but for me this one was the best of the bunch. I still don't get invested in the story that much, and I still find it pretty inhuman. But this time the sheer brilliance of the direction by the impeccable Paul Greengrass carries the day. It's amazing how well the action and the tension is timed and choreographed and shot and everything. Those parts are like the best of 24.
8/12/07
Rush Hour 3: $50.2 million
Bourne Ultimatum (in which at no point does he make an ultimatum btw): 33.6
Simpsons Movie: 11.1
Stardust: 9
Underdog: 6.4
Hairspray: 6.3
Chuck & Larry: 5.9
Harry Potter Boinks Hermoine: 5.3
No Reservations: 3.9
Daddy Day Camp: 3.5
Nothing that wrong with a $50 million opening for Rush Hour 3, but it'd be hard to argue that the wait between 2 and 3 was way too long. This will likely be the final one of these.
Bourne actually fell over 50%, but it'll likely fall less after this and will wind up a big smash.
Stardust is gonna be a big money loser, although it got decent reviews. Chuck & Larry passed $100 million. Daddy Day Camp flopped. Good news for Eddie Murphy, bad news for Cuba Gooding Jr. Come to think of it has Cuba had any GOOD news in years?
Next week:
-Superbad, which is hyped like crazy, but will be hard pressed to be as good as Knocked Up.
-The Invasion, in which Nicole Kidman can only stay alive by displaying no human emotion. So there's your ending: She lives!
Bourne Ultimatum (in which at no point does he make an ultimatum btw): 33.6
Simpsons Movie: 11.1
Stardust: 9
Underdog: 6.4
Hairspray: 6.3
Chuck & Larry: 5.9
Harry Potter Boinks Hermoine: 5.3
No Reservations: 3.9
Daddy Day Camp: 3.5
Nothing that wrong with a $50 million opening for Rush Hour 3, but it'd be hard to argue that the wait between 2 and 3 was way too long. This will likely be the final one of these.
Bourne actually fell over 50%, but it'll likely fall less after this and will wind up a big smash.
Stardust is gonna be a big money loser, although it got decent reviews. Chuck & Larry passed $100 million. Daddy Day Camp flopped. Good news for Eddie Murphy, bad news for Cuba Gooding Jr. Come to think of it has Cuba had any GOOD news in years?
Next week:
-Superbad, which is hyped like crazy, but will be hard pressed to be as good as Knocked Up.
-The Invasion, in which Nicole Kidman can only stay alive by displaying no human emotion. So there's your ending: She lives!
8/19/07
Superbad: $31.2 million
Rush Hour 3: 21.8
Bourne Ultimatum: 18.9
Simpsons: 6.6
The Invasion: 6
Stardust: 5.2
Superbad makes another Apatow-involved hit. A lot will say this was unexpected, but everyone's been yapping about this movie for months.
Rush Hour fell pretty big, but it'll cruise past $100 million. Bourne's heading for $200 million. Hairspray hit $100 million.
The Invasion bombed, proving YET AGAIN what a box office draw Nicole Kidman ISN'T! I've been saying that for years. She sucks and I'm glad she's torched her career with all these mega flops lately.
----REVIEWS-----
SUPERBAD
Calm down, it's funny, often very funny, but its NOT in the same league as Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, or even American Pie (which Seth Rogen bad-mouthed in a piece about the film). American Pie was funnier, had more heart, and yes, submissive exchange student aside was more true to life and real. Superbad's not that realistic for the most part, but then again Freaks and Geeks was called a realistic portrayal of high school and wasn't AT ALL. Superbad's cliches are at least subdued, aside from McLovin who is funny but is a total cartoony geek. Much better is Michael Cera, who nails that particular type of guy who's a nice guy who people like but who is generally unpopular. Yes, he reminded me of me in high school, even if my body size was more like Jonah Hill. Hill's very broad, but he grew on me. I pretty much loved the opening third of the film, and the last third. That middle stretch is sketchier, as the cops (Rogen and Bill Hader) got tiresome pretty quick, and the wacky situations were all kind of retreads (aside from the stain). The whole fake ID joke has been done to death too btw, not sure why they thought that was so funny. I liked the ladies, especially that Lily Allen clone Emma Stone as a smart, sexy girl with NO interest in getting drunk (see, told ya the film was unrealistic). In a lot of other summers this might've been the comedic high point, but not in the summer of Knocked Up and The Simpsons.
HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
None of the first 3 films were anything great, and Goblet Of Fire was a flat out dud. But Order Of The Phoenix is imo by FAR the best Potter film! This one is dark, intense, dramatic and tighter, with hardly any of the filler that bloated the other flicks. The fx are great, Emma's spunky as ever, Imelda Staunton is memorable as a woman who I'm surprised hasn't been hired by Target.![]()
Harry's gf is cute, though I probably shouldn't think that. And for really the first time, I'm gonna anxiously await the next movie.
Rush Hour 3: 21.8
Bourne Ultimatum: 18.9
Simpsons: 6.6
The Invasion: 6
Stardust: 5.2
Superbad makes another Apatow-involved hit. A lot will say this was unexpected, but everyone's been yapping about this movie for months.
Rush Hour fell pretty big, but it'll cruise past $100 million. Bourne's heading for $200 million. Hairspray hit $100 million.
The Invasion bombed, proving YET AGAIN what a box office draw Nicole Kidman ISN'T! I've been saying that for years. She sucks and I'm glad she's torched her career with all these mega flops lately.
----REVIEWS-----
SUPERBAD
Calm down, it's funny, often very funny, but its NOT in the same league as Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, or even American Pie (which Seth Rogen bad-mouthed in a piece about the film). American Pie was funnier, had more heart, and yes, submissive exchange student aside was more true to life and real. Superbad's not that realistic for the most part, but then again Freaks and Geeks was called a realistic portrayal of high school and wasn't AT ALL. Superbad's cliches are at least subdued, aside from McLovin who is funny but is a total cartoony geek. Much better is Michael Cera, who nails that particular type of guy who's a nice guy who people like but who is generally unpopular. Yes, he reminded me of me in high school, even if my body size was more like Jonah Hill. Hill's very broad, but he grew on me. I pretty much loved the opening third of the film, and the last third. That middle stretch is sketchier, as the cops (Rogen and Bill Hader) got tiresome pretty quick, and the wacky situations were all kind of retreads (aside from the stain). The whole fake ID joke has been done to death too btw, not sure why they thought that was so funny. I liked the ladies, especially that Lily Allen clone Emma Stone as a smart, sexy girl with NO interest in getting drunk (see, told ya the film was unrealistic). In a lot of other summers this might've been the comedic high point, but not in the summer of Knocked Up and The Simpsons.
HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
None of the first 3 films were anything great, and Goblet Of Fire was a flat out dud. But Order Of The Phoenix is imo by FAR the best Potter film! This one is dark, intense, dramatic and tighter, with hardly any of the filler that bloated the other flicks. The fx are great, Emma's spunky as ever, Imelda Staunton is memorable as a woman who I'm surprised hasn't been hired by Target.
Harry's gf is cute, though I probably shouldn't think that. And for really the first time, I'm gonna anxiously await the next movie.The trailer I saw at Harry Potter that really impressed me was for Enchanted, with Amy Adams as an animated fairytale princess who winds up in the real world. I can already tell I'm going to fall completely for Amy Adams in that movie.
8/26/07
Superbad: $18 million
Bourne 3: 12.3
Rush 3: 12.2
Mr. Bean's Holiday: 10.1
War: 10
The Nanny Diaries: 7.8
15. Resurrecting The Champ: 1.8
16. Illegal Tender: 1.4
The late summer dumping ground allowed Superbad to maintain the top spot easily. It's on its way to $100 million, a milestone Rush Hour 3 passed this weekend.
The newbs were all flops, except for the Bean movie that did ok and probably cost very little. I'd have thought War might make more, but then again it was barely promoted. Nanny Diaries does nothing for Scarlett's leading lady hopes. Resurrecting The Champ was a total bomb, which hurts Josh Hartnett more than it hurts Sam Jackson.
Next week:
-Halloween, directed by hack no talent Rob Zombie. Does he dress up Michael Myers in clown makeup?
-Death Sentence, where Kevin Bacon goes cray-zay!
Bourne 3: 12.3
Rush 3: 12.2
Mr. Bean's Holiday: 10.1
War: 10
The Nanny Diaries: 7.8
15. Resurrecting The Champ: 1.8
16. Illegal Tender: 1.4
The late summer dumping ground allowed Superbad to maintain the top spot easily. It's on its way to $100 million, a milestone Rush Hour 3 passed this weekend.
The newbs were all flops, except for the Bean movie that did ok and probably cost very little. I'd have thought War might make more, but then again it was barely promoted. Nanny Diaries does nothing for Scarlett's leading lady hopes. Resurrecting The Champ was a total bomb, which hurts Josh Hartnett more than it hurts Sam Jackson.
Next week:
-Halloween, directed by hack no talent Rob Zombie. Does he dress up Michael Myers in clown makeup?
-Death Sentence, where Kevin Bacon goes cray-zay!
9/1/07
WAR
A slick, but disappointing action movie. Jason Staham doesn't get much chance to display that Willis-y attitude. Jet Li barely speaks and is almost like a cameo player in his own film. War does have a very cool twist at the end which really changes things, but the rest of the plot is retread city.
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FILM FOR THEATERS
I have no idea what these guys are on, but this was one of the most bizarre movies I've ever seen. And I frequently laughed my ass off, and my ass is big so that's a lot of ass! That opening, and really the end too should be played at every movie from now on. I just LOVE the total commitment to insanity, and random jokes.
A slick, but disappointing action movie. Jason Staham doesn't get much chance to display that Willis-y attitude. Jet Li barely speaks and is almost like a cameo player in his own film. War does have a very cool twist at the end which really changes things, but the rest of the plot is retread city.
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE COLON MOVIE FILM FOR THEATERS
I have no idea what these guys are on, but this was one of the most bizarre movies I've ever seen. And I frequently laughed my ass off, and my ass is big so that's a lot of ass! That opening, and really the end too should be played at every movie from now on. I just LOVE the total commitment to insanity, and random jokes.
9/3/07
Fall preview:
Lots of upcoming potential....
SEPTEMBER
Shoot Em Up:
Looks Smokin Aces-crazy, and it's hard to not have a man crush on Clive Owen
3:10 To Yuma:
I'm not a westerns fan, but this one looks good.
The Brothers Solomon:
I'm a BIG Will Forte fan, and Kristen Wiig is in this too!
The Kingdom:
Great cast, good director.
Across The Universe:
My Beatles-loving buddy hates this one on principle, but I think it looks interesting.
The Brave One:
I like vigilante stories. Hell, I may even see Death Sentence.
In The Valley Of Elah:
Paul Haggis. Tommy Lee Jones could win an Oscar.
Mr. Woodcock:
Didn't love it last fall, when it was called School For Scoundrels.
Silk:
Who's Keira Knightley?
Good Luck Chuck:
Yes, I loves Jessica enough to watch another Dane Cook movie.
Resident Evil: Extinction:
I actually liked the 2nd one, and this one has ZOMBIE BIRDS!
The Game Plan:
Could be a worse career move for The Rock than Doom.
Lust, Caution:
Ang Lee.
OCTOBER
The Heartbreak Kid:
Ben Stiller stretches again to play a nervous, neurotic guy.
Michael Clayton:
Clooney.
Dan In Real Life:
Steve Carell in a movie with possible substance.
Hitman:
Good god this looks retarded.
Lars and the Real Girl:
Ryan Gosling falls in love with a sex doll. Oooh, could there be a threeway with Rachel McAdams then???
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?:
Janet Jackson acts again, and yes that's a good thing. Of course she'll get attacked by the same critics who wanna give Timberlake an friggin Academy Award for Alpha Dog!
30 Days Of Night:
Vampires attack Josh Hartnett.
Gone Baby Gone:
Ben Affleck directs.
Rendition:
Reese the peese Witherspoon.
Saw 4:
Nope, you won't get me again.
Things We Lost In The Fire:
Halle finally gets back to serious business.
The Darjeeling Limited:
I think it looks completely dull and full of itself, but there's a whole thread about it here so obviously some feel different.
NOVEMBER
Enchanted:
I fully expect to be sending marriage proposals to Amy Adams after this one.![]()
American Gangster:
Looks awesome, now can I please stop seeing the trailer at EVERY DAMN MOVIE???
Bee Movie:
No way Jerry Seinfeld fails here. This looks can't miss.
Fred Claus:
Will make tons of money but will probably be by far the worst of Vince Vaughn's run of hits. Well ok, it'll be better than The Break-Up.
Lions For Lambs:
Boo, Tom Cruise. Boo! He can't possibly be in a good movie cause he jumped on a couch! /rolleyes
No Country For Old Men:
Coens back in dark Fargo territory? Yes yes yes!
Beowulf:
In which one can only hope Angelina Jolie gets decapitated.
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium:
Yeah Nat will be cute in it, but the movie will probably stink.
The Mist:
Frank Darabont doing a Stephen King movie.
Cassandra's Dream:
Woody Allen.
DECEMBER
I Am Legend:
The ever-reliable Will Smith in an apocalypse flick from the director of the fantastic Constantine? I Am There.
Atonement:
Who's Keira Knightley?![]()
The Golden Compass:
Fantasy franchise grab.
Leatherheads:
Clooney football movie.
Alvin and the Chipmunks:
Look away.
Juno:
Oooh, Ellen Page!
Youth Without Youth:
Francis Ford Coppolla directs for the first time in a long time.
National Treasure: Book Of Secrets:
Really dug the first one.
Sweeney Todd:
I'm always cautious of a Tim Burton movie that has potential.
Walk Hard:
Apatow produced spoof of music biopics, with the briliant John C. Reilly.
Aliens vs Predator Requiem:
Well will they choose an ending this time?
The Bucket List:
Nicholson and Freeman could just sit there and I'd go see it.
Charlie Wilson's War:
Big stars, big story, big director. Ehh.
The Great Debaters:
Denzel and Forest.
There Will Be Blood:
PT Anderson's first movie in 5 long years!
SEPTEMBER
Shoot Em Up:
Looks Smokin Aces-crazy, and it's hard to not have a man crush on Clive Owen
3:10 To Yuma:
I'm not a westerns fan, but this one looks good.
The Brothers Solomon:
I'm a BIG Will Forte fan, and Kristen Wiig is in this too!
The Kingdom:
Great cast, good director.
Across The Universe:
My Beatles-loving buddy hates this one on principle, but I think it looks interesting.
The Brave One:
I like vigilante stories. Hell, I may even see Death Sentence.
In The Valley Of Elah:
Paul Haggis. Tommy Lee Jones could win an Oscar.
Mr. Woodcock:
Didn't love it last fall, when it was called School For Scoundrels.
Silk:
Who's Keira Knightley?
Good Luck Chuck:
Yes, I loves Jessica enough to watch another Dane Cook movie.
Resident Evil: Extinction:
I actually liked the 2nd one, and this one has ZOMBIE BIRDS!
The Game Plan:
Could be a worse career move for The Rock than Doom.
Lust, Caution:
Ang Lee.
OCTOBER
The Heartbreak Kid:
Ben Stiller stretches again to play a nervous, neurotic guy.
Michael Clayton:
Clooney.
Dan In Real Life:
Steve Carell in a movie with possible substance.
Hitman:
Good god this looks retarded.
Lars and the Real Girl:
Ryan Gosling falls in love with a sex doll. Oooh, could there be a threeway with Rachel McAdams then???
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?:
Janet Jackson acts again, and yes that's a good thing. Of course she'll get attacked by the same critics who wanna give Timberlake an friggin Academy Award for Alpha Dog!
30 Days Of Night:
Vampires attack Josh Hartnett.
Gone Baby Gone:
Ben Affleck directs.
Rendition:
Reese the peese Witherspoon.
Saw 4:
Nope, you won't get me again.
Things We Lost In The Fire:
Halle finally gets back to serious business.
The Darjeeling Limited:
I think it looks completely dull and full of itself, but there's a whole thread about it here so obviously some feel different.
NOVEMBER
Enchanted:
I fully expect to be sending marriage proposals to Amy Adams after this one.
American Gangster:Looks awesome, now can I please stop seeing the trailer at EVERY DAMN MOVIE???
Bee Movie:
No way Jerry Seinfeld fails here. This looks can't miss.
Fred Claus:
Will make tons of money but will probably be by far the worst of Vince Vaughn's run of hits. Well ok, it'll be better than The Break-Up.
Lions For Lambs:
Boo, Tom Cruise. Boo! He can't possibly be in a good movie cause he jumped on a couch! /rolleyes
No Country For Old Men:
Coens back in dark Fargo territory? Yes yes yes!
Beowulf:
In which one can only hope Angelina Jolie gets decapitated.
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium:
Yeah Nat will be cute in it, but the movie will probably stink.
The Mist:
Frank Darabont doing a Stephen King movie.
Cassandra's Dream:
Woody Allen.
DECEMBER
I Am Legend:
The ever-reliable Will Smith in an apocalypse flick from the director of the fantastic Constantine? I Am There.
Atonement:
Who's Keira Knightley?
The Golden Compass:Fantasy franchise grab.
Leatherheads:
Clooney football movie.
Alvin and the Chipmunks:
Look away.
Juno:
Oooh, Ellen Page!
Youth Without Youth:
Francis Ford Coppolla directs for the first time in a long time.
National Treasure: Book Of Secrets:
Really dug the first one.
Sweeney Todd:
I'm always cautious of a Tim Burton movie that has potential.
Walk Hard:
Apatow produced spoof of music biopics, with the briliant John C. Reilly.
Aliens vs Predator Requiem:
Well will they choose an ending this time?
The Bucket List:
Nicholson and Freeman could just sit there and I'd go see it.
Charlie Wilson's War:
Big stars, big story, big director. Ehh.
The Great Debaters:
Denzel and Forest.
There Will Be Blood:
PT Anderson's first movie in 5 long years!
9/4/07
THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2
I thought the first remake was quite good. It was well acted, it was disturbing, it had weight. But this is just crap. The acting is amateurish, there's no zip or originality in the directing, it's not scary at all, and someone made the decision to have the mutant cannibals talk.
CATCH AND RELEASE
This is a pleasant, serene movie, but it misses its chance to be truly memorable. Jennifer Garner is loveliness incarnate here though. It's insane that she's not already one of the top 5 female stars in Hollywood. And I actually thought Kevin Smith was decent in his first sizable acting role. I still wish they'd cut him out of Live Free Or Die Hard though.
I thought the first remake was quite good. It was well acted, it was disturbing, it had weight. But this is just crap. The acting is amateurish, there's no zip or originality in the directing, it's not scary at all, and someone made the decision to have the mutant cannibals talk.
CATCH AND RELEASE
This is a pleasant, serene movie, but it misses its chance to be truly memorable. Jennifer Garner is loveliness incarnate here though. It's insane that she's not already one of the top 5 female stars in Hollywood. And I actually thought Kevin Smith was decent in his first sizable acting role. I still wish they'd cut him out of Live Free Or Die Hard though.
9/7/07
NO END IN SIGHT
A very well done documentary about the botched planning for post-war Iraq. It's a bit of an information overload.
BLOOD & CHOCOLATE
A pretty lame werewolf movie, with a lousy villain. But damn that Agnes Bruckner is hot. Someone needs to give this girl a real quality role again. I don't know that she's had one since Blue Car.
SHOOT EM UP
This falls somewhere between an homage to the big dumb action movie and a parody of it. I know I enjoyed it plenty. Its whole existence is about big crazy stunts and violence, Clive Owen being a super cool badass, Paul Giamatti being a scene chewing bad guy and Monica Bellucci being smokin hot...and it succeeds on all those levels.
A very well done documentary about the botched planning for post-war Iraq. It's a bit of an information overload.
BLOOD & CHOCOLATE
A pretty lame werewolf movie, with a lousy villain. But damn that Agnes Bruckner is hot. Someone needs to give this girl a real quality role again. I don't know that she's had one since Blue Car.
SHOOT EM UP
This falls somewhere between an homage to the big dumb action movie and a parody of it. I know I enjoyed it plenty. Its whole existence is about big crazy stunts and violence, Clive Owen being a super cool badass, Paul Giamatti being a scene chewing bad guy and Monica Bellucci being smokin hot...and it succeeds on all those levels.
9/17/07
THE BRAVE ONE
I liked this film a lot more than Panic Room or Flightplan, the last 2 Jodie Foster thrillers, but it falls apart a bit when you think about all the plot holes and contrivances. But I like vigilante stories, and am pro-vigilantism in general. Foster's intense, and Terrence Howard is outstanding as apparently the only homicide detective in all of NYC.
I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE
Chris Rock CAN'T make a good film, but this one has its moments. A few comedic bits are hilarious, while some feel like material he'd never allow into a routine. It's a smart film though, a lot less trashy than most of these comedies. And sweet lord almighty does Kerry Washington ever make a run for the title of the most gorgeous woman alive!
![]()
DEATH PROOF
(uncut version)
I still hope for them to one day release Grindhouse as I saw it in theaters. But at least now we get the longer version of Tarantino's brilliant half. This is maybe 20 minutes longer, which consists of the Vanessa Ferlito lapdance scene, and a lot more of Rosario/Tracie Thoms/Mary Elizabeth Winstead before their encounter with Stuntman Mike. I still like that slow burn of a first act more than the finale, but it's all still arguably the best film of the year, as all QT films usually are.
I liked this film a lot more than Panic Room or Flightplan, the last 2 Jodie Foster thrillers, but it falls apart a bit when you think about all the plot holes and contrivances. But I like vigilante stories, and am pro-vigilantism in general. Foster's intense, and Terrence Howard is outstanding as apparently the only homicide detective in all of NYC.
I THINK I LOVE MY WIFE
Chris Rock CAN'T make a good film, but this one has its moments. A few comedic bits are hilarious, while some feel like material he'd never allow into a routine. It's a smart film though, a lot less trashy than most of these comedies. And sweet lord almighty does Kerry Washington ever make a run for the title of the most gorgeous woman alive!
DEATH PROOF(uncut version)
I still hope for them to one day release Grindhouse as I saw it in theaters. But at least now we get the longer version of Tarantino's brilliant half. This is maybe 20 minutes longer, which consists of the Vanessa Ferlito lapdance scene, and a lot more of Rosario/Tracie Thoms/Mary Elizabeth Winstead before their encounter with Stuntman Mike. I still like that slow burn of a first act more than the finale, but it's all still arguably the best film of the year, as all QT films usually are.
9/27/07
GOOD LUCK CHUCK
Ok, I know I'm supposed to say Jessica Alba can't act, but I'm not drinking that kool-aid. In this movie she shows a real knack for goofy, charming comedy. She is hands down the best thing about this movie.
Too bad for her the movie itself stinks, as it is one of the most incoherent, creepy "comedies" I've ever seen. This thing was so ill-conceived from the start that it had no chance.
Ok, Dane Cook. I don't necessarily think he is the worst thing to ever happen to movie comedy. But in NO way does his cocky frat boy "I'm so cool" attitude work for what at points tries to be a sweet romantic comedy. Not since David Spade in Lost & Found has such insincerity been shown in this type of movie, and that's not a movie any other flick should remind a viewer of. He really has no chemistry with Jess. And there's this one terrible scene where his fat black receptionist jumps him, and after making a joke of the woman's lingerie-clad body, the scene abruptly goes all serious where she's like "it's ok, you can imagine someone else" and Dane says "No, I'll only imagine you." On paper this may have been an effective moment...but not with Dane friggin Cook delivering the line. That recalled Shallow Hal, a similarly hateful film that again, no film should be compared to.
And there's all sorts of jarring shifts in the movie. It wants to be a raunchy comedy like Wedding Crashers, but it also wants to be a sweet romance. And for one stretch Dane becomes this absolute lunatic stalker in scenes that I guess are supposed to be funny, but instead are just creepy and unfunny.
But this film's single worst element is a wretched actor named Dan Fogler. He is SO fucking revolting in both his character and performance here that I wanted to shoot myself every moment he was on screen. I can only fathom that he was cast opposite Dane simply to make Dane seem likable by comparison. Every year I do year end awards, bad ones too, including "worst supporting actor" and he is the winner.
RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION
After a big disappointment with RE1 I actually thought RE2 was kinda fun. This one's somewhere in the middle, but I wouldn't avoid a 4th film that the ending here leads into. In this one the whole planet has been destroyed and zombies roam the earth, and there are a handful of survivors left, including Ali "Overbite" Larter from Heroes, Ashanti (who looks and acts all ghetto queen despite the apocalypse), a really cute girl who looks like Dominique Swain but isn't, and we also have the return of Mike Epps and badass Oded Fehr. And Milla Jovovich is back too, as the now super-powered Alice. truthfully I recall very little about the previous plots, but I don't remember her being able to incinerate things with her mind. The screenplay, penned by Paul WS Anderson, is mostly dull, with an evil corporation being evil for no reason, a big storyline simply jettisonsed in the third act, and a bizarrely rushed finale.
I loved them zombie birds though. The film is fairly competent, it's nothing to get worked up over on either side of the opinion line.
THE GAME PLAN
Harmless Disney fun, with The Rock as a superstar QB who discovers he has a long lost 8 year old daughter (who's the cutest btw). You can predict every single thing about the movie before you even enter the theater, but it's carried off with a charm and a sweetness that makes it impossible to not like. The football material is pretty bad though (the CBS guys need to mock Boomer for his lame patter here), and there's a lot of superfluous 3rd act conflict, but The Rock is one of the most likable and charismatic guys out there and the little girl is delightful.
THE KINGDOM
Why, what a delightfully racist and ignorant film you are! Yes, in The Kingdom, every single person of middle eastern descent is either a terrorist or a future terrorist. Oh, except for one guy who exists in the film solely so the filmmakers can try to defend the ridiculous "statement" their work makes. Bill O'Reilly will LOVE this film! It pretends to be a deep, profound film about the way things are out there, but all it truly is is an opportunity for flag-waving buffoons to cheer as a bunch of good guy Americans shoot every brown-skinned person within the frame. Oh, there's no doubt the action scenes are well done, and Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner and Chris Cooper do solid work, as does the poor sap who plays the one nice Saudi. But on a level beyond filmmaking this is a dreadful film.
Ok, I know I'm supposed to say Jessica Alba can't act, but I'm not drinking that kool-aid. In this movie she shows a real knack for goofy, charming comedy. She is hands down the best thing about this movie.
Too bad for her the movie itself stinks, as it is one of the most incoherent, creepy "comedies" I've ever seen. This thing was so ill-conceived from the start that it had no chance.
Ok, Dane Cook. I don't necessarily think he is the worst thing to ever happen to movie comedy. But in NO way does his cocky frat boy "I'm so cool" attitude work for what at points tries to be a sweet romantic comedy. Not since David Spade in Lost & Found has such insincerity been shown in this type of movie, and that's not a movie any other flick should remind a viewer of. He really has no chemistry with Jess. And there's this one terrible scene where his fat black receptionist jumps him, and after making a joke of the woman's lingerie-clad body, the scene abruptly goes all serious where she's like "it's ok, you can imagine someone else" and Dane says "No, I'll only imagine you." On paper this may have been an effective moment...but not with Dane friggin Cook delivering the line. That recalled Shallow Hal, a similarly hateful film that again, no film should be compared to.
And there's all sorts of jarring shifts in the movie. It wants to be a raunchy comedy like Wedding Crashers, but it also wants to be a sweet romance. And for one stretch Dane becomes this absolute lunatic stalker in scenes that I guess are supposed to be funny, but instead are just creepy and unfunny.
But this film's single worst element is a wretched actor named Dan Fogler. He is SO fucking revolting in both his character and performance here that I wanted to shoot myself every moment he was on screen. I can only fathom that he was cast opposite Dane simply to make Dane seem likable by comparison. Every year I do year end awards, bad ones too, including "worst supporting actor" and he is the winner.
RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION
After a big disappointment with RE1 I actually thought RE2 was kinda fun. This one's somewhere in the middle, but I wouldn't avoid a 4th film that the ending here leads into. In this one the whole planet has been destroyed and zombies roam the earth, and there are a handful of survivors left, including Ali "Overbite" Larter from Heroes, Ashanti (who looks and acts all ghetto queen despite the apocalypse), a really cute girl who looks like Dominique Swain but isn't, and we also have the return of Mike Epps and badass Oded Fehr. And Milla Jovovich is back too, as the now super-powered Alice. truthfully I recall very little about the previous plots, but I don't remember her being able to incinerate things with her mind. The screenplay, penned by Paul WS Anderson, is mostly dull, with an evil corporation being evil for no reason, a big storyline simply jettisonsed in the third act, and a bizarrely rushed finale.
I loved them zombie birds though. The film is fairly competent, it's nothing to get worked up over on either side of the opinion line.
THE GAME PLAN
Harmless Disney fun, with The Rock as a superstar QB who discovers he has a long lost 8 year old daughter (who's the cutest btw). You can predict every single thing about the movie before you even enter the theater, but it's carried off with a charm and a sweetness that makes it impossible to not like. The football material is pretty bad though (the CBS guys need to mock Boomer for his lame patter here), and there's a lot of superfluous 3rd act conflict, but The Rock is one of the most likable and charismatic guys out there and the little girl is delightful.
THE KINGDOM
Why, what a delightfully racist and ignorant film you are! Yes, in The Kingdom, every single person of middle eastern descent is either a terrorist or a future terrorist. Oh, except for one guy who exists in the film solely so the filmmakers can try to defend the ridiculous "statement" their work makes. Bill O'Reilly will LOVE this film! It pretends to be a deep, profound film about the way things are out there, but all it truly is is an opportunity for flag-waving buffoons to cheer as a bunch of good guy Americans shoot every brown-skinned person within the frame. Oh, there's no doubt the action scenes are well done, and Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner and Chris Cooper do solid work, as does the poor sap who plays the one nice Saudi. But on a level beyond filmmaking this is a dreadful film.
10/7/07
IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH
In typical idiotic backlash fashion, the moment Paul Haggis' Crash won best picture all you could hear was how bad a film it was. Ludicrous, of course, since it was actually maybe the best film to win in this decade. Haggis' valuable ability to make memorable, moving and engrossing Oscar-level fare is on full display in this film too, which stars a career resurrecting Tommy Lee Jones as a patriotic ex-military officer whose son goes missing after returning from a tour of duty in Iraq. It's hard to believe just a couple years ago Jones was stuck in garbage like Man Of The House. In my book he's the best actor frontrunner now. Matching him is Charlize Theron as a detective who helps Jones, and Susan Sarandon makes the most of her too-minimal screentime. There isn't enough of her, and there's some police station sexism material that's way out of place, but this film avoids cliche in almost every step and is one of the best films of the year.
KING OF CALIFORNIA
Michael Douglas plays a man released from a mental hospital who convinces his teenage daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) that there is a bounty of buried treasure hidden underneath a Costco store. No, this is not a storyline to sustain a feature, and it shows. Douglas clearly is having fun being a nutball, but he's mostly annoying and never feels like a person. Wood is her usual divine self, and I guess if you can believe she finds Marilyn Manson attractive than you can buy it that a smart girl would go along with her crazy dad's treasure hunting scheme.
DISTURBIA
I really liked the first 2/3 of this movie. It was smart, it didn't dumb itself down despite being targeted to teens, it didn't overdo the suspsense scenes, Sarah Roemer was hella cute, etc. Too bad it throws it all away with a crappy finale with lots of noise, and bombast, and of course David Morse goes from being believably creepy to being an unkillable superman. It was like Disturbia became a totally different film at that point.
WE OWN THE NIGHT
I saw this with no real expectations, but I thought this was a really good film. Joaquin Phoenix has become one of the great actors at this point, and I think he's Oscar worthy here, as a NYC club owner torn between the drug dealers and his police family (Mark Wahlberg and Robert Duvall). The acting is really superlative, with those 3 and also the smokin Eva Mendes. Ok, in no way should Danny Hoch ever get cast in anything, but I'll let that slide. The story has a lot of the usual material you see in this genre, but it's handled great and there are a few curveballs in there. Good stuff.
MICHAEL CLAYTON
I had the exact same reaction to this film that I had to Children Of Men earlier in the year. That is, I know it's a very well made and acted film...but I just didn't get into it. I did also have a couple problems with the film (too many subplots, and no discernable change in the title character even though the whole film seems to be ABOUT him changing). Smart directing and writing by novice helmer Tony Gilroy. George Clooney is outstanding, and he's matched by Tom Wilkinson (in the kind of go for broke performance that oughta be remembered in awards season) and Sydney "is my directing interfering with your phone call" Pollack. I wouldn't argue with anyone who calls this a great film, I just didn't see that myself.
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
The Beatles mean nothing to me, but I think even if they did I would not have liked this film. It's at times downright laughable how the filmmakers shoehorn in some songs. I suspect when this film was being written, the writers had a big list of songs that they wanted to get in there, and so they wrote, checking off one by one. It seems the same was done with the story (what story there is), as it's just a pastiche of everything you've ever seen in any film set in the late 60's. The visuals are neat, and the cast is very strong, led by Evan Rachel Wood (good in 2 bad films out right now).
GONE BABY GONE
Here's another well made film that just didn't grab me as expected. I think this one is too similar to Mystic River (same author, same setting, similar plot), and I found some of the things that took place here very unbelievable. But Ben Affleck, always a ridiculously underrated talent in front of the camera, here shows a natural talent behind the camera. You'd never guess he was a first timer. And his brother Casey is really terrific in the lead. I frankly have felt for years this guy got work cause of his last name, but he's had a couple recent performances that have shown a real understated talent. That he can stand up to powerhouses Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris is nothing to sneeze at. I wish Michelle Monaghan had more to do.
THE GOOD GERMAN
This experimental flop from Steven Soderbergh is a true triumph of style. It's done in the fashion of a 50's mystery, and it's remarkable how authentic it looks, right down to the edits and the soundtrack. Even the scuffles are the same clunky ones you see in older films. But the plot is rather boring. George Clooney is stiff and barely registers. I never for one moment bought Cate Blanchett as a German femme fatale. Tobey Maguire's performance shows early promise, but then he vanishes from the film (with reason).
30 DAYS OF NIGHT
We've had all these zombie movies and torture porn flicks lately, but it's been a while since there's been a really good vampire movie. This is it! I thought this was a fantastic success. This thing was smart, it was legitimately creepy, the setting was great (and it's similar to a horror film I'm attempting to write), it went farther than a lot of horror flicks would go, and it had good acting. Josh Hartnett is terrific. I think he gets a bum rap. I was there with this whole film. It's got a few flaws, one in the amount of sunlight you'd actually see right before and after the 30 days. And there are a couple of those "dumb people doing dumb horror movie things", but I'd put this right behind 28 Weeks Later as the year's best horror film.
In typical idiotic backlash fashion, the moment Paul Haggis' Crash won best picture all you could hear was how bad a film it was. Ludicrous, of course, since it was actually maybe the best film to win in this decade. Haggis' valuable ability to make memorable, moving and engrossing Oscar-level fare is on full display in this film too, which stars a career resurrecting Tommy Lee Jones as a patriotic ex-military officer whose son goes missing after returning from a tour of duty in Iraq. It's hard to believe just a couple years ago Jones was stuck in garbage like Man Of The House. In my book he's the best actor frontrunner now. Matching him is Charlize Theron as a detective who helps Jones, and Susan Sarandon makes the most of her too-minimal screentime. There isn't enough of her, and there's some police station sexism material that's way out of place, but this film avoids cliche in almost every step and is one of the best films of the year.
KING OF CALIFORNIA
Michael Douglas plays a man released from a mental hospital who convinces his teenage daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) that there is a bounty of buried treasure hidden underneath a Costco store. No, this is not a storyline to sustain a feature, and it shows. Douglas clearly is having fun being a nutball, but he's mostly annoying and never feels like a person. Wood is her usual divine self, and I guess if you can believe she finds Marilyn Manson attractive than you can buy it that a smart girl would go along with her crazy dad's treasure hunting scheme.
DISTURBIA
I really liked the first 2/3 of this movie. It was smart, it didn't dumb itself down despite being targeted to teens, it didn't overdo the suspsense scenes, Sarah Roemer was hella cute, etc. Too bad it throws it all away with a crappy finale with lots of noise, and bombast, and of course David Morse goes from being believably creepy to being an unkillable superman. It was like Disturbia became a totally different film at that point.
WE OWN THE NIGHT
I saw this with no real expectations, but I thought this was a really good film. Joaquin Phoenix has become one of the great actors at this point, and I think he's Oscar worthy here, as a NYC club owner torn between the drug dealers and his police family (Mark Wahlberg and Robert Duvall). The acting is really superlative, with those 3 and also the smokin Eva Mendes. Ok, in no way should Danny Hoch ever get cast in anything, but I'll let that slide. The story has a lot of the usual material you see in this genre, but it's handled great and there are a few curveballs in there. Good stuff.
MICHAEL CLAYTON
I had the exact same reaction to this film that I had to Children Of Men earlier in the year. That is, I know it's a very well made and acted film...but I just didn't get into it. I did also have a couple problems with the film (too many subplots, and no discernable change in the title character even though the whole film seems to be ABOUT him changing). Smart directing and writing by novice helmer Tony Gilroy. George Clooney is outstanding, and he's matched by Tom Wilkinson (in the kind of go for broke performance that oughta be remembered in awards season) and Sydney "is my directing interfering with your phone call" Pollack. I wouldn't argue with anyone who calls this a great film, I just didn't see that myself.
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
The Beatles mean nothing to me, but I think even if they did I would not have liked this film. It's at times downright laughable how the filmmakers shoehorn in some songs. I suspect when this film was being written, the writers had a big list of songs that they wanted to get in there, and so they wrote, checking off one by one. It seems the same was done with the story (what story there is), as it's just a pastiche of everything you've ever seen in any film set in the late 60's. The visuals are neat, and the cast is very strong, led by Evan Rachel Wood (good in 2 bad films out right now).
GONE BABY GONE
Here's another well made film that just didn't grab me as expected. I think this one is too similar to Mystic River (same author, same setting, similar plot), and I found some of the things that took place here very unbelievable. But Ben Affleck, always a ridiculously underrated talent in front of the camera, here shows a natural talent behind the camera. You'd never guess he was a first timer. And his brother Casey is really terrific in the lead. I frankly have felt for years this guy got work cause of his last name, but he's had a couple recent performances that have shown a real understated talent. That he can stand up to powerhouses Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris is nothing to sneeze at. I wish Michelle Monaghan had more to do.
THE GOOD GERMAN
This experimental flop from Steven Soderbergh is a true triumph of style. It's done in the fashion of a 50's mystery, and it's remarkable how authentic it looks, right down to the edits and the soundtrack. Even the scuffles are the same clunky ones you see in older films. But the plot is rather boring. George Clooney is stiff and barely registers. I never for one moment bought Cate Blanchett as a German femme fatale. Tobey Maguire's performance shows early promise, but then he vanishes from the film (with reason).
30 DAYS OF NIGHT
We've had all these zombie movies and torture porn flicks lately, but it's been a while since there's been a really good vampire movie. This is it! I thought this was a fantastic success. This thing was smart, it was legitimately creepy, the setting was great (and it's similar to a horror film I'm attempting to write), it went farther than a lot of horror flicks would go, and it had good acting. Josh Hartnett is terrific. I think he gets a bum rap. I was there with this whole film. It's got a few flaws, one in the amount of sunlight you'd actually see right before and after the 30 days. And there are a couple of those "dumb people doing dumb horror movie things", but I'd put this right behind 28 Weeks Later as the year's best horror film.
10/28/07
THE DARJEELING LIMITED/HOTEL CHEVALIER
I'm not a huge Wes Anderson fan, but I thought this was his most memorable film. It's the usual hit and miss comedically, but when it took a more serious and emotional turn later on that really worked for me. It showed he's got more to him than forced whimsy. I liked all 3 lead performances, especially Schwartzman.
Now, as for the short film, I found that to be a total throwaway. Natalie's good in it, and there's some good dialogue, but on its own it wasn't much. The much ballyhooed nude scenes were not sexy or even attractive, unless you have a fetish for rib cages. Nat, I know you're a vegetarian, but jesus!!!
THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE
This film isn't much, but it would be nothing if not for the 2 Oscar caliber performances by Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro. The material is soapy and often cheesy, but they rise above it. Alison Lohman's got a too small role in it. I dunno, I almost fell asleep at this movie, it just didn't grab me.
RENDITION
This is one of the year's messiest misfires. I'm more or less on this film's side as far as the torture issue, but the way it's presented here is shamelessly manipulative. Why would an actress of Meryl Streep's stature take such a cartoonish role? Jake Gyllenhaal gives the worst performance of his entire career (I've never seen the movie where he's in a bubble, but I'm sure even THAT performance was better). He spends the whole film either muttering or just staring at things, and his big act late in the film was not convincing at all. Reese "The Peese" Witherspoon is very good, but her role is surprisingly small really. I did like Peter Sarsgaard and Alan Arkin, as I did the seemingly simultaneous storyline involving a Muslim boy and girl. Where that part went was I thought very effective.
300
So this is what passes for a sensation these days? Honestly, if this thing did not have all-CGI backgrounds, would anyone have given a flip about this story? In fact, given how most of these big battles are CGI-d up anyway these days, this film has nothing new to offer. The gratuitous slow-mo was irritating. I hated the cheesy narration. Leonidas was not a compelling character, he was a dick. I wanted him to die. Yes the fx work is very good, but this had one of the least involving "epic" stories in recent memory.
FREEDOM WRITERS
Yes, this is another one of those "teacher inspires students" films, not to mention the umpteenth film about the inner city told with a white character in the lead. And Hilary Swank's performance teeters on laughable much of the way. But it does mean well, and focuses on the students a decent amount. It's funny how Imelda Staunton plays basically the same character she played in the last Harry Potter btw. And the film is set in 1994, so the soundtrack is aces!
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
Awful. I shut it off after an hour, and I can't imagine how I made it that far. Annette Bening is quite simply the worst actress alive. Yes, even worse than Kidman. She is so shrill and robotic here. She was in American Beauty too of course, but since everything else in that film was so memorable it didn't make a big difference. Here the movie around her is dreadful too, all smug and pretentious. Even Evan Rachel Wood isn't good in it. Wow, she's been in a lot of bad movies in the last year.
I'm not a huge Wes Anderson fan, but I thought this was his most memorable film. It's the usual hit and miss comedically, but when it took a more serious and emotional turn later on that really worked for me. It showed he's got more to him than forced whimsy. I liked all 3 lead performances, especially Schwartzman.
Now, as for the short film, I found that to be a total throwaway. Natalie's good in it, and there's some good dialogue, but on its own it wasn't much. The much ballyhooed nude scenes were not sexy or even attractive, unless you have a fetish for rib cages. Nat, I know you're a vegetarian, but jesus!!!
THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE
This film isn't much, but it would be nothing if not for the 2 Oscar caliber performances by Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro. The material is soapy and often cheesy, but they rise above it. Alison Lohman's got a too small role in it. I dunno, I almost fell asleep at this movie, it just didn't grab me.
RENDITION
This is one of the year's messiest misfires. I'm more or less on this film's side as far as the torture issue, but the way it's presented here is shamelessly manipulative. Why would an actress of Meryl Streep's stature take such a cartoonish role? Jake Gyllenhaal gives the worst performance of his entire career (I've never seen the movie where he's in a bubble, but I'm sure even THAT performance was better). He spends the whole film either muttering or just staring at things, and his big act late in the film was not convincing at all. Reese "The Peese" Witherspoon is very good, but her role is surprisingly small really. I did like Peter Sarsgaard and Alan Arkin, as I did the seemingly simultaneous storyline involving a Muslim boy and girl. Where that part went was I thought very effective.
300
So this is what passes for a sensation these days? Honestly, if this thing did not have all-CGI backgrounds, would anyone have given a flip about this story? In fact, given how most of these big battles are CGI-d up anyway these days, this film has nothing new to offer. The gratuitous slow-mo was irritating. I hated the cheesy narration. Leonidas was not a compelling character, he was a dick. I wanted him to die. Yes the fx work is very good, but this had one of the least involving "epic" stories in recent memory.
FREEDOM WRITERS
Yes, this is another one of those "teacher inspires students" films, not to mention the umpteenth film about the inner city told with a white character in the lead. And Hilary Swank's performance teeters on laughable much of the way. But it does mean well, and focuses on the students a decent amount. It's funny how Imelda Staunton plays basically the same character she played in the last Harry Potter btw. And the film is set in 1994, so the soundtrack is aces!
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
Awful. I shut it off after an hour, and I can't imagine how I made it that far. Annette Bening is quite simply the worst actress alive. Yes, even worse than Kidman. She is so shrill and robotic here. She was in American Beauty too of course, but since everything else in that film was so memorable it didn't make a big difference. Here the movie around her is dreadful too, all smug and pretentious. Even Evan Rachel Wood isn't good in it. Wow, she's been in a lot of bad movies in the last year.
11/7/07
AMERICAN GANGSTER
I saw the trailer for this film prior to, seriously, everything I went to for about 3 months. I was able to easily spot all the trailer shots during the film. But I digress. This Ridley Scott-helmed epic has the pedigree for greatness, and it achieves goodness. Denzel's rock solid as always, though his performance is not particularly new, even from him. Russell Crowe though is very, very good and gives his first particularly memorable performance since Gladiator. The supporting cast is stellar, the music is great, the detail is impeccable. The film's pretty long though, and doesn't offer much novelty to this kind of story. I actually thought a couple of the more interesting tidbits of the story were thrown in at the end. It's a very well done film, but I hoped for a classic.
INTO THE WILD
My friend Jamie has a life plan to retire young and then go live out in the woods somewhere. I might want him to check this film out beforehand just so he doesn't end up like the Emile Hirsch character here.![]()
Hirsch portrays a real guy who graduated college, then gave up all his possessions in order to travel the country on foot, eventually reaching, as Homer would say, the great country of Alaska. That story, coupled with noted liberal Sean Penn being the writer/director, could signal a kind of ultra liberal message movie...but it's not. Its a wonderful film, compelling the entire way. There are great bits with the people Hirsch meets, including Hal Holbrook, Catherine Keener, Vince Vaughn (nice to see him in a serious part again) and my future wife Kristen Stewart. Hirsch's parents are portrayed as cartoonishly evil, and there's too much narration, but those aren't big problems in one of the year's finest films.
I saw the trailer for this film prior to, seriously, everything I went to for about 3 months. I was able to easily spot all the trailer shots during the film. But I digress. This Ridley Scott-helmed epic has the pedigree for greatness, and it achieves goodness. Denzel's rock solid as always, though his performance is not particularly new, even from him. Russell Crowe though is very, very good and gives his first particularly memorable performance since Gladiator. The supporting cast is stellar, the music is great, the detail is impeccable. The film's pretty long though, and doesn't offer much novelty to this kind of story. I actually thought a couple of the more interesting tidbits of the story were thrown in at the end. It's a very well done film, but I hoped for a classic.
INTO THE WILD
My friend Jamie has a life plan to retire young and then go live out in the woods somewhere. I might want him to check this film out beforehand just so he doesn't end up like the Emile Hirsch character here.
Hirsch portrays a real guy who graduated college, then gave up all his possessions in order to travel the country on foot, eventually reaching, as Homer would say, the great country of Alaska. That story, coupled with noted liberal Sean Penn being the writer/director, could signal a kind of ultra liberal message movie...but it's not. Its a wonderful film, compelling the entire way. There are great bits with the people Hirsch meets, including Hal Holbrook, Catherine Keener, Vince Vaughn (nice to see him in a serious part again) and my future wife Kristen Stewart. Hirsch's parents are portrayed as cartoonishly evil, and there's too much narration, but those aren't big problems in one of the year's finest films.11/10/07
BEE MOVIE
Um, I thought it would BE better. It's nicely animated, and it's energetic, and is clever, but with Jerry Seinfeld as the mastermind I expected something funnier and more distincive. It's kind of the same basic story as a lot of these animated flicks. This one does shift gears a lot, and the last half of the movie is alarmingly quick.
THE INVISIBLE
I really really liked parts of the story here, where a high school kid is left for dead, and is then a ghost sort of, who then has to somehow get his body found before he actually does die. It's neat how he follows around the girl who did the deed. I remember the trailer made it seem like that girl was his gf or something, so the actual twist was novel. That girl, a newbie actress, is quite alluring, and the main character is well acted by Justin Chatwin (Tommy Cruise's son in War Of The Worlds...remember, the one who somehow didn't die there either?). Marcia Gay Harden is awful as his mom, and it may be time to revoke her Oscar (j/k). The film is not great, but its got more going for it than many thrillers with more on-paper appeal.
THE HOST
VERY disappointing. This creature feature from Korea, in which a monster snatches people and takes them into the river, fails to be scary, funny or dramatic (which seemed to be its goal). There is really some embarrassingly overdone acting in this thing, reminiscent of the bug eyed actors from Ju-On. I didn't find the whole goverment lockdown story too good either. It was done far better in 28 Weeks Later.
BREACH
A well acted thriller, but it lacks the thrills. It didn't seem intended to be a formula thriller, since there are no big action scenes or anything. Everything is very subtle. That's not all bad. It leads Ryan Phillippe into arguably the best performance of his career. Chris Cooper is terrific, and hey, can't go wrong with Dennis Haysbert. But a little more sizzle would've made for a better film.
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
In this movie, Ryan Gosling plays Lars, a shy, sweet fellow who orders a sex doll off the internet, then passes her off as his new gf Bianca. As a raunchy comedy, or a farce, or for pure wackiness that could work very well. But this movie is completely ridiculous, as the premise is played for sentiment, and even drama at the end. I found it completely retarded that everyone goes along with Gosling's delusion, that "Bianca" is real. Patricia Clarkson, a fine actress, plays the kind of doctor who would have a malpractice suit levied against her for what she does in the film. Really everyone here is very good, especially Paul Schneider and the ray of sunshine Emily Mortimer, but the very center of the film failed for me totally.
FRED CLAUS
This is a strange one. It's not quite the goopy Christmas movie you usually see (except with the very cheesy ending), but it's not in that Bad Santa territory either. It's PG. Vince Vaughn does his usual shtick. Paul Giamatti is outdone by his fat suit. Rachel Weisz is wasted. Kevin Spacey is a one note villain (and again with the Superman references???). Elizabeth Banks is eye candy. Ludacris' face is super-imposed on a midget's body. It's got enough laughs to earn a slight pass.
LICENSE TO WED
Mandy, I love ya, but oh man has she had a terrible year at the movies. First came Because I Said So, and now this wretched, forced, and just unlikable comedy. Mandy and her beau are gonna get married, but first they have to pass a marriage prep course administered by Robin Williams, who is at his most manic (rarely a good thing). The course is not only designed to ruin a marriage, but it'd probably make someone a friggin atheist. Mandy and her guy are presented as a sweet, totally nice match, so it's just a pain watching the events unfold here, leading to the utterly predictable 3rd act. I pitied Mandy in this. She's so sweet as always, but she has no chance. Williams, whose comedic ventures are getting worse as his dramatic turns are becoming better, is insufferable, as he spends 90 minutes doing lame shtick. I hated this movie, it's one of the worst of the year.
Um, I thought it would BE better. It's nicely animated, and it's energetic, and is clever, but with Jerry Seinfeld as the mastermind I expected something funnier and more distincive. It's kind of the same basic story as a lot of these animated flicks. This one does shift gears a lot, and the last half of the movie is alarmingly quick.
THE INVISIBLE
I really really liked parts of the story here, where a high school kid is left for dead, and is then a ghost sort of, who then has to somehow get his body found before he actually does die. It's neat how he follows around the girl who did the deed. I remember the trailer made it seem like that girl was his gf or something, so the actual twist was novel. That girl, a newbie actress, is quite alluring, and the main character is well acted by Justin Chatwin (Tommy Cruise's son in War Of The Worlds...remember, the one who somehow didn't die there either?). Marcia Gay Harden is awful as his mom, and it may be time to revoke her Oscar (j/k). The film is not great, but its got more going for it than many thrillers with more on-paper appeal.
THE HOST
VERY disappointing. This creature feature from Korea, in which a monster snatches people and takes them into the river, fails to be scary, funny or dramatic (which seemed to be its goal). There is really some embarrassingly overdone acting in this thing, reminiscent of the bug eyed actors from Ju-On. I didn't find the whole goverment lockdown story too good either. It was done far better in 28 Weeks Later.
BREACH
A well acted thriller, but it lacks the thrills. It didn't seem intended to be a formula thriller, since there are no big action scenes or anything. Everything is very subtle. That's not all bad. It leads Ryan Phillippe into arguably the best performance of his career. Chris Cooper is terrific, and hey, can't go wrong with Dennis Haysbert. But a little more sizzle would've made for a better film.
LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
In this movie, Ryan Gosling plays Lars, a shy, sweet fellow who orders a sex doll off the internet, then passes her off as his new gf Bianca. As a raunchy comedy, or a farce, or for pure wackiness that could work very well. But this movie is completely ridiculous, as the premise is played for sentiment, and even drama at the end. I found it completely retarded that everyone goes along with Gosling's delusion, that "Bianca" is real. Patricia Clarkson, a fine actress, plays the kind of doctor who would have a malpractice suit levied against her for what she does in the film. Really everyone here is very good, especially Paul Schneider and the ray of sunshine Emily Mortimer, but the very center of the film failed for me totally.
FRED CLAUS
This is a strange one. It's not quite the goopy Christmas movie you usually see (except with the very cheesy ending), but it's not in that Bad Santa territory either. It's PG. Vince Vaughn does his usual shtick. Paul Giamatti is outdone by his fat suit. Rachel Weisz is wasted. Kevin Spacey is a one note villain (and again with the Superman references???). Elizabeth Banks is eye candy. Ludacris' face is super-imposed on a midget's body. It's got enough laughs to earn a slight pass.
LICENSE TO WED
Mandy, I love ya, but oh man has she had a terrible year at the movies. First came Because I Said So, and now this wretched, forced, and just unlikable comedy. Mandy and her beau are gonna get married, but first they have to pass a marriage prep course administered by Robin Williams, who is at his most manic (rarely a good thing). The course is not only designed to ruin a marriage, but it'd probably make someone a friggin atheist. Mandy and her guy are presented as a sweet, totally nice match, so it's just a pain watching the events unfold here, leading to the utterly predictable 3rd act. I pitied Mandy in this. She's so sweet as always, but she has no chance. Williams, whose comedic ventures are getting worse as his dramatic turns are becoming better, is insufferable, as he spends 90 minutes doing lame shtick. I hated this movie, it's one of the worst of the year.
11/17/07
MR. MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM
I had very low expectations for this movie, and they were pretty much met. I know this is a movie geared towards kids, and not jaded 28 year olds like myself, but I can and do have an appreciation for quality children's fare. this ain't it.
Natalie Portman's better than this. She's presented here in a bizarrely asexual way. I swear to god they taped her breasts down!![]()
I thought that finger thing she always did came off like some sort of disorder. Britanny Murphy did the same thing in Don't Say A Word...and she was playing a mental patient! Through it all her charm, and her downright radiant smile made the movie tolerable for me. I also did like Jason Bateman as the uptight accountant.
Dustin Hoffman's performance is probably destined to go down as one of the worst of his long career. It didn't even seem like he was interested in interacting with anyone else on screen. The lisp was annoying, the things he said were annoying.
I am amazed so little wit was in the script, cause Zach Helm just last year penned the brilliant Stranger Than Fiction. He just creates a lot of frenetic energy, and bright colors and poor fx, and maybe that'll satisfy the little ones.
This is easily the worst movie Natalie has ever had a leading role in. She'll get it through it, cause no one ever holds a bad children's film against anybody.
3 out of 10
Natalie Portman's better than this. She's presented here in a bizarrely asexual way. I swear to god they taped her breasts down!
I thought that finger thing she always did came off like some sort of disorder. Britanny Murphy did the same thing in Don't Say A Word...and she was playing a mental patient! Through it all her charm, and her downright radiant smile made the movie tolerable for me. I also did like Jason Bateman as the uptight accountant.Dustin Hoffman's performance is probably destined to go down as one of the worst of his long career. It didn't even seem like he was interested in interacting with anyone else on screen. The lisp was annoying, the things he said were annoying.
I am amazed so little wit was in the script, cause Zach Helm just last year penned the brilliant Stranger Than Fiction. He just creates a lot of frenetic energy, and bright colors and poor fx, and maybe that'll satisfy the little ones.
This is easily the worst movie Natalie has ever had a leading role in. She'll get it through it, cause no one ever holds a bad children's film against anybody.
3 out of 10
11/18/07
SOUTHLAND TALES
Richard Kelly's follow-up to Donnie Darko arrives with only a minimal release, due to a scathing reaction to its premiere at Cannes 2006, and with largely awful reviews.
Oh well, I thought this film was pretty damn excellent. Like Darko, I couldn't understand anything IN it, but I was transfixed from minute one by its ceaseless creativity and warped vision.
Describing the plot is impossible, except to just say what the parts are. You've got an action star with amnesia (The Rock in his most interesting performance to date), a sexy as hell Sarah Michelle Gellar as a porn star, Mandy Moore as The Rock's wife (and you get to hear her say "cockchuggers"), a never better Seann William Scott as twins, a whole bunch of current and former Saturday Night Live cast members (including a serious Jon Lovitz as a brutal cop), has-been action star Christopher Lambert, an unreognizable Kevin Smith, that creepy woman from Poltergeist, Wallace Shawn in drag, SUV's having sex (it's funny), a floating ice cream truck, time travel, the 2008 presidential election, a few dance numbers...and in the film's biggest flaw, an irritating role by Justin "why the hell do directors cast him?" Timberlake, who narrates at times too.
I'm puzzled by the harsh response to this film, since Darko was not only a cult hit but well received overall despite having the same theoretical flaws as this film. For me, I think I've found a new director to salivate over each new film he does.
GEORGIA RULE
A deeply unpleasant film to sit through. I'm amazed this was marketed a a nice, fun, down home comedy, cause about a half hour into this all the upbeat stuff is jettisoned and the rest of the film is an "is she or isn't she lying" tug of war about whether or not Lindsay Lohan was molested by her stepfather. Frankly, considering how distasteful I found the coke whore's performance (despite the sexual stuff), I couldn't care less about her misfortune. Jane Fonda just plays a caricature, and Felicity Huffman is drunk the whole last half of the film. Director Garry Marshall has no clue how to present this story, since he's made a career of being the king of fluff.
WRONG TURN 2
The original didn't make much money, so that's probably why this didn't get a theatrical release, but I thought this was actually pretty good stuff. This time a bunch of reality show contestants get picked off in the woods by the mutant cannibals. Among them are Daniella Alonso (from Hills Have Eyes 2), Erica Leershen (from Blair Witch 2), Crystal Lowe (from Final Destination 2), and Aleksa Palladino (who I'd never seen before but who's just really cute). And Henry Rollins is the ex-military show host, who goes all commando to fight back against the cannibals. It's fun. I like the very idea of reality stars being killed (the opening features the demise of Kimberly Caldwell, who's an actual reality person I think??), and a few of the kills had a real impact.
Richard Kelly's follow-up to Donnie Darko arrives with only a minimal release, due to a scathing reaction to its premiere at Cannes 2006, and with largely awful reviews.
Oh well, I thought this film was pretty damn excellent. Like Darko, I couldn't understand anything IN it, but I was transfixed from minute one by its ceaseless creativity and warped vision.
Describing the plot is impossible, except to just say what the parts are. You've got an action star with amnesia (The Rock in his most interesting performance to date), a sexy as hell Sarah Michelle Gellar as a porn star, Mandy Moore as The Rock's wife (and you get to hear her say "cockchuggers"), a never better Seann William Scott as twins, a whole bunch of current and former Saturday Night Live cast members (including a serious Jon Lovitz as a brutal cop), has-been action star Christopher Lambert, an unreognizable Kevin Smith, that creepy woman from Poltergeist, Wallace Shawn in drag, SUV's having sex (it's funny), a floating ice cream truck, time travel, the 2008 presidential election, a few dance numbers...and in the film's biggest flaw, an irritating role by Justin "why the hell do directors cast him?" Timberlake, who narrates at times too.
I'm puzzled by the harsh response to this film, since Darko was not only a cult hit but well received overall despite having the same theoretical flaws as this film. For me, I think I've found a new director to salivate over each new film he does.
GEORGIA RULE
A deeply unpleasant film to sit through. I'm amazed this was marketed a a nice, fun, down home comedy, cause about a half hour into this all the upbeat stuff is jettisoned and the rest of the film is an "is she or isn't she lying" tug of war about whether or not Lindsay Lohan was molested by her stepfather. Frankly, considering how distasteful I found the coke whore's performance (despite the sexual stuff), I couldn't care less about her misfortune. Jane Fonda just plays a caricature, and Felicity Huffman is drunk the whole last half of the film. Director Garry Marshall has no clue how to present this story, since he's made a career of being the king of fluff.
WRONG TURN 2
The original didn't make much money, so that's probably why this didn't get a theatrical release, but I thought this was actually pretty good stuff. This time a bunch of reality show contestants get picked off in the woods by the mutant cannibals. Among them are Daniella Alonso (from Hills Have Eyes 2), Erica Leershen (from Blair Witch 2), Crystal Lowe (from Final Destination 2), and Aleksa Palladino (who I'd never seen before but who's just really cute). And Henry Rollins is the ex-military show host, who goes all commando to fight back against the cannibals. It's fun. I like the very idea of reality stars being killed (the opening features the demise of Kimberly Caldwell, who's an actual reality person I think??), and a few of the kills had a real impact.
11/28/07
I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Virtually unseen, yet infamous as pretty much the film that ended Lindsay Lohan's career. I wish I could say it provided the kind of perverse thrills that only a true fiasco can (like Battlefield Earth), but it doesn't. It's just a dull bore mostly. I almost admire Lohan for taking on this kind of role, it IS kind of ballsy. But even if you had no real life baggage to think of during the film, this thing would be screwed anyway because of her. We all know she has talent, but her performance here makes me doubt she has it anymore. There's her insistently off-putting, monotone delivery, and she does not even appear to be interested in acting in scenes with anyone else. Even her stripping scenes don't excite at all. Even her sex scene is a dud.The movie is a mess, a moody but incoherent mix of torture porn, mystery, black comedy and drama.
CAPTIVITY
I'm quite certain that, aside from maybe the first and last ten minutes, you could rearrange every scene into any other order and it would make just as much sense. A killer nabs a famous model (played by Elisha Cuthbert, who imo is close behind Jessica Alba as the most scrumptious actress in the biz) and subjects her to...you guessed it...a serious of tortures, all of which feel like rejected ideas from the last Saw movie. The bloody milkshake was pretty nasty, I'll give em that one. Yuck! The film is edited so astonishingly bad that Elisha will be in the middle of one ordeal, then the next moment will be free of it with no clue as to how. There's a lame twist near the end, and Elisha finds out the truth, yet at no point did they show us HOW she could know. Elisha's a damn good actress, but this is a waste. She's got plenty of gratuitous cleavage shots though.
12/7/07
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Brilliant from the word go. This is the best film the Coens have done since The Big Lebowski, and it's right there with Fargo too. My lone quibble would be that those fringe characters (like Woody Harrelson and Stephen Root) roles in the story were a little fuzzy. Everything else is about as great as anything 2007 has delivered. Amazing cinematography, great performances by Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones (with this and Elah he better get nominated for SOMETHING!) and the instantly iconic Javier Bardem. Some scenes of unbearable tension, mixed with scenes of hilarious black comedy. This film has it all, and maybe Minnesota's finest, the Coens, will walk away with some hardware in February.
THE MIST
Slow, drab, and ultimately depressing as hell, The Mist was just an unpleasant 2 hours. Frank Darabont excelled with The Green Mile and Shawshank, but he directs this like it were the same kind of film. It's SO SLOW! The fx creature attacks are average at best and not real scary. The acting is spotty, with former Oscar winner Marcia Gay Harden continuing her trend of giving absolutely godawful performances. The ending does earn points for chutzpah, but it also left me severaly bummed out leaving the theater.
THE REAPING
Hilary Swank looks awfully fetching here as a blond, but this movie is just dopey. She's some sort of scientist who finds rational explanations for odd occurrences. So she's asked to this small town to look into why their river is filled with blood, then everyone in town insults her the whole time. There's a spooky little girl who is evil, but then not?? I dunno. To be honest, I've already forgotten the movie.
AWAKE
Pretty original, pretty creepy, damn Jessica Alba is pretty.![]()
Hayden Christensen is a guy who goes in for a heart transplant, but the anaesthetic doesn't fully take, so he's awake yet paralyzed for the procedure. That stuff is gross (I could never be a doctor). The story winds up being pretty crafty, I thought, with some unexpected twists. It's a movie that's hard to even explain without giving it all away. Jess, my future wife even if she don't know it yet, gives a strong performance (and I saw the trailer for The Eye, which looks like it may shut her haters up finally). Hayden, as he always does, straddles the line between good and awful, but I'd say he comes out strong. Terrence Howard is great as the surgeon. I even liked Lena Olin, which is something I never thought I'd say.
Brilliant from the word go. This is the best film the Coens have done since The Big Lebowski, and it's right there with Fargo too. My lone quibble would be that those fringe characters (like Woody Harrelson and Stephen Root) roles in the story were a little fuzzy. Everything else is about as great as anything 2007 has delivered. Amazing cinematography, great performances by Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones (with this and Elah he better get nominated for SOMETHING!) and the instantly iconic Javier Bardem. Some scenes of unbearable tension, mixed with scenes of hilarious black comedy. This film has it all, and maybe Minnesota's finest, the Coens, will walk away with some hardware in February.
THE MIST
Slow, drab, and ultimately depressing as hell, The Mist was just an unpleasant 2 hours. Frank Darabont excelled with The Green Mile and Shawshank, but he directs this like it were the same kind of film. It's SO SLOW! The fx creature attacks are average at best and not real scary. The acting is spotty, with former Oscar winner Marcia Gay Harden continuing her trend of giving absolutely godawful performances. The ending does earn points for chutzpah, but it also left me severaly bummed out leaving the theater.
THE REAPING
Hilary Swank looks awfully fetching here as a blond, but this movie is just dopey. She's some sort of scientist who finds rational explanations for odd occurrences. So she's asked to this small town to look into why their river is filled with blood, then everyone in town insults her the whole time. There's a spooky little girl who is evil, but then not?? I dunno. To be honest, I've already forgotten the movie.
AWAKE
Pretty original, pretty creepy, damn Jessica Alba is pretty.
Hayden Christensen is a guy who goes in for a heart transplant, but the anaesthetic doesn't fully take, so he's awake yet paralyzed for the procedure. That stuff is gross (I could never be a doctor). The story winds up being pretty crafty, I thought, with some unexpected twists. It's a movie that's hard to even explain without giving it all away. Jess, my future wife even if she don't know it yet, gives a strong performance (and I saw the trailer for The Eye, which looks like it may shut her haters up finally). Hayden, as he always does, straddles the line between good and awful, but I'd say he comes out strong. Terrence Howard is great as the surgeon. I even liked Lena Olin, which is something I never thought I'd say.12/13/07
ENCHANTED
I didn't think this made fun of the Disney formula nearly as much as it lazily followed it. The funniest bits were in the trailer, and what's really here is a spirited, mildly charming, but utterly forgettable movie. Amy Adams is the real deal though. She's impeccable. And James Marsden was pretty amusing too. The dragon fight ending was pretty lousy though.
DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE
This thing makes the Charlie's Angels movies look like pillars of substance and plot. I did enjoy the pure energy of this thing for a while, but then freakin Eric Roberst showed up and it went downhill. I enjoyed this movie the most in my lower extremeties, thanks to Jamie Pressly and the OMFG HAWT Holly Valance. I don't usually get so blunt, but I wanna fuck every square inch of that woman!
EVAN ALMIGHTY
A total waste of money to be sure. NO WAY should this have cost $150 million-plus. But I actually enjoyed this a little bit, arguably more than Bruce Almighty. Steve Carell gets some good laughs. It's actually got a decent story, and some heart too.
I didn't think this made fun of the Disney formula nearly as much as it lazily followed it. The funniest bits were in the trailer, and what's really here is a spirited, mildly charming, but utterly forgettable movie. Amy Adams is the real deal though. She's impeccable. And James Marsden was pretty amusing too. The dragon fight ending was pretty lousy though.
DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE
This thing makes the Charlie's Angels movies look like pillars of substance and plot. I did enjoy the pure energy of this thing for a while, but then freakin Eric Roberst showed up and it went downhill. I enjoyed this movie the most in my lower extremeties, thanks to Jamie Pressly and the OMFG HAWT Holly Valance. I don't usually get so blunt, but I wanna fuck every square inch of that woman!
EVAN ALMIGHTY
A total waste of money to be sure. NO WAY should this have cost $150 million-plus. But I actually enjoyed this a little bit, arguably more than Bruce Almighty. Steve Carell gets some good laughs. It's actually got a decent story, and some heart too.
12/15/07
I AM LEGEND
Director Francis Lawrence made his name in music videos (including "I'm A Slave 4 U"), then made his feature debut with the brilliant, and criminally underrated Constantine. And now it's safe to say he is a truly great filmmaker, as his 2nd film I Am Legend is again among the best films in its year.Will Smith, in arguably the best and most powerful performance of his career, plays the last man alive in NYC, some 3 years after a cancer cure-turned-virus has wiped out the human race, and turned many into vampire-like creatures. By day Smith, a scientist who was immune to the virus, desperately searches for a cure.
I love apocalypse films. The very idea always fascinates me, and with this and 28 Weeks Later it's been quite a year for them. Forget the vampire stuff. It's effective, don't get me wrong. Lawrence puts a couple sequences of darkness into the film that go on agonizingly long til you're scared crazy! But the monster sequences are the least effective part of the film. Watching Smith navigate this desolate world is the gripper for me. It's an amazingly varied and deep performance, and frankly it is every bit as nomination worthy as his work in Ali or The Pursuit Of Happyness. And the dog made me cry. Come on, that was SO sad!
The film loses a trace of steam in the last third when a couple other characters enter the picture, and the Shrek scene shoulda been left on the cutting room floor imo. But then it picks it back up again for a powerful finish.
GREAT film, so much more than a popcorn movie (as one review I read dismissed it), and yet not even the best film I saw today!
JUNO
Presenting the best film of 2007!
I absolutely LOVED Juno. I loved the entire thing, and would have to strain to find a single notable flaw.
The glorious Ellen Page is Juno, a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant after shtupping her best friend (Michael Cera, almost reprising his Superbad character, and great as he was there) one night. She decides to have the kid, and to give it up for adoption to a couple (Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman).
This movie had me laughing hard from the get go. The writing (by fellow Minnesotan Diablo Cody) is ridiculously creative. It's definitely in that Apatow vein where the characters seem almost too witty yet feel real. But this is better though, cause its got more heart. I thought Jennifer Garner was really something here. She starts out as a baby-hungry robot almost but comes to be incredibly empathetic. JK Simmons is absolutely brilliant as Juno's dad. I dug Olivia Thirlby as Juno's best gal pal. The thing's just about the best cast film I've seen. Ellen Page of course shines the most, and any award she receives in the coming months won't be enough reward. She gives the most complete and believable performance of the year. Nothing about her gets overplayed. I was already crushing on her big time before this. Now it might be a "Natalie, who?" situation!
Juno has had plenty of praise and all so far, but it's not even enough. It's one of the best and smartest and funniest and most heartfelt movies I have ever seen. BEST FILM OF 2007. PERIOD!
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(ps, caught the trailer for The Dark Knight, and consider me stoked. Looks like Heath Ledger has nailed it!)
12/22/07
THE GOLDEN COMPASS
The first half hour is awful. It is impossibly confusing, and we're subjected to far too much Nicole Kidman, who is defying the odds and getting uglier. She seriously looks like Michael Jackson at this point, which is to say nothing of her typically dreadful acting.
But then the main adventure kicks in, the plot becomes more clear, and the film is entertaining. I really liked the spunky Dakota Blue Richards as the main girl, the hero. I enjoyed Sam Elliott as always. Eva Green is kinda hot as a witch. I loved the ice bears. The movie is clunky, but Harry Potter was clunky at the start too. But this movie bombed, so no chance to see this one evolve.
SWEENEY TODD
Tim Burton's best film since Ed Wood. Everything about this musical fits Burton perfectly. The look is great, the songs are pretty good. Johnny Depp is awesome, finally freed from that awful Pirates trilogy. I do wish Burton had cast someone other than his wife, Helena Bonzo Bonham Carter as the female lead, cause her singing is not very good. And that one obvious dreamboat guy bugged me a bit. Loved seeing Borat get his throat slit. It happened one movie too late imo!!!
NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS
About as good as the first one, and it's basically the same movie just with different landmarks. I just love the convoluted creativity of these movies. As with the first one, they have a villain that the story barely requires (though it allows Nic Cage and Ed Harris to have a Rock reunion). Jon Voight gets a bumped up part, and Helen Mirren has some fun with a non-serious role. As always Cage enlivens everything with his oddities. There are some plot contrivances (no reason Cage should be chased by the secret service in the 3rd act), but how could there not be?
SHREK THE THIRD
Lazy, and totally without a reason for existing. It's like a sitcom Shrek. We learn Justin Timberlake can't even VOICE ACT! Love Puss In Boots of course, and I laughed once in a while, but my god stop wasting hundreds of millions of dollars with this franchise!
The first half hour is awful. It is impossibly confusing, and we're subjected to far too much Nicole Kidman, who is defying the odds and getting uglier. She seriously looks like Michael Jackson at this point, which is to say nothing of her typically dreadful acting.
But then the main adventure kicks in, the plot becomes more clear, and the film is entertaining. I really liked the spunky Dakota Blue Richards as the main girl, the hero. I enjoyed Sam Elliott as always. Eva Green is kinda hot as a witch. I loved the ice bears. The movie is clunky, but Harry Potter was clunky at the start too. But this movie bombed, so no chance to see this one evolve.
SWEENEY TODD
Tim Burton's best film since Ed Wood. Everything about this musical fits Burton perfectly. The look is great, the songs are pretty good. Johnny Depp is awesome, finally freed from that awful Pirates trilogy. I do wish Burton had cast someone other than his wife, Helena Bonzo Bonham Carter as the female lead, cause her singing is not very good. And that one obvious dreamboat guy bugged me a bit. Loved seeing Borat get his throat slit. It happened one movie too late imo!!!
NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS
About as good as the first one, and it's basically the same movie just with different landmarks. I just love the convoluted creativity of these movies. As with the first one, they have a villain that the story barely requires (though it allows Nic Cage and Ed Harris to have a Rock reunion). Jon Voight gets a bumped up part, and Helen Mirren has some fun with a non-serious role. As always Cage enlivens everything with his oddities. There are some plot contrivances (no reason Cage should be chased by the secret service in the 3rd act), but how could there not be?
SHREK THE THIRD
Lazy, and totally without a reason for existing. It's like a sitcom Shrek. We learn Justin Timberlake can't even VOICE ACT! Love Puss In Boots of course, and I laughed once in a while, but my god stop wasting hundreds of millions of dollars with this franchise!
NEXT
I found Nic Cage's hair to be immensely distracting here. It looks like the makeup team just glued a black mop to the back of his head.
Anyway, onto the story, Cage is this guy who can see 2 minutes into the future, but only his own. This ability makes him the target of a bunch of feds (led by the pissy Julianne Moore), who say they need his help yet act like they want him dead. Cage hooks up with the ever so yummy Jessica Biel, and yes, those 2 making out is a bit creepy. They all get involved in trying to stop a nuclear bomb detonation.
Next is a midly diverting B-movie for the most part, but it falls apart at the end, and for the life of me I did not understand the ending one bit. I have no idea what happened.
I found Nic Cage's hair to be immensely distracting here. It looks like the makeup team just glued a black mop to the back of his head.
Anyway, onto the story, Cage is this guy who can see 2 minutes into the future, but only his own. This ability makes him the target of a bunch of feds (led by the pissy Julianne Moore), who say they need his help yet act like they want him dead. Cage hooks up with the ever so yummy Jessica Biel, and yes, those 2 making out is a bit creepy. They all get involved in trying to stop a nuclear bomb detonation.
Next is a midly diverting B-movie for the most part, but it falls apart at the end, and for the life of me I did not understand the ending one bit. I have no idea what happened.
12/26/07
CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR
First off, don't worry if you think this is another one of these serious Iraq war movies. Different war, although in a way this true story leads us to the place that led to the Iraq war.
Tom Hanks is the best he has been in some time as the somewhat sleazy congressman who leads a complicated covert war. Julia Roberts is ok as a millionaire socialite, but she's not nearly as good as she was in Closer, also directed by Mike Nichols (hard to believe he began the decade helming What Planet Are You From?). Philip Seymour Hoffman is flat out great as the disgruntled CIA agent. My new fiancee Amy Adams has some nice moments. And ooh, my once future wifey Shiri Appleby pops up.
The film manages to have real substance and also be quite fun and very funny at times. Hard to manage that.
First off, don't worry if you think this is another one of these serious Iraq war movies. Different war, although in a way this true story leads us to the place that led to the Iraq war.
Tom Hanks is the best he has been in some time as the somewhat sleazy congressman who leads a complicated covert war. Julia Roberts is ok as a millionaire socialite, but she's not nearly as good as she was in Closer, also directed by Mike Nichols (hard to believe he began the decade helming What Planet Are You From?). Philip Seymour Hoffman is flat out great as the disgruntled CIA agent. My new fiancee Amy Adams has some nice moments. And ooh, my once future wifey Shiri Appleby pops up.
The film manages to have real substance and also be quite fun and very funny at times. Hard to manage that.
WAITRESS
I found this movie to be quite the little charmer. I suppose I had some fondness for Keri Russell back in her Felicity days (the show aired with Dawson's Creek iirc), and she's got that same lovability here. And being a fan of Firefly/Serenity, of course I enjoy Nathan Fillion too. There's nothing terribly original about the movie, but it is well done. I'd like it more though if the Jeremy Sisto character had not been one of the worst written, worst acted walking cliches in recent movie history.
BUG
For a play adaptation, it does NOTHING at all to make it work cinematically, but it starts decent enough and you think it might go somewhere interesting. It doesn't. Once the "bugs" show up, this thing dissolves into a melodramatic, truly embarrassing display of overacting. I mean, Ashley Judd's performance is shamefully poor. And the film simply fails to be disturbing or scary.
I found this movie to be quite the little charmer. I suppose I had some fondness for Keri Russell back in her Felicity days (the show aired with Dawson's Creek iirc), and she's got that same lovability here. And being a fan of Firefly/Serenity, of course I enjoy Nathan Fillion too. There's nothing terribly original about the movie, but it is well done. I'd like it more though if the Jeremy Sisto character had not been one of the worst written, worst acted walking cliches in recent movie history.
BUG
For a play adaptation, it does NOTHING at all to make it work cinematically, but it starts decent enough and you think it might go somewhere interesting. It doesn't. Once the "bugs" show up, this thing dissolves into a melodramatic, truly embarrassing display of overacting. I mean, Ashley Judd's performance is shamefully poor. And the film simply fails to be disturbing or scary.
1/1/08
THE TEN BEST FILMS OF 2007 (which in my opinion was the greatest year for movies in this decade so far)
1. JUNO
2. KNOCKED UP
3. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
4. I AM LEGEND
5. DEATH PROOF
6. THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
7. LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD
8. INTO THE WILD
9. 28 WEEKS LATER
10. SOUTHLAND TALES
THE TEN WORST FILMS OF 2007
1. LICENSE TO WED
2. THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2
3. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
4. BECAUSE I SAID SO
5. GEORGIA RULE
6. I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
7. CAPTIVITY
8. ALPHA DOG
9. 300
10. MR. MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM
1. JUNO
2. KNOCKED UP
3. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
4. I AM LEGEND
5. DEATH PROOF
6. THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
7. LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD
8. INTO THE WILD
9. 28 WEEKS LATER
10. SOUTHLAND TALES
THE TEN WORST FILMS OF 2007
1. LICENSE TO WED
2. THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2
3. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
4. BECAUSE I SAID SO
5. GEORGIA RULE
6. I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
7. CAPTIVITY
8. ALPHA DOG
9. 300
10. MR. MAGORIUM'S WONDER EMPORIUM
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