Message Board Classics: The Britney Chronicles
Ironically taken from a thread originally dedicated to Mandy Moore.
I swear to god I'm gonna throw a parade through downtown Minneapolis when she wisens up and dumps this trash. It's gonna be just me and a boombox, booming out Baby One More Time.
This is not Britney. I refuse to believe her entire personality did a 180 unless its due to this guy's influence.
This is not Britney. I refuse to believe her entire personality did a 180 unless its due to this guy's influence.
4/27/05
Britney & Kevin", the UPN show chronicling the fairytale romance of Britney and Kevin (hence the imaginative title) will be premiering with a one hour episode on May 17th. Promos have been airing for a couple weeks (I always see them during Veronica Mars), and frankly, I think I will spend every episode just aghast at how this has happened.
Kevin's ex Shar Jackson had an interview on TRL the day that Katie Holmes was on, and in it she confirmed what I knew to be true, that Kevin did indeed cheat on her with Britney. Yep, a scummy white trash piece of shit who cheats on his pregnant girlfriend. Quite a catch, Brit.
Kevin's ex Shar Jackson had an interview on TRL the day that Katie Holmes was on, and in it she confirmed what I knew to be true, that Kevin did indeed cheat on her with Britney. Yep, a scummy white trash piece of shit who cheats on his pregnant girlfriend. Quite a catch, Brit.
5/16/05
Well, for better or worse, Britney & Kevin: Chaotic premieres tomorrow (Tuesday) night. The twosome will also be on the Ellen Degeneres show tomorrow.
Britney promises that the show will make all her fans "fall in love" with Kevin just as she did.
Maybe viewers will do as Kevin does and just change the channel.
Britney promises that the show will make all her fans "fall in love" with Kevin just as she did.
Maybe viewers will do as Kevin does and just change the channel.
5/17/05
Well, after one episode of Britney's new show, I can safely make one declaration:
Kevin Federline is more devoid of personality than any human being on the planet.
I found myself enjoying this first episode a lot more than I expected to...at first. Early on it was just Britney and her tour team, behind the scenes stuff from last year's Onyx tour. It was the old Britney, the one I was bonkers for for years. She was just a big silly goob. Also, in contrast to the stalkerazzi shots where Brit always looks bad (since those are the only ones you'd ever see), there were a bunch of points where she had no makeup on and looked really good.
But then we see Kevin introduced. He was on her mind a lot, so she flew him to London. Then the rest of this episode is basically them talking about their sex life.
Honestly, I really do not want to see footage of Britney talking about how well Kevin fucks. Nor do I have any desire to see Brit bragging in her makeup chair about how she's already had sex 3 times that day. That's nice Britney. What do you supoose Kevin's pregnant and abandoned girlfriend was doing while you were fucking?
I did not expect to see that FACT about Kevin brought up on the show. I hurled these comments at the screen MST3K-style anyway.
I'm just aghast at how dull this guy is. He makes Justin look like a charisma machine. He was the same way on Ellen. Ugh! This would be no big deal of course if he weren't also a CHEATING ASSHOLE SCUMBAG!!!!
This show has already depressed the shit out of me, yet I can't not watch.
I did like the credit song, I guessed called "Chaotic." Kind of in that club vibe Brit was into for "In The Zone."
Anyway, I think the show runs for about 6 weeks.
Kevin Federline is more devoid of personality than any human being on the planet.
I found myself enjoying this first episode a lot more than I expected to...at first. Early on it was just Britney and her tour team, behind the scenes stuff from last year's Onyx tour. It was the old Britney, the one I was bonkers for for years. She was just a big silly goob. Also, in contrast to the stalkerazzi shots where Brit always looks bad (since those are the only ones you'd ever see), there were a bunch of points where she had no makeup on and looked really good.
But then we see Kevin introduced. He was on her mind a lot, so she flew him to London. Then the rest of this episode is basically them talking about their sex life.
Honestly, I really do not want to see footage of Britney talking about how well Kevin fucks. Nor do I have any desire to see Brit bragging in her makeup chair about how she's already had sex 3 times that day. That's nice Britney. What do you supoose Kevin's pregnant and abandoned girlfriend was doing while you were fucking?
I did not expect to see that FACT about Kevin brought up on the show. I hurled these comments at the screen MST3K-style anyway.
I'm just aghast at how dull this guy is. He makes Justin look like a charisma machine. He was the same way on Ellen. Ugh! This would be no big deal of course if he weren't also a CHEATING ASSHOLE SCUMBAG!!!!
This show has already depressed the shit out of me, yet I can't not watch.
I did like the credit song, I guessed called "Chaotic." Kind of in that club vibe Brit was into for "In The Zone."
Anyway, I think the show runs for about 6 weeks.
5/25/05
Episode two of Britney and Kevin: Chaotic mercifully had less talk of their sex lives. Of course we were subjected to a closeup of a sloppy kiss or two.
Brit's bodyguard Big Mo hated Kevin at first, but then came to like him. Mo says he didn't care about his past. That past of course (a present at that time) was him cheating on his pregnant girlfriend. This is all very Revenge Of The Sith. Mo coulda helped save her from the darkside.
The one Brit bit I fully enjoyed was where she's traveling on a small plane, and is sitting there all nervous about flying in it. She was SO cute here, and everyone was laughing at her. Kevin was sitting there looking like a stoner. This guy's range of facial expression makes me look like Jim Carrey.
Brit's bodyguard Big Mo hated Kevin at first, but then came to like him. Mo says he didn't care about his past. That past of course (a present at that time) was him cheating on his pregnant girlfriend. This is all very Revenge Of The Sith. Mo coulda helped save her from the darkside.
The one Brit bit I fully enjoyed was where she's traveling on a small plane, and is sitting there all nervous about flying in it. She was SO cute here, and everyone was laughing at her. Kevin was sitting there looking like a stoner. This guy's range of facial expression makes me look like Jim Carrey.
6/8/05
THANK GOD!
Britney and Kevin: Chaotic ends next week!
Tonight's ep led up to the in-flight marriage proposal by my onetime lady. Here's a total shocker: Britney was DRUNK when she popped the question. More proof that prohibition needs to be instituted nationwide.
Next week's finale has the wedding, and hopefully at least one part of Brit's mom screaming at her daughter for the way the wedding was handled.
Evil prospers, and good is hopeless. I think that's the moral of this show. I am becoming inspired to become a complete disgusting misogynist devoid of personality or wit.
Britney and Kevin: Chaotic ends next week!
Tonight's ep led up to the in-flight marriage proposal by my onetime lady. Here's a total shocker: Britney was DRUNK when she popped the question. More proof that prohibition needs to be instituted nationwide.
Next week's finale has the wedding, and hopefully at least one part of Brit's mom screaming at her daughter for the way the wedding was handled.
Evil prospers, and good is hopeless. I think that's the moral of this show. I am becoming inspired to become a complete disgusting misogynist devoid of personality or wit.
6/14/05
Tonight was mercifully the finale of Britney and Kevin: Chaotic, the only show in history I refused to not watch and yet was dying to see it end. The finale showed the wedding, which was the saddest since Padme and Anakin. I laughed at how angry Britney's dad was at the way it was handled. You could see Britney's mom was annoyed too.
Ah screw it! That part sucked. What WAS good was the BRAND NEW Britney song and video "Someday!" Britney said she wrote it before finding out she was preggers, but the song is basically about her baby. LOVE the song! LOVE the video! Definitely one of the best Britney ballads ever, and the video is really pretty, with Britney is full on belly mode. It's nice to know that even as Britney the person goes downhill, Britney the singer has not lost her touch.
Kevin cried on the show. Oh, see, he does have feelings.![]()
I'm glad this show is over. Depressed the hell out of me.
Ah screw it! That part sucked. What WAS good was the BRAND NEW Britney song and video "Someday!" Britney said she wrote it before finding out she was preggers, but the song is basically about her baby. LOVE the song! LOVE the video! Definitely one of the best Britney ballads ever, and the video is really pretty, with Britney is full on belly mode. It's nice to know that even as Britney the person goes downhill, Britney the singer has not lost her touch.
Kevin cried on the show. Oh, see, he does have feelings.
I'm glad this show is over. Depressed the hell out of me.
7/28/05
There are a few pictures and a short interview with Britney and her satanic hubby in the new issue of Interview. Brit's dressed as a maid in the one really good one. Thankfully the pages are large enough that I can throw darts at Kevin and not have to worry about hitting Brit by accident.
Britney & Kevin: Chaotic is gonna come out on DVD August 23rd. I'm not even sure I wanna see the show ever again, yet I am gonna buy this, because it will include the videos for "Do Somethin" and "Someday"(the BEST song!), as well as a CD with the latter song, and the "Chaotic" title song, which was pretty good.
Britney & Kevin: Chaotic is gonna come out on DVD August 23rd. I'm not even sure I wanna see the show ever again, yet I am gonna buy this, because it will include the videos for "Do Somethin" and "Someday"(the BEST song!), as well as a CD with the latter song, and the "Chaotic" title song, which was pretty good.
7/27/05
Britney was just on the cover of People, with a bunch of photos from her baby shower. The spawn of cheater boy is due next month. Kevin is due to cheat on Britney then a few days later.![]()
Christina now doesn't disrespect Britney
I'm somewhat inclined to believe that THIS installment of Xtina ripping Britney was phony, but given the woman's history of insulting Brit every chance she got, nobody should give her the benefit of the doubt.
Funny this is, she'd have been RIGHT this time. Britney's career probably never will get back anywhere close to where it was.
Christina now doesn't disrespect Britney
I'm somewhat inclined to believe that THIS installment of Xtina ripping Britney was phony, but given the woman's history of insulting Brit every chance she got, nobody should give her the benefit of the doubt.
Funny this is, she'd have been RIGHT this time. Britney's career probably never will get back anywhere close to where it was.
9/14/05
Britney gave birth to a baby boy on Wednesday!
He'll reportedly be named Preston Michael. Well, at least it wasn't some goofy name like Coco, or Detroit!
I wish them the best. I'm still sharpening the knives for the day Kevin does Britney wrong.
He'll reportedly be named Preston Michael. Well, at least it wasn't some goofy name like Coco, or Detroit!
I wish them the best. I'm still sharpening the knives for the day Kevin does Britney wrong.
10/2/05
The DVD of Britney & Kevin: Chaotic came out this week. I'd have never purchased it just for the show, which I mostly reviled, but it had some extra stuff well worth the 12 bucks.
The DVD extras are good. There's the videos for "Someday" (one of her very best videos) and "Do Somethin" (which was silly, but in that good way), plus a short making-of for the former.
And there's some other footage not used on the show. A lot of it has Kevin, so that stuff sucked. But one long clip had Britney sitting there, snacking and burping and being just beyond adorable. I fell for Britney all over again with that one.![]()
The deleted footage is uncensored too, so you get to hear Britney curse like a sailor. I'm not sure I've ever heard her say some of those words before.
And there's a bonus CD with the DVD too. It has "Chaotic"(not my favorite song, but it's better than anything Missy Elliott does), "Someday"(amazing, simply amazing) and "Mona Lisa"(I hadn't heard this before, and it's kind of harder edged a bit. LOVED it!)
Oh yeah! There's a deleted bit with Kevin actually talking about Shar Jackson. You can barely understand him since he's a crushing bore and mumbled, but I did hear him LIE and say they were broken up. A lie, a cheat, and a bore. Great catch, Britney.
The DVD extras are good. There's the videos for "Someday" (one of her very best videos) and "Do Somethin" (which was silly, but in that good way), plus a short making-of for the former.
And there's some other footage not used on the show. A lot of it has Kevin, so that stuff sucked. But one long clip had Britney sitting there, snacking and burping and being just beyond adorable. I fell for Britney all over again with that one.
The deleted footage is uncensored too, so you get to hear Britney curse like a sailor. I'm not sure I've ever heard her say some of those words before.And there's a bonus CD with the DVD too. It has "Chaotic"(not my favorite song, but it's better than anything Missy Elliott does), "Someday"(amazing, simply amazing) and "Mona Lisa"(I hadn't heard this before, and it's kind of harder edged a bit. LOVED it!)
Oh yeah! There's a deleted bit with Kevin actually talking about Shar Jackson. You can barely understand him since he's a crushing bore and mumbled, but I did hear him LIE and say they were broken up. A lie, a cheat, and a bore. Great catch, Britney.
10/9/05
Britney has a remix album coming out November 8th I guess. I've never been a big fan of remixes. Britney released inferior versions of both "Boys" and "Overprotected" as singles. I kinda doubt any singles will come from this. Probably just something to keep her name out there musically. I of course eagerly await "The Original Doll"(or whatever she calls the next album), so she can come back and once again prove her superiority to everyone else in her genre.
2/8/06
Britney is going to be on an upcoming episode of Will & Grace. She will be great on it, and everyone will say she stunk.
She's getting ripped for driving away from the STALKERazzi with Sean in her lap and not her car seat. Yes, she shoulda put him back before driving away, but she's correct for being anxious with those scum near her kid. The stalkerazzi killed Princess Diana and tried to kill Lindsay Lohan. They swarm her like that and she's gotta get away. I'll side with basically ANY celeb before I'd trust the word of a stalkerazzi member.
3/1/06
Britney appeared on Good Morning America today as part of their special show from New Orleans.
They showed taped segments of Britney making a surprise appearance for a group of young dancers, and giving them gifts. And then they also showed her surprising some older girls, and taking them to lunch and shopping. It wasn't too substantial, but it warms the heart to see Brit being all sweet and giving. And she looked GREAT!
She did a People magazine interview recently and talked about how she's dying to get back to recording and touring! She wants to reclaim her throne. She also wants to get away from Kevin as much as possible. That last part is just my theory.
They showed taped segments of Britney making a surprise appearance for a group of young dancers, and giving them gifts. And then they also showed her surprising some older girls, and taking them to lunch and shopping. It wasn't too substantial, but it warms the heart to see Brit being all sweet and giving. And she looked GREAT!
She did a People magazine interview recently and talked about how she's dying to get back to recording and touring! She wants to reclaim her throne. She also wants to get away from Kevin as much as possible. That last part is just my theory.
6/30/06
After seeing her Dateline interview a few weeks back I could say she's even MORE beautiful pregnant. I just wish she were pregnant by ME and not that lame duck husband of hers.
Marrying Kevin was indeed idiotic, but there's no doubt in my mind that she will divorce him eventually. The only part of her Dateline interview that wasn't convincing was where she tried to make it sound like her marriage was good. I recall Jessica and Nick saying the same things and look where they ended up.
7/1/06
Britney's famous so she deserves the stalkerazzi onslaught she gets? They ATTACK her while she's with her son, then snap an incriminating photo and SHE ends up looking like the bad guy! It's that shit she was crying about.
Calling her trailer trash is beyond tired at this point.
Calling her trailer trash is beyond tired at this point.
7/29/06
Britney's popping out demon spawn #2 in a couple months. Her Bazaar interview made me optimistic about her returning to music soon. She said after having this baby she's gonna really go nuts working out and getting back in performing shape.![]()
(crosses fingers that she'll have a new album by this time a year from now)
(crosses fingers that she'll have a new album by this time a year from now)11/8/06 (when she divorced Kevin)
Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out! LOL
This was 2+ years too late of course (and for the record PROVES the new baby was unplanned), but at least it's been done.
YAY FOR B!!!
This was 2+ years too late of course (and for the record PROVES the new baby was unplanned), but at least it's been done.
YAY FOR B!!!
5/10/07
Britney's on her way back. She showed off her fit bod for some secret mini-concerts last week. The media reported on this only so they could attack her performances. Blah blah blah. She's gonna have one of the all time comebacks soon.
I wish Britney would cut it with the wigs now. It's been almost 3 months now. I bet her real hair's lookin pretty good right now.
I wish Britney would cut it with the wigs now. It's been almost 3 months now. I bet her real hair's lookin pretty good right now.
9/9/07 (VMA recap, the one with the infamous Gimme More performance)
So...THAT was supposed to be the gloriously revamped Video Music Awards? That not only revives the fading awards show, but also spearheads the revival of the entire MTV network?
That was a terrible, terrible show. Even the predictable highlights paled in comparison to those from years gone by.
Yes, Britney is back! OMFG she looked drop dead sexy and we saw her natural hair for the first time in ages (I think). It's just great to see her back.
But...(see, even B gets a "but" this time)...it was easily the least memorable of her VMA performances. She lipped "Gimme More", and did some semi-provocative dancing. It's not hard to tell she's out of practice. It's too bad she still wants to lip synch, but oh well. Thing is, "Gimme More" is not gonna go on the list of greatest Britney songs. Oh, it's eons better than that shit Timberlake has been vomiting out the last few years, but it's not the instant classic she usually comes out with.
And even Alicia Keys (whose new album drops the same day as Britney...talk about all time release dates!) wasn't that good. She sounded great...but she was barely at a piano during her performance. I mean, A-Keys can sing like few others, but when I see her I don't wanna see her just standing there with a mic.
These VMAs were pathetic overall. I don't really care about them giving out fewer awards. Half of them on the show were just the latest excuse for MTV to suck Timberlake's dick. Popular music has degenerated so much in the last few years that few nominated songs are any good at all. Nobody seems to want good songs, they only want stupid shit that might make for a catchy ringtone. That's the only way I can explain 90% of the rap hits of the last 3 or 4 years.
Kanye West did some songs, and he's one of the genre's only real active talents...but his performances were barely shown. Apparently MTV decided the best way to appeal to viewers was to show scraps of songs, so that people would have to go onto some fucking website to catch the full thing. Right, cause MTV.com is such a good site, right? The fucking thing never works and is impossible to navigate.
Rihanna performed and won some. I remained mixed on that girl. She's obviously hot as just about anyone, and she's putting out great pop songs so consistently that no one can deny she's got skills ("Breakin Dishes" is my fave), but she still comes off as a real snob.
Chris Brown lip-synched and did a Michael Jackson crotch grab. Nelly Furtado lip-synched. Maroon 5 appeared for about 5 seconds. Sarah Silverman nailed some jokes (yes, I even laughed at the Britney ones), but nobody in the crowd laughed at anything. Those tramps from The Hills were regrettably not assassinated.
Ugh. Stick a fork in the VMAs. They, like the music industry in general, are finished.
![]()
That was a terrible, terrible show. Even the predictable highlights paled in comparison to those from years gone by.
Yes, Britney is back! OMFG she looked drop dead sexy and we saw her natural hair for the first time in ages (I think). It's just great to see her back.
But...(see, even B gets a "but" this time)...it was easily the least memorable of her VMA performances. She lipped "Gimme More", and did some semi-provocative dancing. It's not hard to tell she's out of practice. It's too bad she still wants to lip synch, but oh well. Thing is, "Gimme More" is not gonna go on the list of greatest Britney songs. Oh, it's eons better than that shit Timberlake has been vomiting out the last few years, but it's not the instant classic she usually comes out with.
And even Alicia Keys (whose new album drops the same day as Britney...talk about all time release dates!) wasn't that good. She sounded great...but she was barely at a piano during her performance. I mean, A-Keys can sing like few others, but when I see her I don't wanna see her just standing there with a mic.
These VMAs were pathetic overall. I don't really care about them giving out fewer awards. Half of them on the show were just the latest excuse for MTV to suck Timberlake's dick. Popular music has degenerated so much in the last few years that few nominated songs are any good at all. Nobody seems to want good songs, they only want stupid shit that might make for a catchy ringtone. That's the only way I can explain 90% of the rap hits of the last 3 or 4 years.
Kanye West did some songs, and he's one of the genre's only real active talents...but his performances were barely shown. Apparently MTV decided the best way to appeal to viewers was to show scraps of songs, so that people would have to go onto some fucking website to catch the full thing. Right, cause MTV.com is such a good site, right? The fucking thing never works and is impossible to navigate.
Rihanna performed and won some. I remained mixed on that girl. She's obviously hot as just about anyone, and she's putting out great pop songs so consistently that no one can deny she's got skills ("Breakin Dishes" is my fave), but she still comes off as a real snob.
Chris Brown lip-synched and did a Michael Jackson crotch grab. Nelly Furtado lip-synched. Maroon 5 appeared for about 5 seconds. Sarah Silverman nailed some jokes (yes, I even laughed at the Britney ones), but nobody in the crowd laughed at anything. Those tramps from The Hills were regrettably not assassinated.
Ugh. Stick a fork in the VMAs. They, like the music industry in general, are finished.
9/11/07
Time for a good old fashioned rant, fueled by seeing a lot of TV stuff about Britney today, and reading a lot more.
Britney will never be able to make a comeback. This is not because she lacks the talent, or the looks, or the desire. It is because, at every turn, the media is going to ridicule and attack her. And in this tabloid age, most people are way too fucking stupid to think for themselves, so everything E! or TMZ or Access Hollywood or US Weekly says will be taken as divine scripture. Her VMA performance was never going to be praised, even if it had been up to her usual standards. These people were going to bash her and bash her relentlessly.
I agree with Kanye West that MTV exploited her. Her performance was supposed to be bigger, and different, with two songs. She was gonna be doing a ballad to go with "Gimme More." I couldn't wait for that. Then Criss Angel backs out, and they have to hurry together another production, one that likely had little rehearsal time. Obviously Britney lost the steps, but you think that would happen if she'd had a normal amount of time to prepare? Girl's been dancing for years and years. But MTV got what they wanted, as Britney gave them a big comeback in the ratings. Next year she won't be there and the ratings will go in the toilet no matter how much MTV thinks Timberlake is the bigger star.
I don't even care much about the performance criticism, cause it's so predictable. But I have a real problem with the attacks on Brit's body. I can't even count how many times she was called fat or jiggly. What fucking planet are these assholes on? Brit's not as skinny or as toned as she used to be. SHE'S HAD TWO CHILDREN! How about we line up all the women around her age who have had even ONE kid? How many of them are going to look even close to as hot as Britney? It's befuddling to me. It's also the peak of hypocrisy. You get Nicole Richie or Kate Bosworth or Kiera Knightley getting attacked for being too skinny, but then you have Britney looking like she did last night and being called fat??? Oh no, her body looks like a normal healthy body...what a scandal!!! Let's take potshots at her. If any of these people have daughters, then I feel sorry for them, cause those girls are gonna grow up thinking they're inferior no matter how they look.
Britney looked hot last night, and if anyone believes she looked the least bit fat, then they are completely fucking worthless and are probably loser virgins who could never even nab a REAL fat woman. Maybe those attacks will actually help earn her sympathy from the females out there.
But anyway, even though her new song has actually been well received, ultimately the tabloid-ization of the entertainment media will prevent her from making a comeback of either the personal or professional kind. I remain hopeful that she fixes the problems in her life. I hope she gets full custody of her kids (oh yeah, I really buy Kevin's good guy act). I hope this new album is her retirement album, and that she maybe even moves out of the country, somewhere she won't get harassed by the stalkerazzi and berated by the tabloids and loser talking heads.
Because no comeback is worth it in this climate.
Britney will never be able to make a comeback. This is not because she lacks the talent, or the looks, or the desire. It is because, at every turn, the media is going to ridicule and attack her. And in this tabloid age, most people are way too fucking stupid to think for themselves, so everything E! or TMZ or Access Hollywood or US Weekly says will be taken as divine scripture. Her VMA performance was never going to be praised, even if it had been up to her usual standards. These people were going to bash her and bash her relentlessly.
I agree with Kanye West that MTV exploited her. Her performance was supposed to be bigger, and different, with two songs. She was gonna be doing a ballad to go with "Gimme More." I couldn't wait for that. Then Criss Angel backs out, and they have to hurry together another production, one that likely had little rehearsal time. Obviously Britney lost the steps, but you think that would happen if she'd had a normal amount of time to prepare? Girl's been dancing for years and years. But MTV got what they wanted, as Britney gave them a big comeback in the ratings. Next year she won't be there and the ratings will go in the toilet no matter how much MTV thinks Timberlake is the bigger star.
I don't even care much about the performance criticism, cause it's so predictable. But I have a real problem with the attacks on Brit's body. I can't even count how many times she was called fat or jiggly. What fucking planet are these assholes on? Brit's not as skinny or as toned as she used to be. SHE'S HAD TWO CHILDREN! How about we line up all the women around her age who have had even ONE kid? How many of them are going to look even close to as hot as Britney? It's befuddling to me. It's also the peak of hypocrisy. You get Nicole Richie or Kate Bosworth or Kiera Knightley getting attacked for being too skinny, but then you have Britney looking like she did last night and being called fat??? Oh no, her body looks like a normal healthy body...what a scandal!!! Let's take potshots at her. If any of these people have daughters, then I feel sorry for them, cause those girls are gonna grow up thinking they're inferior no matter how they look.
Britney looked hot last night, and if anyone believes she looked the least bit fat, then they are completely fucking worthless and are probably loser virgins who could never even nab a REAL fat woman. Maybe those attacks will actually help earn her sympathy from the females out there.
But anyway, even though her new song has actually been well received, ultimately the tabloid-ization of the entertainment media will prevent her from making a comeback of either the personal or professional kind. I remain hopeful that she fixes the problems in her life. I hope she gets full custody of her kids (oh yeah, I really buy Kevin's good guy act). I hope this new album is her retirement album, and that she maybe even moves out of the country, somewhere she won't get harassed by the stalkerazzi and berated by the tabloids and loser talking heads.
Because no comeback is worth it in this climate.
9/12/07
Watching the VMAs, the thought never entered my mind that someone would insult Britney's body. When I first saw her I thought she was the hottest I've ever seen her. Now, she's been hotter, but since I hadn't seen her bother to be hot in so long it had that impact.
The talking point the degenerates are using to justify their attacks on her body is that she's based her whole career on her body (lie), so she deserves to be judged on that basis.
O...k, that's ridiculous, but even if it wasn't foolish....SHE'S NOT FAT! Anyone who claims she is is a complete fucking idiot!
The talking point the degenerates are using to justify their attacks on her body is that she's based her whole career on her body (lie), so she deserves to be judged on that basis.
O...k, that's ridiculous, but even if it wasn't foolish....SHE'S NOT FAT! Anyone who claims she is is a complete fucking idiot!
10/8/07
I like Britney's video for "Gimme More." I like it more than the song, which is solid but not my favorite thing she's ever done by a long shot. It's not a big budget, flashy thing, which is a nice change of pace. Coulda done without the stripper motif but she looked hot. The song is a big big hit though, and there's no downside to that. And it's only a month til her new album, which I guess is called "Blackout."
10/26/07 Blackout review
Yes, B's new album is coming out next Tuesday, with little hype or promotion. It won't lead to the blockbuster sales, but people called the triple platinum "In The Zone" a flop, so B would never get a fair shake anyway.
She's recorded the album in bits over many months, and with everything that's been going on with her it was hard to tell what kind of album "Blackout" would be.
Basically, after a mere one listen through, I'd say it's her beating the great Justin Timberlake at his own game. It's a relentless dance album, featuring a very Timbaland-esque series of beats, only with personality and flair. It's certainly enough of a success to satisfy me until her next album. THAT is the album I expect to be a masterpiece, where she really lets loose on her personal life.
"Blackout"'s best song is the one most directly tied to Britney herself: "Piece Of Me." It's all about how everyone wants, well, a piece of her. It has a sick beat, it's got her turning the tables on the stalkerazzi ("you SURE you want a piece of me?"). I love the side vocals. I love how she says "derriere"![]()
This one goes right into the list of greatest Britney songs.
"Radar" is cool, and more flirty. It kept sounding like she was singing "operator" instead of "on my radar"
There are 2 songs with "Ice" in the title, "Break The Ice" and "Hot As Ice." I like the former, but the latter would have to be the better one. It has the funner beat and the catchier hook.
"Heaven On Earth" is clearly dedicated to me.![]()
Perfectly light vocals, probably the only real sweet song on the album. It's a lot of attitude and swagger, but here we get some of the old sweet B.![]()
"Get Naked (I Got A Plan)" has some kinda annoying background vocals. Cool song though, sexy. "If I get on top you're gonna lose your mind" That's probably true!!!![]()
"Freakshow" is probably my least favorite song on the album. Decent beat, but forgettable.
"Toy Soldier" is like a march which is fun. Kind of a "Hollaback Girl"-type song. They have fun with robo voice.
"Ooh Ooh Baby" has a fun beat too. She sings "baby" a WHOLE LOT in this one.![]()
It's got some playfulness to it.
"Perfect Lover" is also dedicated to me. It's a little slower. I do like how the album slows it up at the end.
"Why Should I Be Sad?" is the closest thing we get to a true slow song, although it's got a busy Neptunes beat that's probably club-friendly. This is the only other somewhat personal song on the album, as it alludes to her marriage and things.
This is not a "Britney" or an "Oops I Did It Again" album. It's almost like a sequel to "In The Zone" which was heavily dance song skewed. Me, I like my slow songs and my ballads, and Britney has always done great ones. So this album cannot be fully satisfying to me without a little of that. But as a statement that her skills are FAR from diminished, there's no denying that she succeeds. This is not my favorite album of the year. That title is still clutched by "My December", but considering the types of songs she does here are all we have on the radio these days, I would not be at all surprised if "Gimme More" is followed by a few more hits.
Sorry haters...Britney's not going anywhere![]()
"Blackout": 4 stars out of 5
She's recorded the album in bits over many months, and with everything that's been going on with her it was hard to tell what kind of album "Blackout" would be.
Basically, after a mere one listen through, I'd say it's her beating the great Justin Timberlake at his own game. It's a relentless dance album, featuring a very Timbaland-esque series of beats, only with personality and flair. It's certainly enough of a success to satisfy me until her next album. THAT is the album I expect to be a masterpiece, where she really lets loose on her personal life.
"Blackout"'s best song is the one most directly tied to Britney herself: "Piece Of Me." It's all about how everyone wants, well, a piece of her. It has a sick beat, it's got her turning the tables on the stalkerazzi ("you SURE you want a piece of me?"). I love the side vocals. I love how she says "derriere"
This one goes right into the list of greatest Britney songs."Radar" is cool, and more flirty. It kept sounding like she was singing "operator" instead of "on my radar"
There are 2 songs with "Ice" in the title, "Break The Ice" and "Hot As Ice." I like the former, but the latter would have to be the better one. It has the funner beat and the catchier hook.
"Heaven On Earth" is clearly dedicated to me.
Perfectly light vocals, probably the only real sweet song on the album. It's a lot of attitude and swagger, but here we get some of the old sweet B."Get Naked (I Got A Plan)" has some kinda annoying background vocals. Cool song though, sexy. "If I get on top you're gonna lose your mind" That's probably true!!!
"Freakshow" is probably my least favorite song on the album. Decent beat, but forgettable.
"Toy Soldier" is like a march which is fun. Kind of a "Hollaback Girl"-type song. They have fun with robo voice.
"Ooh Ooh Baby" has a fun beat too. She sings "baby" a WHOLE LOT in this one.
It's got some playfulness to it."Perfect Lover" is also dedicated to me. It's a little slower. I do like how the album slows it up at the end.
"Why Should I Be Sad?" is the closest thing we get to a true slow song, although it's got a busy Neptunes beat that's probably club-friendly. This is the only other somewhat personal song on the album, as it alludes to her marriage and things.
This is not a "Britney" or an "Oops I Did It Again" album. It's almost like a sequel to "In The Zone" which was heavily dance song skewed. Me, I like my slow songs and my ballads, and Britney has always done great ones. So this album cannot be fully satisfying to me without a little of that. But as a statement that her skills are FAR from diminished, there's no denying that she succeeds. This is not my favorite album of the year. That title is still clutched by "My December", but considering the types of songs she does here are all we have on the radio these days, I would not be at all surprised if "Gimme More" is followed by a few more hits.
Sorry haters...Britney's not going anywhere
"Blackout": 4 stars out of 5
12/19/07
On another topic, I am in love with Britney's "Piece Of Me" video. Her personal life is still a mess, but this video gives her her swagger back.![]()
If anything it should've been MORE vicious. It's like a gentle poke at the stalkerazzi.
Rolling Stone was nice enough to include "Blackout" among the top 50 albums of 2007. And the most recent issue of Blender gave the album a pretty dang solid review, and a very rare good review that wasn't backhanded. Most of the time it's a positive review upon first glance, but if you read it it's just a bunch of potshots.
If anything it should've been MORE vicious. It's like a gentle poke at the stalkerazzi.Rolling Stone was nice enough to include "Blackout" among the top 50 albums of 2007. And the most recent issue of Blender gave the album a pretty dang solid review, and a very rare good review that wasn't backhanded. Most of the time it's a positive review upon first glance, but if you read it it's just a bunch of potshots.
3/28/08
Britney has gotten some very kind reviews for her guest appearance this week on How I Met Your Mother.
I thought she was absolutely adorable, and very funny.![]()
That part where she lovingly stares at the main guy just killed me. Even I'm kinda surprised she's still got that level of cuteness going on. But anyone who saw her on SNL knows she has comedic talent. I'd actually like to see her do SNL again.
The nice reviews for her work are part of what seems to be a welcome...and LONG overdue... shift in the way the media treats her. Long before the tabloids and
stalkerazzi took over, it was the mainstream entertainment media who were attacking and berating her daily. Now things have gotten so bad for her that maybe it's touched on their consciences, that maybe it's time to lay off the poor girl.
Last week's South Park was shockingly pro-Britney. I mean, Trey and Matt attack everybody with that show. They did a show attacking Bono for no other reason than that he's successful at things, so for them to more or less devote a whole episode to defending Britney and bashing the media that has been trying to kill her (which is SO not an exaggeration) is quite a statement.
I thought she was absolutely adorable, and very funny.
That part where she lovingly stares at the main guy just killed me. Even I'm kinda surprised she's still got that level of cuteness going on. But anyone who saw her on SNL knows she has comedic talent. I'd actually like to see her do SNL again.The nice reviews for her work are part of what seems to be a welcome...and LONG overdue... shift in the way the media treats her. Long before the tabloids and
stalkerazzi took over, it was the mainstream entertainment media who were attacking and berating her daily. Now things have gotten so bad for her that maybe it's touched on their consciences, that maybe it's time to lay off the poor girl.
Last week's South Park was shockingly pro-Britney. I mean, Trey and Matt attack everybody with that show. They did a show attacking Bono for no other reason than that he's successful at things, so for them to more or less devote a whole episode to defending Britney and bashing the media that has been trying to kill her (which is SO not an exaggeration) is quite a statement.
9/7/08
Well what do ya know? MTV finally did right by Britney at tonight's VMAs.
I'll admit I only watched bits of the show, but I did see Britney's cute little opening sketch with Jonah Hill. I got to get all squishy for B again.![]()
And I saw her win THREE awards (female video, pop video & video of the year), all for her masterful "Piece Of Me". In the old days I railed against how MTV insulted her by denying her any awards or even obvious nominations. And then of
course they set her up for failure at last year's show. As a loyal fan, I will never forgive that. But I was still very happy to see her win 3 for 3, and she looked amazing. She's all the way back!
Not much to say about the rest of the show. This year has been so godawful for mainstream popular music and the awards certainly showed that. Plus I frankly
cannot stand that idiot Russell Brand. I don't know if that's really how he is, or if he's just stuck in his role from Forgetting Sarah
Marshall (which he was the worst part of), but he is intolerable.
Saw a bit of Rihanna's performance, in which she again went out of her way to look awful. "Disturbia" is hella catchy though. I'm always doing the "bum bum bee dum" thing.
Caught Christina Aguilera's performance. I have been kinda stunned how she's gone back into full-on skank mode since she had her kid. I mean, I find it amusing too but puzzling. I guess she did a new song, which sucked, but the revamped "Genie" was ok.
Caught Vanessa Hudgens, who is just the cutest ever. Caught a little of Kanye, who performed in the dark(???). Saw a little of Katy Perry, who I either like a
little or totally despise. I haven't decided yet. I guess Pink performed, but I missed it.
I'll admit I only watched bits of the show, but I did see Britney's cute little opening sketch with Jonah Hill. I got to get all squishy for B again.
And I saw her win THREE awards (female video, pop video & video of the year), all for her masterful "Piece Of Me". In the old days I railed against how MTV insulted her by denying her any awards or even obvious nominations. And then of
course they set her up for failure at last year's show. As a loyal fan, I will never forgive that. But I was still very happy to see her win 3 for 3, and she looked amazing. She's all the way back!
Not much to say about the rest of the show. This year has been so godawful for mainstream popular music and the awards certainly showed that. Plus I frankly
cannot stand that idiot Russell Brand. I don't know if that's really how he is, or if he's just stuck in his role from Forgetting Sarah
Marshall (which he was the worst part of), but he is intolerable.
Saw a bit of Rihanna's performance, in which she again went out of her way to look awful. "Disturbia" is hella catchy though. I'm always doing the "bum bum bee dum" thing.
Caught Christina Aguilera's performance. I have been kinda stunned how she's gone back into full-on skank mode since she had her kid. I mean, I find it amusing too but puzzling. I guess she did a new song, which sucked, but the revamped "Genie" was ok.
Caught Vanessa Hudgens, who is just the cutest ever. Caught a little of Kanye, who performed in the dark(???). Saw a little of Katy Perry, who I either like a
little or totally despise. I haven't decided yet. I guess Pink performed, but I missed it.
11/24/08 Circus review
YES! YES! YES!
Britney's comeback is now officially rolling, as she is about to release hands down her best album since the glory days of "Britney."
"Circus" is fabulous, a mix of unbeatable dance tracks, and---hallelujah---also several midtempo songs and even a nearly accapella ballad which proves she's still got a great voice that can carry a song like that.
I won't go song by song cause that gets redundant, but the smash hit "Womanizer" is easily one of the least impressive songs here.
Britney's comeback is now officially rolling, as she is about to release hands down her best album since the glory days of "Britney."
"Circus" is fabulous, a mix of unbeatable dance tracks, and---hallelujah---also several midtempo songs and even a nearly accapella ballad which proves she's still got a great voice that can carry a song like that.
I won't go song by song cause that gets redundant, but the smash hit "Womanizer" is easily one of the least impressive songs here.
My 3 faves after one listen:
1. "Lace and Leather", her sexin it up song, with a beat that is, dare I say, quite funktastic!
2. "Out From Under", a midtempo track about how she'll be ok as long as she can get away from someone. I won't bother trying to figure out
which songs here are about K-Fed. "Womanizer" could be either him or Timberprick.
3. "Unusual You", where she's singing about someone loving her for who she is, and being surprised that said guy isn't screwing her over. /crushes
"My Baby" is the ballad, a irresistibly sweet song about her little boys.
I guess if the album disappoints at all, it's that the songs where B is listed as a co-writer are not among my faves. But it's easy to tell that with this album she was more involved than on "Blackout", which had the masterpiece "Piece Of Me", a few other standouts, but a lot of filler too (Including
"Radar", which is puzzlingly included here too???).
But that album got surprisingly good reviews, and this album is vastly superior to that. It won't sell, cause nothing does these days, but "Circus" has Britney back on top and all is good with the world again:)
1. "Lace and Leather", her sexin it up song, with a beat that is, dare I say, quite funktastic!
2. "Out From Under", a midtempo track about how she'll be ok as long as she can get away from someone. I won't bother trying to figure out
which songs here are about K-Fed. "Womanizer" could be either him or Timberprick.
3. "Unusual You", where she's singing about someone loving her for who she is, and being surprised that said guy isn't screwing her over. /crushes
"My Baby" is the ballad, a irresistibly sweet song about her little boys.
I guess if the album disappoints at all, it's that the songs where B is listed as a co-writer are not among my faves. But it's easy to tell that with this album she was more involved than on "Blackout", which had the masterpiece "Piece Of Me", a few other standouts, but a lot of filler too (Including
"Radar", which is puzzlingly included here too???).
But that album got surprisingly good reviews, and this album is vastly superior to that. It won't sell, cause nothing does these days, but "Circus" has Britney back on top and all is good with the world again:)
3/28/09
I'm less than a week from seeing Britney!!![]()
![]()
![]()
I'm gonna be real close to the stage, close enough to make many declarations of everlasting love (a
concept I no longer believe in, but hey, when in Rome).
I'm gonna be real close to the stage, close enough to make many declarations of everlasting love (aconcept I no longer believe in, but hey, when in Rome).
4/5/09
At long last, after more than 7 years, I finally got to see my lady Britney again on Friday night, as her blockbuster comeback "Circus" tour came to town.
I am not in love with Britney anymore like I basically was for "Dream Within A Dream," but even though this show didn't hit me in that particular sweet spot, I still LOVE LOVE LOVED the show she put on! This show totally kicked my ass and left it in a bloody heap on the sidewalk.
The team of 18,000 Britney fans were treated to a dazzling, gloriously over the top extravaganza. The whole circus motif was actually much better than I thought it would be. You got jugglers, and trapeze jumpers, and karate guys and a midget. It was crazy.
So ok, had to suffer through the Pussycat Dolls as the opening act. Lucky UK folks have Ciara as the opener. I still think PCD are nothing but vapid strippers who sing a little. "When I Grow Up" represents everything wrong with music and culture in general.
Then came B!
"Circus" itself was the opener, as she pranced around the 360-degree stage. Just seeing her again got me juiced. Then came "Piece Of Me", which absolutely KILLED live! That's arguably the best song she's put out in the time since her last concert here.
The show lulled just a bit then as she did "Radar," "Ooh Ooh Baby," and "Hot As Ice" all in a row, and all 3 are kind of filler songs from the last 2 albums.
"Boys" was next. Always lovin that one.
"If U Seek Amy," a song that if it were released by Katy Perry would have critics drooling over it but since it's Britney it's called juvenile smut (who uses the word smut anymore??), was another song that absolutely owned it live!
Maybe the night's top surprise was the brilliant new version of "Me Against The Music," done Bollywood style. It is easily the best version of this song ever done, no question about it. And B was dressed up in Indian wear and looked awesome. I do wish they'd had some big screens up somewhere so we could have seen her better, cause with the stage set-up she was often on the opposite end of the arena from me.
This was followed by the night's lone ballad, but at least it was the sublime "Everytime," which yes, she sang live. The concept of the tour does not really allow for much downtime, so this was it for slow songs. No "Out From Under," no "Sometimes," no "I'm Not A Girl," (which truthfully she'll probably never sing again) and alas no "Unusual You," which is far and away my favorite song off of
"Circus." Surprisingly, for a tour named after her latest album, only 4 songs FROM it made the set list (and that counts "Radar" which also
appeared on "Blackout."
Then came yet another highlight, actually an interlude during one costume change. On the screens above the stage they played essentially a new music video of Britney's, a cover version of the Marilyn Manson version of "Sweet Dreams." This was unbelievable! If Britney ever wanted to go to a really dark
place musically, this might be the result.
This led into the debauchery portion of our program: "Freakshow," "Get Naked," "Breathe On Me," and "Touch Of My Hand," and I think a little of "Toy Soldier" & "Gimme More" were in there too. From my vantage point Britney was obscured for some of the sexier moments, but I don't think she got quite as sexualized as she did on the Onyx tour.
Back to killer dance numbers then with "Break The Ice," "Do Somethin," (a surprise entry that really kicked ass), "I'm A Slave 4
U," "Toxic," (which got people roaring) and of course "Baby One More Time," the only song from her 1st 2 albums to make the cut. I suspect it will make the cut on every tour she ever does.
Prior to the encore they had a amazing mega montage of all of Britney's videos from over the years, punctuated by a clip of the Madonna VMA kiss that made
everyone roar. SO awesome!
"Womanizer" was the encore, and there was a ring of fire and confetti and it was all greatness!
The amazing thing is that Britney is clearly not even back in tip top fighting shape yet. She did tons of heavy dancing (ignore any and all critics that say
she's not dancing hard), but her previous tours maybe had more of it. But she's still able to rock it like she did. I'm actually quite proud of
her. It was so cool to see a sold out arena (even DWAD tour didn't quite sell it out) full of people who did not give up on Britney after all these years of the media and the critics and the stalkerazzi and the tabloids trying to tear her to pieces or worse. It was not that long ago really that I truly believed Britney was going to wind up dead, and that the notion of seeing her on tour ever again was a pipe dream.
Well she came through. She did it. She's pure awesomeness and always will be, and no one can stop her!
Way to go, B!
I am not in love with Britney anymore like I basically was for "Dream Within A Dream," but even though this show didn't hit me in that particular sweet spot, I still LOVE LOVE LOVED the show she put on! This show totally kicked my ass and left it in a bloody heap on the sidewalk.
The team of 18,000 Britney fans were treated to a dazzling, gloriously over the top extravaganza. The whole circus motif was actually much better than I thought it would be. You got jugglers, and trapeze jumpers, and karate guys and a midget. It was crazy.
So ok, had to suffer through the Pussycat Dolls as the opening act. Lucky UK folks have Ciara as the opener. I still think PCD are nothing but vapid strippers who sing a little. "When I Grow Up" represents everything wrong with music and culture in general.
Then came B!
"Circus" itself was the opener, as she pranced around the 360-degree stage. Just seeing her again got me juiced. Then came "Piece Of Me", which absolutely KILLED live! That's arguably the best song she's put out in the time since her last concert here.
The show lulled just a bit then as she did "Radar," "Ooh Ooh Baby," and "Hot As Ice" all in a row, and all 3 are kind of filler songs from the last 2 albums.
"Boys" was next. Always lovin that one.
"If U Seek Amy," a song that if it were released by Katy Perry would have critics drooling over it but since it's Britney it's called juvenile smut (who uses the word smut anymore??), was another song that absolutely owned it live!
Maybe the night's top surprise was the brilliant new version of "Me Against The Music," done Bollywood style. It is easily the best version of this song ever done, no question about it. And B was dressed up in Indian wear and looked awesome. I do wish they'd had some big screens up somewhere so we could have seen her better, cause with the stage set-up she was often on the opposite end of the arena from me.
This was followed by the night's lone ballad, but at least it was the sublime "Everytime," which yes, she sang live. The concept of the tour does not really allow for much downtime, so this was it for slow songs. No "Out From Under," no "Sometimes," no "I'm Not A Girl," (which truthfully she'll probably never sing again) and alas no "Unusual You," which is far and away my favorite song off of
"Circus." Surprisingly, for a tour named after her latest album, only 4 songs FROM it made the set list (and that counts "Radar" which also
appeared on "Blackout."
Then came yet another highlight, actually an interlude during one costume change. On the screens above the stage they played essentially a new music video of Britney's, a cover version of the Marilyn Manson version of "Sweet Dreams." This was unbelievable! If Britney ever wanted to go to a really dark
place musically, this might be the result.
This led into the debauchery portion of our program: "Freakshow," "Get Naked," "Breathe On Me," and "Touch Of My Hand," and I think a little of "Toy Soldier" & "Gimme More" were in there too. From my vantage point Britney was obscured for some of the sexier moments, but I don't think she got quite as sexualized as she did on the Onyx tour.
Back to killer dance numbers then with "Break The Ice," "Do Somethin," (a surprise entry that really kicked ass), "I'm A Slave 4
U," "Toxic," (which got people roaring) and of course "Baby One More Time," the only song from her 1st 2 albums to make the cut. I suspect it will make the cut on every tour she ever does.
Prior to the encore they had a amazing mega montage of all of Britney's videos from over the years, punctuated by a clip of the Madonna VMA kiss that made
everyone roar. SO awesome!
"Womanizer" was the encore, and there was a ring of fire and confetti and it was all greatness!
The amazing thing is that Britney is clearly not even back in tip top fighting shape yet. She did tons of heavy dancing (ignore any and all critics that say
she's not dancing hard), but her previous tours maybe had more of it. But she's still able to rock it like she did. I'm actually quite proud of
her. It was so cool to see a sold out arena (even DWAD tour didn't quite sell it out) full of people who did not give up on Britney after all these years of the media and the critics and the stalkerazzi and the tabloids trying to tear her to pieces or worse. It was not that long ago really that I truly believed Britney was going to wind up dead, and that the notion of seeing her on tour ever again was a pipe dream.
Well she came through. She did it. She's pure awesomeness and always will be, and no one can stop her!
Way to go, B!
Comments
Post a Comment