Message Board Classics: Movies, Movies and More Movies pt. 2

1/3/05

Here are some of the films coming this year:
-Revenge Of The Sith: enough said
-Batman Begins
-The Fantastic Four: Jessica Alba in tights
-White Noise: looks interesting
-Coach Carter: Sam needs to start doing good movies again
-Elektra: sadly, I think this looks awful
-Hide and Seek: Dakota Fanning can kick your ass!
-The Jacket: Kiera
-Constantine: Keanu tries for a post-Matrix franchise
-Cursed: This thing's been in production forever. The first Craven-Williamson collabo since the glory days
-Be Cool: the Get Shorty sequel which actually looks really good
-The Pacifier: Vin, give the playbook back to Arnold
-Melinda and Melinda: Woody Allen
-Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous: No, I am not kidding
-The Ring 2
-The Weather Man: a Nic Cage flick that looks like a winner
-Unleashed: Jet Li movie that looks cool
-XXX: State Of The Union: remember when Ice Cube was an actor?
-The Longest Yard: Adam Sandler
-The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: it's a cult thing
-Mr. & Mrs. Smith: yes, kill Angelina before she keeps making movies
-Bewitched: Nicole Kidman as a witch. Wow, bet it took 2 whole seconds for that one to click
-Charlie & The Chocolate Factory: Depp + Burton is usually good
-Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo: will sweep the Oscars
-The Legend Of Zorro: guys, you're about 5 years late on this one
-King Kong: I'm not convinced
-Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire: is Emma 18 yet?
-Herbie: Fully Loaded: why do I suspect Lindsay's career is going to die because of this one?
-The Dukes Of Hazzard: thank god Britney didn't wind up in this
-Elizabethtown: Cameron Crowe
-Hitch: looks like the perfect movie star role for Will Smith
-The Perfect Man: Hilary Duff
-The Brothers Grimm: Terry Gilliam
-Guess Who: Kutcher and Bernie Mac in a movie that dares to say black people and white people look different
-Stealth: Jamie Foxx
-Sin City: looks like it could be superb
-Kingdom Of Heaven: Ridley Scott epic that looks very good
-War Of The Worlds: so, is it gonna be a head cold that does em in again?
-The Island: uh-oh, Michael Bay is back. Peter Travers is writing his review as we speak!
-Serenity: the movie version of Firefly

QUICKIE REVIEWS
The Phantom Of The Opera:
I liked it. The love interest is a dullard though, and the phantom is not scary, but the music is good, the sets should win an Oscar, and Emmy Rossum rises up to become a major star, I think.
The Life Aquatic:
It's clever, but really every good joke was in the trailer. What's left is an incoherent bore of a movie.
Spanglish:
I enjoyed this. Sandler is starting to find a groove as a more serious actor. Tea Leoni is insufferable, but she's supposed to be. Good casting, I guess. Paz Vega is a helluva yeah baby!

1/17/05

MEET THE FOCKERS
Fairly funny, but a bit stale like Ocean's Twelve. Hoffman and Babs are funny. The kid is cute. DeNiro is funny again after some comic duds.
WHITE NOISE
A somber drama with supernatural elements. No wait, it's a jump-out-of-your-seat horror movie. Er, now its a convoluted murder mystery. This film is as incoherent as anything in recent memory. A waste of a neat premise and a solid job by Michael Keaton.
COACH CARTER
The year's first really good film. Yes it's both a formula sports film AND a formula message movie, but it is VERY GOOD at both. Samuel L. Jackson is FINALLY back in top form, in a tailor-made role. The only nag is Ashanti, who might wanna stick to singing.
ELEKTRA
Well, the trailer severely lowered my hopes, so this is no longer a disappointment. Not unwatchable, but such a botched execution of what shoulda been a no-brainer success. They take Elektra and re-imagine her as a sullen, cold assassin, then have her spend the first half hour of the film sitting around a house doing nothing. The most exciting scene is her arranging her bathroom. It picks up a bit with the decent villains, but then the film's over. Jennifer Garner deserves better than this.

1/31/05

MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Well, if the best picture Oscar goes to the most deserving film, then I'm sorry Marty, better luck next time. I thought Clint Eastwood's Mystic River, while good, was overrated. This film however really is as good as advertised. Eastwood and Morgan Freeman each deserve their acting nods, but this is a Hilary Swank-owned film. She is fantastic, and should win best actress in a cakewalk. Alas, I had the film spolied for me a few days ago, but that did not really hurt my appreciation of the film that much. It's one of the best made films of 2004 and it's right there with The Notebook and Ladder 49 as the year's best tearjerker too.
BEYOND THE SEA
This one's gotten a bum rap. This is a very entertaining film, and one of the more creative biopics I've seen. Kevin Spacey, after half a decade of crap is back in top form. Kate Bosworth needs to stop being so gosh dang cute all the time. I don't think this is as good as Ray, but it's not too far off.
IN GOOD COMPANY
I'm surprised this got an Oscar-timed release. This film does not seem to have award aspirations. It is not exceptional in any way, but it is very pleasant. I enjoyed watching it. Dennis Quaid is in a zone. Topher Grace is quite good. Scarlett Johansson has a disappointingly small role, but she at least looks yummy as hell.

2/1/05

Hide and Seek:

Robert DeNiro has accomplished a great many things in his long career. But this film marks, I believe, the first time he's ever been acted off the screen by a preteen. And that's not even to say he's so bad, but frankly, Dakota Fanning may be the best child actor EVER. Too bad this film does not deserve either of them.
Sadly, you know going in what kind of film this REALLY is. You know this is a horror thriller (worse yet, a psychological one!), and you know from the trailer that the story will go one of 3 ways:
1. Dakota Fanning is killing people
2. her imaginary friend is killing people
3. some unknown third party is killing people
Now, I'll admit, the revelation did surprise me, and without having thought about it too much, it seems to probably pass the plausibility test too.
But when the film has yet to pass into full-on horror movie schlock, THAT is when the film worked for me. The story of a man and his daughter coping with the death of their wife and mother was done very well. Dakota Fanning is tremendous, and DeNiro is at his understated best. I hoped that maybe the film would not be what was advertised. Remember Angel Eyes? That film was marketed like a ghost story, but in actuality it had no supernatural elements at all.
No such luck here. Here a nicely done drama morphs into a mediocre horror movie, with one of the most tedious third acts ever.

2/5/05

Does everyone else agree that this apparent furor over Million Dollar Baby, and what happens in the film, is the most idiotic and phony controversy since "nipplegate"?
Sheesh, the right wins and they're still being whiny little shits. You'd think they'd just be glad Fahrenheit 9/11 got shut out at the Oscars. But nope, we gotta eliminate all traces of liberal thought from the multiplex.
I know if I was in the position represented in the film, I'd want the same mercy shown on me. I'd want the same thing.
HOTEL RWANDA
Once I figured out the story, and everything that was going on (which can be tricky if you don't already know the story well), I found this film interesting and very engrossing. Don Cheadle totally deserves his best actor nomination, and I might put him second on my list behind Foxx. Sophie Okonedo's nod is also deserved, although she shouldn't win. I also thought Jean Reno as very good in his small role.

2/7/05

Super Bowl trailers:

Not a great crop this year, but there were a couple highlights.
Batman Begins: WOW! Open right now! FINALLY a little footage of Katie, as well as Morgan Freeman!
War Of The Worlds: Didn't show much. A true teaser. I suspect the fx are not even close to done on this, and they looked a bit shaky.
The Longest Yard: Eh, typical Sandler.
XXX: State Of The Union: Can't suck worse than the Vin one.
Robots: Eh.
Constantine and Hitch: I've seen trailers for these countless times. Just open already. I'm tired of seeing Kevin James dance and seeing Rachel Weisz sucked through a building.
Be Cool: Stare at Christina Milian for 2 hours (and on my birthday no less)? Yes please!
The Pacifier and Sahara: I could not have less interest in either of these.

2/12/05

Hitch:

This movie is fluff, but it's pretty entertaining fluff. Will Smith is probably the most charismatic actor there is, and he mostly coasts on that here, but it's nice to see him in an actual comedy for once. His love interest is the still very enigmatic Eva Mendes. She's certainly hot, but she's done a lot of films now and I just don't get it. Kevin James is VERY funny, and his romance with the ragingly hot Amber Valletta is the best thing in the movie. I hate romcoms that are built totally around lies, and while this one is too, at least here the lying is not done with bad intent. I'm sure this movie will clean up at the box office.
6/10

2/20/05

Constantine:

I gotta admit, I did not see this one coming. I hoped for a good solid film, but I did not anticipate seeing one of the finest comic book films ever made.
I posted elsewhere about the relatability for me of the Keanu Reeves title character, but now onto the film itself.
The premise has it that god and the devil have a bet going to see who can take more human souls. Half-breed angels and demons roam the planet, trying to exert influence. Constantine fits in as a kind of mediator. He's there to ensure both sides play fair. Of course, if they did, there'd be no movie.
Rachel Weisz is a cop whose twin sister kills herself, only she doesn't believe it's a suicide. Her quest to prove that leads her to Constantine, and her entry into the underworld of demons and shady characters.
The realization of this world is fantastic. Most comic book films have good designs, but none quite this gritty. Comparisons to film noir are accurate, right down to Reeves as a kind of private eye who's always smoking. I loved all the detail in this film. I loved the way Reeves transports between earth and hell.
The thing that really interested me, and it didn't strike me until after the film, was how amusingly un-pc it is about religion. HEED MY SPOILER WARNING!!!!
Constantine is the feel good film of the year for atheists and satanists!
At the end of the film, Satan (embodied hammily be Peter Stormare) is practically a good guy, having saved the life of our hero. (That was awesome how he pulled the tar out of Constantine's lungs) God is never seen, but as far as this film's concerned he's unforgiving, vengeful and lazy. And the closest thing to a true villain at the end is an angel, whose mission it has been to bring about the birh of the son of the devil. Honestly, I can't believe how they got this film out there! This thing is radical!
Things like this don't usually strike me so immediately, but Constantine's storytelling is very clear and smart. That's surprising, since the film is helmed by a music video director doing his first feature, Francis Lawrence (whose credits include Britney's "I'm A Slave 4 U").
Keanu is not the actor you'd expect for this, but while the guy's inconsistent, he's a very good actor at times. I bought him completely in this role. And Rachel Weisz was excellent. And you just cannot go wrong with Djimon Hounsou. Even Shia LaBeouf's comic relief works pretty well.
Constantine is a success in every way. I'm in the minority on this one, I guess, but not many films seem made for me and me alone, and this is one of them.
9/10
(only cuz I hesitate to hand out a 10)

2/26/05

Cursed:

As a wannabe writer, maybe director, I have Kevin Williamson up there as a true idol. Scream wowed me. It fit my sensibilities so completely that it showed me that I could maybe do this. And Kevin's credits during his amazing, if brief, run in the late nineties also include the even better Scream 2, the painfully underrated I Know What You Did Last Summer and The Faculty, and oh yeah, Dawson's Creek, which makes him largely responsible for making Katie Holmes a star. You KNOW I'm eternally grateful for that one.
So there are not gonna be too many fans more disappointed than me to see his talents go away in Cursed. Cursed was bogged down by delays and reshoots, but I'd hoped his writing would not suffer. Sadly, the times appear to have completely passed him by. You won't find a staler horror film again this year.
Wes Craven (also hitting a career low, unless you count the fact that he "presented" Wishmaster) directed this, but any two-bit hack could've done an equal job. There are no scares to be found here.
Christina Ricci (who starred in Pumpkin, so for her this is not a career low) and Jesse Eisenberg are a brother and sister who become infected by a werewolf attack, and so they spend the rest of the film becoming werewolves. Only they never actually become werewolves, they just acquire certain enhanced abilities. The story here never goes anywhere.
The cast has people who should know better. Joshua Jackson, who should be a big star by this point, is saddled with a nothing role as the sensitive boyfriend who may also be a werewolf. Shannon Elizabeth, who a few years ago I thought was headed for big things, has nothing to do but scream here. Somehow I missed it that Mya was in this movie. I don't know how that happened, but she fares ok. Aside from being drop dead gorgeous as usualshe gets one of the film's few decent sequences of wolf action. As for Judy Greer, I think she's played one too many bitchy career-obsessed women now. And yes, Scott Baio is in the film, playing himself.
I could not have cared less about the story. The only storyline I liked was the geeky brother using his new ability to try to kick the shit out of the school's jock and thus win the guy's girl. But then that part is completely forgotten about in favor of an interminable third act set inside a Planet Hollywood-style museum. And it was annoying how little fun was had with the story. Ricci spends the entire film moping around. Man, put her in the wrong role and there are few actresses more unenjoyable to watch.
The scares are poor. Not one effective jolt in the whole film. The werewolf CGI is totally embarrassing. There's really nothing funny in it either, aside from one scene where one character comes out of the closet. The obvious reshooting problems are quite distracting, considering Ricci's character works for the Craig Kilborn show. Hmm, Kilborn's only been off the show six months now.
Cursed is really just a terrible film, but the people involved have proven they can do infinitely better work. But the midas touch is gone for Kevin.
3/10

2/27/05

INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARD WINNERS:
Best Feature: Sideways
Best Director: Alexander Payne-Sideways
Best Male Lead: Paul Giamatti-Sideways
Best Female Lead: Catalina Sandino Moreno-Maria Full Of Grace
Best Supporting Male: Thomas Haden Church-Sideways
Best Supporting Female: Virginia Madsen-Sideways
Best Screenplay: Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor-Sideways
Best First Screenplay: Joshua Marston-Maria Full Of Grace
Best Foreign Film: The Sea Inside
Best First Feature: Zach Braff-Garden State
Best Feature Under $500,000: Mean Creek
These awards can be pretty predictable, since usually one of two nominess are also Oscar nominated and it's always those who win. Yay For Catalina! My god that woman is gorgeous! Yay for Zach, who thanked Natalie in his speech!
RAZZIE "WINNERS":
Worst Picture: Catwoman
Worst Director: Pitof-Catwoman
Worst Actor: George W. Bush-Fahrenheit 9/11
Worst Actress: Halle Berry-Catwoman
Worst Supporting Actor: Donald Rumsfeld-Fahrenheit 9/11
Worst Supporting Actress: *sigh* Britney Spears-Fahrenheit 9/11
Worst Screenplay: Catwoman
Worst Screen Couple: George W. Bush and either Condoleeza Rice or his pet goat-Fahrenheit 9/11
Worst Sequel Or Remake: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed
Halle Berry is so cool. She actually showed up to accept her award. Having a sense of humor about yourself will serve you well(well, ok, it hasn't helped Ben Affleck any). Bush winning is funny. Britney wins for about 3 seconds of screen time. That's gotta be a record.

3/3/05

Man of the House:

Catwoman. Boat Trip. K-Pax. You could make quite a frightening film festival out of awful films made by stars after winning an Oscar. Keep a spot open for Man Of The House, a dismal failure starring Tommy Lee Jones.
Jeez this movie is terrible. And it has no idea what it wants to be, so it's actually about 4 or 5 films mashed into 90 minutes. And the incoherence shows like so much skin from the cheerleaders.
Jones is a Texas Ranger who has to protect five Texas Longhorn cheerleaders, who witnessed a murder. Completely disregard that they couldn't ID the killer anyway, and nobody knew they saw it, so their protection would not be a concern at all. But then there'd be no movie, which there shouldn't have been in the first place.
Man Of The House begins as a gross out comedy (an unfunny one), then turns into a nearly dead serious cop thriller (a dull one), before settling into the whole cheerleader storyline (all the jokes for which were used in the trailer). Then they throw in a romance for Jones before returning for a bloody action finale. UGH!
Everything about this movie stinks. Even the soundtrack is embarrassingly outdated. I'd have been perfectly happy never having to hear "I'm Too Sexy" again. And there needs to be a ban on C&C Music Factory.
Jones cannot be the sole lead in a comedy. Playing off of a Will Smith he can be funny. Here he's just bored and irritated. And for the record, the trailer had funnier takes of some of his comic lines. And not a soul on this earth can explain what purpose Cedric The Entertainer served in this movie. I did think Jones' daughter was fresh and natural, so she was very out of place here.
There are five reasons this movie stays watchable: Christina Milian, Paula Garces, Monica Keena, Kelli Garner and Vanessa Ferlito. They are the cheerleaders, the most ridiculously cute batch ever. All five have given good performances in other movies or shows. None are bad here, but they play it very broad. The top performance had to be from the adorable and completely beguiling Kelli Garner. But they all prove just how far eye candy can take a movie (not that far as it turned out).
3/10

3/5/05

THE JACKET
This was a really effective mindbender, the kind that can go horribly wrong sometimes. Adrien Brody, in his first worthwhile role since his Oscar win, is Jack, a Gulf War vet who is accused of murdering a cop. He has no memory of this, and is found not guilty by insanity. But he gets sent to an institution, and part of his treatment (administered by Kris Kristofferson) is to be put in a straightjacket and shoved into a morgue drawer. Then it gets weird. Jack begins to either dream or time travel, and he finds out that he's gonna die in 4 days, so he tries to find out how. I better stop here, or else it'll really get confusing.
Keira Knightley is a girl who Jack met years earlier, and now she helps him find out the facts behind his death. Keira dirties up pretty good in this movie, and her American accent is surprisingly not bad (though it takes a few scenes to get used to it). Her nude scene and then the sex scene are quite gratuitous. Why'd they have to force in this romance anyway? That part never works.
The mystery works, and while it's tough to explain it's very involving and not TOO hard to follow. And perhaps most importantly, it has a satisfying conclusion.
BE COOL
I knew this film was in trouble a few days ago when I saw it was PG-13. Get Shorty was a strong R. You can't take away the edginess of an Elmore Leonard book and hang a PG-13 on an adaptation. Be Cool is so sanitized and vanilla you'd think George Bush edited it.
John Travolta's cocky smile returns as Chili Palmer, who is now becoming a record producer. He gets an aspiring singer (Christina Milian, who must've been created in a lab, since no one can be that cute EVER) out of her bad deal, which pisses a whole bunch of other record people off.
You know what pissed ME off? Never has a movie taken such a creative cast and left them so stranded. Uma Thurman's role could've been given by any actress. Uma's a Quentin girl. She's clearly bored by this material. Cedric The Entertainer has now been unfunny in so many movies that I'm forgetting why anyone thought he was funny in the first place. Harvey Keitel gives arguably the worst performance of his career (although I never did see the movie he did with the monkey). Vince Vaughn is excruciatingly unfunny as a white guy who thinks he's black. That kind of character has almost never worked. And the only thing Travolta brings back for this sequel is the smirk. This film is nowhere near as bad as Battlefield Earth or Basic, but as a lead actor I really think he's finished.
The good? Well, Christina Milian's appeal is undeniable. Cute, charming, and a good singer. The world is hers. Outkast's Andre 3000 has a tired stereotype of a role (the rapper who wants to always shoot everyone) but he delivers lots of little amusing moments, like the way he drinks tea.
And The Rock!
I have to sing the praises of The Rock. He is hysterical as the gay bodyguard with acting dreams. I've never seen an action star play against type so well before.
The story involves all sorts of setups and intersecting characters, but I didn't care. The dumbest part of the story is this: Christina's singer is kind of a less street Alicia Keys. So naturally Chili's first idea is to hook her up with Aerosmith's Steven Tyler? Huh? What kind of match is that? I will say I really enjoyed the Tyler-Milian version of "Cryin", one of my all time favorite songs.
Be Cool is one of the worst sequels to a good movie in a long time. Its not quite as big a drop as Speed 2 or The Lost World, but it may be enough to even taint Get Shorty.

3/17/05

ROBOTS
Not up to snuff, not in the era of Pixar genius. Love the animation, but these days that's such an automatic that one can't give a film a pass on that alone. There are some great visual gags (the bathroom signs were superb). But the story is dull, the characters are not brought to life well, no matter how many famous people do the voices (does anyone watching even remember the Halle Berry character?) and the thing just is not that funny, despite the frenetic efforts of Robin Williams.
HOSTAGE
This was outstanding, a total grabber from minute one. If 24 were ever made into a movie, it might turn out like this, with twist-upon-twist. Bruce Willis, who hadn't done a good film since Unbreakable, is really in top form here as a former hostage negotiator, now a local cop, who has to juggle a very Jack Bauer-esque scenario. The director, a newbie whose name I don't recall, makes the whole thing feel fresh. This thing has REAL excitement in it! It loses a little steam near the end, first with an overblown (and Leon-ripping) shootout, and then a second climax that's a bit hazy on the HUH?, but this is still the best thriller in along time.

3/29/05

THE UPSIDE OF ANGER
No doubt about it that Joan Allen, who I've often found kind of mechanical, gives a tremendous performance here as a housewife left by her husband. No doubt that Kevin Costner is very entertaining and loose as the neighbor who moves in on her after this. No doubt that all 4 actresses playing Allen's daughters are good, with top praise to the absolutely yummy Erika Christensen, and to Evan Rachel Wood, who shows that even after Thirteen she can play a convincingly innocent teen. No doubt that the film is an enjoyable mix of drama and often very funny comedy. So why don't I like it more? Well, it is a bit of a mess with the differing tones. Writer-director Mike Binder also acts in the film, and quite badly, in a subplot that exists only so he can share a bed with Erika. And a late development seems almost comical, when it should be heartbreaking. Still worth seeing, and expect both Allen and Costner to get Oscar buzz when the time comes.
GUESS WHO
Guess I shoulda known it would just be a Meet The Parents rip. I like Bernie Mac. I think he's very funny here at times. I like Ashton Kutcher kind of, but this part can be done in his sleep. But Ashton's big screen career has so far only been of interest when he stretched in The Butterfly Effect (which I will defend to anyone at anytime). He needs to stop doing Kelso in every film, and he's not a Jim Carrey or Will Ferrell who can get big laughs just by acting weird. This could've been a very funny movie. Its only novelty is the race angle, yet that's barely talked about. Every review I've seen talks about the "black joke" scene, and that's very funny. The rest of the movie is just a lame, uninspired sitcom with no ambition whatsoever. But Ashton and Bernie get some laughs near the end as they kind of buddy up. And I'll never quibble with seeing Zoe Saldana in a movie. I did really like the one actual romantic scene between her and Ashton.

4/3/05

Sin City:

In clear cut fanboy terms, allow me to say that Sin City OWNED MY ASS!
Not since volume one of Kill Bill have I been so completely mesmerized by a film. Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miler have teamed up to create what I can already say is one of my top 15 or 20 films I've EVER seen. I cannot wait to rush out and see the film again this week.
The look of the film is remarkable. But not just the green screen backgrounds, but the black and white itself, and the sparse use of color (like for Jaime King's Goldie). Amazing.
The story's not getting the credit it deserves. I loved all the characters. I loved the hard boiled, pulpy dialogue.
Every performance is superb. Bruce Willis and Clive Owen are too cool for words. I loved both. Obviously the trifecta of Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson and Brittany Murphy delivered all the way. Loved seeing Brittany do something other than a romcom. She's a live wire. Rosario is fierce to an insane level. And Jess is...well...😳I also thought Jaime King was nothing short of a revelation.
But my new cinematic hero is Mickey Rourke as Marv. That's one of the great characterizations ever put on film. He is the coolest badass with honor ever. This is a career reviving role as great as anything Tarantino's ever done.
What's wrong with the film? Well, the violence is a bit much even for me at a couple points (Benicio in the car after he becomes a "pez dispenser"), and women sure do get the shit beat out of em a lot in the film, although they do also get to administer a lot as well (how's about Devon Aoki as the coolest Asian assassin since Gogo Yubari!).
But Sin City is a triumph of major proportions, an absolute career peak for Robert Rodriguez, as well as for almost every actor involved.
10 outta 10!

4/12/05

Fever Pitch contains two events I never thought I'd witness in my lifetime.
The Boston Red Sox win the World Series and
The Farrelly brothers actually make a good movie again. True, the Farrelly drought is about 76 years shorter, but really, wasn't Shallow Hal WAY worse than Bill Buckner??? And don't give me any of that There's Something About Mary crap. That's probably the most overrated comedy of the last ten years. Not since Dumb & Dumber had they done a movie worth watching at all.
Fever Pitch is barely a Farrelly movie anyway. It's actually sweet, and lacks grossout jokes. Like High Fidelity (also based on a Nick Hornby novel and also one of the decade's rare good romantic comedies), this is a movie about a guy who is so obsessed about something that he may lose the woman he loves.
I'm a definite fan of Jimmy Fallon. Loved him in this movie. His character early on in the wooing stage has the same humor I do, cracking jokes all the time. And Drew Barrymore has never been more wooable. I really just don't like her much in interviews, but every time I see her in a movie I find her to be completely sweet and winning. These two are great together, and every scene where it's just them is terrific.
Now, like most romcoms, there are the "friend" characters who are always so shrill and shallow and hateful that I wanna see them dipped into a vat of boiling acid. Drew's friends and sister in the movie are SO friggin annoying. Jimmy's pals are tedious, but they're meant to be cartoons basically.
Surprisingly, the movie dips slightly once the baseball stuff kicks in. I enjoyed this stuff for the most part, but come on, no straight male would choose watching the Red Sox over lovable Drew.
But amidst a genre that usually only churns out the worst kind of crap, Fever Pitch is a solid example of how to do it right.
7/10

4/17/05

I have a long-standing tradition of never walking out of a film. The only time I ever did so was at Lost & Found, but even that gets an asterisk cause I thought the movie was over.
But oh boy did The Amityville Horror test my resolve! This remake of the horror "classic" is easily the worst movie of 2005 so far, but also really one of the worst movies I've ever seen in the theater. This thing is PITIFUL!
First of all, if you're gonna bother remaking a film within a genre that's beyond tired, that being the haunted house genre, how's about trying to invent at least ONE new twist? This film lacks a single creative moment. There is not one second of this film that has not previously been done, and done better. How unoriginal is it? The climax takes place in a huge thunderstorm.
The film is not the least bit scary. It takes about 10 minutes to completely figure out the film's attempted pattern of fright. Now, after about the fifth obvious hallucinaton that's supposed to be scary, I gave up hope that the film would ever generate a scare. It has ONE good jump scare. That's all.
And the film constantly shows us these creepy figures of dead people, and each reveal comes complete with a LOUD SOUNDTRACK NOISE! But in most of these cases, the characters are not seeing these figures along with the audience. So WHAT is the friggin point? They don't even have anything to do with the story.
And here's one more horror movie that just has lots and lots of cuts, in place of having any coherence.
The characters are idiots. OK, all haunted house movie abodes are large and creepy, but the leads here wait until AFTER buying the house to ask why it came so cheap, and then hear the grisly story of the murders that took place there. So naturally when they're having freaky shit happen to them it takes them FOREVER to put 2 and 2 together!
The acting is at best medicore. I think Ryan Reynolds has talent, but here he is all one note. Don't take his comic abilities away from him.
And Melissa George may be quite yummy, but I'm pretty sure a lamp shade could convey more intelligence and substance than she does in this film.
Phillip Baker Hall is in the film just long enough to fully convey how bored he is by the proceedings.
The story is a mess. There's this late 3rd act reveal down in the basement that the filmmakers do not even attempt to explain. And it is laughable how one character is so easily forgiven for attempted mass murder, possessed or not.
This is by FAR the worst film Michael Bay has ever been involved with. It's really quite stunning how the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake he produced was pretty good, while this is so awful. And this film IS awful. I mean, it's really sick, and not in a cool Sin City way.
AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Melinda and Melinda:
It seems like every new Woody Allen film is at least briefly hailed as a return to top form. Same thing with M&M, although here it is a little more warranted. Much of it is retread, but it has more substance than some of Woody's other recent comedies, albeit fewer great one-liners. And it is carried by a tremendous performance from Radha Mitchell as the title character(s). Hers is one of the year's first Oscar-worthy acting turns. Also doing well in the film are Chloe Sevigny, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Will Ferrell, who succeeds in the often daunting role of Woody's stand-in.

4/27/05

I really think this could be the best movie summer ever, at least as far as the big event blockbusters.
MAY
Revenge Of The Sith: The end of a long journey. Will be as bittersweet as it is cool and epic.
Kingdom Of Heaven: The title is cheesy. Orlando Bloom has still proven nothing to me. Yet we must trust the Ridley.
House Of Wax: I'm seeing this for 2 reasons: 1. Elisha friggin Cuthbert, and 2. Paris Hilton might get brutally waxed
Crash: Could Sandra Bullock actually be in a good movie??Kicking and Screaming: Love Will Ferrell, but it can't be great sign when Mike Ditka gets bigger laughs in the trailer.
Mindhunters: The trailer has been the lowlight of all my trips to Sin City.
Unleashed: This one's kind of just getting dumped out there, but I think it looks potentially great.
Madagascar: Looks like probably one of the good animated flicks
Monster-In-Law: Good, cause we haven't had a Meet The Parents-type movie in a few weeks. Remember when J Lo actually was a damn good and interesting actress?
The Longest Yard: Sandler's almost never done a bad one, but I'm not sure I've laughed once at the trailers so far.
JUNE
Cinderella Man: Looks like pretty boring Oscar bait to me
Lords Of Dogtown: Sick of the trailer, and the story's ehh, but it's from the director of Thirteen.
The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants: Chick flick stuff, but it may be hard to pass up a movie with Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel AND America Ferrera
The Adventures Of Shark Boy and Lava Girl In 3-D: Sorry Robert Rodriguez, but after Sin City all your kiddie forays will seem even more like slumming
The Honeymooners: I'm sure it'll be just as funny as all these other Cedric The Entertainer movies
Mr. And Mrs. Smith: Should be a can't miss, but Angelina Jolie movies ALWAYS reek
Batman Begins: Will wipe the floor with all previous Bat flicks. Katie Holmes will be great. The newest trailer induced drool
The Perfect Man: Once more the dance of "do I go see a Hilary Duff movie?"
Herbie: Fully Loaded: Lindsay, that poor girl
War Of The Worlds: Spielberg finally gets back to giant spectacle, and I cannot wait!!
Bewitched: Kidman as a witch. Really, how DID they make that connection?
JULY
Rebound: Martin Lawrence needs serious career counseling
Wedding Crashers: I might suffer through more frat pack nonsense since my future wife Rachel McAdams is in this
Dark Water: Oh boy, another Japanese horror remake! Will Jennifer Connelly mope, I wonder?
The Fantastic Four: This is the summer's big question mark. Hopefully it'll have more to offer than just Jessica's fantastic two
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Sorry Tim, I could not have less interest
Hustle & Flow: The big Sundance smash hit produced by John Singleton
An Unfinished Life: Redford, J Lo, Morgan Freeman. Oscar bait for summer
Bad News Bears: Billy Bob yelling at children. How can that NOT be hilariousThe Island: Michael Bay's first non-Bruckheimer extravaganza.
The Brothers Grimm: Terry Gilliam? I'm there.
Stealth: You can have your Jamie Foxx. My eyes will be fixed on one Jessica Biel, thank you.
AUGUST
2046: That big epic with Ziyi Zhang
Doom: yeah, why not? The Rock shooting at things should be fun.
The Dukes Of Hazzard: One of the few good things to happen to Britney lately is her not getting involved with this movie
The Pink Panther: totally unnecessary, but looks fairly funny
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo: How sad that I may actually go see thisFour Brothers: I'm there. John Singleton is one of my favorite directors
The Skeleton Key: Looks like a shameless ripoff of The Grudge, but it also looks like maybe Kate Hudson's first watchable movie since Almost Famous
The Cave: A Piper Perabo sighting! We have a Piper sighting!
Domino: The trailer led me to believe she's a bounty hunter
Red Eye: Wes Craven directs my future wifey Rachel McAdams
Romance & Cigarettes: Mandy Moore sighting!
Undiscovered: Ashlee Simpson's movie debut. Oh I'm sure the critics will be fair

4/29/05

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

THGTTG(for short) is a good film, but it is one of those frustrating good films, because the whole way you can tell it was so close to being great.
The film is very enjoyable, but often the tone seemed inconsistent. Mostly it's just an offbeat comedy, but then at the sort of serious points it is less effective.
The story is murky, but I didn't mind so much. The universe created by the film and the discovery of it all was fun enough. But it would have helped to have a story with more at stake. I'm not saying it needed to be just like every other space movie, and that there should've been a big battle scene at the end, but something more important would have helped.
The cast is mostly good. I really liked Mos Def, and Zooey Deschanel fits right in, and I just loved Bill Nighy as the guy who sort of built Earth. But Sam Rockwell got on my nerves. He was way over the top. And the guy who played Arthur (Martin Freeman, I think) was pretty much just a dullard. But I LOVED the depressive robot voiced by Alan Rickman
"I'd tell you what I think...but you wouldn't care." That robot made the movie for me.
I'm certain the film will be good for repeat viewings, what with the sheer number of jokes and creatures included.
7/10
Elsewhere, I watched Mean Creek. Wow! Great, great film, with I think indisputably the best ensemble acting from young actors that I've ever seen. Rory Culkin is terrific, the lead guy from Eurotrip is stunningly good, and that last scene on the boat before everything goes down is one of the most "oh shit, what's gonna happen?" scenes in memory.
8.5/10

5/2/05

XXX: State of the Union:

This sequel to the dreadful Vin Diesel starrer XXX is superior, which is a little like saying stubbing your toe is better than breaking it.
XXX had ambition. That film was supposed to wipe James Bond away and competely redo the spy genre. Oops. XXX2 has no ambition, other than to be a noisy, stupid action movie, and in its best moments succeeds.
Ice Cube has the action star attitude down, although it'd be ice if he'd been allowed to be a little more comedic. Samuel L. Jackson (does he have huge gambling debts or something? why does he DO this??) has a larger role this time, and does get a couple badass moments, but he's mostly bored. Willem Dafoe sleepwalks through another villain role. The women are hot.
There are a couple good action scenes. I liked the tank chase on an aircraft carrier (you heard me) and the finale is solid (although CGI'd to death).
This is like one of those action movies that goes direct to cable, and you watch it and are moderately entertained. That it gets a big screen release and cost $80 million shows just how much Hollywood overspends on its product.

5/8/05

Crash:

Crash is indeed a child of Magnolia. But imitation of a great film is ok by me, and Crash is probably the best film of its kind since PT's masterpiece. And it's a hell of a follow-up to Million Dollar Baby for screenwriter-turned-director Paul Haggis.
The story just has a group of racially mixed Los Angelinos colliding during a 2 day period. The twist here is that the film is very race conscious. Almost every scene has some sort of comment to make about race relations. I'm with any film that points out the truth that racism is still very much a reality, and I'm not sure I've ever seen a film that shows all sides of things so much.
The characters are not one-note at all, even the ones you think might be. And the ones you think are the more evolved may not really be so colorblind. I'd throw myself into the latter group and even I was hit with a couple moments where I was like "shit, I'd do that" or "I'd think that."
The ensemble cast is that best kind. You've got all kinds in one film. You have actors who are gold every time out (Don Cheadle leading the pack there). You have actors who CAN do this level of work but rarely do for whatever reason (Sandra Bullock, Ryan Phillippe, Matt Dillon, Thandie Newton). And then you've got the actors who are real surprises (yes folks, Ludacris gives an EXCELLENT performance). The only possible acting flaw is Brendan Fraser, but even he is better than usual.
Crash does have a couple of coincidental encounters that could (well, they DO) stetch credibility, and a couple scenes do get a little preachy, but overall this is really one of the best films of the year so far. It's a shame it's being released now, cause put this out 6 months later and it's an Oscar frontrunner.

5/11/05

House Of Wax:

What a fun surprise this was!
House Of Wax is not a great film, but it is tons of fun and it delivers the goods like no horror flick in a while.
The movie does not start that way. The film clocks in at 2 hours, and that's no shock when you see how tedious the first 20 or 30 minutes are. I mean, where's the editor? Delete some of those campfire scenes already!
But once they reach the creepy town with the titular House Of Wax (a house literally made of wax), the movie really gets going and is terrific the rest of the way. The whole last hour or so, every time the movie needed to have a cool moment or have a good bit of gore or just not go down the awful cliche route, it did it. It delivered.
The gore in the movie is really good. And a couple parts even made ME wince, and I'm usually a rock at these things. I mean, the part with the clippers and the vent...YOW! But the fun gore is there too, and yes, the person you wanna see die most does die, and in a very cool way. The movie is not scary, but there were a couple solid chases.
Were she not engaged, Elisha Cuthbert would be my future wife, and she's great in this. She's like Jessica Biel, a really cool actress who isn't getting the credit cause she isn't doing critic-friendly movies. But I dug her completely in this, and not just cause she spends most of the movie running around in a tanktop.
As for Paris Hilton, she's no real actress. I wouldn't give her a real role, but I didn't mind her here. She looks good, and has a great striptease, and her big chase scene worked.
Thoroughly satisfying!
7/10
Trailers:
-Hustle & Flow: It was playing as I walked in. Love Taryn Manning's braids.
-The Island: Well, it's a Michael Bay film, so you know the critics have it reviewed already. Looks a little too I, Robot maybe, but Bay will deliver.
-Land Of The Dead: ENOUGH with the friggin zombie movies already. Hopper's last line is the only good part.
-Dark Water: Seen it before. Jennifer Connelly mopes around as usual.
-The Dukes Of Hazzard: OMG what a turkey! They couldn't find one good joke for the trailer even? Thank god Britney didn't wind up in this.
-Batman Begins: This was the Katie-heavy one I saw on TRL, but it had more at the start. "The tumbler? Oh you wouldn't be interested in that."
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
It's hard to rip on this one too much. It IS very well made, very well shot and the big battles are all good (although considering the mammoth budget, how can several key encounters be left off screen?). And the supporting performances by Jeremy Irons, the Muslim leader (don't know the actor name) and Liam Neeson are great. But the story is not nearly as grand or moving as it should be. Orlando Bloom? He's not awful, but he just can't carry a film like this. And Eva Green's entire performance seems to be reaction shots to Orlando's big speeches (and she's always peering out from beind a doorway).
5/10, almost entirely due to Ridley Scott
UNLEASHED
It will surely go down as one of the year's most overlooked performances, but Jet Li is REALLY good in Unleashed. His character has basically been raised like he were a dog, and Jet is completely convincing in this outlandish role. Look at his eyes when Bob Hoskins is yelling at him. He looks like a dog being scolded.
The film is just ok though. Half the movie is Jet Li kind of discovering the joys of the world, and the other half is him being used as an attack dog, beating the shit out of whoever. The two halves never mesh well, although some of the former's scenes are kind of nice and many of the latter's fight scenes are excellent. Morgan Freeman is typically excellent, and Kerry Condon is perky cuteness as his daughter.
6/10

6/11/05

LORDS OF DOGTOWN
The story itself was not that interesting to me, but this film was very entertaining, especially in its first half as the guys all become local stars. Later when they become famous nationwide and all become assholes it gets less enjoyable. Well ok, they were always assholes, hence the flock of women around them. One of the women is my future wife Nikki Reed, who is only 17 now so I gotta wait a while still. This girl can act, she's gorgeous AND as we know from Thirteen she can write. MMMM-MMMM!! Ok, I've gotten off track. The cast across the board is good, although Emile Hirsch is not at all convincing during the gang member part.
THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS
Chick stuff, yes, but it has some substance. Well, parts do. The film is really just 4 individual stories, which is both good and bad. I greatly preferred the stories involving my OTHER future wife Amber Tamblyn, as well as the one with my future mistress America Ferrera. Amber's a cynic and one scene of her doing her mundane work zombie-like was very relatable to me. Plus her section involves the awesome Jenna Boyd, who has to be one of the best young actresses out there. It gets sappy, but Amber takes a scene that could've been manipulative and sells it totally. America's part is good too, and she nails her big scene too. But then there's Alexis Bledel and Blake Lively, and their stories amount to little more than "girl has fling with hunky guy." Gee, never seen THAT before.
So, I liked half the film, and the other half sucked.

KICKING AND SCREAMING
NOT Will Ferrell at his best. He gets some laughs, and Mike Ditka is quite funny. But this one doesn't really work in any way. It's inferior to the best of the ragtag underdog sports movie. The father-son rivalry stuff is a waste of time. And as a Will vehicle its weak too. BUT...it's way better than Bewitched will be.

6/15/05

BATMAN BEGINS

To the surprise of no one, Batman Begins easily bests either Burton or Schumacher effort. This is because Christopher Nolan is a better director than those guys combined. Nolan nails the dark mood. He gets top level performances out of one of the best casts ever assembled. And that Batmobile chase sequence was REALLY good! The fight scenes were a little TOO dark though. I couldn't even see what was happening most of the time.
Christian Bale is the best Batman (although I actually thought Clooney was pretty good). Michael Caine is wonderful as Alfred, giving the movie some much needed humor. Morgan Freeman is probably the greatest actor on the planet. Loved seeing Gary Oldman play a nice guy for a change. Got a big kick out of him riding the Batmobile. I really enjoyed how much of a bastard Liam Neeson's character was.
And Katie Holmes is terrific, giving one of her best movie performances, and probably her most convincingly adult performance too. Glad the would-be romance wasn't focused on much at all.
The film's setup IS compelling, and it ends early enough for a real Gotham-set story to emerge, but much like X-Men, the sequel to this film is gonna be outstanding given the fact that the setting up will be out of the way. Will The Joker actually be in it? I don't know, but some people applauded at that teaser moment.

7/8/05

Chalk up another big winner for Marvel films! Fantastic Four looks set to be another excellent comic film franchise.
I'm sure I'll get lambasted for daring to say this, but Fantastic Four is better than Batman Begins. Not by a lot, mind you, but it's just a better, more complete film. It delivers the origin story AND a stand alone plot (for lack of a better term), and they mesh together, whereas BB is like 2 separate films grafted onto each other.
It's obvious after about 5 minutes why this film is getting weaker reviews (Harry Knowles is an idiot btw, but that's another issue). Unlike a lot of the other superhero flicks, this one is light in tone. It's actually putting fun FIRST, and it feels more like a good old fashioned summer movie than any comic film since the first Spiderman. But it's not campy or anything.
Love that first big sequence on the bridge where they all start to use their powers. All 4 characters get to be involved in the action, and this film juggles them better than even either X-Men film did.
Blah blah Jessica Alba's no good cause she's a girl and fanboys hate girls./rolls eyes Jess is very good in this movie, although I don't know if her talent can EVER match her beauty! Ioan Gruffudd is charming, Chris Evans is surprisingly ok, and Michael Chiklis is the man. Juilian McMahon is ok as Dr. Doom, although his character and arc are almost identical to the Green Goblin. And you can't go wrong with tiny roles for Maria Menounos (not often she'd only be the 2nd hottest girl in a movie) and Kerry Washington (not often she'd only be the THIRD hottest girl in a movie!).
Fantastic Four is not quite at that Spiderman/X-Men/Blade level, but is pretty close.
8/10
WEDDING CRASHERS
I only aw this movie because my future wife Rachel McAdams is in it. I generally cannot stand Owen Wilson and am fairly indifferent on Vince Vaughn. But Wilson's I guess at his most tolerable here. Vaughn gets some laughs. I did laugh at the movie. Rachel might be able to give any actress a game in the stunning beauty department. WOW! And I continue to love her knack for comedy. And I dug Isla Fisher as the girl who goes nutty for Vaughn. The movie spends too much time hitting typical raunchy comedy notes (i.e. the foul-mouthed old person) and parts seems completely lifted from Meet The Parents, but in a summer with little comedy this ain't bad.
6/10

7/21/05

I've been watching as many flicks this summer on cable or pay per view as possible, and here's what I've seen so far, in a rough order of best to worst:
National Treasure: Just a classic fun Bruckheimer movie. Good premise, and well executed. They really didn't even need Sean Bean's bad guy. Diane Kruger was yummy.
Blade Runner: sci-fi isn't always my thing, but this was cool. Excellent fx (especially for the early 80's) and this has my favorite Harrison Ford performance.
Assault On Precinct 13: The remake. Good solid tough guy action flick, and unafraid to kill off major people, and brutally.
The Woodsman: Certain story elements are ludicrous (right, like they'd let a paroled child molester live across the street from a school, and every supporting character seems to have a past filled with abuse). The film is carried by an excellent Kevin Bacon, and the continually brilliant Mos Def, who I think may have been robbed of a supporting actor nomination here.
Undertow: I HATED David Gordon Green's All The Real Girls, but this was a step up, even before my precious Shiri Appleby showed up. Josh Lucas was great. Real tension in parts.
The Terminal: Hanks tried, but he never fit the role. Catherine Zeta Jones is beautiful of course. Stanley Tucci's character is a nonsensical bad guy. Why'd this story even NEED a bad guy? I liked the bit characters and storylines, especially the wonderful Zoe Saldana.
saw: The first 20 minutes or so are flat out brilliant. I thought this was headed for greatness...but then they decide to leave that room, and we get a mess of a serial killer story, and a half baked cop movie. The film earns major points for just how fucking sadistic it is. I wouldn't totally scoff at the idea of going to see the sequel that's on its way.
Wimbledon: I've NEVER found Kirsten Dunst sexier, but it's damn hard to have a successful romcom if the girl isn't likable. Paul Bettany's solid. The tennis is, well, tennis. I hate this genre, and this was not as bad as most.
D.E.B.S.: Any movie that features both Jordana Brewster and the absurdly gorgeous Meagan Good has at least something going for it. But this lesbian spy comedy is silly. Silly w/o being particularly funny, that is, and some of the acting is pretty sorry. And please, this thing shoulda gone for the R.
Shall We Dance?: The story has to be so convoluted to even exist. Why would Richard Gere have to secretly take the dance lessons? Why would Susan Sarandon hire a private eye to snoop on him? J Lo gives easily the worst performance of her career. She's bloody awful. The dancing's ok, and I did like how the big fat guy ended up with Mya, although she's so petite that it brings up a visual that's a little disturbing.
A Love Song For Bobby Long: Scarlett Johansson is good. Travolta is a total annoyance. Honestly, I've basically forgotten this one entirely.
All Over Me: Stars this girl Allison Foland who I used to be kinda into. Pretty bad movie, and Alison's buddy is one of the more unlikable characters ever.
The Evil Dead: Uh, sorry all you cultists out there, but I don't get it. I thought this was supposed to be funny? Some fun gore, but it's just as bad as most other zombie movies.
The Door In The Floor: I would praise the film for its rampant nudity, but alas that includes many shots of Jeff Bridges' flabby ass (hey, mine's no better). Kim Basinger is pretty pathetic as usual, and the young guy is a total bore.
Pauly Shore Is Dead: I'd hoped for an amusing satire, but all Shore's movie does is keep name dropping all his movies. The movie certainly sets the record for most celebrity cameos (including Britney), and those are half the film.
Johnson Family Vacation: Ugh! Could this have been any more uninspired? Every joke is a retread. The only good part is Shannon Elizabeth's small role as a nutty hitchhiker.
Confessions Of An American Girl: Jena Malone's usually so spot-on, but this film was abysmal. She's a teen who's depressed (i.e. Donnie Darko) and pregnant (i.e. Saved) who goes with her trailer trash family (including Alicia Witt & Brad Renfro) to visit her father in prison, which is the least prison-like prison ever. Laughable. The guy playing the dad gives literally one of the worst performances you will ever see.
Darkness: I didn't even finish this one. A total turkey. Sorry Anna Paquin.

7/23/05

I'm not sure there's ever been a truly great rap movie (not including documentaries). 8 Mile got a lot of unjust praise, but really it was a glorified Eminem vanity project. It did get the rap battles VERY right though.
I still don't think a great rap film exists, but Hustle & Flow (co-produced by one of my favorite directors, John Singleton) gets closer than any predecessor, even if it's a bit of a mess.
The film is about DJay (Terrence Howard) a Memphis pimp who tries to become a rapper. He scrapes together the resources and people to make a demo tape, which he hopes to pass along to star rapper Skinny Black (Ludacris--who'd have thought he'd be such a good actor?).
Now, I've seen the film compared to Rocky, or the plethora of other "underdog makes good" films. Thing is, in those films the underdog is someone you wanna see succeed. DJay is a pretty despicable human being. Howard is good in the role (albeit all in one note), but he can't make DJay likable. But it's kind of interesting to HAVE the lead character be so unlikable.
The supporting cast shines. This may not be a compliment, but Taryn Manning was born to play a prostitute. Anthony Anderson is very good in a welcome serious role. Given how annoying his comedic ventures have become, I hope he tries the dramatic stuff regularly. DJ Qualls is a weird fit in this movie (obviously!), but he's good. And Taraji Henson (in her first movie since her great debut in Singleton's baby Boy) is great as DJay's pregnant ex-trick. She gets one really great scene with him, thanking him for letting her sing on the demo. The scene where DJay's soon-to-be hit "Whoop that Trick" is created bit by bit is one of the great scenes of the year. And yeah, the few songs (performed BY Howard, I believe) are pretty catchy, and are better than most southern rap (a sub-genre I mostly loathe).
The film feels like it may have been edited considerably since it hit it big at the festivals. The last 20 minutes almost go completey off the rails, and while what happens there works actually as a satire, I'm not sure it was intended that way.
The film is a bit of a mess as I said, but when it works it REALLY works, and that's more than enough in a summer of who cares remakes and retreads.
7/10

7/24/05

THE ISLAND:

YES! YES! YES!
THIS is the classic Michael Bay! I know for a lot of people that's not good news...but SCREW those people!
The Island marks Bay's first film not done in collaboration with Jerry Bruckheimer, and in the past that's been a bad move (see Simon West & Dominic Sena). But not for Bay. This is his best film since Armageddon, a nearly seamless combo of smart sci-fi and classic Bay action.
Naturally, the critics are full of shit, and have blasted the film as being nonstop explosions and mayhem. Apparently they sat out the opening hour, which has virtually no action at all. Bay slows down his quick edits and takes his time to set up the sterile world of the characters. And after Bad Boys 2, it's great to see Bay HAVE a story to work with.
True, the twist of the story has been given away by all the trailers and all, but knowing what the setting really is and what the purpose of the characters really are does not detract from anything. The story itself is rather predictable too, and that would probably be the one major flaw in the film.
But I dug the opening hour, and how Bay set up the world. Then the 2nd half of the film is pretty much constant action and explosions and mayhem, and if you can tell me anyone who does that stuff with even a tenth of the skill that Michael Bay does, I'm all ears. The car chase is fantastic!!
Ewan McGregor is excellent, and has tons of fun with the scenes where there are 2 of him.
And Scarlett Johansson, well, Bay sure does make the actors on screen look good. Good LAWD! And it's fun seeing Scarlett in a big action movie.
Steve Buscemi is great as another of his nutty nutballs, and Djimon Hounsou is always cool. Sean Bean though probably needs to stop playing bad guys.
Definitely one of the summer's best films.
9/10